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[SmackAttack]

We've got a man who went on The /Filmcast, a popular movie podcast, and found erotic slashfiction written about the three co-hosts, and then proceeded to read it aloud to them as they awkwardly giggled and groaned.

This is the man directing the next Star Wars film and it will be glorious.

I know this was two pages back but I can't believe someone brought this up. That one was gold.

 

[Salsa]

keep that hack away

 

[FloatOn]

remember when that rumor came up of Zack Snyder directing some stand alone samurai inspired jedi movie

sucker punch x star wars would fucking suck

like real bad

 

[Henkka]

I feel like they'll kind of have to - she practically seems to be built up as this trilogy's Yoda (sort of). There's too many things that she'll need to answer, such as where she found Luke's lightsaber.

I doubt it... She definitely was a nod to Yoda in this movie. A small, elderly alien who teaches the protagonist about the force in the second act of the movie. In some ways, TFA is a remake of the entire OT, condensed into one movie.

But Luke will handle the actual training, so there's no need for Maz in the following films. I doubt they will explain the lightsaber in more than one sentence, if at all.

 

[sphagnum]

Maz will probably pop up in the Han Solo anthology movie.

 

[Starsailor]

THIS video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh82ahIaNlE

From 47sec to 53 sec... it's absolutely powerful , incredible. It's like the dark side himself and the good side are REALLY fighting , more than "characters".

And star wars NEVER feel me this , NEVER because Luke want to save his father like Obi-wan wants to save him.


THIS fight is TRULY Good VS Evil in star wars, for the first time. Like... Link VS Ganon or something like that!

 

[FloatOn]

I doubt it... She definitely was a nod to Yoda in this movie. A small, elderly alien who teaches the protagonist about the force in the second act of the movie. In some ways, TFA is a remake of the entire OT, condensed into one movie.

But Luke will handle the actual training, so there's no need for Maz in the following films. I doubt they will explain the lightsaber in more than one sentence, if at all.

I like how Maz was all "we MUST fight back"

I see her leading a rag tag band of space pirates to help the resistance and it fucking rules. I want more of those wild aliens in my star wars

 

[DiipuSurotu]

Also, just for the sake of bringing up alt-universe Star Wars directors, Lucas asked Spielberg, Zemeckis, and Ron Howard to direct TPM and they all turned him down.

Just remember this the next time you think that Lucas is a power hungry individual who didn't want anyone else to challenge him on the prequels.

Well, that was before the dark times. Everyone had faith in Lucas back then, including these famous directors.

 

[BruceLeeRoy]

Random thought but the Batman vs Superman trailer came up before TFA.
Lordy that movie is going to suck

 

[Kor of Memory]

lol

Obi-Wan: You seem a little on edge.
Anakin: Not at all.
Obi-Wan: I haven't felt you this tense since we fell into that nest of gundarks.
Anakin: You fell into that nightmare, Master... and I rescued you, remember?
Obi-Wan: Oh, yes.

FRANDSHIP

I actually really liked this exchange. Once they're done speaking they look at each other like friends do who poke fun at each other. They smirk like they were cracking jokes, and it's the only part of the whole PT that makes you feel like Anakin and Obi-wan were actually friends.

The Padme enters and Anakin goes to shit.

 

[Salsa]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

 

[Bobby Roberts]

I like how Maz was all "we MUST fight back"

I see her leading a rag tag band of space pirates to help the resistance and it fucking rules. I want more of those wild aliens in my star wars

"I like that Wookiee."

 

[Blader]

I don't disagree with anything you say (except Fincher above Rian). Agreed that Fincher gets slapped on a bunch of dumb shit, but I think, particularly after seeing the spectacular misfire that was Benjamin Button, that a Star Wars films is the last thing that would really challenge him as a director and force him out of his comfort zone. So I probably approach that from the opposite perspective of everyone else.

I don't think it's so much of a comfort zone thing as a lot of shit you have to put up with as a blockbuster director (especially a Star Wars director) that he wouldn't put up with. Like, just the fact that Star Wars merchandise exists and that there are toys made out of the movies would be probably enough to deter him from ever doing it. :lol

He's also, by all accounts, not easy for studios and producers to get along with, so I can't imagine Lucasfilm/Disney wanting him anyway.

