"But black people are allowed to say the n-word..."

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Some people just learn these things late. At least she's asking, although whether that's wanting to earnestly learn, or just to have a pissing match, is another matter.
 
What I'd probably ask is why the fuck they even want to use it. What need could you possibly have if you're not a racist? Just leave it out of your vocabulary it's not a huge thing to ask.
 
In some regards it's simplifying the issue, but the way I explained it to a friend was that that it's basically saying you want that specific "benefit" of being black, but you don't have to (and probably don't want to) deal with the other baggage that comes with being black, or a minority in general.

It's like, of all the issues related to racial inequality, not being able to drop the n-word as a white person is what riles you up?
 
Puck Beaverton said:
She could have at least dropper the er
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It wouldn't have changed what she said one bit.
When people complain about black people being able to say nigga free of consequence, they really mean "Why can't I call them niggers free of consequence?"
People who aren't black shouldn't be using any variation of nigger anyway.
 
if she at least said "half nigga" she would still be ignorant and pretty dumb but only half racist

but since she said "half nigger" she's all of those plus 1 hundo percento racist

"half nigger" wtf lol

I mean sheesh
 
Fudgepuppy said:
I live in Bulgaria.
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I guess that kinda explains it. Bulgarians are 84.5% of the population, Turkish 9.6%, Roma 4.1%, other minorities a tiny sliver, .9%.

I don't think I'd drop them as friends - though I would if it had happened here in the U.S. - but rather explain to them that the word has a long history of abusive usage by non-blacks and that it hurts you to hear them use it.
 
Fudgepuppy said:
I live in Bulgaria.
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This explains a lot. Especially why nobody else bat an eyelid.

In your case, just explain to her that it's not ok.
Here is a quote you can use:
"I might see Trinidad James on the street and call him 'my nigga.' You know why? Because he is my nigga. And the difference between Trinidad James and you, is that Trinidad James has to deal with the same oppressive situations. He was born into a world where anti-black racism prevails. He lives in a world where police might shoot him on the street no matter how much money he has. We share a collective condition known as 'nigga.' White people don't." - Marc Lamont Hill
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Your friends are racists.

Moving on, let's say your friend is dating someone. They call their partner sugartits or sweetdick. Your friend and their partner have a social contract that means that name is okay. That doesn't mean that anyone else can call their partner that, just your friend.

Same thing with the n-word. If you have a social understanding with your friend that the word is okay then it's okay for your relationship alone. If one of her friends is okay with her using that word that won't mean that you will be. If you are okay with it (thank God that you're not) that doesn't mean the next minority will be.

I mean, it ain't exactly rocket science.
 
Man, I don't really know what to tell you here because I kind of end up blanking out the same way you did when I come across stuff like that. I reeeeally know what you mean about sometimes people saying such racist things with such an innocent tone that you can't really muster up a response besides staring blankly and being like "...Really?"

One time I was dating this one girl who suddenly had an epiphany, turned to me wide-eyed and went "Oh yeah, you're a spic." She then went on (in a nearly offended tone) to say that by virtue of sleeping with me, she was allowed to call me a spic because a racist wouldn't sleep with a spic. I think she had some weird logic going on where being a not-racist was sexually transmitted. To this day I'm not super clear on her logic.

After that I told her that I wasn't her boyfriend but actually his evil twin brother Ramón. She didn't catch the hint and just stared at me blankly again. That's when I just gave up and went "...Okay, look, what I'm trying to say is that I can't date you anymore."

So yeah I don't really have a ton of advice here aside from just walking away from people like that. Sometimes it might not even be malicious, but if they can't at least try to understand what they are doing that's wrong, you might just want to walk away to keep yourself sane.
 
Slayven said:
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that is fucked up.

how could people see that shit and then try to come up with a rational defense for that godforsaken flag
 
Enzom21 said:
It wouldn't have changed what she said one bit.
When people complain about black people being able to say nigga free of consequence, they really mean "Why can't I call them niggers free of consequence?"
People who aren't black shouldn't be using any variation of nigger anyway.
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But when someone says "Why can black people say it if it's so horrible?", how are you supposed to respond in a concrete way?
 
KarmaCow said:
If someone gets heated over not being able to say it, and further that other people can, I really doubt their intentions. At the very least, they sound like an asshole.
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that's what I'm wondering... I mean I have been in some pretty inebriated and "lax"settings and what the OPs friend said would still bring a collective "WTF?" from everyone

and for discussion: the use of the N-word by black people is them taking back a name used to demean them and controlling it - it's not necessarily right or ok that it is used, but it is theirs to use... that's the whole point (a much lighter analogy would be like people using SJW as an insult and people taking the term SJW to use for their own purposes/ironically and strip it of its power as an insult)
 
The Artisan said:
There are non-black, non-white people who say it without a problem.

