Dating-Age |OT5| Halp me pls. In the bathroom.
- Thread starter Septimius
- Start date
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Messofanego
Banned
Don't take days off from work for a date lol, that's as bad as those people who take a day off to play the latest videogame. At least there's no fail rate on the latter. But taking a day off work just for this makes it seem desperate imo. Anyway, she seems like one to drop if she's coming up with excuses all the time. I've dropped those people before, not worth your time.
Seeking Friendship |OT| It's Not Dating, Honest
They disappear.
Gotdatmoney
Member
If that makes you happy sure lol. But if not then maybe take steps to get better?
I understand sometimes people need to wallow for a bit but damn. Yall have nothing to gain by giving up on something that doesn't require anything other than be a better.person. if you go hermit you gon stop tryimg to improve?
AdventureRacing
Member
Depends on the person. A lot of my female friends don't like when they're called because it really puts them on the spot and forces a response. A text lets them decide in their own time pressure free. In general i think for better or worse most people just prefer organising this type of thing through text.
So I'm goin to a nerd thing today lol. Same girl I just posted about, she's leaving town for a few weeks soon so we wanted to get another date in before that. Meeting her at her place immediately after I finish work then a few hours later gonna go get lunch and hit up the bi-weekly Smash Bros tournament (same venue). Guess it's kind of an odd choice but I'm not gonna commit to stick around for the whole thing most likely and she said she wants to come when I mentioned it offhand. Then we're going back to her place for Netflix and chill.
Gonna be a fun day 🙏
Gonna be a fun day 🙏
TerminalDogma
Member
This is a cross post from the Online Dating thread, but it's probably more applicable to this thread anyhow:
Hey GAF, I recently made some pretty big life changes and dropped off from the dating scene for the last few months while going through these changes-namely quitting my job to pursue acting and moving back to NJ and into my mother's house. I'm still not entirely settled in yet (don't have any kind of part time job currently, and I'm in the process of losing some weight but haven't had any real progress yet). It may just be all the extra time I've got right now, but I've had that dating itch start getting at me the last few days.
I suppose my question is, how badly are my chances of finding a date if I am currently unemployed (though I have enough money saved up right now to last me a few months without any kind of cash flow) and living in my mom's house? In my mind these are huge detriments and a major step back from where I've been before, but maybe that is just me overthinking things? Give it to me straight, GAF. Should I hold off on entering the dating scene again until I'm employed (this would only be a part time job, just enough to pay bills while I pursue acting) and moved out, or is it not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be?
Hey GAF, I recently made some pretty big life changes and dropped off from the dating scene for the last few months while going through these changes-namely quitting my job to pursue acting and moving back to NJ and into my mother's house. I'm still not entirely settled in yet (don't have any kind of part time job currently, and I'm in the process of losing some weight but haven't had any real progress yet). It may just be all the extra time I've got right now, but I've had that dating itch start getting at me the last few days.
I suppose my question is, how badly are my chances of finding a date if I am currently unemployed (though I have enough money saved up right now to last me a few months without any kind of cash flow) and living in my mom's house? In my mind these are huge detriments and a major step back from where I've been before, but maybe that is just me overthinking things? Give it to me straight, GAF. Should I hold off on entering the dating scene again until I'm employed (this would only be a part time job, just enough to pay bills while I pursue acting) and moved out, or is it not as big a deal as I'm making it out to be?
I guess it depends on how old you are.
The lack of job can easily be explained by you moving back to Jersey (eww), so I wouldn't worry about that. The living with your mom, it hasn't been a big deal in my experience. The woman usually don't care. I mean, it does sucks not being able to exactly bring someone home, but you will survive.
So put me in the overthinking camp. But if you do get into the dating scene, I would suggest doing cheap dates. Dates can add up quickly.
The lack of job can easily be explained by you moving back to Jersey (eww), so I wouldn't worry about that. The living with your mom, it hasn't been a big deal in my experience. The woman usually don't care. I mean, it does sucks not being able to exactly bring someone home, but you will survive.
So put me in the overthinking camp. But if you do get into the dating scene, I would suggest doing cheap dates. Dates can add up quickly.
