I went to a party on Friday and being a shy introvert sucks
- Thread starter KevinCow
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lmao at the drinking / smoking comparisons. No one is telling the op to smash a 40 of vodka, more like find a mixed drink he likes and have 1-2
TimeEffect
Member
Go early. Like, be one of the first ones there. Help the host prep. That way, you can meet people first as they come in and have an easier time
Yep and OP doesn't sound like the type of person who parties every week, so those couple drinks would have zero impact on his health.
No, you should only leave if you feel you want to leave.
Believe me, if you decide you dont want to not talk to anyone and stay in a corner on your phone, no one cares. They are socializing with others to even notice you. People who think that, its all in your head.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Your friend should have introduced you to everyone. Weak on his part. You should have just had some drinks and tried to strike up a convo. Its hard though when you don't know anyone.
The Hermit
Member
Educate yourself about the PUA community.
If someone dressed like that can be a blast at parties anyone can. Really. This is the only lesson I've learned from this weirdos.
If someone dressed like that can be a blast at parties anyone can. Really. This is the only lesson I've learned from this weirdos.
Oppo
Member
yes, feel bad. Jesus what wrong with some of you.
OP you need to learn how to talk to people without a keyboard or you should have just bailed for the evening and come back later.
I am an introvert too but I have no issue mingling. what you have is social anxiety. you should fix that. you have a thread history that speaks to this.
get a therapist and get used to the idea that you need to go outside your comfort zone sometimes and it's not the end of the world. the beginning, in fact.
People that do this are the worst.
How About No
Member
Nah we're the best. At least we're not wasting your time pretending to be interested in what you have to say over loud music anyway
thats so awkward why not just leave?
Yeah, drinking helps, but there's a delicacy to it. Once I've got a beer down and am working on number 2 I usually reach equilibrium. The inhibitions warning me not to say anything stupid (or at all) come down enough so I can hold a conversation and keep it moving relatively intelligently with most anyone, while also not fearing that I'll fly off the social odometer and insult someone. That's when I need to slow the drinks down so as to maintain that steady level pre-drunk buzz and all around fun-loving Carlisle.
Often that's not what happens. My pace gets too quick and before I know it I'm slurring my words and getting pretty obnoxious. Then I'm offending people and being generally unpleasant before the blackness overtakes me and I wake twelve hours later with this horrible guilty fear about how much of an ass I made of myself. I dwell on it for the entire day and probably the rest of the week. I think about sending apology emails and texts, and, depending on how bad this fear is, I do.
But almost always it's blown up way more in my own mind than how it actually played out. Usually your bros will tell you straight up how it went, but in either case the answer is don't worry about it, just watch it next time. So the moral here is yes, drink, but you don't need to get sloshed and you'll probably have a better time if you don't.
Also OP, maybe it's just your age. When I was a youngster I enjoyed the loud parties and half naked girls grinding around. But now in my (Jesus) early 30s, I too prefer a quieter night with sustained audible conversation and half-naked girls walking passed me to get to the party. I still take those 1-2 drinks of course, even on the quiet nights, but I now find there's more to be said about the latter type of gathering than the former.
Often that's not what happens. My pace gets too quick and before I know it I'm slurring my words and getting pretty obnoxious. Then I'm offending people and being generally unpleasant before the blackness overtakes me and I wake twelve hours later with this horrible guilty fear about how much of an ass I made of myself. I dwell on it for the entire day and probably the rest of the week. I think about sending apology emails and texts, and, depending on how bad this fear is, I do.
But almost always it's blown up way more in my own mind than how it actually played out. Usually your bros will tell you straight up how it went, but in either case the answer is don't worry about it, just watch it next time. So the moral here is yes, drink, but you don't need to get sloshed and you'll probably have a better time if you don't.
