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I'm 30 and have never moved out
- Thread starter cereal_killerxx
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Their input wouldn't be lost. It would however be easier to get their input while still living at home.
You are really making a mountain out of a mole hill here with the whole input track.
Lol
How often do you seek your parents input on critical issues? So often that a weekly visit, or a bi-weekly phone call wouldn't suffice? Come on bruh.
At some point you'll have to make real world decisions all by yourself without your parents input.
LyleLanley
Banned
Is a phone call or email too much trouble?
Northeastmonk
Gold Member
I pay around $350 a month plus $40 at some point for my phone (iPhone 6 on a family plan), I buy everything else, which I stated before. I'm not the main cook, but I do pay for groceries and I often buy dinner for everyone from a carry out place or pizza.
I really don't know much to say. My dad made good money when I lived with him and when he was alive. He made close to six digits at one point in time. My mom kinda struggled, so it's been a race back and forth with finances. She got remarried and well that's just that.
I get told that I should live this "Catcher in the Rye" sorta lifestyle. I should sorta seek things I could really careless about. I like my suburban utopia. I have no idea considering my dad was gone a lot and I enjoyed myself as a teen. I was out quite a bit.
I guess meeting my step made things weird because I sorta learned my lesson as a teen. As an adult it's like taking the blame, so when I move out it feels like I have all these stupid critics floating in my head. My mom is incredibly selfish, they're both like that, and I felt more comfortable dating when I was a teen.
I want to leave and I feel like I took on my mom's mentality of some controlling person telling her what to do.
I think it sucks when you go from living with one parent, where you got to date girls or have fun with friends, to being in a home as an adult with people who make you turn into the opposite. I feel like I had more freedoms as a minor than as a 30 year old.
I guess some people are okay with it, but for as much as I've spent, I could have probably had something much more satisfying had I just left town or joined the military at 19.
My mom and her new husband took on such a controlling attitude and told me that I wouldn't make it. Hell even my step told me that he hopes I fail.
I think he's just a random guy who wanted his wife to be his trophy wife. I think they had too much time to brainwash me. It literally feels like there's been some grooming over the years.
They're horrible at keeping money and the criticisms I receive are harsh considering I'm not this guy's son and all he does is talk bad about me from another room. I feel like some kid at some orphanage who got placed in with the wrong family.
My mom still has her Man/God fearing personality and it makes me wish I didn't live in such a conservative western state.
I can't help a guy who has issues with Vietnam or whatever he tells my mom and his drinking. My mom beats herself up (edited this because I love her). I'm sorta beside myself at times. I come here to get away when I'm not gaming.
I really don't know much to say. My dad made good money when I lived with him and when he was alive. He made close to six digits at one point in time. My mom kinda struggled, so it's been a race back and forth with finances. She got remarried and well that's just that.
I get told that I should live this "Catcher in the Rye" sorta lifestyle. I should sorta seek things I could really careless about. I like my suburban utopia. I have no idea considering my dad was gone a lot and I enjoyed myself as a teen. I was out quite a bit.
I guess meeting my step made things weird because I sorta learned my lesson as a teen. As an adult it's like taking the blame, so when I move out it feels like I have all these stupid critics floating in my head. My mom is incredibly selfish, they're both like that, and I felt more comfortable dating when I was a teen.
I want to leave and I feel like I took on my mom's mentality of some controlling person telling her what to do.
I think it sucks when you go from living with one parent, where you got to date girls or have fun with friends, to being in a home as an adult with people who make you turn into the opposite. I feel like I had more freedoms as a minor than as a 30 year old.
I guess some people are okay with it, but for as much as I've spent, I could have probably had something much more satisfying had I just left town or joined the military at 19.
My mom and her new husband took on such a controlling attitude and told me that I wouldn't make it. Hell even my step told me that he hopes I fail.
I think he's just a random guy who wanted his wife to be his trophy wife. I think they had too much time to brainwash me. It literally feels like there's been some grooming over the years.
They're horrible at keeping money and the criticisms I receive are harsh considering I'm not this guy's son and all he does is talk bad about me from another room. I feel like some kid at some orphanage who got placed in with the wrong family.
My mom still has her Man/God fearing personality and it makes me wish I didn't live in such a conservative western state.
I can't help a guy who has issues with Vietnam or whatever he tells my mom and his drinking. My mom beats herself up (edited this because I love her). I'm sorta beside myself at times. I come here to get away when I'm not gaming.
Like others have said, it depends on your situation and you have to do what is best for you.
I moved out just before turning 26. It was a really rushful decison on my part. I'm really happy that I did move though. Living with a friend of mine as a room mate.