Being unemployed can suck, and only gets worse the longer you stay bored. Keep an active a social life as you can afford. It will help keep you normal.
TerminalDogma
Member
Right, I'm 27 (soon to be 28). I don't plan on being unemployed for long (who does, really?), but right now that's the situation.
Not exactly an attractive look.
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Cobalt Izuna, let's make a Friendship |OT| together! I don't have any threads, so no bad reputations here
We can call it
Friendship |OT| No, you weren't dated
or
Friendship |OT| Dammit, platonic relationships can exist
or
Friendship |OT| Without the benefits
or something
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
So I went on two dates with this lady I met on Tinder, I am not really into her, but I just played along (I knwo my bad)
She seems to be into me. where I think there's really nothing special going on between us (she's forcing it a bit too much)
Anyway, this past Monday, we kind of planned our third date which is to take place on Thursday (tomorrow).
I really want to end it, for the first time I decided to not answer to her text today, I was just getting well annoyed of her cringy, lovey-dovey text (Her tone in the text is a lil too aggressive, as if we've been dating for months, where as we were on just two dates)
I feel like a cunt for ignoring her 5th text today.
I want to call her to end it, but I am feeling really cowardly and shitty right now...
Any suggestions GAF? I hate being put in this position, but I gotta man up and do it.
She seems to be into me. where I think there's really nothing special going on between us (she's forcing it a bit too much)
Anyway, this past Monday, we kind of planned our third date which is to take place on Thursday (tomorrow).
I really want to end it, for the first time I decided to not answer to her text today, I was just getting well annoyed of her cringy, lovey-dovey text (Her tone in the text is a lil too aggressive, as if we've been dating for months, where as we were on just two dates)
I feel like a cunt for ignoring her 5th text today.
I want to call her to end it, but I am feeling really cowardly and shitty right now...
Any suggestions GAF? I hate being put in this position, but I gotta man up and do it.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Would text be okay though? I feel like a jerk if I do anything less than a phone call.
Is text "break up" appropriate? I quote break up, since I don't even consider us "dating" at this stage..
ZackieChan
Member
It's fine, you've only been on two dates. Don't make another date just to break up!
Had a...something...with a girl last Saturday. Don't know if it was a date or not. When I see her on Friday, I need to ask her out on a proper date. Only way to remove all doubt. Or I could just text her tomorrow, which is what you guys will likely tell me to do.
(For those curious - it started last Friday. A group of us were hanging out after a board game meetup. I asked her if she was doing anything this weekend, she said she was looking for someone to go to a play with her. I volunteered. Saturday we went to the play and got dinner afterwards. I drove/paid for dinner, she got the tickets. No touching or handholding, since I largely treated as two friends hanging out.)
(For those curious - it started last Friday. A group of us were hanging out after a board game meetup. I asked her if she was doing anything this weekend, she said she was looking for someone to go to a play with her. I volunteered. Saturday we went to the play and got dinner afterwards. I drove/paid for dinner, she got the tickets. No touching or handholding, since I largely treated as two friends hanging out.)
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Went out on a
date tonight and had a great experience: we talked about Game of Thrones and new jobs. Then, a girl sat down beside us, and I started practice flirting, because she bought us drinks for 2 hours and ultimately settled our $200+ tab, considering she worked for a liquor company. She also invited us out next Monday to a whisky bar, where she promised to continue to comp me. Towards the end, we were talking about travel and some personal stuff. Can't wait to see her again.
man
Purely for the free drinks and bro camaraderie, since another buddy's going with me. But it was really good to "practice flirt," fully knowing something's not going anywhere. I highly recommend it.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Done and done, texting seems a cop out, but it's definitely easier to do and I feel so liberated that I did it...
She hasn't replied back for over an half hour, not that I left the text open..."Good luck with everything, and thank you..._Johnny"
I don't think I'll ever hear back from her, not that it matters. But I hope she's not all pissed and devastated.
anyway, thanks for that extra push fellas, I needed it.
You'll find most girls end it thru text as well, it's not a bad way to go about it if it's only been a few dates. Makes the blow easier to take for both parties imo.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
My girlfriend of 5 months ended things via text. You were two dates in. Don't feel bad.