Also OP, maybe it's just your age. When I was a youngster I enjoyed the loud parties and half naked girls grinding around. But now in my (Jesus) early 30s, I too prefer a quieter night with sustained audible conversation and half-naked girls walking passed me to get to the party. I still take those 1-2 drinks of course, even on the quiet nights, but I now find there's more to be said about the latter type of gathering than the former.
orthodoxy1095
Banned
Why stay then?
thestopsign
Member
A good way to meet people at a house party where people are drinking is to be holding some sort of food. Hold a bag of chips/pretzels and offer it to people, they will think you are the best thing since sliced bread and start conversations with you without you trying. If you're up to it (and it is financially viable for you), order some cheap pizza to the party.
Once I bought one of those bear-shaped tubs of animal crackers at Walmart for my college dorm room. I got drunk before a party and decided it was a good idea to bring the whole, giant tub to a party and everyone there thought it was hilarious and the best thing. I got to talk to people about what animal cracker was their favorite to eat.
Once I bought one of those bear-shaped tubs of animal crackers at Walmart for my college dorm room. I got drunk before a party and decided it was a good idea to bring the whole, giant tub to a party and everyone there thought it was hilarious and the best thing. I got to talk to people about what animal cracker was their favorite to eat.
Just be a goof, say bullshit and drunk people respond. People are usually quite friendly if they're having a good time and not a bunch of assholes.
All you can do is work on your social skills and stop worrying about stuff.
Sometimes I can be introverted too, just not in the mood and dont feel like getting involved... It's difficult when you get like that.
You just feel bored and unstimulated by everything, so it's difficult to even want to break ice.
But if you do want in and you're just shy or nervous, just work on it. Think of openers. Even just something silly like "hey I'm an introvert is it cool if I hide with you guys for a bit?"
Practice works!
All you can do is work on your social skills and stop worrying about stuff.
Sometimes I can be introverted too, just not in the mood and dont feel like getting involved... It's difficult when you get like that.
You just feel bored and unstimulated by everything, so it's difficult to even want to break ice.
But if you do want in and you're just shy or nervous, just work on it. Think of openers. Even just something silly like "hey I'm an introvert is it cool if I hide with you guys for a bit?"
Practice works!
How About No
Member
I dunno well shit now that I think about I haven't really been to a party.
I think I may be conflating others' collective GAF experiences with my own lack of them.
I really only hang out with a small group of people I already know so drinking doesn't really make me behave much different I guess
Arjen
Member
You played street fighter with people right? That seems like the perfect opening to start a chat with the people you were playing with. Sitting alone on your phone is the worst way you could've handle this.
Stand next to a group of people, follow the conversation and try to chime in.
I used to be a pretty shy person around new folks, but I realized that I at least had to make some effort myself. After a while it comes naturally.
Stand next to a group of people, follow the conversation and try to chime in.
I used to be a pretty shy person around new folks, but I realized that I at least had to make some effort myself. After a while it comes naturally.
Practice, man. Treat small talk like a game. Yeah it can be empty and pointless, but doing it well is an art. Also, practice being curious about the other people and ask about them. Sure, it might seem fake at first, but fake it till you make it. It can become really interesting.
I was super introverted and uncomfortable at parties for years. Those techniques work for me. Now I get a sense of satisfaction from "successful" conversations. Makes me tired though and I want to be alone for a day afterwards, but at least the party itself is now fun.
I was super introverted and uncomfortable at parties for years. Those techniques work for me. Now I get a sense of satisfaction from "successful" conversations. Makes me tired though and I want to be alone for a day afterwards, but at least the party itself is now fun.
Jezbollah
Member
OP. If you are going to go to a party without anyone you know, then you yourself has to make a bit of an effort at any opportunity. You said you played SF5 earlier on in the evening - did you not strike up any chit-chat with anyone who you played with then?
Sometimes being amongst strangers means that essentially you have nothing to lose when striking up conversations if you see an opening.
It's debateable to think it's fair to be in a position where you expect others to be outgoing out of nowhere if you're not prepared to do the same.
Sometimes being amongst strangers means that essentially you have nothing to lose when striking up conversations if you see an opening.
