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Dating show couple awkwardly argues over who should pay bill, online debate ensues

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entremet

entremet

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http://mashable.com/2015/10/16/first-dates-who-pays-bill/#3r5X_5M8tOq5

ONDON — British reality dating show First Dates — which revolves around a restaurant in London in which various couples meet for the first time to have dinner — is usually a treasure trove of awkwardness, but Thursday night's episode took things to a whole other level.

The drama centred around a date between 30-year-old manager Elle and 38-year-old fireman Mark, both from London. Things seemed to be going okay until right at the very end of the date when the subject of paying for the meal came up — and everything suddenly got very awkward, very fast.
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"Oh, we need to pay the bill," said Elle, before moving the paper over to Mark's side of the table.

Mark then asked if she was giving the bill to him, and Elle replied by saying: "Of course I'm giving it to you. I never pay on dates, why would I?"
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"What, are we not equal? We're equal when you want us to be. No?"

Elle didn't look impressed, and in an interview after the date she gave her side.

"I'm just more used to not having to pay," she said. "Usually if I'm on a date, you get treated nicely. You get treated like a woman."
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Twitter reactions at the link.

Pretty pricey for a first date, bro.

Do coffee next time.
 
Some women expect to be paid for, and others get offended if you offer to pay. Use the dinner conversation time to figure out what type of woman she is. If she's a feminist she probably prefers to pay for her own meal. If she's an old fashioned conservative, she probably expects the man to pay. Exceptions to the rule apply
 
If he offers to pay, fine. But don't expect it. Certainly not on a first date.

And just go for some drinks next time Mark, not a fancy diner.
 
It's a trap. I know many woman (including my sister) who offer to pay half the bill and if the guy agrees, they never go out with him again. Awful.
 
Literally finished watching this thirty seconds ago, weird timing for a date.

It was super expensive and I still find it surprising considering the fact the show is on TV (shouldn't it be subsidised?). She was the one wanting all of those drinks, and was disgusted by the idea of contributing. As a guy I would pay for a date in certain circumstances but fuck her. In that case I wouldn't - especially considering there's no chance of it going anywhere.
BobTheFork said:
It's a trap. I know many woman (including my sister) who offer to pay half the bill and if the guy agrees, they never go out with him again. Awful.
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I've heard cases of this as well. It is a bit ridiculous, I was in a long term relationship with the majority of the bill being footed by me and it is bollocks. I'll offer to pay for everything on a first date if I'm interested, but otherwise fuck full contributions.

Moreover, family have talked about 'going Dutch' as a bad thing early on, but have pushed it later in the relationship.. I'm kinda fine with that but the onus shouldn't be on guys to pay for everything.
 
Probably better to get her to agree that each pay half before ordering or go somewhere cheaper.

Then again... I er never been on a date so what do I know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
 
i've never been on a date so maybe i'm just completely off base here but shouldn't the bill be split between the two? the whole "i want to be treated like a woman" thing is just like "i want you to be sexist to me and act like that because i'm a woman i need to be pampered and can't deal with mundane stuff like paying the bill"
 
Hellwarden said:
People should split the bill in a date assuming there's not some odd circumstances that prevents one of them from doing so.
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What about ingrained outdated social institutions? I think those count as odd circumstances.
 
Stet said:
Why should the guy pay again?
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Outside of gender I always though if you're the one doing the inviting, you pay.

For example, if I want to invite someone to lunch for networking purposes, I will pay the tab since they're giving their time.

For dating, it tends to go back and forth when serious. I mean, is guy going to pay for every date forever?
 
Oh, we need to pay the bill," said Elle, before moving the paper over to Mark's side of the table.

Mark then asked if she was giving the bill to him, and Elle replied by saying: "Of course I'm giving it to you. I never pay on dates, why would I?"
Click to expand...

She got rekt.
 
If you side with this woman you're a terrible person.

I mean, even if you think the guy should pay, even if the guy think he should pay, you don't slide the bill over to him and say 'pay this'.
 
I expect my girlfriend to offer to split the bill and take turns covering checks. Of course we both try to cover the bill first, but it's the simple fact that we both offer to cover or split the bill that makes the other want to actually cover the bill entirely.

entrement said:
Outside of gender I always though if you're the one doing the inviting, you pay.

For example, if I want to invite someone to lunch for networking purposes, I will pay the tab since they're giving their time.

For dating, it tends to go back and forth when serious. I mean, is guy going to pay for every date forever?
Click to expand...