 

[FloatOn]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

could be cool man

it'll show Han doing the Finn thing and defecting from being a storm trooper. Meeting Lando. Winning the Falcon. Getting in debt with Jabba. The whole shebang

 

[BruceLeeRoy]

I actually really liked this exchange. Once they're done speaking they look at each other like friends do who poke fun at each other. They smirk like they were cracking jokes, and it's the only part of the whole PT that makes you feel like Anakin and Obi-wan were actually friends.

The Padme enters and Anakin goes to shit.

That part gave me a bit of anxiety it was so awkward. My awkward sensor couldn't even handle how terrible the dialogue and exchange was between them.

 

[Figboy79]

I can't speak for all the people entertaining alternate theories, but it's not that I don't think she's a Skywalker. She almost certainly is. It's more than I don't understand why they would cloak it in secrecy when it's such a painfully easy conclusion to jump to that any small child could do it. Why even bother? Virtually no one would be surprised by that reveal and it seems like the point of hiding such a thing from the audience would be to give us a shock when it's discovered.

It could still be a surprise for the character, but if that is their intent, I would've preferred it if the audience was somehow informed in this film. Hiding it when the answer is the obvious one can only do one thing in this environment: induce endless speculation that will end up leading to a portion of the audience being unsatisfied when it's just the obvious thing anyway.

I think there's another reason beyond "shock value" that we would not be told Rey is Luke's daughter in this movie. The structure of the film is set up so that the plot of the movie (finding Luke Skywalker), isn't resolved until the end of the movie. Until the pressing conflict between the Resistance and First Order is concluded (destruction of Starkiller base). If Luke appears earlier in the film, sure, we can finally lean who Rey's parents are, but it would also undermine her character's arc of embracing her destiny, because Luke could just step in and wreck Kylo, saving the day. That's just sloppy character development for our new heroine.

Rey needs to hear from Luke first hand that she is his daughter, because discovering that truth will lead to a ton of questions that only Luke could and should have the answers to. But because he isn't found until the end of the movie, we'll have to wait for those answers.

I can imagine the truth being revealed in another vision sequence, where we see a youngish Luke instructing and training Rey when she was a little girl (probably usin some de-aging visual effects like they did with Michael Douglas in Ant-Man, hence the photos of Hamil a few months back with a fairly shaved face in Ireland; or was it Scottland? I can't remember), and we see her birth, some glimpses of her training, the academy attack, her memories being blocked, and her being left on Jakku in the care of someone trustworthy.

I don't think Rey was abandoned at all. I don't think she was left all alone. She more than likely had a guardian, and that guardian probably died/was killed when Rey was a teen, and she's been forced to survive on her own, with know known way to contact and inform Luke or anyone of her need for help. She hears stories of the Jedi and Han from various people that come passing theory the settlement. She remembers being left behind in the care of a stranger. She was under the impression that they'd come back for her. Those memories weren't blocked.

I think her comments about her identity being secret and classified were just her being dryly humorous about her predicament. She has no idea who she is, but then the force starts to move in her life, awakening within her, and latent ability in the force starts to emerge throughout the movie.

It's been shown throughout the entire 6 films that Skywalkers are gifted pilots and tech heads. From Anakin to Luke, they know some shit about tinkering and flying. Rey isn't Luke or Anakin 2.0, but she is definitely a Skywalker if her natural talent in the force, and skills with piloting are any indication. Her combat abilities were a result of her having to survive a harsh environment on her own. I think she's a very well constructed character. Her skills are more than acceptable, even her Force abilities when they finally start to overtly manifest.

Snoke says there's been an awakening in the force. The force is actively moving things into motion. Rey, as a Skywalker, has a natural affinity for accessing the Force. This, combined with her natural talents of piloting and scavenging and combat, makes her a very different character than Luke Skywalker, and even Anakin. Running from her destiny also sets her apart from her father and grandfather. Luke wanted to be a Jedi like her dad. Rey just wants to be reunited with her family. Circumstances out of her control (I'm fine with saying The Force manipulated thise circumstances) have her thrust into a path of discovery and acceptance of her destiny.

