Every so often, you come across someone who is a good writer and has interesting things to say on Facebook. But most of the time, not so much. I've greatly, greatly, greatly cut down on my feed so that I'm only really keeping an eye on about twenty or so people. Just the ones who matter.
Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.
- Thread starter Bagels
- Start date
- Status
Every so often, you come across someone who is a good writer and has interesting things to say on Facebook. But most of the time, not so much. I've greatly, greatly, greatly cut down on my feed so that I'm only really keeping an eye on about twenty or so people. Just the ones who matter.
Fall Into The GAF
Member
Honestly, like MySpace before it, i began to use it as a what-to-know basis for bands I like. Everything is just noise and filler.
Congratulations!!!!!Got the job offer today.
Got the job offer today.
Good job!
BeautifulMemory
Member
What were some of the tips that you found helpful if you don't mind me asking
Turin, no! Is it stress over your dad?
Well, this kind of thing happened on occasion before my dad had a stroke. But it has been more frequent in the past month or so, so it's quite possible. As best as I can recall, what's usually going on in my head is a mixture of self hatred with maybe a little bit of existential angst. Usually it leads to not wanting to exist.
I've been prescribed meds for "mood disorder" in the past but that stuff just made me feel slightly sedated all of the time. Claiming to have adhd and taking Adderall again would do the trick for a while. >
But no. I don't feel like subjecting myself to the inevitable strange euphoric thoughts that I'll have to bring myself down from anyway.
I'll probably be alright. If anything it's a good example for the merits of a good nights rest. I'll just look to run more frequently and see if I can find time to get some rounds in.
Thanks for you concern, jb.
So a few months ago I changed from Mirtazipine to Bupropriom or whatever because I was gaining waaay too much weight and couldn't lose it. Honestly, I feel like going back, I never felt as well as I did with the previous meds and letting that go after 10 years of suffering because I was getting a belly doesn't seem worth it. In fact it's downright despairing.
I'm moving with my life (aka finishing my studies) but at a slower pace than I wished for, but it's getting harder and harder to find the energy to get out of bed or out of the house, everything just feels pointless and I'm always tired. Some suicidal thoughts pop up from time to time, I don't intend to act on them, but sometimes I get worried that getting used to having these thought might not be very healthy.
Not only that, I'm falling again for a girl I loved some time ago and we're getting along really well right now, so this really hurts because I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me like that.
Well, just wanted to get this out of my chest!
I'm moving with my life (aka finishing my studies) but at a slower pace than I wished for, but it's getting harder and harder to find the energy to get out of bed or out of the house, everything just feels pointless and I'm always tired. Some suicidal thoughts pop up from time to time, I don't intend to act on them, but sometimes I get worried that getting used to having these thought might not be very healthy.
Not only that, I'm falling again for a girl I loved some time ago and we're getting along really well right now, so this really hurts because I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me like that.
Well, just wanted to get this out of my chest!
Well, this kind of thing happened on occasion before my dad had a stroke. But it has been more frequent in the past month or so, so it's quite possible. As best as I can recall, what's usually going on in my head is a mixture of self hatred with maybe a little bit of existential angst. Usually it leads to not wanting to exist.
I've been prescribed meds for "mood disorder" in the past but that stuff just made me feel slightly sedated all of the time. Claiming to have adhd and taking Adderall again would do the trick for a while. >
But no. I don't feel like subjecting myself to the inevitable strange euphoric thoughts that I'll have to bring myself down from anyway.
I'll probably be alright. If anything it's a good example for the merits of a good nights rest. I'll just look to run more frequently and see if I can find time to get some rounds in.
Thanks for you concern, jb.
Sure, dude. Let me know if you need anything. I definitely understand the self-hatred part.
I've not had the chance to respond to the responses to my last post (which I massively appreciate), but I'm feeling incredibly low right now.
When a "best" friend lies in such a fashion, it really makes you question things in your life.
As of right now I'm sitting in a pub drinking by myself, rather pathetically.
When a "best" friend lies in such a fashion, it really makes you question things in your life.
As of right now I'm sitting in a pub drinking by myself, rather pathetically.
So now I'm starting to apply to jobs for next school year. When I get to an interview, would it be at all advisable to disclose my anxiety condition? I am really worried because it has impacted my effectiveness in many ways at my current job, but I know I can thrive in the right environment.
