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[Misterhbk]

I don't know what that is, and you are confused, I'm not the one calling my friends with babies to make plans. I don't bother. They are the ones contacting me when they have time. I'm just saying it's unfortunate when I do hang out with them, they are husks of the people they once were and are kind of boring.

I of course don't tell them that, but I'm posting my inner thoughts on an internet forum to get them out and discuss them

If they suck why even accept the plans? Go to Vegas instead

 

[RedNumberFive]

Yep...we're getting nailed for nearly $1600/mo., and that's considered cheap here. The good news is, they ain't babies forever. People forget that part, too.

$2500/mo for my two kids. Jesus Christ.

 

[Tabris]

You don't bother contacting friends with kids?

I'll keep up on messaging them but I don't invite them out to things. I learned not to bother when some of my old friends started to have kids. I also tend to have things planned for me by people on moments notice (girlfriend especially) so rare I make plans.

 

[Dalek]

$2500/mo for my two kids. Jesus Christ.

When my daughter was in daycare/pre-school it was 1800 a month-our friend had two kids who went there at the same time. They give you a multi-kid discount of 300 off-so they were basically paying 3000 a month for daycare.

 

[Trident]

Sure, brunch is enjoyable activity with the right people. Most fun ever? Come on.

I think a big part of this is that a lot of people lose interest in adrenaline rush-based fun when they're content. They're no longer chasing a high, so the relaxed pleasantness of brunch is more enjoyable.

 

[345triangle]

So much delusion in this thread.

"There's nothing more fun then making family breakfast on a Sunday"

"I smoked a brisket after I made the yard look nice - that's fun"

was kind of with you, OP — in life direction if not tone — until this

 

[choodi]

You don't think it's delusional that they've convinced themselves that making family breakfast Sunday morning is the most fun ever?

No actually, I don't.

You need to understand how pathetic you sound to someone who has a family.

Our priorities have changed as our lifestyles have changed. Your priorities have not changed in the 10-15 years since you were a teenager.

I can have a great conversation with people about my kids' bowel movements or the latest TV show that I watched, and I can also have a great conversation about current affairs and other serious topics over a nice dinner or family breakfast. It all depends on the maturity and quality of the person I am conversing with and the environment where that conversation is taking place.

However, trying to have a conversation with someone who's idea of a good time is getting drunk and partying all night with people more than 10 years their junior is difficult because I don't find those things fun or exciting anymore.

Conversation is a two-way thing. Both parties need to be engaged to make it interesting, otherwise it's just one person talking to themselves.

Have you ever stopped to think that your friends might find you trying to cling on desperately to a lifestyle that they outgrew many years ago to be boring and irritating?

 

[JoseLopez]

Geez op you sound like a frat kid
Their actually taking care of their kids and working rather than staring at a monitor.

 

[TickleMeElbow]

People really underestimate how often this is the case. The zombie lifestyle and time crunch from having a kid is super real, but interesting people don't actually turn boring because they're tired and busy. If a friend has a kid and you discover they suddenly can only talk about ultra-boring shit, it is extremely likely that they've always been this boring and you just didn't care before when you were both getting trashed every time you hung out.

Yeah I don't know a single person who I consider interesting suddenly turn into a boring middle class surban caricature (like OP seems to be describing) after having kids.

I mean yeah they do things like family barbecues and whatnot, but they're not just going to stop talking about cool shit because they have a child. Even if they do talk about their kids, they find a way to make that subject entertaining/interesting.

OP, those people were probably boring as shit to begin with, and now that you can't relate to them they seem even more boring.

Also, most people in their early 20's don't know jack shit about anything. If those people are more interesting to be around, then that just further confirms that your friends who had kids and suddenly became "boring" were always boring.

Or maybe you're just boring, and have boring friends.

 

[Nocebo]

I don't know what that is, and you are confused, I'm not the one calling my friends with babies to make plans. I don't bother. They are the ones contacting me when they have time. I'm just saying it's unfortunate when I do hang out with them, they are husks of the people they once were and are kind of boring.