It's debateable to think it's fair to be in a position where you expect others to be outgoing out of nowhere if you're not prepared to do the same.
radios shipping overview
Member
House parties are sort of big, loud, awkward affairs in general, which is I guess why people drink so much at them: to make it bearable to be around a bunch of drunk strangers. Don't worry about it too much, because parties like that don't work for everybody. If you can socialize in ways that let you avoid them, definitely do so.
Don't worry OP, parties and drinking are severely overrated. I mean, unless you like obnoxiousness, puke and getting roofied.
The fact that people can't socialize without being drunk is pretty sad. It's not your fault your friend threw a party with an emphasis on alcohol. Next time bring a 3DS along and some headphones.
The fact that people can't socialize without being drunk is pretty sad. It's not your fault your friend threw a party with an emphasis on alcohol. Next time bring a 3DS along and some headphones.
UnObtainium17
Member
I wishi could be in a party where i know almost nobody. I wanna see how i would fare in that kind situation.
Did you get all of this from a movie?
Point taken with everything but taste. A good bartender can make dozens of mixed drinks taste like non-alcoholic fruit drinks. Some can even make martinis taste like candy bars.
TheBryanJZX90
Member
House parties are kind of like training for actual adult networking that is beneficial if not required in many professional settings. In college you need to learn how to talk to people, and use alcohol as a crutch if you have to. Then as you move into the professional world you need to learn how to talk to people without the alcohol as a crutch.
It's hard for a lot of people and definitely hard for me. But it's just something you have to be able to do if you want to make the most of your opportunities.
It's hard for a lot of people and definitely hard for me. But it's just something you have to be able to do if you want to make the most of your opportunities.
Arjen
Member
With this being GAF this might even be a serious post.
Also you should have just asked your friend to introduce you. Larger parties with lots of games and food can be hard to host, especially if everyone arrives around the same time. If the host drinks, waiting too long into the party to ask to be introduced can make it harder as one of the perks of hosting is not worrying about driving sober.
Sho_Nuff82
Member
Introversion shouldn't be an excuse for unchecked arrogance. You have no way of knowing if the other people at the party are interesting or not. Assuming that they are just because they won't talk to you is pure sour grapes.
This guy knows wassup.
Nah, 2 tops for newbies. More than that and its counter productive.
Nope. Personal experience being drug to terrible college parties with friends who wouldn't shut up about how fun it's going to be.
it was never fun. Just a bunch of obnoxious people throwing up all over each other
Alcohol marketing works really well on some people. To everyone with sense drinking more than a few beers or a few shots is literally poison. Also mr party guy: don't drink and drive. Just because you want to mess your life up by drinking doesn't give you the right to ruin someone else's.
Oh and smile a lot, and try to look people in the eye a decent chunk of the time.
No one is saying that OP should get wasted or drink and drive, what are you talking about
Jawmuncher
Member
Liking snake in smash is the first step.
BKatastrophe
Member
Have a random ass question that, if it fails people will think you're weird as fuck and you'll kill conversations, but if it succeeds you now have crafted something special.
Mine is "What Muppet is your spirit animal?" Works every goddamned time. But also sticking to the basics works.
Mine is "What Muppet is your spirit animal?" Works every goddamned time. But also sticking to the basics works.
This was my biggest thing.
Yeah no one should feel bad about needing a break. Step out on to the balcony/porch. Go to a different, emptier room. Everyone needs a recharge.
Tawney Bomb
Member
I used to drink to get around my shyness, then I stopped drinking. Parties got awkward for a few months, then I sucked it up and just started talking to anyone near me.
How in the world are parties overrated?
How About No
Member
I guess I'm not interested in being interested then. And I know it goes way beyond introversion for me, it's almost like I get off on the idea of being asocial. Like in the break room people are having conversations and I'm thinking to myself "damn I'm so glad I'm sitting here by myself, even gladder no one is even attempting to make conversation with me". Like if someone does try to I usually just get antsy and try to cut it off as soon as possible "Hmm interesting well bye!"
Nah that doesn't count. Cuz I said so.
TheBryanJZX90
Member
Probably shouldn't be socializing with people on GAF then
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