It's sad to say, but I really do feel like after moving people at work started judging me differently in a more positive way. Definitely felt like there was a weight removed from my shoulders in that regard.
I had been thinking about this decision for a while of course, but one day i just started thinking to myself "it's now or never" and went on from there. Won't get into detail, but i just felt it was time, solid job with good money, and a close friend that needed my help, was about to get kicked out of where he was living. I just kinda felt like with that and other various factors that it was time to get out on my own. Can't get comfortable, never know where you will be in 3 years. Gotta move forward while you have the opportunity. I also figured that the sooner you make the change, the easier it is.
You just gotta do it when you feel the time is right, whatever works best for your situation. Like others have said, it's very rare that there will ever be an ideal situation. A big downside for me was not having my drivers license. In the end you just gotta go with what your gut instinct is telling you. For me the decision was definitely a big risk but it all worked out in the end, and I'm happy for the most part. Definitely prefer living on my own over living with my parents.
Another way to look at it, and this is indeed a way I looked at it for myself, is your parents won't be there forever.. sadly. Would you rather make the change earlier, or wait until they pass away and then have to transition to living on your own? I imagine waiting that long would be a lot harder.
I moved out just before turning 26. It was a really rushful decison on my part. I'm really happy that I did move though. Living with a friend of mine as a room mate.
It's sad to say, but I really do feel like after moving people at work started judging me differently in a more positive way. Definitely felt like there was a weight removed from my shoulders in that regard.
I had been thinking about this decision for a while of course, but one day i just started thinking to myself "it's now or never" and went on from there. Won't get into detail, but i just felt it was time, solid job with good money, and a close friend that needed my help, was about to get kicked out of where he was living. I just kinda felt like with that and other various factors that it was time to get out on my own. Can't get comfortable, never know where you will be in 3 years. Gotta move forward while you have the opportunity. I also figured that the sooner you make the change, the easier it is.
You just gotta do it when you feel the time is right, whatever works best for your situation. Like others have said, it's very rare that there will ever be an ideal situation. A big downside for me was not having my drivers license. In the end you just gotta go with what your gut instinct is telling you. For me the decision was definitely a big risk but it all worked out in the end, and I'm happy for the most part. Definitely prefer living on my own over living with my parents.
Another way to look at it, and this is indeed a way I looked at it for myself, is your parents won't be there forever.. sadly. Would you rather make the change earlier, or wait until they pass away and then have to transition to living on your own? I imagine waiting that long would be a lot harder.
And after that?
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but $12k is peanuts if you're 30 and have never paid rent.
Couple questions to OP:
what do you do? what kind of career opportunities (by which I mean income growth) are there for you in the near future?
where do you live? by which I mean what's the average rent like?
Leaving home just so you can "be a real man", only to end up broke and homeless is pointless, but there living at home forever stunts your maturity. Don't rush it, but make it your priority. Figure out how much recurring income you need, and do everything in your power to get to that level.
PeterLegend
Member
I'm 27 and I live with my parents. I help out with rent and bills, I live in SoCal btw so it's cheaper than renting a shitty apartment somewhere.
My parents don't have enough saved up to support themselves, they don't own a house so it feels like I'm stuck...
My parents don't have enough saved up to support themselves, they don't own a house so it feels like I'm stuck...
I wonder if there are studies done about the impact moving out at a young age has on the entire rest of your life, because I think it's bigger than many people think.
Being 30 fucking years old and still have zero actual adult life skills sounds like the absolute worst way to start off life. That's no way to develop as a person.
Being 30 fucking years old and still have zero actual adult life skills sounds like the absolute worst way to start off life. That's no way to develop as a person.
25 years old and just bought a house / moved out for the first time. I had about $35000 in the bank, most of which I spent on the downpayment. Obviously I owe a lot to my parents for not making me pay rent all these extra years. I guess that's what they call privilege.
So I didn't go to college until I was 22, and I honestly feel terrible about leeching off my parents during that time. I worked part time and stayed up all night playing video games for 4 straight years. I was just fucking worthless.
There are legitimate reasons for staying at home until your mid 20's, but as far as I'm concerned if you aren't working full time or going to school, then you are being lazy, plain and simple.
When my kids are 18 they will have 3 options:
1. Go to college
2. Work full time
3. Get out
I won't let them make the same mistakes I did.
So I didn't go to college until I was 22, and I honestly feel terrible about leeching off my parents during that time. I worked part time and stayed up all night playing video games for 4 straight years. I was just fucking worthless.
There are legitimate reasons for staying at home until your mid 20's, but as far as I'm concerned if you aren't working full time or going to school, then you are being lazy, plain and simple.
When my kids are 18 they will have 3 options:
1. Go to college
2. Work full time
3. Get out
I won't let them make the same mistakes I did.
