I was listening to a excellent Dan Carlin Hardcore History episode on this yesterday, about this subject of toughness;
http://www.dancarlin.com/product/hardcore-history-33-blitz-old-school-toughness/
Carlin asks; Could we beat our grandparents in war? If technology, numbers and everything being equal, coming down to it, would we today have the same level of toughness as our grandparents had to endure during WW2.
And he goes further than that; would our grandparents generation have been as tough as their grandparents?
Going back to Sparta where you would throw a baby off the cliff if it didn't got through inspection, because the Spartans as a Warrior society had neither number, trade or anything that made them great against the other city states. Their only currency was having the best soldiers, and so Carlin says that being uncompromisingly tough was a question of national security.
The way I look at it; Washing out is not a sign of weakness, as much as it is a sign of lacking extremism. I believe it is a normal psychological response to cry, to not want to do things when you are pushed to the brim.
What is fascinating about units like the Navy Seals is all the mythos, coping strategy and means of attack that is attributed with them being able to endure things normal people wouldn't.
And I think that goes on in other aspects life of life, including sports. If you think about it; professional athletes are people who take repetitive and isolated training to levels where their bodies are often pushed beyond the brink of what it is capable off. They keep doing it, long after it stopped being fun as a recreational activity due to the goal.
Where "normal people" want to live their lives, have social lives, eat hamburgers and drink beer, athletes are often giving up so many things, including prospect of their long-term health for something almost asine.
I think it is not being normal to have those qualities that you can endure that level of stress.
Do we still see the value in that sort of old-school toughness, and is there an argument to be made that being a more caring society makes us more soft?
My own personal bias says that the laws of patriarchy has been usurped to an extent that we don't have that connection anymore as previous generations might have had who lived in dangerous and violent times and had to cope with insanely grueling things. On the other hand, I think our generation has gained a lot of skills in other areas that make more sense.
I also wonder if history is biased. Maybe soldiers and Marlboro-style tough John Wayne type men have always been a dime in dozen. Maybe there has always been people who just couldn't cope. And which maybe was just downplayed because awareness of mental health and trauma was a lot less.
If you raise your kids in a harsh manner, do you really make them tough in any way that gives value to that word?