I had my doctor's appointment today. I was given two options:
1. Go up on the Wellbutrin.
2. Keep taking the Wellbutrin as in, and add Lamotrigine to take at bedtime to stabilize my moods.
I opted for the second option. I've never really heard anything about Lamotrigine in particular, so if anyone has been on it and has some idea what to expect, let me know.
The doctor also wanted to do a gene test to get a better idea what would actually work for me, so I did the swabs, will know in two weeks. Insurance won't cover a full genetic analysis, but this will be enough.
1. Go up on the Wellbutrin.
2. Keep taking the Wellbutrin as in, and add Lamotrigine to take at bedtime to stabilize my moods.
I opted for the second option. I've never really heard anything about Lamotrigine in particular, so if anyone has been on it and has some idea what to expect, let me know.
The doctor also wanted to do a gene test to get a better idea what would actually work for me, so I did the swabs, will know in two weeks. Insurance won't cover a full genetic analysis, but this will be enough.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Almost shot myself in the head tonight.
I'm so tired of everything.
I'm so tired of everything.
Got the job offer today.
So glad to hear it, Bagels
I'm sorry you're in a low spot, Xun. If at all possible I'd advise staying away from alcohol - it's a bum deal that usually leaves us in an even lower spot.
It depends, Desperado, and it may be worth searching around for others' advice on it. Often there's a part of the application or post-acceptance paperwork process where one can confidentially disclose a disability, and that's usually where I first introduce my anxiety. I did have one job where I was not presented with an opportunity like that, and in that case I went and spoke to the HR person after I was hired.
The key is to have a good idea of what you need to thrive; I don't think it makes much difference to the employer whether your emotions go this way or that way as long as they know they can count on you and can help you do your best.
Yes, I took Lamotrigine (aka Lamictal) for a while. It can definitely elevate and stabilize moods, and is very good for that, just know that it's a bit difficult to titrate on to so you will have to take it slowly - usually +25mg every two weeks or something like that. The standard mood stabilization dose is 200mg, though it is possible to go much higher and some people who use it primarily for depression find it effective at lower than 200mg.
Side effects wise it isn't too bad. The reason you have to go slow titrating up is that there's a very, very small chance of an allergic reaction of sorts that can be serious. Other than that it made my skin sort of sensitive so I had to switch body wash. That's it. Honestly the hardest part is getting onto it - it made my moods a bit funky for a day or two each time I upped the dose, but I always leveled off quickly.
Please, please seek emergency mental health care immediately, RoyaleDuke. Call 1 (800) 273-8255, go to an emergency room, or both. There are some good options for care not far from where you are. We don't want to lose you.
<3
Thank you all for posting here. I typically lurk and love GAF, but this thread in particular has helped me with my own mental illnesses. If not for this thread, I don't know if I would have ever started seeing a CBT or taking medications.
Unfortunately, I've hit some long term financial difficulties and I haven't seen my CBT in months. I've fallen back into a deep depression from my normal day-to-day mild depression, no doubt in part due to too much self-medication and the general state of my life (Long story short: the startup I was working for folded, still owing money to all employees, and I just had to vacate my apartment as my lease was up. Ex-GF got engaged, and I haven't seen anyone seriously since we broke up.)
This morning my normal self-loathing took an unexpected turn; its primary target is the self-hate. Learning to love myself is important if I'm ever going to be able to accomplish my life goals, so I'm trying to take advantage of this odd emotional state and figure out how I can start to love myself. I'm poking around online, but I'm hoping that someone here can point me in the right direction or share their own experiences.
Unfortunately, I've hit some long term financial difficulties and I haven't seen my CBT in months. I've fallen back into a deep depression from my normal day-to-day mild depression, no doubt in part due to too much self-medication and the general state of my life (Long story short: the startup I was working for folded, still owing money to all employees, and I just had to vacate my apartment as my lease was up. Ex-GF got engaged, and I haven't seen anyone seriously since we broke up.)
This morning my normal self-loathing took an unexpected turn; its primary target is the self-hate. Learning to love myself is important if I'm ever going to be able to accomplish my life goals, so I'm trying to take advantage of this odd emotional state and figure out how I can start to love myself. I'm poking around online, but I'm hoping that someone here can point me in the right direction or share their own experiences.
Hey all. Hope everyone's been doing well.
I'm getting off of Effexor which I was on not for MH purposes but for migraines. I'm tapering slowly but the "brain zap" withdrawal effects are unpleasant. Anyone have experience with these withdrawal effects and how long they persist?
