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I'm 30 and have never moved out
- Thread starter cereal_killerxx
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Yes.
I moved out at 17, but it was mostly out of necessity.
I wouldn't force my kids out by 18, provided they are in school and working part time. It is important to me they learn the value of work and see what it costs to do pretty much anything
No chance they are allowed to just lounge around doing fuck all
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
lol at the usual 'economy' excuse. i made 60k when i was 22. go into the right fields, take the right paths. generally less opportunities my fuckin cunt. we live in an age people make a living playing games on stream or making videos about their shitty lives in asia. you can build an international business from your basement. the only opportunities we're losing are to be some fuck all arts major or make a living working at walmart.
brianjones
Member
condescending as fuck and no real practical advice
Man, you do it when you do it. When you're ready, move out. If you're happy and comfortable where you are, and your parents (or whoever) are just as happy and comfortable having you under their roof, then so be it. I'd only advise not being too complacent. Have a plan for when you can no longer do so.
I've been living on my own mostly (no parents I mean, I've been with roommates or a gf for much of this) since I was 17. I don't regret it and I had parental financial aid for the earlier parts as I was living abroad, technically (it's a long story) but I probably would have stayed in the nest longer given a chance that was convenient to myself and one of them (separated). I felt no internal or external push to get out, it just worked out that way. I've lived alone, which I loved. With various roommates, some great, some alright, and some terrible. With romantic partners, see previous. A brief return to my father's which was fun and financially awesome. I could have stayed there longer.
Been a homeowner for 4 years now and I'm in my early 30's. I've lived a lot of different situations and I'm very happy where I am, but I'm just saying I could've been equally happy where OP is with the right circumstances. I don't agree with all these posts saying you NEED to get out in order to mature etc. In simpler terms: do you, homie. No need to rush it and live in a shitty apartment alone just for the sake of it. We're all different.
I've been living on my own mostly (no parents I mean, I've been with roommates or a gf for much of this) since I was 17. I don't regret it and I had parental financial aid for the earlier parts as I was living abroad, technically (it's a long story) but I probably would have stayed in the nest longer given a chance that was convenient to myself and one of them (separated). I felt no internal or external push to get out, it just worked out that way. I've lived alone, which I loved. With various roommates, some great, some alright, and some terrible. With romantic partners, see previous. A brief return to my father's which was fun and financially awesome. I could have stayed there longer.
Been a homeowner for 4 years now and I'm in my early 30's. I've lived a lot of different situations and I'm very happy where I am, but I'm just saying I could've been equally happy where OP is with the right circumstances. I don't agree with all these posts saying you NEED to get out in order to mature etc. In simpler terms: do you, homie. No need to rush it and live in a shitty apartment alone just for the sake of it. We're all different.
So I've got this friend I've known since we were both in first grade. We got on really well when we were younger, and in many ways we still do these days. However, as we got older the differences in personality between us would start to become clearer.
He became really interested in girls towards the end of high-school. I liked girls too, but I wasn't becoming fixated in the way he was. He bought a lot of clothes and accessories, was hitting up clubs every weekend, even did some of that pick-up artist stuff. I came out with him a bunch of times, but nowhere close to as often he did. I hated the scene, and every moment I spent in it made me miserable.
He was pretty quick to move out of home too, and he made a beeline straight for the nearest big(ish) city. He'd frequently message me saying I should come and join him in the city, and how I could come out with him and meet people, and that it'd be great and I'd love it if I gave it a try.
He was never able to understand that I just wasn't wired up the way he was. The stuff that he was desperate to do made me feel like shit. In the dozens of times I went out to clubs with him, I never liked it even a fraction more than when I started. I never felt an attraction to the idea of striking out into an unfamiliar city with no idea of where I might live, and visiting him there did nothing to change that.
The point I'm very slowly getting to is that some people just don't want to live your experience of stepping out into the big wide world and existing moment-to-moment. That life doesn't make them feel good in the way it does you, and it isn't something that can be changed by repetition.