She's as much of a reluctant hero as Finn is, she just happens to be that reluctant hero that has such a natural aptitude for heroics. It's like the one guy/gal who we know that's so amazingly good at something, but has no inclination to pursue that line of advancement (I knew this guy who was an amazing artist. He even got a scholarship to an art college. He ended up dropping out and becoming an accountant because he didn't want to pursue a career in art, despite him being an insane artist. As an artist myself, I admit that I was envious and jealous, because I DID want to pursue a career in art, and would have killed at the chance to get a scholarship for art, but alas, I wasn't as good as him, but i digress...).

Rey's arc, if she is indeed a Skywalker, which I think she is, is going to be very interesting to follow. Kylo is also a Skywalker, so it could be great to see their dual journeys along their paths. He's going to become more dangerous than Vader, while she is going to become a powerful light side user like Luke.

We've yet to see a truly powerful light side user in these movies. We've seen some pretty powerful dark side users, however.

 

[sphagnum]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

Kasdan has explained that it's not really an "origins" film.

 

[Henkka]

Is the Han Solo film supposed to happen before or after the OT?

Before the OT sounds like a terrible idea... Han's whole arc in ANH is about going from a selfish jerk to someone who wants to fight for a bigger cause.

So we're getting an entire movie of some random not-harrison-ford being a selfish jerk?

 

[Salsa]

could be cool man

it'll show Han doing the Finn thing and defecting from being a storm trooper. Meeting Lando. Winning the Falcon. Getting in debt with Jabba. The whole shebang

im already cringing at a Ryan Gosling type doing some classic Solo line in an audience wink

UGHHHH

Kasdan has explained that it's not really an "origins" film.

I don't even care. We know what age they're going for and Han Solo is Harrison Ford and now he's dead and that's it.

It's an iconic role. No one likes to see those recast, and there is no need for previous shenanigan adventures

 

[Inferno313]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

Yeah, but it's a Kasdan script and a Lord/Miller film so I'm sure it'll end up great.

 

[Azerare]

"You were the chosen one!" is pretty much the only line in the PT that actually felt like it had emotional weight to it. But man, that line was delivered perfectly.

I agree that definitely is the one line that resonates from the prequels. His other lines were okay, but they just weren't memorable as that one.

 

[DiipuSurotu]

When Han said "Don't stare. At anything.", I was expecting Maz to look huge and grotesque like Jabba the Hutt.

 

[shortsFortallPeople]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

hey, when it stinks we can all safely ignore it like we do with about half of the star wars movies already

 

[WadiumArcadium]

Kasdan has explained that it's not really an "origins" film.

Yep.

It will not be like here is where he was born and this is how he was raised. I think what it will be is what was he like ten years earlier, ya know maybe a little earlier you’ll get a glimpse but… what formed the person we meet in the cantina? It is not so much about his specific history. It is about what makes a person like that? He’s not full formed in the cantina! Kurosawa once said ‘the heroes are the ones that are still changing and the villains are locked and petrified into what they are’ and Harrison embodies in Force Awakens someone that’s still not settled on who he is.

I'm feeling more enthusiastic about it than I was when it was announced.

 

[VistraNorrez]

I actually really liked this exchange. Once they're done speaking they look at each other like friends do who poke fun at each other. They smirk like they were cracking jokes, and it's the only part of the whole PT that makes you feel like Anakin and Obi-wan were actually friends.

The Padme enters and Anakin goes to shit.

And if I remember correctly this scene was suggested by Spielberg (who also directed some animatic sequences for RotS).

 

[FloatOn]

im already cringing at a Ryan Gosling type doing some classic Solo line in an audience wink

UGHHHH



I don't even care. We know what age they're going for and Han Solo is Harrison Ford and now he's dead and that's it.

It's an iconic role. No one likes to see those recast, and there is no need for previous shenanigan adventures

if disney has half a brain they'll get this dude to play Han

 

[Salsa]

I love Lord/Miller and im sure it can end up being a funny space adventure film in which I'd wish they did an original character instead of Han Solo.

do y'all really wanna read the dialogue of like, Han meeting Chewie

being all fourth-wall-y and referential

cause they are not NOT doing that

 

[Kor of Memory]

That part gave me a bit of anxiety it was so awkward. My awkward sensor couldn't even handle how terrible the dialogue and exchange was between them.