I'm getting off of Effexor which I was on not for MH purposes but for migraines. I'm tapering slowly but the "brain zap" withdrawal effects are unpleasant. Anyone have experience with these withdrawal effects and how long they persist?
User 479360
Banned
I hope your zaps won't last long, Max. I've heard of them, but have never dealt with them.
I've been up and down as per usual. Still wish I was dead.
My Mom's coming home from the hospital, today, so that's exciting. They were going to let her out earlier this week, but when they did a CT scan they noticed fluid around her lung. They wanted to drain it, but couldn't get the tube in. There's no infection, though, as far as I know and hope.
I hope they can get rid of the fluid some other way. She has to come home on oxygen, though, which sucks. She only needs 0.5 litres, but it helps keep her SAT level normal.
We're lucky she's still alive.
Thanks to you all for the thoughts and prayers.
I've been up and down as per usual. Still wish I was dead.
My Mom's coming home from the hospital, today, so that's exciting. They were going to let her out earlier this week, but when they did a CT scan they noticed fluid around her lung. They wanted to drain it, but couldn't get the tube in. There's no infection, though, as far as I know and hope.
I hope they can get rid of the fluid some other way. She has to come home on oxygen, though, which sucks. She only needs 0.5 litres, but it helps keep her SAT level normal.
We're lucky she's still alive.
Thanks to you all for the thoughts and prayers.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
.
Yeah, the instructions were to take one pill for the first three days (I don't have the bottle in front of me so I forget the mg), then move up to two and stay at that.
SeriousApes
Member
I took a week off from work for my birthday, but I didn't do anything really. I didn't go anywhere - I mostly stayed in my apartment alone. I did go on a solo hike a few days ago to take some photos and chill out in nature, but otherwise, I've just been a sloth.
It's weird, the days just blend together and I've been sleeping a lot. Feels like I just wasted my week and I go back to work tomorrow. I could've gone somewhere... but I figured if I really wanted to go somewhere, I would have. Maybe I just needed some time away from work and people.
I didn't even work on my painting that I've been procrastinating on.
That's the thing that sucks about depression. It's hard to find the motivation to do things, but not doing things makes me feel worse.
It's weird, the days just blend together and I've been sleeping a lot. Feels like I just wasted my week and I go back to work tomorrow. I could've gone somewhere... but I figured if I really wanted to go somewhere, I would have. Maybe I just needed some time away from work and people.
I didn't even work on my painting that I've been procrastinating on.
That's the thing that sucks about depression. It's hard to find the motivation to do things, but not doing things makes me feel worse.
RoyaleDuke
Banned
Hey Piano and guys.
Just checking in, told my parents about what happened last night.
Things are okay.
I managed to keep myself from making a huge, irrevocable mistake.
Now I just feel numb.
Just checking in, told my parents about what happened last night.
Things are okay.
I managed to keep myself from making a huge, irrevocable mistake.
Now I just feel numb.
I've basically been doing a lot of written thought records.
It sucks to write your thoughts out on paper, but then when you work your way through the "evidence that does NOT support the thought" section, you feel a bit better.
Mine lasted a couple weeks. At first it was every 30 seconds. It. Sucked. Can't remember what I went off of that caused it but I was super stupid and dropped it cold turkey. Not smart.
Collete
Member
I don't think anyone remembers me, but I'm just gonna leave a small mini update since I left GAF.
It's been 3 years approximately since I left my ex and my life was slowly going into a downward spiral of no return with MDD and GAD in each hand.
I know a lot of you witnessed that and I even pushed some of you people away.
But...within the past year or so, I've had some changes going on. I'm trying to get my freelance business up and running, I wrote 2 rough drafts of 2 different novels, I talk to new people each day, I'm starting to sell my art
, and now I might potentially be asked out by some people.
I won't go into detail of how this happened but...be open to things life throws at you. Don't immediately reject something that you might think is poisonous to your life. Maybe it might be the thing that saves you.
It was for me.
It's been 3 years approximately since I left my ex and my life was slowly going into a downward spiral of no return with MDD and GAD in each hand.
I know a lot of you witnessed that and I even pushed some of you people away.
But...within the past year or so, I've had some changes going on. I'm trying to get my freelance business up and running, I wrote 2 rough drafts of 2 different novels, I talk to new people each day, I'm starting to sell my art
...Few sales though
I won't go into detail of how this happened but...be open to things life throws at you. Don't immediately reject something that you might think is poisonous to your life. Maybe it might be the thing that saves you.
