EchoChamber
Member
Hopefully the rich dude isn't Johnny sins.
Relationship venting thread...help me GAF.
- Thread starter Terra
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Glory Fades
Banned
This is true, but when you reach a certain age, sometimes priorities change.
lightskintwin
Banned
I agree, but that's a different argument about who they settle down with. It doesn't mean that women are less into looks than men are.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Bingo! The missing link, I knew there was a reason something hadn't happened in these 5 years despite being a rich and successful friend and why he's paying to take her on a two week holiday.
This dude is in the friend zone and this is his attempt to get out. I personally know of less than dodgy guys that pull this sort of shit. Whether this is good news or bad news to you I'm not certain as it depends on the girl but if you come of of this unscathed do not under any circumstance trust that guy outside of extreme circumstances.
pics
Looks are a good entry point into a relationship, but if there was nothing else there that relationship is doomed to fail....hard.
lightskintwin
Banned
Obviously.
IMO, best post. So many people stirring the pot. It's natural to feel uncomfortable, but a relationship has to be built on trust. It's only been a month. Now if you have legitimate proof of cheating that's completely different.
Nathan_Drake
Member
lol. yeah let me jump on the rate me thread. I said she likes me, I am an insecure boy that can't take an internet/GAF tear down
that is true but not 27 or 31. Hell I am 34 and my girl is 26. It is hard for a single mother and I could see them wanting something more stable. My ex is dealing with that now (and not happy about the proposition of her having to probably go older while I am dating younger).
I agree with you 100%. But in a time of Tinder we are all looking at physical qualities and then picking who has chemistry with us and we like to be around.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
Pretty much women reach their sexual apex around their 30's men 18. It becomes very evident at that age and above.
lightskintwin
Banned
How does that prove they aren't into looks as much as men are though?
Principate
Saint Titanfall
I'm not saying their not. I'm saying they reach their max randiness so to speak later than men but they reach it all the same.
Nathan_Drake
Member
I really call BS on this. I had no idea what was going on at 18 and sucked at it. I am 34 and feel better than ever. The 30 something women I know and have known have nothing on 20 something women. I know that is something that gets thrown around but I can't take it serious.
The simple fact of the matter op is that not every woman is either A) completely trustworthy or B) completely untrustworthy. I mean just like everyone else they all fall on a spectrum somewhere between those two points and if you either are so jealous that you think they are all cheating OR so trusting that you think none ever will, you are kinda doing it wrong and setting yourself up for failure.
Given how new your relationship is you neither have to be extremely trusting or extremely jealous of this situation. Roll with how things go and see how you feel when the trip is over. I know it may be hard to parse your feelings when you are getting bad vibes but be honest with yourself and try to focus on whether those vibes are true red flags or just you worrying because you don't want to lose her.
Given how new your relationship is you neither have to be extremely trusting or extremely jealous of this situation. Roll with how things go and see how you feel when the trip is over. I know it may be hard to parse your feelings when you are getting bad vibes but be honest with yourself and try to focus on whether those vibes are true red flags or just you worrying because you don't want to lose her.
I know and is of the thought that no "man is" or "woman is".
I believe we are all humans and there are a lot of things that correlate with where we are, at the time being. I am getting more and more relaxed about this. I was upset yesterday and earlier today. But as time goes by, I just try to sit back and relax about pretty much everything. Thanks for the support, you who gave it.
I believe we are all humans and there are a lot of things that correlate with where we are, at the time being. I am getting more and more relaxed about this. I was upset yesterday and earlier today. But as time goes by, I just try to sit back and relax about pretty much everything. Thanks for the support, you who gave it.
The Shadow
Member
You've known her a month dude.
Just because this is repeated a lot, doesn't make it true. Citation needed.
Well the castle in the background is totally 10/10
If you are gonna call people out don't be so passive aggressive. And besides that, what is your point?
I understand this is probably something you don't want to even consider given your obvious infatuation but I think I would just bail in this scenario. There's no way for anyone here to definitively know whether they are up to any funky business but considering how insecure you are about the situation and how quickly you've become invested, it's probably something that's going to be playing on your mind for a while. Ideally, you'd have concrete proof that something or nothing happened and could go from there, but short of receiving that, you're probably going to have a hit to your confidence regardless of what the truth actually is, which won't exactly help the relationship develop further. It all doesn't sound worth it for something that began a mere month ago.