I of course don't tell them that, but I'm posting my inner thoughts on an internet forum to get them out and discuss them

What did you used to talk about with these friends when they didn't have babies?

I agree with charlequin and TickleMeElbow and others that some of those people were probably boring people to begin with. Or maybe you're a boring conversational partner. Conversation is a two way street you know.

 

[jb1234]

You don't think it's delusional that they've convinced themselves that making family breakfast Sunday morning is the most fun ever?

Depends on your definition of fun, I guess. I personally find spending time and doing things for loved ones more fulfilling than random barhopping. The rewards last much longer and it actually matters at the end of the day.

 

[The Shadow]

What did you used to talk about with these friends when they didn't have babies?

I agree with charlequin and TickleMeElbow and others that some of those people were probably boring people to begin with. Or maybe you're a boring conversational partner. Conversation is a two way street you know.

I also tend to have things planned for me by people on moments notice (girlfriend especially) so rare I make plans.

He doesn't sound particularly interesting.

 

[teruterubozu]

I also tend to have things planned for me by people on moments notice (girlfriend especially) so rare I make plans.

You sound like a blast.

 

[Yasae]

I'll keep up on messaging them but I don't invite them out to things. I learned not to bother when some of my old friends started to have kids. I also tend to have things planned for me by people on moments notice (girlfriend especially) so rare I make plans.

So when you gonna poke her for real and delete this thread?

 

[pigeon]

You don't think it's delusional that they've convinced themselves that making family breakfast Sunday morning is the most fun ever?

Like, you understand that there's no objective standard of enjoyment against which all activities can be measured to determine whether they are fun or boring, right?

 

[SystemBug]

But they are the ones inviting me out as I've given up.

The worst is when they ask me and gf over for some casual get together at someones house where they spent more time preparing the food when we could have done so much more fun things. So it's not just their stories but how they spend their free time. It's like they lost the ability to have fun.

They haven't lost their ability to have fun, they just don't have the energy.

 

[IconGrist]

I don't know if this was brought up and I'm not going to read through the entire thread to find out but exhaustion is a big thing. I got 2 kids who on their own have 5x the amount of energy I have. Together they wear me out pretty hard. Sitting down to a boring ass lunch talking about TV shows sounds like a damn good time. By the end of the day I'm spent and there's no way I'm going to want to go out and get nuts when I have to do that marathon again the next day. And the next. And the next. If I call a friend to go out its just to get me out of the house and away from the kids to recharge my mental batteries.

EDIT: LOL, basically right above me.

 

[Tabris]

I don't know if this was brought up and I'm not going to read through the entire thread to find out but exhaustion is a big thing. I got 2 kids who on their own have 5x the amount of energy I have. Together they wear me out pretty hard. Sitting down to a boring ass lunch talking about TV shows sounds like a damn good time. By the end of the day I'm spent and there's no way I'm going to want to go out and get nuts when I have to do that marathon again the next day. And the next. And the next. If I call a friend to go out its just to get me out of the house and away from the kids to recharge my mental batteries.

So you have no interest in being with the friend and you're just using them as a quick escape. We're not here to dance for you!

So when you gonna poke her for real and delete this thread?

Neither of us are interested in having kids right now. Rather just do fun things. I try to live my life as much as possible in the immortal words of Kanye West, "Because my life is dope and I do dope shit". Still have a ways to go but it's good words to strive for!

 

[MrGerbils]

You don't think it's delusional that they've convinced themselves that making family breakfast Sunday morning is the most fun ever?

I'm very curious to hear some specific examples of things that are worth talking about that you don't think are boring and the things you think are fun.

Are you really regularly doing life changing things, or are your fun stories things like, "remember when we got kicked out of that club!" or "remember when you puked on the beer pong table!"

 

[Tabris]

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

 

[jb1234]

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

A story I'm sure he'll be telling his kids some day.