It was for me.
LordAmused
Member
Hello! This is my first time posting in this thread but I've subbed a few months ago.
I would like to know you guys' opinion on Zoloft? I am currently going through a rough patch and I was prescribed those on a 100mg daily dose, from 25 to 50 to 75....
And how is the aftermath, when you stop taking them?
I would like to know you guys' opinion on Zoloft? I am currently going through a rough patch and I was prescribed those on a 100mg daily dose, from 25 to 50 to 75....
And how is the aftermath, when you stop taking them?
Teriyaki Blues
Member
Having a bit of a breakdown here. Walgreens (or our insurance) suddenly decided that my IBS maintenance medication needs to triple in price. I need this medication to live any semblance of a normal life, and I switched to this one in part to cut the cost for my breadwinner spouse. Spouse is otherwise awesome, but sometimes a little absentminded, and I just start crying every time I have an expensive medication and they come home and ask me in that semi-accusative tone, "Did you know that your medication is hella expensive?", which just starts the negative feedback loop in my depression. And then the next month they forget that we had the conversation/crying/suicidal impulses and do it again, and I just can't take it anymore.
Luckily, I saved the slip from last month that has the old price on it, so hopefully we'll be able to work with Walgreens/insurance to bust it back down. I might have to get the medication through the insurance company's mail delivery, but it is a temperature sensitive medication (can't get too hot or too cold) and we live in motherfucking Arizona, so I'd like to avoid that route if possible.
ETA: I didn't realize how much better just typing it out would make me feel! Thanks, mental health GAF!
@LordAmused - I've been on Zoloft a couple of times in the last 20 years, and the lowest dose just makes me high as a kite. Never had a bad withdrawal from it, but if you're on the highest dose, you're going to want to taper back down gradually. Work with your doctor or therapist!
Luckily, I saved the slip from last month that has the old price on it, so hopefully we'll be able to work with Walgreens/insurance to bust it back down. I might have to get the medication through the insurance company's mail delivery, but it is a temperature sensitive medication (can't get too hot or too cold) and we live in motherfucking Arizona, so I'd like to avoid that route if possible.
ETA: I didn't realize how much better just typing it out would make me feel! Thanks, mental health GAF!
@LordAmused - I've been on Zoloft a couple of times in the last 20 years, and the lowest dose just makes me high as a kite. Never had a bad withdrawal from it, but if you're on the highest dose, you're going to want to taper back down gradually. Work with your doctor or therapist!
Effexor is pretty awful to get off from :/ I followed my doctor's instructions and tapered off very slowly. I think it was an 8 week process. I got brain zaps throughout, and they persisted for a week or so after I had finished with the medication for good. They were definitely worse when I began, but as I proceeded with tapering off, they slowly got better. I also found that I was most affected in the mornings. It varies from person to person, and is affected by how high your dosage was and how long you were on it. Best of luck, you can get through this!
I'm sorry you are in a difficult place. Telling your parents took courage, and it was the right thing to do. Opening up to people you trust and admitting you need help can be a crucial first step. You don't need to go at this alone. Stay strong
Lord Morairty007
Member
Its my five year in college(I have panic disorder). I'm so depressed and its showing in class. I can't get my head in the game.....I'm so burnt out in life and I haven't finished college yet.
P.S The cost of college in the U.S is a joke! Fuck you UCF and the state of FL. I was forced to live here for a couple years and now I can't go back to my home state in Colorado to get instate intuition .
P.S The cost of college in the U.S is a joke! Fuck you UCF and the state of FL. I was forced to live here for a couple years and now I can't go back to my home state in Colorado to get instate intuition .
God fuck insurance.
This reminds me, I have been to hell and back ever since I got on my new insurance in December.
Back in December I paid my first premium, seemed to go okay. It wasn't collected immediately. Then we're halfway through January and I haven't gotten a bill, cards, or anything yet. Then I get a letter from the insurance company saying I entered my payment information, but my payment wasn't collected because of a problem with their payment system. They said it would be soon, and I could file for reimbursement for any medications I needed.
So I needed to pick up a prescription (allergy medicine), and it was $115 out of pocket. I paid it, filed for reimbursement. I had checked before I picked this insurance plan that it was covered.