But it's up to you.
But it's up to you.
Probably could have been clearer - it was not meant to mean that only women fall on that spectrum. All people fall somewhere between total asshole and complete saint. The anonymity of the internet often leads to a binary talking points, but that is rarely ever truly applicable.
Good luck, hope things turn out the way you want them to be!
They sure don't. But I'd like to take a poll of everyone's SO in this thread and see if they agree with their partners going off on 2 week vacations/everything being paid for by the friend/sharing the same bed. It's not that it couldn't be just a platonic trip, it's just I don't know anyone who would even try to pull this with someone they cared about.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
I must admit, as a 34, I've noticed looks aren't that important to me anymore. I mean yeah, I want someone that's still physically attractive to ME.
1. If it was planned before, there isn't nothing you can do.
2. You met a month ago, this was planned well before you even came into the picture.
3. If she was going to do anything with him, she would have already after 5 years if this guy has been throwing around his money around at her. It means she ain't interested or guess what, They are just friends. This happens with a lot of guys and girls. I have friends who I go on some vacations without the SO when she isn't available to come. Why is she okay with it? Because I tell her about it and she herself is friends with everyone because I introduced her. Vice versa. Communication and honestly.
4. When you are concerned with looks, money, etc. It speaks more to your own insecurities. Not a bad thing to want to improve yourself(Desire to improve is hot), but you're not in competition with the guy unless you want to be. And since you refused to meet him, you don't even know what he is like.
5. Even if you have money, power, looks. Wouldn't you want to be in a relationship with someone who actually likes you for you? My friend had a date recently with a guy. Lawyer, bike, well built, etc. She liked everything he had till he mistreated a waiter for bringing out the wrong meal. She went from "I like his drive and motivation, this could work" to " He's an asshole and I'm never talking to him again".
2. You met a month ago, this was planned well before you even came into the picture.
3. If she was going to do anything with him, she would have already after 5 years if this guy has been throwing around his money around at her. It means she ain't interested or guess what, They are just friends. This happens with a lot of guys and girls. I have friends who I go on some vacations without the SO when she isn't available to come. Why is she okay with it? Because I tell her about it and she herself is friends with everyone because I introduced her. Vice versa. Communication and honestly.
4. When you are concerned with looks, money, etc. It speaks more to your own insecurities. Not a bad thing to want to improve yourself(Desire to improve is hot), but you're not in competition with the guy unless you want to be. And since you refused to meet him, you don't even know what he is like.
5. Even if you have money, power, looks. Wouldn't you want to be in a relationship with someone who actually likes you for you? My friend had a date recently with a guy. Lawyer, bike, well built, etc. She liked everything he had till he mistreated a waiter for bringing out the wrong meal. She went from "I like his drive and motivation, this could work" to " He's an asshole and I'm never talking to him again".
Glory Fades
Banned
Thats what I was saying earlier. As you get older, it shifts.
neurosyphilis
Definitely not an STD, as I'm a pure.
LOL, I don't think so. And sharing a bed with another boy ? Hell no, dump her ass.
-d0hv
I think it's true. I married my wife when she was 21, and I was 29, the close she has gotten to 30, the more her sex drive has amped up. She would easily have sex 2+ times every night now, and that has not always been the case. Sample size of one, I know, but it definitely mirrors my experience.
MulderYuffie
Member
Dude....
WTF!?
WTF!?
IISANDERII
Member
He's a rich guy but the trip can't be cancelled? Seems legit
j0hnnix
Member
Uh oh. OP I think the guy she's with is a Gaffer! He just posted he's falling in love with a girl he's been friends with forever.
http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1261737
http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1261737
Since they share a luxurious appartment, the place can possible also have a luxurious couch where one could crash on?
I mean saying not to worry, but seemingly not taking any steps to avoid the sleeping in bed together is dissapointing, imo.
Just talk to her and see what she says when they arrive.
I mean saying not to worry, but seemingly not taking any steps to avoid the sleeping in bed together is dissapointing, imo.
