Crash Station
Member
Even if your budget is tight, move out. There is nothing better than living alone.
As someone that's experienced both, I can't disagree more. Everyone's circumstances are different.
Even if your budget is tight, move out. There is nothing better than living alone.
Just as poor as the op? He's 30 and still doesn't make enough to afford an apartment lol. 30 is 5-8 years of career development. Live with your parents all you want, but I'm not sure what you all are 'saving' when you guys are making salaries less than a 24 year old accountant. If you're a doctor living with your parents, bottoms up.
It's amazing when you and the GF have a day off together and do nothing but stay home and smash all day.
My questions for people who live at home are always:
1. Do you pay rent/utilities?
2. Do your parents make you meals everyday? Or do you cook sometimes for yourself/them?
3. Do you always do your own laundry?
living at home with 30 is definitely not doing fine, other people have been independent for 10 to 15 years at 30. You're totally limiting yourself, I would be downright embarrassed telling people I live with my Mommy at 30.
I couldn't take it anymore at 20, I also had to live with my sister in the same room though.
So to everyone who moved out at 18 or thereabouts. If you have kids, will you expect them to move out at 18 too? regardless of the reality of the situation they'll face with increasing rents, fewer jobs that pay less and generally less opportunities than we have right now?
yeah I love working some shitty dead end job with people I hate
then coming home to an empty apartment with no loved ones
then making my own dinner in silence, maybe with the tv on to fake human interaction
going to bed early so I can do it all over again the next day, day after day
id just put a bullet in my brain and save some time
To those that don't move out... how do you date?
If you and your parents can get along and they're fine with it, I guess I don't necessarily hold it against someone who's thirty and still lives at home.
It doesn't seem like a very pleasant life to me personally, but you're not hurting me, so do whatever you want.
I do think that some people who choose to stay with their parents are hurting themselves in the long run. I see a bunch of people talking about not moving out because then they'd be broke, and they prefer to live a nice lifestyle at home until such a time as they get a degree-oriented job and can transition to a nice lifestyle on their own.
I think it's good for you to be broke as shit in your twenties, living on your own. I think it teaches you a lot of valuable lessons you're not likely to get anywhere else. I think you do yourself a disservice relying on someone else until you can step gently off their boat onto your own. You're willingly passing up important life skills and emotional tools you'll likely need later down the line.
But, again, it's not really my business to direct someone else's life.
So to everyone who moved out at 18 or thereabouts. If you have kids, will you expect them to move out at 18 too? regardless of the reality of the situation they'll face with increasing rents, fewer jobs that pay less and generally less opportunities than we have right now?
Because parents are people, and a good amount of people like to have their privacy. Your mom and dad want to walk around naked and fuck in the kitchen but they can't because your 30 year old ass is sitting on the couch in your tighty whitey's drinking Dew and playing Xbone.
I wonder how many parents of the Gaffers still living at home are secretly sick of them and want them to fuck off already. Yet they think everything is great and wonderful at home. Your parents might be too nice and not want to hurt your feelings.
Not a decision to take lightly. I couldn't envision any other life now, but I had a very atypical (tough) childhood. If I could live with either of my parents, I would in a shot; the money I'd save...
Because parents are people, and a good amount of people like to have their privacy. Your mom and dad want to walk around naked and fuck in the kitchen but they can't because your 30 year old ass is sitting on the couch in your tighty whitey's drinking Dew and playing Xbone.
Maybe they shouldn't have kids so they can keep that privacy until their dying day?
Kids are a choice but by having one you take on the responsibility of ensuring it has the best possible life it can. You don't just have one, raise it until it hits 18 and tell it get the fuck out. Why bother even having kids if that's how you view parenting?
Just save society the trouble of one more person who is left struggling trying to make ends meet and don't procreate, your genes don't need to advance any more at that stage. Let them die off with you. You've done enough, Humanity doesn't need you in the gene pool any more.
That's quite an escalation....
Well no. He's currently more financial stable than he was and he's getting ready to build his own home. Had the option been available to stay at home during those initial five years, it's very possible that he would have already built the home or been partway through its construction.
His education would have likely progressed better too.
Feels weird talking about Lucian like he isn't here in the conversation...we see you Lucian, don't worry.
It was hyperbolic but he is kinda right, kids aren't a burden, they're important and should be thought of that way. If you don't want kids, don't have them. To be honest, the guy he was quoting was worse...
Ever hear of Empty Nest Syndrome?
If so, they deserve an academy award. When I was living on my own, my mom begged me to come back several times a week.
That's quite an escalation....
It was hyperbolic but he is kinda right, kids aren't a burden, they're important and should be thought of that way. If you don't want kids, don't have them. To be honest, the guy he was quoting was worse...
I'm a she. This whole post makes me feel weird.
And, at sometime the stop being kids.
I'm not saying that once they turn 18 or so, that's it, you stop caring for them and helping them out, but they should give parents a bit of space to live again.
And that's a pretty damn insulting mindset to have in a good majority of the world including first world countries. It's such an odd stigma to me.
What kind of bullshit is this? Having kids does not mean you can't expect them to take care of themselves at some point in their lives.Maybe they shouldn't have kids so they can keep that privacy until their dying day?