File for reimbursement, a week or two later I get a letter saying it's denied and applied toward a deductible. At this point I'm like "WTF, there was no fucking deductible and this shit should have been covered?!" I call them and ask what happened, and they tell me that mine was the "0.5", instead of the other ones, therefore it's a Tier C and goes toward the deductible.
A month later I need to go pick up my Wellbutrin. I go to pick it up, and suddenly, my insurance is rejected. I had autopay on, and didn't see a single bill, what the fuck happened. I call my insurance, they tell me all because of the payment system screwup in December, it acted like I didn't pay for the next month, even though I did, and terminated my account. They restored it, it worked.
The next months, this happens AGAIN. I call the insurance, furious at this point, and tell them what happened. They fix it, tell me it should at the very least work for the next 24 hours. I go back up to the counter and....it doesn't fucking work. I call them again, I'm getting very angry with them at this point, explain the situation once again, take the guy on the phone's name down. I'm on hold for 15 minutes again while they fix it, and this time when they come back I tell them they are going to stay on the phone with me while I pay the $5 for my medication. It finally works. I was guaranteed that this would not happen again.
The other day I had my Lamotrigine to pick up. I go to pick it up and....insurance denied, unpaid premiums. So I ask for a piece of paper and a pen, call the company once again. I explain the whole situation, how this has happened every single month, I'm sick and tired of it, I want it fixed and I want it fixed for good.
This time, their autopay system fucked up (keep in mind I STILL have not seen any bills) and didn't collect my payment for March or April. I WAS TOLD LAST TIME I WAS ON AUTOPAY SO IT WOULD BE FINE THAT I HAD NO BILLS. They acknowledged it was their fault, but then an even larger curveball came: They told me that I made an $804 payment earlier. At this point I actually asked the rep "Is this a joke?" I told them I did no such thing, and wanted to know what the hell happened. Well he put me on hold, and said he was talking to the billing supervisor or something.
About 10 minutes pass, the rep comes back and tells me he's got the billing manager on the line and he's going to have me talk to him. The billing manager explains to me that the autopayment system screwed up, and my money wasn't collected for two months. He told me I could make the payment now and it would be fine, and just when I get a chance delete my autopay and set it up again. He said this was their fault. I asked about the $800 and he investigated that. That was apparently someone else's payment intended for their account. They asked me if I had ever been associated with a last name that I wasn't associated with at all, located in Florida. So some poor guy in Florida was probably wondering where the hell his $800 went! United Healthcare is fucking incompetent when it comes to billing!
I asked him if this would ever happen again, and he said "theoretically it should never happen again". I'm sure I'll be back on the phone with these people. I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, and will be going to the Texas Insurance Commissioner. What a joke.
cpp_is_king
Member
In my never ending quest to figure out what the hell is wrong with me, i think I might have borderline personality disorder.
Anyone have experience dealing with this?
I don't know how i never saw this before.
Lucky for me, all sites suggest it's untreatable, which means I just get to go on being an asshole and there's nothing i can do about it.
I'm seeing my psychiatrist in a week and we're supposed to talk about what medicine to start me on for symptoms of depression/adhd. Do I mention this new revelation I've had? If the doctor agrees they may decide to prescribe nothing since it's "untreatable", which would be a shame since I want to try something new
Anyone have experience dealing with this?
I don't know how i never saw this before.
Lucky for me, all sites suggest it's untreatable, which means I just get to go on being an asshole and there's nothing i can do about it.
I'm seeing my psychiatrist in a week and we're supposed to talk about what medicine to start me on for symptoms of depression/adhd. Do I mention this new revelation I've had? If the doctor agrees they may decide to prescribe nothing since it's "untreatable", which would be a shame since I want to try something new
Fudgepuppy
Banned
Oh shit I'm breaking down right now.
A girl I met at work three months ago, I fell hard for her. She was super flirty to me because as she says, she loves the attention.
I go to a party with her, a guy from work that's an alcoholic threatens to beat the shit out of her and then his friend locks her in their room, holding her hostage.
She gets out fine, but is super traumatized of them.
Then I have a party, another guy makes out with her, I drag her to the side and tell her how I feel. She feels so bad because of it as she knows she lead me on. She says she can't feel love anymore after being broken so many times.
Then today, I realize she's started hooking up with the alcoholic, I saw them holding hands and hugging during the break.
I'm choking myself right now with a belt, I just can't deal with it anymore.