March of the Crabs
Member
I'm 22 in college and living at home. I'll be 23 when I graduate and hope to move out after a year of working full-time after school and saving that money while I'm still at home. I like living at home as it's peaceful, safe, comfortable and my parents are genuinely my friends, but I'm scared to live here past 25 because there are so many adult skills I haven't developed while living here.
Staying at home later in life is becoming increasingly common though, at least where I live (Canada). Every single person I have ever talked to at school that is originally from my city (the city we attend school in) lives at home still. The only ones who don't are obviously the students from other cities, and they all struggle to make ends meet.
Staying at home later in life is becoming increasingly common though, at least where I live (Canada). Every single person I have ever talked to at school that is originally from my city (the city we attend school in) lives at home still. The only ones who don't are obviously the students from other cities, and they all struggle to make ends meet.
JimmyRustler
Member
Moved out last year with 28. Flats around here are extremely expensive and since I didn't have a girlfriend to live with, I had little interest in moving out.
Got a super cheap new flat though last year and took the chance immediately. I can only echo that living alone is the best thing ever.
Got a super cheap new flat though last year and took the chance immediately. I can only echo that living alone is the best thing ever.
Polioliolio
Member
It really sucks that 'getting by' isn't even an option at the above min. wage I make.
Which is why I'm going to be rooming with someone in a place where Internet isn't even available.. I want to be on my own but I'm not even close to being able to afford it.
Man this sucks..
Which is why I'm going to be rooming with someone in a place where Internet isn't even available.. I want to be on my own but I'm not even close to being able to afford it.
Man this sucks..
From age 12 my parents made it abundantly clear that I was going to be out the door after high school graduation. And I was. I didn't know anybody my age who hadn't moved out by age 20, but that was a different time with different opportunities. I know that's not the norm nowadays.
Your stepdad probably isn't a big fan of sharing his house with a 30 year old man that lacks the ambition to get his own life started.
Considering he's probably in his 50's or older, I can't blame him for feeling that way. He's on life's back nine and he probably just wants it to be him and his wife without any "kids" in the house.
Dr_Boris_Goltz
Banned
I'm turning 30 this year and I haven't moved out.
I contribute in a few ways so I don't feel too guilty, but I hate hate hate living here. HATE IT. I feel like I'm a slave to this family.
I'm just trying to get my mental health together then I'm going to start making progress toward a "real life" outside of this house.
Edit: I should mention I live in Southern California. It's not the easiest thing finding an affordable roof.
I contribute in a few ways so I don't feel too guilty, but I hate hate hate living here. HATE IT. I feel like I'm a slave to this family.
I'm just trying to get my mental health together then I'm going to start making progress toward a "real life" outside of this house.
Edit: I should mention I live in Southern California. It's not the easiest thing finding an affordable roof.
Or you just want to be independent...
I am, but for different reasons.
Renting is just wasted cash, so I'm saving up for a house. Simple as. It stems from a point in my childhood when we almost lost the house, so I want to be able to have as big a deposit for a house as possible so I don't have to worry about large mortgage payments.
I fully contribute to the household so it's not that much of an issue.
People say "Oh you'll have independence when you move out", but I have that anyway
LyleLanley
Banned
I'm surprised at how many people here seem to like the idea of staying at home until they're 30 just so they can buy their own place without ever renting.
What's wrong with that though? It's a more efficient way to do life.
Of course, if I met the girl of my dreams and she wanted to move in with me, then I'd happily move ahead of schedule but in the meantime doing the more practical thing seems more logical.
I consider moving out a part of growing up, standing on your own legs and learning to take care of yourself, so yeah I think it is very important to move out at around 20. I moved out my parents house at 21 and honestly think I should have done that 2-3 years earlier. Not because I had issues at home but because the skillset you learn taking care of yourself can't come soon enough. I'll turn 30 in a couple weeks
The financial hit is well worth it.
The financial hit is well worth it.
I think a lot of people in this thread are simply justifying their own decision to stay at home.
And frankly, if you haven't really left the nest and lived completely independent from your parents, you simply don't know what you are missing. Ignorance is bliss.
LyleLanley
Banned
Because your 20's shouldn't be just about living in the most efficient way possible.
That's the impression I'm getting.
Miles Quaritch
Member
You can't acquire life skills while living at home?
Miles Quaritch
Member
So you shouldn't use your peak years to make the rest of your life more comfortable?
LyleLanley
Banned
Hey man, if that's really what you want to do then more power to you I guess. But that seems like a depressing way to spend your youthful years to me. You can still live a comfortable life in the future without living with your parents until you're 30.