I'm not sure how, but it's one of the few believable lines from Hayden that I actually believe from the PT.

Watch it again. Obi-Wan shows concern, Anakin tries to play it off and answers very dry, taking a quick jab at his friend with a "That's not how I remember it happening." type of answer.

And then they look at each other and laugh. Literally the only time I felt like they are/were comrades in the entire PT.

It just cuts to the next scene with Padme so quickly, and Anakin turns to shit so fast, that you forgot that small little exchange actually happens.

 

[Future PhaZe]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

i cant say im thrilled at all about another death star focused film either

yeesh

 

[Inferno313]

I still think it's hilarious that the canonical name of Kenobi's homeworld is an anagram on Jon Stewart's name.

 

[foxuzamaki]

"You were the chosen one!" is pretty much the only line in the PT that actually felt like it had emotional weight to it. But man, that line was delivered perfectly.

"You were my brother anakin....I loved you" still gets to me tbh

 

[Azerare]

I'm not sure how, but it's one of the few believable lines from Hayden that I actually believe from the PT.

Watch it again. Obi-Wan shows concern, Anakin tries to play it off and answers very dry, taking a quick jab at his friend with a "That's not how I remember it happening." type of answer.

And then they look at each other and laugh. Literally the only time I felt like they are/were comrades in the entire PT.

It just cuts to the next scene with Padme so quickly, and Anakin turns to shit so fast, that you forgot that small little exchange actually happens.

Luckily The Clones Wars tv series does a better job of fleshing out these characters and introducing Ahsoka.

 

[Kor of Memory]

And if I remember correctly this scene was suggested by Spielberg (who also directed some animatic sequences for RotS).

Really? Any idea of a source for that? I'd love to dig into it.

 

[Cth]

Ok I just saw it a second time and loved it even more.

There was also something new I noticed.

When Han and Kylo are on the bridge, Kylo has red light on him. Han also has some red light in his face, but also blue light coming from the back. The light then goes red when Kylo stabs him with his lightsaber.

Finally, Han falls down in the blue light.

So fucking good. Can't believe I missed that the first time.

Nice catch. There's already the light/dark imagery from the sun stuff...

But you can see Ben's face is half blue, half red when he gives his torn speech, until the outside goes dark and it goes fully red when he kills Han.

 

[Syder]

People love to hate the prequels but you can't fault the soundtrack.

I can't be the only one disappointed we didn't hear Duel Of The Fates or Battle Of The Heroes, can I?

 

[LegendofLex]

"You were my brother anakin....I loved you" still gets to me tbh

The line is pretty good, but the delivery isn't on point or anything compared to his "you were the chosen one" line.

I also had the same reaction to Hayden's first line. Gave me lots of hope for the character as well as for how Obi-Wan was going to be presented vs. his flat role in TPM. But it was literally the only not-terrible moment he had in the entire film.

 

[Kor of Memory]

Luckily The Clones Wars tv series does a better job of fleshing out these characters and introducing Ahsoka.

I just started watching these this week, so I'm only 10 episodes in. Suffice to say, so far, the Anakin on the cartoon is not the Anakin from the movies. He and Obi-Wan haven't' interacted very much to really sell me on any relationship.

 

[Salsa]

"You were my brother anakin....I loved you" still gets to me tbh

how does this get to you where there is no scene nor anything in the star wars saga to suggest they were friends, even moreso brothers?

Anakin is a fucking spoiled brat from the get go, and there is no friendhship between them, ever.

line fell flatter than flat

 

[Theodoricos]

People love to hate the prequels but you can't fault the soundtrack.

I can't be the only one disappointed we didn't hear Duel Of The Fates or Battle Of The Heroes, can I?

Those were made for their respective scenes, but reusing them would make them lose their impact.

Luke's theme on the other hand is iconic to the entire franchise and is more than appropriate, especially if Rey is his daughter.

 

[CrichtonKicks]

It's a good choice. Uninspired is maybe the wrong word. I guess my point is I could easily see it happening after Looper and JJ was signed on to Episode 7 because he appeals to science fiction fans.