In a couple of years I'll be 30, and then just like your description, I'll be out of home and into my own joint. That's a way of living that works for me. I wish I shared your adventurous spirit, but I can only work with what I've got.
-Pyromaniac-
Member
Such a north american thing to worry about this so much. Move out when you want.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
ive given so much practical advice on here you could collect them and publish a book. the economy is a lazy excuse in 2016. lack of opportunities is just a bullshit excuse. navigate life smartly and you will be a winner. most people just dont see the big picture.
Joelstinton14
Member
this. I really struggled. I had a flat share with a mate, but he was always away (in the navy), when he was there, i wasn't there as i worked weekends, so i found it really tough. Everything just seemed to break down, and it really brought forward some OCD tendencies.
I went in oblivious to having any OCD tendencies, coming out really stressed. The boiler kept breaking down, had a gas leak, taps kept dripping, shower failed, etc etc. I ended up repeatedly checking everything, had to go through several routines just to leave the house, often having to go back to check.
It had a really negative effect on me, i was ok for a few years, but years of isolation as changed my life for the worse, and i'm trying to deal with the fallout of that. I think i could do it again, but.. yeah the last experience wasn't great.
To be fair, your post basically boiled down to "Be good at life and your life will be good!"
If things were that simple, everyone would be living large like you are.
I have read some posts and...
Jesus Christ people, grow up. I am Latino, Latino families seem to stick like for forever and hey its good. I am all for... First get a good job, stabilize, then move out... Not just move and try to survive in debt. But once you make at least 20-25k...yeah, move the fuck out. Empty nest syndrome? Come on, your parents will get over it eventually just keep communication.
At my 27 I don't know how I could invite a girl to my mommy's house. My face would melt in shame. Same in a professional work place.... Like, yeah guys let's go over to my mom's house so we can chill out. How do you expect to have social growth? Learn responsibility on other areas? Gain skills such as cooking, cleaning, etc? This mindset of staying with your parents is so weak, it's just excuses built upon excuses.
Move out people, really.... It's great.
Jesus Christ people, grow up. I am Latino, Latino families seem to stick like for forever and hey its good. I am all for... First get a good job, stabilize, then move out... Not just move and try to survive in debt. But once you make at least 20-25k...yeah, move the fuck out. Empty nest syndrome? Come on, your parents will get over it eventually just keep communication.
At my 27 I don't know how I could invite a girl to my mommy's house. My face would melt in shame. Same in a professional work place.... Like, yeah guys let's go over to my mom's house so we can chill out. How do you expect to have social growth? Learn responsibility on other areas? Gain skills such as cooking, cleaning, etc? This mindset of staying with your parents is so weak, it's just excuses built upon excuses.
Move out people, really.... It's great.
I think it depends, like, is my kid studying and working and living with me because postgraduate study is damn expensive? Always welcome. If he's some kind of sofa blob parasite, gtfo.
Miles Quaritch
Member
LOL. Grow up.
Why does social growth demand you have your own place? Hotels don't exist when you want to spend the night with someone? Why does living at home mean you can't take on more responsibility? Why does staying at home automatically mean to you that you can't learn now to cook, clean, etc?
You're just trying to justify your choice to leave home by playing up these aspects as things that can only achieved by living alone, which just isn't true and then there's using phrases like mommy to and take a mocking and condescending tone towards those who choose or have no option but to stay at home.
I lived with my parents until I was 26. I was able to save up enough cash from deployments in the national guard, so I wasn't really home much anyway. Best decision I made and my parents didn't mind. Met my now wife through the army so it all worked out.
I think I would be super depressed if I was 30 and still at home.
I think I would be super depressed if I was 30 and still at home.
Some people arent cut out for STEM if thats what you are getting at. I spend 3 years at a two year program studying my ass off, only got one year done.
