entremet
Member
Gonna be the new "Deal with it" gif lol.
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Dating show couple awkwardly argues over who should pay bill, online debate ensues
- Thread starter entremet
- Start date
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Gonna be the new "Deal with it" gif lol.
If I ask her out , I will pay. The girl should offer to split though, and definitely not slide the check over to me.
After she offers to split, I will usually insist on paying. If she insists on splitting after that, then we can split.
If things are going well, insisting on paying is a decent segway into to talking about a second date. Like "Let me pay this time since I asked you to come, we can split next time".
After the first date though, we should take turns paying or split.
After she offers to split, I will usually insist on paying. If she insists on splitting after that, then we can split.
If things are going well, insisting on paying is a decent segway into to talking about a second date. Like "Let me pay this time since I asked you to come, we can split next time".
After the first date though, we should take turns paying or split.
RevengeOfDoh
Banned
Reality tv is scripted? Are you going to tell me that Santa Claus isn't real either?
Well it depends how it works, like "hey let's get together and have some [restaurant]" is one thing, but "I would like to take you on a date to [restaurant]" is an entirely different thing, the former is a situation where split bills are expected, the later is the other person offering to take you to eat and thus it's reasonable to expect them to pay.
Granted, you don't show the complete lack of class this lady showed to that man.
Ya, If I'm gonna comp your meal I'll say so ahead of time. Expecting implicitly for someone to pay for your meal for you is very poor etiquette unless prior arrangements for it were made.
I'm not saying that having a meal paid for is wrong but expecting it, ESPECIALLY after they have stated otherwise, makes you a douchebag.
Pilgrimzero
Member
I always expected to pay. Though, I'd think twice about ever seeing her again if she shoved the bill at me.
GustyGardens
Banned
I don't mind paying for the bill, but I wouldn't want the person I'm dating to push the bill in my direction, assuming I'll pay, unless we've talked about it further. Always assume you're going to split it, especially on a first date. It's almost always that the guy is going to take the L and pay the bill, but it should never be assumed. It's just manners.
That being said, this whole "equality, except when it benefits me" way of thinking is rather irksome. I'm glad that I don't associate with those kinds of people, men or women.
That being said, this whole "equality, except when it benefits me" way of thinking is rather irksome. I'm glad that I don't associate with those kinds of people, men or women.
UncleSporky
Member
Is the implication that the conversation should be used to figure out what type she is, and act accordingly? In other words, pay if they expect it and don't if they don't?
Why should either party feel responsible to go to that kind of trouble? If your decision regarding the bill is a point of contention then that's just something to think about in terms of how the date went. I wouldn't say it should be a dealbreaker, but just something consider.
LUFTRAUSER
Banned
I don't know about you but I've never actually seen a chick like this. The people that want you to pay for their food are usually traditional in general, and the ones that don't, aren't.
So when you go on dates do you just stare at them silently?
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Bills should always be split, unless one of the two is particularly broke or something (but then they probably shouldn't be dating to begin with). Anything else is outdated horseshit.
AyaisMUsikWhore
Member
This is iffy. I usually pay for myself because I never want this discussion to happen ....but then....the discussion happens because the other party feels like I emasculated him because I made that decision.
It's give or take. Some men are willing to do it...others are not. I don't wrong her for feeling like he had to if it was something she was use to from other dates but at the same time, her excuse was pretty lame. Feeling like a women has nothing to do with a man paying for food but more like a man willing to pay for it without allowing you to ...I think ...in my crazy opinion
It's give or take. Some men are willing to do it...others are not. I don't wrong her for feeling like he had to if it was something she was use to from other dates but at the same time, her excuse was pretty lame. Feeling like a women has nothing to do with a man paying for food but more like a man willing to pay for it without allowing you to ...I think ...in my crazy opinion
Skel1ingt0n
I can't *believe* these lazy developers keep making file sizes so damn large. Btw, how does technology work?
If I ask her out, I pay.
If she asks me out - typically in the form of a casual "we outta grab dinner" - I'll assume we're splitting.
That said, most anytime I have ever gone out to dinner for the very first time with a woman - whether romantic or not - I have always taken care of the bill.
It's ONE extra meal - it's not going to bankrupt me, and is a nice gesture that also reflects well on me. I've never had a single girl take issue with it, in the ~20 or so "first dates" or casual dinners I've gone out to.
Fortunately, I'm now happily engaged and don't have to deal with shit like this.
**
As for the other side - the guy's PoV in the article - of "why do I have to pay if we're equal?" It's not about equality - it's not about being fair. If someone doesn't open the door for me going into a 7-11, I still open the door for the person behind me, because it's a nice gesture. I'd hate to think of marrying someone and I didn't even have the courtesy to get them dinner on our first date.
With that said, I wouldn't ever go out with a "serial date-r," - someone who goes out with three or four different guys each week for free food and free entertainment, and then plans to bail on the second or third date. I'm not shaming - I just have always known people a bit better than that on our first time going out; and wouldn't have asked if I knew that was how they approached romantic encounters.
If she asks me out - typically in the form of a casual "we outta grab dinner" - I'll assume we're splitting.
That said, most anytime I have ever gone out to dinner for the very first time with a woman - whether romantic or not - I have always taken care of the bill.