Just talk to her and see what she says when they arrive.
Dude even have her go on vacation with another dude is sus what does he possibly have to gain from spending all this money to hang out with a "friend" there's only one answer. Even if they are not having sex wtf do you feel comfortable with some other dude taking your girl out? Doesnt it make you feel like you cant provide for her? At any rate its a month you can still cut that b off man, buy of course try talkimg to her first
Calamari41
41 > 38
A girl I was seeing went on a similar already-planned "obligatory" trip with an old male friend, a couple of months into our relationship. They're married now.
If she were serious, she wouldn't have gone. It's not hard to tell the guy to find someone else to go with.
If she were serious, she wouldn't have gone. It's not hard to tell the guy to find someone else to go with.
Letting your girl go with Pachi is like loaning your shirt to your older brother. When you get it back, it's all stretched out and some things aren't even in the same place anymore.
Pachi's an Apex Predator.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't stop a horse named Pachi from hollowing out your girl.
Words to live by.
Pachi's an Apex Predator.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't stop a horse named Pachi from hollowing out your girl.
Words to live by.
Principate
Saint Titanfall
We're talking about hormone levels here not experience with sex. The fact you had no idea what your doing at 18 and sucked at it has little do with hormone levels being pump around.
They share beds and he makes her feel special. Did she take a new wardrobe of sexy clothes and underwear? Is she trimming down there especially for the trip? Sorry OP, highly suspect she's having a fun time and holiday sex, but using you as some of safety net. Agree with others, if your important to her and that she understands your feelings about her doing something that would have been avoided, she shouldve cancelled it. He's rich, he her friend, he should understand. She making excuses to go and using buzzwords to reassure herself rather than you .
freethoughtbubble
Member
I'm sure I'll be called insecure but I'd dump her for even considering going on a Hawaiian get away with another dude. Like I can't imagine what my girlfriend would have said even a month into our relationship if I tried to pull a stunt like this on her.
Also, although you probably won't believe me op, you're probably not as in love as you think you are after only one month. And be thankful for that! Use this time apart to a get a grip on your feelings and think about the situation rationally. Would you have done something like this? How would you have advised a friend going through what you're going through?
Also, although you probably won't believe me op, you're probably not as in love as you think you are after only one month. And be thankful for that! Use this time apart to a get a grip on your feelings and think about the situation rationally. Would you have done something like this? How would you have advised a friend going through what you're going through?
I'd say this is perfectly fine if you weren't attached (letting another man spend his cash spoiling a girl you're only interested in for sex is a pretty good arrangement), but barely a month in y'all are throwing out the L-word... this already isn't looking good for you and it looks worse in the long term.
Cut and run, playboy. Cut and run.
Cut and run, playboy. Cut and run.
Of course I will give an update.
I guess there isn´t much to do besides waiting for her to come home, and keeping in touch with her, as she asked for that.
I have no idea, but as she says that during their five years as friends, nothing has happened between them at all. And I guess I have to trust her on that. And even so more, when she texts me that it won´t happen now
At least from what I can say in this short amount of time I have known her, she does not seem like the person who lies.
Count Dookkake
Member
I'm a pretty understanding guy, but I have to draw the line at sharing beds, outside of an emergency situation or something.
Oh wow OP, too many red flags.
Guy likes to live big but they have to share a bed together? Why? To save money? xD
Her crying and then heading out is classical cheater behavior. Not saying she's a cheat, but her tears probably mean very little outside of the in-the-moment guilt of how she's making you feel.
Even if you survive this, there's a good chance that she'll be ready to push the boundaries of your relationship in many other ways in the future. Are you emotionally ready for more questionable behavior on her part?
Guy likes to live big but they have to share a bed together? Why? To save money? xD
Her crying and then heading out is classical cheater behavior. Not saying she's a cheat, but her tears probably mean very little outside of the in-the-moment guilt of how she's making you feel.
Even if you survive this, there's a good chance that she'll be ready to push the boundaries of your relationship in many other ways in the future. Are you emotionally ready for more questionable behavior on her part?
Uh oh. OP I think the guy she's with is a Gaffer! He just posted he's falling in love with a girl he's been friends with forever.
http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=1261737
Oh dear....
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