Ive always struggled with school, so my job options have been limited.
If every single person on Earth were exactly like you, had exactly the same skillset and exactly the same drive, would there be anybody who is not making bank in the entire world?
What did he mean by this?
Member
If anyone asks just say "My parents live with me"
Also, dont let anyone itt tell you how to feel or shame you. Familia is personal.
Also, dont let anyone itt tell you how to feel or shame you. Familia is personal.
People are afraid of the real world.
This is also my opinion on this whole thing. I don't know how people handle it with the girls, but I guess they don't bring any home at all? I also know that eastern families have the whole family unit thing and stay together to care for eachother which is okay.
Also lol @ the nest syndrome - your mum (I guess most of the dads don't cry or beg for you coming back) don't know how to handle all the new free time and no obligations.
Also you won't gain the most life knowledge from your parents. You will have to do everything yourself and you won't know shit, but gladly we live in such a simple time, that all the knowledge that you need is on your smartphone by using Google.com
I guess he just wanted to motivate people to get off their asses, because he is right. You can make money with everything as long as you do shit. Many people just make excuses. E.g. when I went to school I made a YouTube Channel with a friend about hookahs and just made videos every day testing products and shit. Guess what? He is a retail shop here now and back then Google threw 300-400€ every month at us for SMOKING (and a bit of video editing ok).
What you are saying is just the race of life. Someone is better than you? In another perspective: The strong ones live on.
I dunno how people can do it. I moved out at 18 and stress the fuck out whenever I'm near my family for more than a week. I had to live with them for 3 months over the summer while I was relocating from Seattle to NYC and it was actual hell.
I need my independence somethin' fierce, I suppose. I will say, I learned a lot by living on my own that I might not have ever learned. Ymmv, but I just cannot imagine what I'd be like if I didn't have to deal with some of the bullshit I've dealt with as a product of living completely on my own.
That said, I do like having roommates. Or more specifically, living with friends.
I need my independence somethin' fierce, I suppose. I will say, I learned a lot by living on my own that I might not have ever learned. Ymmv, but I just cannot imagine what I'd be like if I didn't have to deal with some of the bullshit I've dealt with as a product of living completely on my own.
That said, I do like having roommates. Or more specifically, living with friends.
Miles Quaritch
Member
So how I can double my pay. How I can attract a supermodel wife and be successful in all things?
Oh, I need to attend your self help seminar? Okay. And pay how much? Oh, okay. Let's do this, I want to be a winner, I'm an expert. Help me turn my life around. Drown me in your knowledge, fill my cavities with your superior money making and life winning skills.
I'm eager and willing.
Joelstinton14
Member
I'm not sure what it is like in america, but here in the UK, people aged 30 moving back home is now quite common. We're called the boomerang generation. i think a quarter of people between the age of 20-34 do so now.
I recently moved back in to my parents ( aged 30, been back a year).
From 19-24 i was away at Uni, quite a way away, and i loved it. Met so many cool people, and made friends for life, and i miss them a lot.
From 25-29 i lived in the next town from my parents with an old school friend. Which wasn't so great as explained above, and i eventually had to leave, which meant coming home, i can't afford to rent by just myself.
Problem where i am is the wage/house price/rent is really skewiff. High rents, low income. (Cornwall), and in the south of the country, that is pretty common. So when i was renting i couldn't afford a car, or actually save any money, and as of now i'm single too, so i'm not in a position at the moment to do so other than flat share with randoms.
So i'm back at home. I'm just at that stage now where it just deciding what to do with my life. It an's awkward age, you kind of aware of the 40's being around the corner and preparing for that and beyond, be it saving for a house, or what not. I graduated 6 years ago, the worst possible time really, with few jobs, and many , probably better skilled people getting them, the economy as gotten better, but most graduate jobs rather employ new graduates. So i'm kind of still searching but looking more to maybe being self employed.
I recently moved back in to my parents ( aged 30, been back a year).