Johnny Cage In The Shower
Member
Thanks guys.. I indeed feel like a ton of weight has been lifted off my shoulders...
She was kind of a thin skinned, naive, insecure girl, and I hated every moment of "leading her on" by simply not saying anything.... When I knew I shoudl be ending it sooner than later.
ZackieChan
Member
I did some practice flirting in a line to get into a tiki bar in San Francisco, and it turned into a couple dates. Not giving a fuck about the outcome and removing any stink of desperation is apparently an attractive quality😉
Funny that...the number of fucks you see is inversely proportional to the number of fucks you give.
Giving too much of a fuck has always been my dating weakness. Even right now, I'm way too anxious over asking this girl out. I should just text her tomorrow and let the cards fall where they may.
ZackieChan
Member
Maybe ask a few other girls out around the same time.
I am, this is just the first time in a long time I'll have asked a girl out when there's a good chance we'll see each other frequently afterwards. So much easier to not give a shit about their reply when you know you'll never see them again.
edit: Scratch that, figured out exactly how to approach this to minimize potential awkwardness. Anxiety abated, problem solved!
ZackieChan
Member
Aight so follow up to this, mostly went how I expected, played well at the tourney which was cool and once I made it to Top 8 I dropped out so we could go eat and then head back. Once we got back to her place there was no Netflix, but looooots of chill.
Monday night after I left she said if I wanna keep this going and be more than friends her only thing is she wants to take is kinda slow and she'll make moves when she's ready so I'm like ok that's cool. When we got back to her place we cuddled/spooned for like two hours and I was about to get up around midnight 'cause she'd said she wants to sleep around that time and I also had work today anyway, but she pulls me back in and says not to leave yet and I'm like cool ok. Got pretty touchy, around 2:40 or so I put on a Yumi Zouma album and said I'll peace out when the music ends, but when it did and I said "the music ended" she grabs my hand and plants it on her ass and is like "but Sami what about this 😉" and I'm like wow that's really hot ok don't gotta tell me twice and hung out a while longer.
Idk it was pretty surreal I met her like three days ago and everything's going surprisingly awesome, it's such a great change of pace from the past year lol.
tearsofash
Member
Someone actually responded to me on Okcupid last night. We talked about transhumanism and mental health and it was pretty OK. I started out with an icebreaker because one of my friends is in the same college club she's in...but then she's like, "So was there something she wanted to talk about." So I panicked and told her I had a lot of anxiety and didn't really know what to talk about and that I'm really bad at this. She said she understood. We talked about some stuff, but then I drew blanks.
So I think I'm just going to call it a victory and stop responding.
So I think I'm just going to call it a victory and stop responding.
n64coder
Member
That's good that you're putting yourself out there and socializing. The only way to get better is practice. Keep it up!
The Lobster is just a weird movie. It would definitely leave a lot to talk about after.
Haha, in a good way?
It's a great film, imo. The comedy is dark as hell, and it's got a very unreal sense about it.
If you like it you'll have a lot to discuss, if you hate it there will be plenty to rag on.
Blitzrules240
Banned
Making plans to see her tomorrow. Bowling, maybe a brewery, chill with a movie at night. I'm trying not to think about the possibility of sex but I can't...
I'm gonna get sooo much shit for this but I need to stop seeing women as sexual conquest and more as companionship.
So I guess I'm gonna go in with no expectations tomorrow and just see where the vibes are by nights end.
I'm gonna get sooo much shit for this but I need to stop seeing women as sexual conquest and more as companionship.
So I guess I'm gonna go in with no expectations tomorrow and just see where the vibes are by nights end.
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
Dunno what to do GAF. Girl wants me to drive 50+ miles to come see her after work, and spend the night. But I get off at 1030, have to drive all the way over there in the rain, and be back at work at 9am to my other job, and then back to my other one for another 8 hours.