A girl I met at work three months ago, I fell hard for her. She was super flirty to me because as she says, she loves the attention.
I go to a party with her, a guy from work that's an alcoholic threatens to beat the shit out of her and then his friend locks her in their room, holding her hostage.
She gets out fine, but is super traumatized of them.
Then I have a party, another guy makes out with her, I drag her to the side and tell her how I feel. She feels so bad because of it as she knows she lead me on. She says she can't feel love anymore after being broken so many times.
Then today, I realize she's started hooking up with the alcoholic, I saw them holding hands and hugging during the break.
I'm choking myself right now with a belt, I just can't deal with it anymore.
Lionheart1827
Member
I don't think anyone remembers me, but I'm just gonna leave a small mini update since I left GAF.
It's been 3 years approximately since I left my ex and my life was slowly going into a downward spiral of no return with MDD and GAD in each hand.
I know a lot of you witnessed that and I even pushed some of you people away.
But...within the past year or so, I've had some changes going on. I'm trying to get my freelance business up and running, I wrote 2 rough drafts of 2 different novels, I talk to new people each day, I'm starting to sell my art, and now I might potentially be asked out by some people....Few sales though
I won't go into detail of how this happened but...be open to things life throws at you. Don't immediately reject something that you might think is poisonous to your life. Maybe it might be the thing that saves you.
It was for me.
I remember ya, all that cool art you posted
I'm glad you seemed to have made a good turn around. You never really know whats around the corner. Keep kicking ass!Nothing is untreatable. You might not be able to get medication for it--but medication is only a single step to mental wellness. Behavioral therapy and actively learning how to take better reigns over your emotions is treatment. Talk to your psychiatrist about it, and they'll likely recommend therapy.
Just remember, medication is not the end-all-be-all. It's not going to fix all of your problems, and you need to put a lot of hard work into your mental health. It's not easy, but there's not really a shortcut. Keeping track of how you're feeling and what led to those feelings can help a lot, and taking time out of your day to meditate/get to a quiet place away from people can go miles to making coping easier.
I don't think anyone remembers me, but I'm just gonna leave a small mini update since I left GAF.
It's been 3 years approximately since I left my ex and my life was slowly going into a downward spiral of no return with MDD and GAD in each hand.
I know a lot of you witnessed that and I even pushed some of you people away.
But...within the past year or so, I've had some changes going on. I'm trying to get my freelance business up and running, I wrote 2 rough drafts of 2 different novels, I talk to new people each day, I'm starting to sell my art, and now I might potentially be asked out by some people....Few sales though
I won't go into detail of how this happened but...be open to things life throws at you. Don't immediately reject something that you might think is poisonous to your life. Maybe it might be the thing that saves you.
It was for me.
I think I remember you.
It's nice to see some people from the old thread days stop by to say they are doing better! I don't think anyone ever really gets cured, and there ar plenty of people still struggling, but I also know a lot of people from this community who are in much better places now, mentally and physically.
Onward and upward!
User 479360
Banned
My Mom was released from hospital after four weeks, and it's nice to have her home. In a way. I love her very much, want to be able to spend time with her, and it's nice to not have to drive into the hospital every day.
However, having her home reminds me that she's not the same as she was and may not have a long life ahead of her. It saddens me, scares the absolute hell out of me and sickens me. I hate this. I hate life. I don't want any part of it anymore. Just shoot me now.
They did a CT scan and didn't see any cancer in her one remaining lung, which is good. However, there's fluid around it and they couldn't drain it because she can't stand. They did take some to test, and they don't think it's infected. Thankfully. But I wish they could get rid of it, because it's putting pressure on her lung.
She's not eating a lot, gets tired easily and isn't as spry as she was even in the hospital. She's coughing a lot again, and says it's in her throat, which means her post nasal drip is probably back.
What the fuck did we do to deserve this? We're good people. She did everything she could for her family, including extended family, and fought for the rights of disabled people. It's not fair, and I can't go on without her.
However, having her home reminds me that she's not the same as she was and may not have a long life ahead of her. It saddens me, scares the absolute hell out of me and sickens me. I hate this. I hate life. I don't want any part of it anymore. Just shoot me now.
They did a CT scan and didn't see any cancer in her one remaining lung, which is good. However, there's fluid around it and they couldn't drain it because she can't stand. They did take some to test, and they don't think it's infected. Thankfully. But I wish they could get rid of it, because it's putting pressure on her lung.