From 19-24 i was away at Uni, quite a way away, and i loved it. Met so many cool people, and made friends for life, and i miss them a lot.
From 25-29 i lived in the next town from my parents with an old school friend. Which wasn't so great as explained above, and i eventually had to leave, which meant coming home, i can't afford to rent by just myself.
Problem where i am is the wage/house price/rent is really skewiff. High rents, low income. (Cornwall), and in the south of the country, that is pretty common. So when i was renting i couldn't afford a car, or actually save any money, and as of now i'm single too, so i'm not in a position at the moment to do so other than flat share with randoms.
So i'm back at home. I'm just at that stage now where it just deciding what to do with my life. It an's awkward age, you kind of aware of the 40's being around the corner and preparing for that and beyond, be it saving for a house, or what not. I graduated 6 years ago, the worst possible time really, with few jobs, and many , probably better skilled people getting them, the economy as gotten better, but most graduate jobs rather employ new graduates. So i'm kind of still searching but looking more to maybe being self employed.
So why didn't you find a new place with a roommate who was around more often? "Years of isolation" is a bit melodramatic, no?
Concrete Charlie
Member
Seinfeld had this one pegged years ago:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTdj-S-NhDE
Very relevant to many of the posters in this thread. Also, hilarious.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTdj-S-NhDE
Very relevant to many of the posters in this thread. Also, hilarious.
Complete bullshit.
The very nature of a system like the US has is that there will always be losers. Acting like everyone can be making 60k+ in their early 20s is asburd.
24 here, will be 25 next week. Still living with my folks. I actually live with my Grandpa in his house and my parents are here too. I am saving money and going to school while I am living here. Still feels weird though. Not the best set up, but I am making it work.
I am hoping to make it work that I can move out this year, and make some stability for myself.
I am hoping to make it work that I can move out this year, and make some stability for myself.
I was living with 1 roommate comfortably making about 23k a year, and by myself a little less comfortably at 30k.
If you can't afford to live in your city, there are other cities with lower costs of living. I wouldn't fault anyone from San Francisco for living with their parents, but if you're in the interior of the US? No excuses.
Well I specifically gave the number I did since he was bragging about how much he made at 22.
Anyway, do you really think it's that easy for someone that can't afford to live in their current city to just suddenly move who knows how far away and get a new job in another city?
Princess Carl
Member
Boy what a gigantic swath of land you seem know everything about. Maybe you should rethink your authority on the subject.
I moved out when I was 22. Moved back in when I was 25 and I'll be 26 this year yeesh.
Dropped out of Uni and found myself without money, prospects and confidence. Getting some of it all back so I'll be leaving again soon. Horrid thing here is my family is real poor, never really had much for myself being the last kid and my mother's spouse hates me so it's real hard - but in the long term it'll be worth it.
I'd say the hardest part is giving up the sexual activity, but for some reason when I got my own place I somehow got laid much less. How does it work?
Dropped out of Uni and found myself without money, prospects and confidence. Getting some of it all back so I'll be leaving again soon. Horrid thing here is my family is real poor, never really had much for myself being the last kid and my mother's spouse hates me so it's real hard - but in the long term it'll be worth it.
I'd say the hardest part is giving up the sexual activity, but for some reason when I got my own place I somehow got laid much less. How does it work?
Joelstinton14
Member
It may read as melodramatic, but it certainly wasn't. Suffering from depression and a change in mental behaviour really has affected me.
Partially my fault, i had the opportunity to leave but i decided to stick it out. It wasn't easy as leaving or changing roommates. My flat mate being in the navy was often away at 6-9 months away at a time on ship. So i couldn't really just up and leave. i tried when it got really bad and it left a pretty nasty fallout between us, that thankfully we put behind us. The first couple of times he went away i coped ok but the signs were there because i thought about it, the next couple of times though was when it really got hard.