As far as inviting someone out to a place of your choice, then yes, I'd expect you to at least OFFER to cover the bill, but I will always try to cover at the very least my own half and more. I don't ever expect someone to cover the bill if I'm invited out by them, but if they invite me out and they don't even attempt to pay, then I get so upset inside. Ugh.
 
geestack said:
always split on the 1st date, which is why you don't go to a fancy dinner. doesn't london have great pubs?
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This is a show which hooks people up in a fancy restaurant opposite St Pauls.. it does have great pubs but for this it is different.
entrement said:
Outside of gender I always though if you're the one doing the inviting, you pay.

For example, if I want to invite someone to lunch for networking purposes, I will pay the tab since they're giving their time.

For dating, it tends to go back and forth when serious. I mean, is guy going to pay for every date forever?
Click to expand...

I can see this, but in this case they applied so it is more complex.
 
BobTheFork said:
It's a trap. I know many woman (including my sister) who offer to pay half the bill and if the guy agrees, they never go out with him again. Awful.
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I do the reverse trap.

I always try to pay the whole bill for first date but I will always try to see if the woman is willing to pay. Either way I will try to pay the whole thing but the woman not offering is a major negative for me.

perfectchaos007 said:
Some women expect to be paid for, and others get offended if you offer to pay. Use the dinner conversation time to figure out what type of woman she is. If she's a feminist she probably prefers to pay for her own meal. If she's an old fashioned conservative, she probably expects the man to pay. Exceptions to the rule apply
Click to expand...

Sadly in my experience it tend to be the opposite.
 
BobTheFork said:
It's a trap. I know many woman (including my sister) who offer to pay half the bill and if the guy agrees, they never go out with him again. Awful.
Click to expand...

That's not a trap, its an early warning detection system that saves the other guy from wasting time and money on them
 
entrement said:
Outside of gender I always though if you're the one doing the inviting, you pay.

For example, if I want to invite someone to lunch for networking purposes, I will pay the tab since they're giving their time.

For dating, it tends to go back and forth when serious. I mean, is guy going to pay for every date forever?
Click to expand...

This seems perfectly acceptable. It keeps things even, but you still get to be treated to a meal fairly often.
 
Bam Bam Baklava said:
Is it a date or an investigation? Jesus.
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Hmm, I think a first date is actually more like an investigation.

Oh, we need to pay the bill," said Elle, before moving the paper over to Mark's side of the table.

Mark then asked if she was giving the bill to him, and Elle replied by saying: "Of course I'm giving it to you. I never pay on dates, why would I?"
Click to expand...

This sounds really scripted, though. I guess it's possible for real people to speak and act this way, but I'm getting some strong "written scenario to push people's buttons" vibes from this.
 
perfectchaos007 said:
Some women expect to be paid for, and others get offended if you offer to pay. Use the dinner conversation time to figure out what type of woman she is. If she's a feminist she probably prefers to pay for her own meal. If she's an old fashioned conservative, she probably expects the man to pay. Exceptions to the rule apply
Click to expand...

I've never met a girl who got offended at me paying for everything.

(or a guy, for that matter).

Free stuff rules.
 
Dating etiquette is not moving the bill to the other side of the table for the man to pay. You offer to split the bill, and accept graciously if the man offers to pay for it
 
I'm usually fine with paying the bill but don't just assume and get all entitled about it.

BobTheFork said:
It's a trap. I know many woman (including my sister) who offer to pay half the bill and if the guy agrees, they never go out with him again. Awful.
Click to expand...

Would you _want_ to keep dating someone so shallow?
 
Mr. X said:
Whoever invites pays.
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entrement said:
Outside of gender I always though if you're the one doing the inviting, you pay.

For example, if I want to invite someone to lunch for networking purposes, I will pay the tab since they're giving their time.

For dating, it tends to go back and forth when serious. I mean, is guy going to pay for every date forever?
Click to expand...

But if they were set up by the show, that doesn't constitutes as the guy (or either of them) inviting, why should he pay?

Hell, if their humilation is being broadcasted on tv, why isn't the show paying?
 
I'm not sure I understand the whole "if you're invited, clearly you're not paying" thing.

I'd assume I pay for myself, unless the person said otherwise.
 
I just pay, who cares.

I think the real moral of the story is to not go to an expensive place and order a bunch of drinks and shit*







*Unless you have ulterior motives.
 
I read the article and while that's not cheap at least from what I read the price didn't seem to be what it was about for him. She was really rude to put it on his side and expect him to pay and he called her out on it. If the check was dropped in the middle and he offered to pay, no big deal.
 
I've been the one to pay and also have gone Dutch. If I invited the girl out, I paid in full. Never been an issue.
 
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