So, this is going to be another one of those I have a weird kink type of confession.
I am a 25 years old male and I would consider myself to be heterosexual since I feel attraction towards ladies and not towards men.
that is, for one exception : myself (cue the myownclone.jpg and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the lambs references)
So, I guess I'm narcissistic, not in the I am in love with my person definition but the auto-erotic one, and in a specific way: when I face my reflection on the mirror, I actually don't feel a thing. I don't consider myself repulsive but not super attractive either. Then I turn around, check out my backside and it turns me on. Yes, you read that right : I get aroused by looking at my buttocks. It makes my heart race and it's only a matter of time before I end up masturbating while having sexual fantasies of having sex with a clone of myself.
So how did it started? During my mid to late teenage-hood, my masturbation sessions were started by looking at ladies wearing sexy lingerie in the underwear section of some catalogs. My imagination would then relay to sometimes strange sexual fantasies. One in particular involved a lady wearing black colored underwear that would keep her asleep, then I would basically cop a feel before undressing her to wake her up, then it gets sensual and you get the picture. Then at one point I imagined the same scenario but with a role reversal : I would be the one kept asleep by my underwear then getting caressed and undressed by a lady. But suddenly this mental picture of myself with a G-String became weirdly arousing to me; I was confused and I looked at myself in the mirror just like I described earlier... and that how it started.
From there I started developing weird fantasies about this, just by looking at my buttocks. My very first one was some kind of infiltration scenario thing, a bit like in Metal Gear Solid (NeoGaf is gonna have a field day with this), except instead of armed guards patrolling around, there are clones of me, with nothing but a thong on them. I would sneak up behind one and neutralize him. How? CQC? Choke-hold? No, it's less violent. Tranquilizer? Well, the end result is similar but no: I would just strip him naked. What? Yes, just pull his thong and the clone would fall unconscious (weird, I told you). I would then fondle his buttocks before moving on. This scene repeated in my head until, well, coitus happened.
Describing all my fantasies involving a clone (or clones) of myself would take too long but early on, they just revolved around me being able to look at a clone's buttocks and fondling them because I kept finding mines attractive. Those fantasies gradually evolved over time: on other scenarios the clones would no longer be hostile, then a clone could be stripped without passing out, then it was back to the infiltration thing with a twist: the clone guards are already naked. So how do I neutralize one? Anal penetration (super weird I know).It was my first sexual fantasy where I would imagine myself having sexual intercourse with a clone of myself. At the end the clones in those fantasies would no longer have a fainting flaw and the sex scenes in my head were much more sensual.
I got such a fixation on the clone of myself wearing a G-String in those fantasies that I even considered at one point ordering a thong online, to see how it would actually looked like on myself, but I didn't acted on it because I still live at my parents and the delivery would be a very embarrassing situation.
Now don't get me wrong : I don't obsess over it all the time, I have other sources of sexual fantasies as well but even today, at times, I wonder what it would be like if there was a clone of myself, being able to check out and explore each other, and it makes me hard. Then I wonder if there is an underlying reason behind that kink, something beyond 'I just find the shape of my buttocks attractive. Maybe I'm just over-analyzing.
So why did I confessed about this? This kink is something I kept for myself because I feel like this is something no one in my entourage need to know about (be it friends or relatives) and if I did tell someone, I fear it would just end up in awkwardness and embarrassment. Yet, sometimes I still felt like airing it out somewhere, I ended up seeing this thread and decided to do it. Maybe there are better places for this, maybe I said too much, but at least I can tell myself Well at least I talked about it somewhere.