She's not eating a lot, gets tired easily and isn't as spry as she was even in the hospital. She's coughing a lot again, and says it's in her throat, which means her post nasal drip is probably back.
What the fuck did we do to deserve this? We're good people. She did everything she could for her family, including extended family, and fought for the rights of disabled people. It's not fair, and I can't go on without her.
Always check goodrx.com for coupons on drugs before buying.
What's the success rate for something like NA versus something like outpatient counseling at a university? Addict close to me is definitely spiraling, most likely physically addicted. Has been abusing for several months with increasing severity. He has started stealing as of today.
Trying to convince his family he needs medical detox, but they want to hold off on that.
Trying to convince his family he needs medical detox, but they want to hold off on that.
Teriyaki Blues
Member
While I appreciate the attempt, it is Linzess. Already have a coupon in their system from my GI, and my insurance does knock the price down quite a bit. IBS specific meds are still too new to have generic versions for everything but the anti-spasmodics (which are hella cheap and also are libido enhancers). If we can't get the old price after jumping through the hoops this month, I'll probably quit taking it and look for something OTC to help with um, the "humectant" qualities instead.
Haven't posted here in a while, I apologize.
I finally have insurance, this time it's under me and I pay for it so I don't worry about it lapsing because of mom or anything. I still need to find a therapist that works under it.
I've been physically and mentally exhausted lately. I find myself sleeping most of the day between my work shifts and work tires me out even more as of late. I've been relying on my hobbies to cheer me up a bit and take my mind off things, but I find myself getting made fun of by my friends/boyfriend because of it.
I usually don't mind little friendly jabs at stuff but it's just been stacking and stacking and even when I've tried to be semi serious about asking them to stop they keep at it. I haven't talked to my boyfriend since thursday. I'm probably acting like a baby, but I've honestly been picked on/bullied my whole life and it just feels like an extension of it.
I wish I could be stronger and stand up for myself with these things and especially at work most days but I'm so weak willed and timid there's no point. When I get in these moods I also feel like the biggest nuisance.
I'm finding my self hatred getting worse as well. I still haven't cut for around 7 months now but somedays I feel like it. I feel like my sexuality has tied into it as well, I've been feeling really ashamed of myself. I feel uncomfortable whenever the subject is brought up, I don't like discussing it. I really truly wish I was just straight some days so I wouldn't feel so bad about it but I know that's not the solution.
Sorry, I didn't mean to type so much. Tonight has just been especially bad.
I finally have insurance, this time it's under me and I pay for it so I don't worry about it lapsing because of mom or anything. I still need to find a therapist that works under it.
I've been physically and mentally exhausted lately. I find myself sleeping most of the day between my work shifts and work tires me out even more as of late. I've been relying on my hobbies to cheer me up a bit and take my mind off things, but I find myself getting made fun of by my friends/boyfriend because of it.
I usually don't mind little friendly jabs at stuff but it's just been stacking and stacking and even when I've tried to be semi serious about asking them to stop they keep at it. I haven't talked to my boyfriend since thursday. I'm probably acting like a baby, but I've honestly been picked on/bullied my whole life and it just feels like an extension of it.
I wish I could be stronger and stand up for myself with these things and especially at work most days but I'm so weak willed and timid there's no point. When I get in these moods I also feel like the biggest nuisance.
I'm finding my self hatred getting worse as well. I still haven't cut for around 7 months now but somedays I feel like it. I feel like my sexuality has tied into it as well, I've been feeling really ashamed of myself. I feel uncomfortable whenever the subject is brought up, I don't like discussing it. I really truly wish I was just straight some days so I wouldn't feel so bad about it but I know that's not the solution.
Sorry, I didn't mean to type so much. Tonight has just been especially bad.
Lionheart1827
Member
I think if you were gonna tell anyone about it, it should be your therapist, that way they can treat you better.
User 479360
Banned
I feel sick, tired (little sleep, fatigue), broken, defeated, fucked over and done with it. I just wish I had the balls to do something about it. I don't think I could ever kill myself, but I don't know how I'm going to continue on through this agony and torture.
If the way your boyfriend treats you feels like an extension of bullying I'd seriously re-consider that relationship. That does not sound healthy at all, and that type of "banter" or "humour" doesn't sound like it's on your wavelength at all.
don't know if it has been posted yet but I've found this site really helpful in someways
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
https://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
- Status