It's ONE extra meal - it's not going to bankrupt me, and is a nice gesture that also reflects well on me. I've never had a single girl take issue with it, in the ~20 or so "first dates" or casual dinners I've gone out to.
Fortunately, I'm now happily engaged and don't have to deal with shit like this.
**
As for the other side - the guy's PoV in the article - of "why do I have to pay if we're equal?" It's not about equality - it's not about being fair. If someone doesn't open the door for me going into a 7-11, I still open the door for the person behind me, because it's a nice gesture. I'd hate to think of marrying someone and I didn't even have the courtesy to get them dinner on our first date.
With that said, I wouldn't ever go out with a "serial date-r," - someone who goes out with three or four different guys each week for free food and free entertainment, and then plans to bail on the second or third date. I'm not shaming - I just have always known people a bit better than that on our first time going out; and wouldn't have asked if I knew that was how they approached romantic encounters.
LUFTRAUSER
Banned
This was in London. They don't tip in London.
Coriolanus
Banned
Usually split. If the date is going bad, definitely split.
pfft I tip when in London
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Hahaha if that had happened to me when I was single I would tell them thanks for doing me the favor of not wasting my time.
DragonSworne
Banned
If you have a job you should help pay... unless the date went well and you feel like bein nice. This applies to both sexes.
Brawndo Addict
Banned
I can't really get behind not wanting to go Dutch unless you didn't really want to be on the date in the first place or someone initially offered to pay beforehand as 'their treat' or something to that effect. Presumably both people are actively interested in spending time with each other, so they should be willing to pay money to do that (assuming equal finances). I mean, no one expects you to pay for the other person's gas or cab fare but that's another expense involved in going on the date that we don't put on one person.
I was speaking generally. If the show set it up, the show should pay/reimburse whoever so I'm calling staged.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Because I can afford it and don't have any assumptions about their guilt or personal feeling towards the bill, I'll offer to pay. I've been pleasantly surprised when they've paid outright the first time or split or mentioned that they don't feel comfortable making me pay and pay their own part too.
I think a hard and fast rule is hard to arrive at in modern times.
I think a hard and fast rule is hard to arrive at in modern times.
GTS300Coupe
Banned
This is the worst part about dating. I always offer to pay but a lot of the time there's no second date. Ends up costing me so much money while the ladies get free meals.
I have changed my routine up so first few dates I'm extremely cheap and do coffee and parks,etc. Which cost next to nothing.
I have changed my routine up so first few dates I'm extremely cheap and do coffee and parks,etc. Which cost next to nothing.
EarsOfASnake
Member
Only time I have payed for the whole meal has been if it's convenient for me to do so i.e we are moving on somewhere after and it's easier to just have one person pay. Usually in those situations they will then get the next round of drinks, coffee or whatever it is. The idea that the man pays for a first date is outdated and immature. You're going to meet someone, the meal or drink is just the social activity that facilitates it, it's not a grand gesture, just split the bill.
That said, I always start with coffee, keep first dates simple.
That said, I always start with coffee, keep first dates simple.
Sorry, but I wouldn't want to date a woman that does that.
When I invite a girl over to my place for sex, I usually pay her. It's only fair.
I was on the Canadian version of this show.
So, not sure if it's the same, they give you an automatic amount deducted from your bill (was $50 when I did it) but even if you order less than that they still bring the bill to the table, I'm pretty sure so awkward things like this will happen.
So, not sure if it's the same, they give you an automatic amount deducted from your bill (was $50 when I did it) but even if you order less than that they still bring the bill to the table, I'm pretty sure so awkward things like this will happen.
BobTheFork
Member
You wouldn't know until she already did it.
I keep having an issue where I try to pay for the meal, because I asked them out. They absolutely refuse to let me pay and I think it's because if I pay it's a date. Even if I say "I want to take you out to dinner' they can fob it off as 'just hanging out' if they pay when it's clearly a date.
I think there are some women who are afraid of bad dates and hate calling it a date until they know if they enjoyed it or not.
What kind of man doesn't pay on the first date? I don't think I've ever not paid on a first date once in my entire life.
If you don't want to pay a lot of money, then just go for a walk or just grab some coffee. But always offer to pay and politely insist once even if she asks to split. It's gentlemanly and kind.
If you don't want to pay a lot of money, then just go for a walk or just grab some coffee. But always offer to pay and politely insist once even if she asks to split. It's gentlemanly and kind.
What if two gay men go out? Does the universe implode?
When we were still dating, my wife offered to pay tip at a sushi restaurant that my dad and step mother took us out to for my birthday, with a few other people as well. She wa very surprised when my step mom said sure absolutely. Hah, it was like an $80 tip or something. I told her later that in this family, don't make the offer if you don't want to actually do it.
entremet
Member
It really is. What system can replace it though?
What about two gay women? Never ending stalemate as both just stare at the bill? (Until a kind gentleman notices the predicament and offers to pay, of course.)
EarsOfASnake
Member
It's what caused the 2008 depression, gay men everywhere were out on dates but could never decide who would pay, this created a worldwide deficit.
thecouncil
Banned
'netflix and chill', of course.
I haven't the faintest idea. But I feel like whoever asked should offer to treat the other person.
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