Kids are a choice but by having one you take on the responsibility of ensuring it has the best possible life it can. You don't just have one, raise it until it hits 18 and tell it get the fuck out. Why bother even having kids if that's how you view parenting?
Just save society the trouble of one more person who is left struggling trying to make ends meet and don't procreate, your genes don't need to advance any more at that stage. Let them die off with you. You've done enough, Humanity doesn't need you in the gene pool any more.
And I don't think throwing your children out of the house is good parenting either, especially in some circumstances, I mean, if they have the opportunities and have a place to stay/going to uni and stuff fine, but not getting kicked out. It's all relative at the end of the day and some parents want their children to stick around, some would prefer they move out and some just kick them out. I tend to think less of the latter but that's just me. Plus, some people are just close with their parents and some just aren't. If your children are paying their way into the household and want to save up before moving out, that's perfectly reasonable.
And to be honest, your independance goes when you have kids, especially multiple kids. Your whole life revolves around them and that's just the way things are. If some people only like the fun part of parenting but don't like the hard parts of parenting, frankly, they should just aunts/uncles and not be parents in the first place.
Obviously not going to kick them out on the streets, but would expect them to be gone (due to Uni, or work) by the time they are 18/19/20
Sounds like you just really want to live with your parents more than anything else tbh.
And, at some point they stop being kids.
I'm not saying that once they turn 18 or so, that's it, you stop caring for them and helping them out, but they should give parents a bit of space to live again.
You think the fun part of parenting is the first 18 years? Awesome.
They do, but your responsibility to them doesn't end when they reach a certain age. That's not how parenting works.
Live again is an odd way to frame it too. The parents made a choice to have the child, they knew it would be a lifelong commitment. So to then turn around and say it's time for us to live again? Nope, doesn't fly.
If you have those feelings, don't have kids. All you're doing is shifting your responsibility as a parent onto others when your kid reaches a certain age.
Unless the child can not take care of its own due to health issues or something, I don't see how a parent has a lifelong commitment to have them living in their house.They do, but your responsibility to them doesn't end when they reach a certain age. That's not how parenting works.
Live again is an odd way to frame it too. The parents made a choice to have the child, they knew it would be a lifelong commitment. So to then turn around and say it's time for us to live again? Nope, doesn't fly.
If you have those feelings, don't have kids. All you're doing is shifting your responsibility as a parent onto others when your kid reaches a certain age.
What kind of bullshit is this? Having kids does not mean you can't expect them to take care of themselves at some point in their lives.
If I ever have kids and they have the ability to move out, but refuse to do so, I'd probably force them to do it for their own good. I see no reason why a healthy person, who doesn't have to take care of their parents themselves due to illness or something else, older then 20 with funds to do so - even if they are limited - will not move out to their own place.
Unless the child can not take care of its own due to health issues or something, I don't see how a parent has a lifelong commitment to have them living in their house.
Be reasonable about it and don't kick someone out the moment they turn 18 or if they have no way of paying for their own place, but I would expect them to take care of themselves as some point.
However, if I was dating and a guy I really like told me he's 30 and living with his parents, I'll be honest, as much as I don't judge people and am open minded, I would think twice before dating that person. Most people look for a dependable, independent person for a relationship. You'd have to work twice as hard to prove you have those qualities.
Too late.
Counting down the second till I can toss my three girls out of the house.
Long way to go through, sadly.
Unless the child can not take care of its own due to health issues or something, I don't see how a parent has a lifelong commitment to have them living in their house.
Be reasonable about it and don't kick someone out the moment they turn 18 or if they have no way of paying for their own place, but I would expect them to take care of themselves as some point.
Man, if my taxes go to paying for your daughters food stamps, I'm going to hunt you down...
I see having kids in the same way I view getting a pet. You make a lifelong commitment. With pets, it's based around their expiration, with kids, its based around your own.
Taking care of themselves is something they can do within the family home though. Get a job, save, etc. These things don't require someone moving out of the house. If you instil the idea of take responsibility from a young age, the kid, regardless of whether they move out or not, will be able to take care of themselves.
That's very much buying into a social stigma, so your'e not as open-minded as you think. People throughout the world in cultures where living with your parents well into your 30s is normal seem to have little problem getting SOs. Hell, many in cultures where it IS a social stigma have no problems doing it.
But really, I'm not sure why this is the first thing people bring up, as if you need to be dating to validate your existence.
Ha, good luck to you, mun.
Course it's a lifelong commitment.
But that's not the same as them living in your house til they are in their 30s/40s (in most circumstances.... obvious mental / physical health issues not withstanding)
I should add I'm a firm believer in not renting. That's just throwing money way. .
It's mostly only a US thing since its common for most people around the world to stay together until they got married.
Even if your budget is tight, move out. There is nothing better than living alone.
And as for the people just stacking cash until they can buy a place straight out of the warm clutches of the parental environment, why would you really desire such a thing in this phase of your life?
I wonder if there are studies done about the impact moving out at a young age has on the entire rest of your life, because I think it's bigger than many people think.
Being 30 fucking years old and still have zero actual adult life skills sounds like the absolute worst way to start off life. That's no way to develop as a person.
Why would I pay rent if they don't pay rent? Both parents have houses and both want me to live with them.
I pay my share of the bills/food.