 

[IconGrist]

So you have no interest in being with the friend and you're just using them as a quick escape. We're not here to dance for you!

Well 1, your whole viewpoint is that the parent friend should be around to dance for you so let's not act like you're the victim. 2, if I call a friend to hang out it's because I enjoy being in the company of that person. You don't seem to take that into account and instead talk shit about these people to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

 

[Chips Fission]

I'm very curious to hear some specific examples of things that are worth talking about that you don't think are boring and the things you think are fun.

Are you really regularly doing life changing things, or are your fun stories things like, "remember when we got kicked out of that club!" or "remember when you puked on the beer pong table!"

I hate this so much. I like to drink every now and then, have a real good time. It only irritates me when people reminisce some epic weekend over and over again, it was fun weekend, but it was just another drunken weekend. Also, one upping another persons drunk stories is in top 5 of boring things people can do.

All the stoners I know are much like that. They only seem to talk about how high they are going to get or how high they were that one time.

 

[Nocebo]

I'm very curious to hear some specific examples of things that are worth talking about that you don't think are boring and the things you think are fun.

Are you really regularly doing life changing things, or are your fun stories things like, "remember when we got kicked out of that club!" or "remember when you puked on the beer pong table!"

It doesn't seem like Tabris is interested in giving examples of what he thinks is not boring conversation.

 

[Messofanego]

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

Wow, drunk and puking is your most exciting story. What a riveting life you lead.

 

[The Libertine]

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

Woah! Step back everyone, we have a wild one right here. Is this really your idea of a crazy night out?

 

[FortuneFaded]

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

Sounds just like looking after a young child (minus the drinking of course).

 

[mrkgoo]

Sounds just like looking after a young child (minus the drinking of course).

I was gonna say.... This story isn't too far from somebody he stories I have of raising kids.

Except I consider it the bad parts of that, not the fun parts.

 

[Tabris]

It doesn't seem like Tabris is interested in giving examples of what he thinks is not boring conversation.

I already posted it.

To answer your question directly though, there is no set framework for what I talk about. I talk about what's interesting, what's happened, what's going on (everyone can use a bit of Marvin Gaye). Talk about love, work, and life. You have a set thing you talk about?

Also once again, nitpicking an example I gave to deflect the actual topic on hand - new parents are boring people.

 

[Firestorm]

This thread made so much more sense when I saw who posted it.

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

You do realize this isn't interesting to anybody who wasn't there with you right? Especially to anyone in their late 20s or beyond. I'm not married nor do I have kids and I'd still rather listen to a friend talk about their damn kids than generic drinking story #428.

 

[Bebpo]

Go make children. You're a human, thats what we do.

We also kill each other, but you don't see people saying to do that.


The only thing humans actually do is die. Everything else is optional in life. People should do what they want. Have kids, not have kids, change life priorities. Whatever makes you happy. Life's short and you're gonna die. Don't waste it on what makes you unhappy.

 

[Blackthorn]

I do have a story of someone who puked in a graveyard on the way from the restaurant to the club when he asked the taxi to pull over, behind the lounge chair he was sitting in at the club, and finally back into his drink lol before he was taken home.

 

[Gravy Boat]

How close were the two of you to begin with? If one of my close friends did that I would probably cut them some slack and see if they needed my help in anyway or drop by with coffee and snacks.
Maybe they are just overwhelmed.

Yeah, if they were good friends it's weird that his attitude was 'Oh, they didn't bother to send me a text, well I'll just never speak to them again'.

 

[Frodo]

This thread needs a title change

Why are you so defensive? (to new parents and people who don't want kids)

 

[Tabris]

Do you like Huey Lewis and the news?

You know I actually found out something lately - that teacher in back to the future that told Marty he was just too loud - that was Huey!

 

[KooopaKid]

This thread needs a title change

Why are you so defensive? (to new parents and people who don't want kids)

Both side trying to justify their lifestyle and pretending they are not missing on anything.