My youthful years aren't depressing because I haven't moved out though.
TickleMeElbow
Member
Meh. I think it depends on the situation.
There are cultures where generations of families live under the same roof at the same time. For example, in some cultures it's not unusual for the oldest son to stay at home, and when he gets married his wife moves in with his family. They have kids, and three generations end up living in the same home. I wouldn't say those people don't know how to take care of themselves, or aren't grown up. Everyone chips in one way or another, and live together as a bigass family unit.
Miles Quaritch
Member
You can also live a fulfilling life while living with your parents too. Many people do, but they also have the advantage of being set up sooner and being more stable thanks to staying at home for a little longer.
My parents died when I was young, so this is all based in what I've seen of friends. My girlfriend is 30 next month, she still lives at home as she's helping her mum pay the mortgage. Doesn't stop her from living, spending weekends with me or having fun and learning how to adult.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
I moved out at 19. It was amazing. Then due to circumstances I had to move back in at 24. It was dreadful. I'm still here 4 years later but in that time I have become more financially stable and am currently getting things together to build my first house. But dear god I can't wait to be out from this house. My parents and I see eye to eye on nothing. It's soul crushing.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Imagine where you'd be if you stayed at home for those five years first and then moved out...
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
It would be really hard to study because its culture specific. Anecdotes might be proving a confirmation bias.
There is something to be said of being independent, knowing how bills work, how budgeting is, but that's like a month or so.
There are so many "independent" adults who have no idea how to mange a bank or credit account, even investing, regardless of moving out at a young age.
I moved out after community college moved back after graduating and am now rooming with two of my brothers.
Also, a period where I was unemployed, I was taking my dad after having a second stroke and heart surgery. So fuck society for that being a negative and "doing nothing", or being a "loser".
You have no idea what their circumstances were...
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Much better off I have no doubt about that. I regret a lot of my choices when I was younger but I didn't have much of an option and had to move out. Those 5 years also messed up my study plans. Back on track now and everything is working out.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Can't have been so bad that they are comfortable moving back and staying there for four years.
Sounds like they bought into the idea of moving out as soon as you can and then hit the roadblock many people do and had to either suffer or do the sensible thing and move back home so they can establish themselves properly.
Fenderputty
Banned
35. Only reason I own in California was because I bought in 08/09 after the market bottomed.
I moved out at 25. Back in for a year to save for my first house at 28. Moved back in for a year to save, buy and remodel at 34.
Miles Quaritch
Member
No choice? Hmm, I won't pry but I guess that changes things somewhat then, you can't really do much in a scenario where you have no choice but to leave.
Baron Doggystyle von Woof
Member
It's OK OP. I was 25 when I moved out and lived poor first few years.
My advice: If you really want to make a living alone and get a better job. Move to a totally different city (after finding a job ofcourse).
This is what I did.
My advice: If you really want to make a living alone and get a better job. Move to a totally different city (after finding a job ofcourse).
This is what I did.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
Nope. Parents forced me out. I went back as I had literally no other choice post breakup with a guy. It has been dreadful for my mental health.
As stated above.
Crash Station
Member
Moved out 2 years ago at 26, bought my own house and got some roommates that were childhood/college friends. Some drama happened, they moved out and I moved back in with my parents while I'm renting my house and getting some decent passive income out of it.
And I'm totally fine with that.
As someone that's experienced both, I'd much rather live with my parents than alone. Depression is MUCH worse when you're living alone.
And I'm totally fine with that.
As someone that's experienced both, I'd much rather live with my parents than alone. Depression is MUCH worse when you're living alone.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Huh, weird they'd force you out but let you move back in. Parents can be weird like that I guess.
I don't know, I feel I'm coming at this from having mostly superficial experience of what it's like to have parents when you're older. My aunt and uncle are great, but they are extremely hands off and left me to my own devices when I turned 21. I only really see them every few months now.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
Just as poor as the op? He's 30 and still doesn't make enough to afford an apartment lol. 30 is 5-8 years of career development. Live with your parents all you want, but I'm not sure what you all are 'saving' when you guys are making salaries less than a 24 year old accountant. If you're a doctor living with your parents, bottoms up.
neurosyphilis
Definitely not an STD, as I'm a pure.
I'm 19 still live with my parents. Going to do 2 years at the community college and then transfer to UF in Gainesville live up there a bit and get my degree in Biology. Then move back home take the MCAT and DAT and apply to Medical School and Dental School, then I'm off to school for another 4 years hopefully UF again.
If you're in your 30's living with your parents it's weird, unless you lived on your own and moved back to save money for a new house or something.
If you're in your 30's living with your parents it's weird, unless you lived on your own and moved back to save money for a new house or something.
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