Belly said it in a song with the Weeknd, and he's of Palestinian descent.

DJ Khaled said it in a song full of a bunch of African-Americans, also of Palestinian descent.

Fat Joe says it all the time, he's Latino, I think of Cuban or Puerto Rican descent but I'm not sure.

The common thing here is that these are all examples of rap music; of which Eminem sits atop, but he never used it. He said it ONE TIME and it was only half the word and apparently it was because Proof was pressuring him to do it.
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I'm not sure what your arguing???

I'm not really sure whats so hard about "white people dont say the n word because it offends blacks die ti a history of oppression". Like the fact this is even a discussion is insane to me.
 
Bobby Roberts said:
The distinction between "a" and "er" is meaningless.
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I've seen "nigga" dropped "playfully" on this forum and there's no repercussions. There is a distinct difference in meaning and interpretation. I'm not justifying the use of either, by the way.

LyleLanley said:
Honestly I don't think a lot of white strangers are going to confront someone over saying the n-word to their friend. So the answer to this question is probably a bar with only white people in it.
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I can understand. I mean, I'd be offended, but do I have the right to appropriate that ethnicity in conveying my offense?
 
Even if we use a safer word,
"You look dark. Are you half-black?"

That's usually not an appropriate question to ask either. Girl is a social idiot.
 
Hubbl3 said:
They really don't.
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Bronx-Man said:
There's a world of difference between the two. Ending in -A is a term of endearment for black people, -ER is a straight-up slur. Either way, OP's friend sounds like an idiot.
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Big Baybee said:
No, they don't. At all.
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BeatnikGunsoo said:
uh no they don't

are you serious right now brehski?
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Yeah that kinda depends almost entirely where you live and your accent. Here in the UK, Newcastle specifically, you would not be able to tell any kind of difference when spoken.
 
The Artisan said:
There are non-black, non-white people who say it without a problem.

Belly said it in a song with the Weeknd, and he's of Palestinian descent.

DJ Khaled said it in a song full of a bunch of African-Americans, also of Palestinian descent.

Fat Joe says it all the time, he's Latino, I think of Cuban or Puerto Rican descent but I'm not sure.

The common thing here is that these are all examples of rap music; of which Eminem sits atop, but he never used it. He said it ONE TIME and it was only half the word and apparently it was because Proof was pressuring him to do it.
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I don't think you know what word you're talking about.
 
Fudgepuppy said:
I was sitting with a couple of friends drinking beer, when one girl asks a guy "So you're pretty dark, are you half-nigger or something".

The setting was very lax and un-pc so no one really took offense. But I said "Yeah you shouldn't really use that word".

We got into a really hot debate about it and I just got completely off it, I didn't know how to respond to so many arguments because I didn't know where to start.

Then she said "But if black people can say it, why shouldn't I be able to do it? My intentions aren't bad".

Like, what are you supposed to retort with that's a valid argument? I got so surprised I didn't know what to say.

Edit. I personally have a lot of opinions about why you shouldn't say it, but it was more expressing them in a objective way that was hard.
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These two statements are at complete odds with one another.

I feel like the response should be: Anyone can use the word. Use it all you want, just remember, if you are not a person of color there is an almost 100% chance that people are going to think you're a racist asshole (with good reason).

Seriously, why do people want to use that word so badly? It's a fucking ugly word for anyone else besides the people who have co-opted it while trying to live their lives and fight back against centuries (and counting) or horrible racial oppression.

(I feel like that's the most I can contribute to this conversation as many of the intricacies of this debate are outside my knowledge and experience. If anything I wrote was offensive I both apologize and, please, let me know so I can edit it out.)
 
I can't imagining being so socially inept that I'd ask "Your skin is different, you some sort of <racial slur>?" opposed to "Hey I was curious what your ethnicity is if you don't mind sharing."
 
Gotdatmoney said:
I'm not sure what your arguing???

I'm not really sure whats so hard about "white people dont say the n word because it offends blacks die ti a history of oppression". Like the fact this is even a discussion is insane to me.
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I wasn't really making an argument, just pointing out some facts. Sometimes colored people who aren't black, say the word and sometimes it flies, and sometimes it doesn't. So is it that anyone who is not white can say it, or that anyone who isn't black can't say it?
Mr. Giggles said:
Why do you hate history and heritage?

Why artisan....WHYY
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Why be proud of a racist part of your heritage's history?!

I don't mean you, tbh I can't tell if you're sarcastic or not.
Black Republican said:
Southern Pride!
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But that's the way to celebrate Southern pride???
 
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