 

[Laieon]

If they suck why even accept the plans? Go to Vegas instead

Vegas sounds boring.

 

[Gravy Boat]

It's how their activity interests change: dinner parties, game nights, and other boring shit. It's like there's some social convention that when you have children you can only plan these kind of events even though they take the same amount of time (or more for the person who has to slave over some dinner). Me and my girlfriend have been invited to a decent amount of these and it's so boring.

What's wrong with game nights? I've been getting together with friends to play games (board and video) for years, and will continue to do so. If you want excitement, play some Risk with good friends and alcohol.

 

[Tabris]

Vegas sounds boring.

Since people on complaining about not giving examples. Example Vegas trip:

- Get to the airport Friday morning and grab breakfast there.
- Enjoy some mimosa's on the flight.
- Arrive and check in the hotel, usually somewhere like MGM Grand.
- Get some shopping done, maybe pick up new sunglasses as the weather is amazing.
- Grab some lunch at a place like BURGR
- Head to Wet Republic (pool bar) which usually has some awesome DJ playing. Plus I absolutely love the concept of a pool bar.
- Go back up to your room to get changed into nice formal wear, maybe a suit (gotta suit up in Vegas in my opinion but some people don't like wearing suits).
- Go to see Zumanity by Cirque Du Soleil
- Go get dinner at Nobu which is De Niro's Japanese fusion restaurant and is amazing.
- Hopefully you've added some new people to your entourage during Wet Republic or between clubs so you're getting to hear and participate in a lot of new and interesting conversations.
- Club hop between places like Marquee and Hyde Bellagio
- Somewhere in between probably played some blackjack or craps and maybe won some money.
- Go back to your hotel room and have sex with your girlfriend.
- Fall asleep.
- Repeat same kind of schedule with mixed up people, venues, and events (maybe a different kind of show, or maybe rides at places like stratosphere)
- Fly back home Sunday morning. Hopefully early enough that you can just relax back to watch NFL games (or late enough that you can watch the NFL games at a bar while playing video poker chatting with your buddies). And then finish up chilling out and playing some video games that Sunday night.

All of the above occurred a couple blocks from each other.

Highlights described in this thread by parents:

- Watch some kids run around on a soccer field
- Fix things around the house
- Smoke a brisket
- Make breakfast for the family Sunday morning

 

[mrklaw]

Let's be honest, the last thing a married guy with kids wants to do after working all day and taking care of his kids is sit at a bar and listen to you talking about fucking some 20yr old girl.

Besides, what the hell do you consider fun OP... because at a certain point you grow up and realize closing down the bars is an expensive waste of time.

Isn't the point that a proper, lasting friendship should flex to accommodate changing times and priorities? Maybe you find my family boring, maybe I find your talk of shagging 20yr olds boring. Let's talk about something else then, or accept a little boring because we don't have to agree with each other's lifestyle, we can just listen.

 

[Tabris]

Once again, I'm not telling them they are boring. I'm venting my inner thoughts online so I don't vent on them

 

[mrklaw]

Since people on complaining about not giving examples. Example Vegas trip:

- Get to the airport Friday morning and grab breakfast there.
- Enjoy some mimosa's on the flight.
- Arrive and check in the hotel, usually somewhere like MGM Grand.
- Get some shopping done, maybe pick up new sunglasses as the weather is amazing.
- Head to Wet Republic (pool bar) which usually has some awesome DJ playing. Plus I absolutely love the concept of a pool bar.
- Go back up to your room to get changed into nice formal wear, maybe a suit (gotta suit up in Vegas in my opinion but some people don't like wearing suits).
- Go to see Zumanity by Cirque Du Soleil
- Go get dinner at Nobu which is De Niro's Japanese fusion restaurant and is amazing.
- Hopefully you've added some new people to your entourage during Wet Republic or between clubs so you're getting to hear and participate in a lot of new and interesting conversations.
- Club hop between places like Marquee and Hyde Bellagio
- Somewhere in between probably played some blackjack or craps and maybe won some money.
- Go back to your hotel room and have sex with your girlfriend.
- Fall asleep.