People that are just lazy (and not unlucky like many other people) have no excuses. I am a expert is in that case right, that you have so many possibilites to make yourself a good life, but people don't use them, because of some excuses.
Lazy is only part of the problem. Leaving a known quantity of comfort behind because of fear of the unknown is a growing problem of this current generation. From the small sample size this thread has given us, the majority of people that stay at home aren't doing it because they're physically unable to leave their situation, it's because they choose not to. The path to independence isn't supposed to be easy or comfortable.
LyleLanley
Banned
Yes, I may support them financially somewhat but I don't want them sticking around until they're 30.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
I get the economic reasons and those cannot be ignored. But the fact is that for self-development, you need to get out on your own. I didn't really get budgeting skills until it was all on me. I got much of my adult coping skills when I was on my own. So yes, if you can, it is important to get out of the nest and start making a life for yourself. Even if you flame out and have to move back with your parents, the personal growth you would have gotten is worth it.
BeatnikGunsoo
Member
But what if you take of the budgeting because your mom is hilariously terrible at managing money.
I mean this isn't in response to you personally or anything but how privileged were guys growing up where you seemingly didn't have any "adult skills" until you left the "nest"
what are adult skills anyway
paying bills?
cooking your own meals?
working?
cleaning?
you really needed to leave the "nest" to do stuff like that, really
Definitely seems to be a social norm here. Probably why the stigma is so bad.
18 is when we go off to college in America, and usually somewhere that's not in our hometown. Typically it's not unusual for someone to come back home for 6 months to a year after college (22/23) while they find their first job. Staying around till they're 29 or 30 is a fairly recent trend driven by boomer overparenting, millennial entitlement, and underemployment.
Rising college costs are keeping kids closer to home, or not going to college at all, leading to less professional employment opportunities.
Thug Waffle
Member
OP, have you at least been taking advantage of the low/no rent situation? Have you been saving the money you've been making?
PlayALLtheGames
Banned
Good luck with that. I'm sure it'll turn out exactly as you expect.
This sounds more like you don't have the "balls" (I know I know, not the best term) to move and just want to mooch off your parents and live without any complexity. You know what? That's not how the world works. You are just cozy and comfy and don't wany to put yourself out there.
Please do tell me how will you invite a girl you are dating to your parents house if you are 24+. Or how in a working environment with professionals will you invite some for a drink over to your parents house? Hell, buying your own groceries is exciting as fuck. Grow up and get away from your comfort zone, it's gonna keep crushing you.
But look at it the other way. I'm 24 (so you understand the generational example) I left early because of personal things going on, but my mom and dad were both out of the house at like 17 and she was having her first kid. Dad immigrating from Mexico also. All of my friends parents almost the same story they all got out at 18 and were most likely having or already had a kid +-5 years.
Personally I would kick them out. If we can support ourselves here I would have no problem helping he/she out at their own place. As a future parent I plan on helping as much with college debt as possible so why wouldn't I be willing to help with them getting their own place. I'd be willing to keep them at the house let's say half or all of college, but they don't want to live here forever and I would be hurting them allowing it.
Personally I would kick them out. If we can support ourselves here I would have no problem helping he/she out at their own place. As a future parent I plan on helping as much with college debt as possible so why wouldn't I be willing to help with them getting their own place. I'd be willing to keep them at the house let's say half or all of college, but they don't want to live here forever and I would be hurting them allowing it.
Extra Sauce
Member
I moved out at 28 but the only reason I was able to stay at my parents's place for so long is that they were not home from friday morning to monday evening.
I regret not having saved more money during my twenties. I did pay my parents three to four hundred dollars a month to live under their roof while working full time, but that was a bargain compared to my current costs of living.
I regret not having saved more money during my twenties. I did pay my parents three to four hundred dollars a month to live under their roof while working full time, but that was a bargain compared to my current costs of living.
CrocMother
Banned
One summer, go on craigs list and find a 3 month sublease.
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