For me, I just think approaching Star Wars, creatively, as a science fiction franchise never made much sense.

I like Rian. I even like Gareth!

This is absurd. Rian has mode one science fiction film. One. Bird has just as many to his credit and maybe more depending on how you want to classify Iron Giant and Incredibles.

Have you actually watched anything Johnson has done other than Looper? Because your whole argument seems predicated on "oh, it's the guy from Looper. I bet all of his stuff is like that." Have you see the Ozymandius episode of Breaking Bad?

Bird would have been a fine choice for SW but, on the basis of his live action output, I would not have traded him for Johnson (though I would happily take him over Trevorrow).

 

[GhaleonEB]

that young Han Solo movie is the worst idea Lucasfilm has ever had since the prequels

people complain about Ridley Scott doing the Alien creature origins

shit, I really, really don't need to see where Han Solo came from at all considering the type of character he is and how he works within the films, and I specially don't wanna see Star Wars Babies with another actor playing fucking Han Solo

what a god damn terrible idea, I still can't get over it

Wait, what is this? They're recasting a younger Solo for a prequel?

What in the actual fuck.

 

[Azerare]

I just started watching these this week, so I'm only 10 episodes in. Suffice to say, so far, the Anakin on the cartoon is not the Anakin from the movies. He and Obi-Wan haven't' interacted very much to really sell me on any relationship.

Season 2 is where the show actually gets traction. Over the whole series you get a more believable relationship than what the movies present.

 

[liquidtmd]

I was excited about Rogue One...until I saw TFA, which I loved but it really killed the need for MOAR Death Star.

With a few tweaks Death Star 3 could have been wiped from TFA and made it a better film for me. And now were faced with it again.

And fuck the Han Solo Prequel. I don't care if Kasdan is involved. Solo was Ford. And we just saw him die. I don't wanna see another actor running round as a kid pre-all the films events getting into scrapes and learning how he earned his stripes as a smuggler, or even witnessing the Kessel Run et al.

 

[CD'S BAR]

Also, David Fincher was in talks with LFL to direct Episode VII but he wanted to make it focused on R2 and 3PO moving from master to master and showing the folly of man or something like that and they...politely declined.

my god this could have been amazing. just along for the ride through this massive universe through the perspective of two helpless droids. basically what the first movie starts with.

 

[Boke1879]

I just started watching these this week, so I'm only 10 episodes in. Suffice to say, so far, the Anakin on the cartoon is not the Anakin from the movies. He and Obi-Wan haven't' interacted very much to really sell me on any relationship.

Only 5 episodes in but This version of Anakin is I think the tone they should have went with. He's a general, seems sure of himself but still defies his superiors but for what he perceives are good reasons.

 

[BFIB]

I just started watching these this week, so I'm only 10 episodes in. Suffice to say, so far, the Anakin on the cartoon is not the Anakin from the movies. He and Obi-Wan haven't' interacted very much to really sell me on any relationship.

Keep watching.

 

[Squire]

You all need to get on The Brothers Bloom train as fast as possible.

Yeah, I'm going to watch that soon.

 

[Branduil]

i cant say im thrilled at all about another death star focused film either

yeesh

I don't know, I think Rogue 1 has some potential. Just speculation, but if no one on the team has force powers and they have to go up against Vader, it could give the film a really interesting horror vibe. And I'm expecting most of the characters to die on the mission.

 

[Azerare]

I was excited about Rogue One...until I saw TFA, which I loved but it really killed the need for MOAR Death Star.

With a few tweaks Death Star 3 could have been wiped from TFA and made it a better film for me. And now were faced with it again.

And fuck the Han Solo Prequel. I don't care if Kasdan is involved. Solo was Ford. And we just saw him die. I don't wanna see another actor running round as a kid pre-all the films events getting into scrapes and learning how he earned his stripes as a smuggler, or even witnessing the Kessel Run et al.

I wanna see the Kessel run get done in 14 parsecs.

 

[Boke1879]

I don't know, I think Rogue 1 has some potential. Just speculation, but if no one on the team has force powers and they have to go up against Vader, it could give the film a really interesting horror vibe. And I'm expecting most of the characters to die on the mission.

All anyone needs is a hint of Vader returning to the part and people will line up for it.