All of the above occurred a couple blocks from each other.

Highlights described in this thread by parents:

- Watch some kids run around on a soccer field
- Fix things around the house
- Smoke a brisket
- Make breakfast for the family Sunday morning

You really want someone to do the opposite and write four bullet points describing Vegas as boring? We get it, you find it boring when people talk about family stuff. Can you honestly not read between the lines and imagine the pride felt when their child scores a goal, or the tranquility of a quiet weekend breakfast surrounded by your loved ones?

Also so what? If your friends are with you, maybe it's their one night out that month and they are choosing to spend it with you. Be a little more gracious and just annoy your time with them. Look at the upside - at least when the night is over you'll be back to banging 20-somethings while drinking mimosas at the pool, and those schmucks will be wiping snot off snivelling kids faces. What losers.

 

[mrklaw]

Once again, I'm not telling them they are boring. I'm venting my inner thoughts online so I don't vent on them

That part is fine. In that case I apologise because I get that from the wife all the time. "Stop trying to fix it, I'm just venting. Shut the fuck up and just listen"

You have to have realised that posting in a forum would get a response though?

 

[Trident]

Since people on complaining about not giving examples. Example Vegas trip:

- Get to the airport Friday morning and grab breakfast there.
- Enjoy some mimosa's on the flight.
- Arrive and check in the hotel, usually somewhere like MGM Grand.
- Get some shopping done, maybe pick up new sunglasses as the weather is amazing.
- Grab some lunch at a place like BURGR
- Head to Wet Republic (pool bar) which usually has some awesome DJ playing. Plus I absolutely love the concept of a pool bar.
- Go back up to your room to get changed into nice formal wear, maybe a suit (gotta suit up in Vegas in my opinion but some people don't like wearing suits).
- Go to see Zumanity by Cirque Du Soleil
- Go get dinner at Nobu which is De Niro's Japanese fusion restaurant and is amazing.
- Hopefully you've added some new people to your entourage during Wet Republic or between clubs so you're getting to hear and participate in a lot of new and interesting conversations.
- Club hop between places like Marquee and Hyde Bellagio
- Somewhere in between probably played some blackjack or craps and maybe won some money.
- Go back to your hotel room and have sex with your girlfriend.
- Fall asleep.
- Repeat same kind of schedule with mixed up people, venues, and events (maybe a different kind of show, or maybe rides at places like stratosphere)
- Fly back home Sunday morning.

All of the above occurred a couple blocks from each other.

Highlights described in this thread by parents:

- Watch some kids run around on a soccer field
- Fix things around the house
- Smoke a brisket
- Make breakfast for the family Sunday morning

I love a good Tabris troll thread.

Anyway, I'm also in my early 30s and by this age, most of us from metropolitan areas have done that Vegas party life plenty by this point. It's fun and exciting, but not every type of joy is bombastic, and bombastic joys aren't always the deepest or longest lasting.

You're in sales, which means you have a particular personality type that most people don't have. You're probably an extreme extrovert, which means you get energy from other people. You probably also have a naturally low adrenaline level, which means you have to seek it out in activities. You also definitely have a love of brand and appearance, which isn't going to be satisfied with personal, familial activities.

Other people are different, or they move into different phases. As we get older, most of us enjoy the big night out less and less, or at least less frequently. I used to want to go big every weekend, now I'd much rather smoke a brisket 9 out of 10 opportunities.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Since people on complaining about not giving examples. Example Vegas trip:

- Get to the airport Friday morning and grab breakfast there.
- Enjoy some mimosa's on the flight.
- Arrive and check in the hotel, usually somewhere like MGM Grand.
- Get some shopping done, maybe pick up new sunglasses as the weather is amazing.
- Grab some lunch at a place like BURGR
- Head to Wet Republic (pool bar) which usually has some awesome DJ playing. Plus I absolutely love the concept of a pool bar.
- Go back up to your room to get changed into nice formal wear, maybe a suit (gotta suit up in Vegas in my opinion but some people don't like wearing suits).
- Go to see Zumanity by Cirque Du Soleil
- Go get dinner at Nobu which is De Niro's Japanese fusion restaurant and is amazing.
- Hopefully you've added some new people to your entourage during Wet Republic or between clubs so you're getting to hear and participate in a lot of new and interesting conversations.
- Club hop between places like Marquee and Hyde Bellagio
- Somewhere in between probably played some blackjack or craps and maybe won some money.
- Go back to your hotel room and have sex with your girlfriend.
- Fall asleep.
- Repeat same kind of schedule with mixed up people, venues, and events (maybe a different kind of show, or maybe rides at places like stratosphere)
- Fly back home Sunday morning. Hopefully early enough that you can just relax back to watch NFL games (or late enough that you can watch the NFL games at a bar while playing video poker chatting with your buddies). And then finish up chilling out and playing some video games that Sunday night.

All of the above occurred a couple blocks from each other.

Highlights described in this thread by parents:

- Watch some kids run around on a soccer field
- Fix things around the house
- Smoke a brisket
- Make breakfast for the family Sunday morning

I don't understand, none of the above post has anything to do with wether or not you're a parent. You can be a parent and go to Vegas. You can not have kids and smoke a brisket.

What are your opinions on poor people? Or people who can't take time off work at the drop of a hat? Are they boring too? Because none of what you've said here is strictly limited to parents, so I'm not sure why you've tried to make them the focus of the thread.

 

[numble]

Since people on complaining about not giving examples. Example Vegas trip:

- Get to the airport Friday morning and grab breakfast there.
- Enjoy some mimosa's on the flight.
- Arrive and check in the hotel, usually somewhere like MGM Grand.
- Get some shopping done, maybe pick up new sunglasses as the weather is amazing.
- Grab some lunch at a place like BURGR
- Head to Wet Republic (pool bar) which usually has some awesome DJ playing. Plus I absolutely love the concept of a pool bar.
- Go back up to your room to get changed into nice formal wear, maybe a suit (gotta suit up in Vegas in my opinion but some people don't like wearing suits).
- Go to see Zumanity by Cirque Du Soleil
- Go get dinner at Nobu which is De Niro's Japanese fusion restaurant and is amazing.
- Hopefully you've added some new people to your entourage during Wet Republic or between clubs so you're getting to hear and participate in a lot of new and interesting conversations.
- Club hop between places like Marquee and Hyde Bellagio
- Somewhere in between probably played some blackjack or craps and maybe won some money.
- Go back to your hotel room and have sex with your girlfriend.
- Fall asleep.
- Repeat same kind of schedule with mixed up people, venues, and events (maybe a different kind of show, or maybe rides at places like stratosphere)

All of the above occurred a couple blocks from each other.

I don't think unplanned Vegas trips with the above activities are a regular occurrence with non-parents. Why are non-parents so boring?!

 

[SirJackDaniels]

A friend of mine cant wait until his kid gets born next week. Reason: so we can safely get some drinks, do some weed and hit some bars

He cant risk it with his wife going into labor any sec now.

 

[freenudemacusers]

Vegas clubs are fun maybe once, even XS, but my god the music suxxxxxx.

 

[Tabris]

I don't think unplanned Vegas trips with the above activities are a regular occurrence with non-parents. Why are non-parents so boring?!

Well it's not like a regular occurrence for me either, maybe twice a year. But that was in response to people saying Las Vegas is boring. But yes, it's not the new parents that are joining us in Vegas.

 

[Gravy Boat]

Well it's not like a regular occurrence for me either, maybe twice a year. But that was in response to people saying Las Vegas is boring. But yes, it's not the new parents that are joining us in Vegas.

Are the poor people or the people who can't take any time they want off work joining you? They sound boring too.