I would rather do this on my days off, but she is insisting because her roommate is gone for the weekend. And I don't know if I should, or just turn it down. :/
I would rather do this on my days off, but she is insisting because her roommate is gone for the weekend. And I don't know if I should, or just turn it down. :/
Dylan Sexbang
Banned
Same girl, she turned 18 a month ago. And ever since I turned her away cause age and age hit 18 she's been really determined for me to hang out-
Personally, I don't even know what I want aside from going to work every day and coming home every day. And I don't like being guilt tripped into driving 50+ miles. I said we could go get food and kick it on my day, but working two jobs doesn't give me a day off and that's my focus.
Personally, I don't even know what I want aside from going to work every day and coming home every day. And I don't like being guilt tripped into driving 50+ miles. I said we could go get food and kick it on my day, but working two jobs doesn't give me a day off and that's my focus.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Naw brah, hell naw.
Benzychenz
Member
Went on a first date last night.
Arranged through Tinder, but the girl recognised me from my work (I'm a waiter at a popular local restaurant). I had nfi who she was though.
We grabbed a couple drinks at a bar. It was nice and awkward, lots of silences, but I still feel like it went well. She was very sarcastic saying "shut up" and stuff to me when the convo died, and we had a bit of back and forth with the sarcastic comments which was fun, and is something I do to my friends constantly so I'm glad she has the same sense of humour.
Towards the end of the night she started playing footsies with my under the table so I guess she enjoyed herself too, but after I just ended up giving her a hug and saying we should do something fun next time.
So yeah, I'll invite her to something and if she accepts then I'm all in. Maybe bowling or something.
Arranged through Tinder, but the girl recognised me from my work (I'm a waiter at a popular local restaurant). I had nfi who she was though.
We grabbed a couple drinks at a bar. It was nice and awkward, lots of silences, but I still feel like it went well. She was very sarcastic saying "shut up" and stuff to me when the convo died, and we had a bit of back and forth with the sarcastic comments which was fun, and is something I do to my friends constantly so I'm glad she has the same sense of humour.
Towards the end of the night she started playing footsies with my under the table so I guess she enjoyed herself too, but after I just ended up giving her a hug and saying we should do something fun next time.
So yeah, I'll invite her to something and if she accepts then I'm all in. Maybe bowling or something.
HoopzBarkley
Member
So I met this girl on tinder and shes super awesome, we went on 4 dates so far and they have been great. She goes to school but outf state but not really insanely far, she wasn't really expecting to meet anyone off of tinder let alone go on dates since it was a joke. Anyway she brought up that she was unsure where it was going, but we have two more dates before she leaves. I don't know if ots too early or what but I really like her, I'm guessing unsure is basically not going any further than that? I'm 23 btw.
ZackieChan
Member
I once took an 11-hour bus ride to meet a girl in upstate NY. I met her online and she had a boyfriend. I spent the weekend up there with her and her boyfriend. I was such a sap back then (senior in HS).
You were already all in after the footsie. Should have escalated KINO - at least kissed her.
Benzychenz
Member
ZackieChan
Member
I know but I am terrible at this
You'll get better. No worries!
But girl playing footsie = at the very least you could kiss her. Move the date somewhere where you have a chance to be close.
Blitzrules240
Banned
I can't win DatingGAF...
Come back from Lunch, she texts me "I know you'll be upset but I've had a shitty week and my back is killing me. I'm gonna take a nap when I get home and text you later if I'm down to hang".
I texted back that I was somewhat upset but there's nothing I can do about it. But I also sent a second text saying I could come over if she wanted company after she's rested and we could talk and chill, we don't need to make a spectacle of it.
Is this a red flag? All the excuses, she seems sincere about it all and I enjoyed meeting her that I'm not ready to bail but fuck, I could use a win right about now.
Come back from Lunch, she texts me "I know you'll be upset but I've had a shitty week and my back is killing me. I'm gonna take a nap when I get home and text you later if I'm down to hang".
I texted back that I was somewhat upset but there's nothing I can do about it. But I also sent a second text saying I could come over if she wanted company after she's rested and we could talk and chill, we don't need to make a spectacle of it.
Is this a red flag? All the excuses, she seems sincere about it all and I enjoyed meeting her that I'm not ready to bail but fuck, I could use a win right about now.
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