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[Jpop]

I think he is pretty beta and/or gay (not out of the closet). Or so I judge by the conversation they have had on their phones up to this day.
I have seen their conversations as I have been at my girlfriends place. She has been openly messaging with him as we lay in bed together, so I have been able to see their conversation.

Why the fuck are you freaking out for then? You are literallyall over the place with this.

Also did you ever think that they might just be friends. I know OP it seems like that is a hard concept for you to grasp.

Do people on here actually refer to other men as "Beta"/"Alpha" even semi-seriously? I always figured the phrase was just a Gaf in-joke or something. It sounds so bloody stupid and judgmental.

Insecure people that need to label others to make themselves feel better.

 

[Terra]

Why the fuck are you freaking out for then? You are literallyall over the place with this.

It was just one small part of the conversation though, just 5-6 messages.
I am not freaking out by the way. Just feeling some bad vibrations.

 

[thelastcrusader]

I think he is pretty beta and/or gay (not out of the closet). Or so I judge by the conversation they have had on their phones up to this day.
I have seen their conversations as I have been at my girlfriends place. She has been openly messaging with him as we lay in bed together, so I have been able to see their conversation.

Dude even more reason to distrust him. Guys in the closet can be the most poon crazy. Seriously spare yourself some heartache dude.

 

[Jpop]

It was just one small part of the conversation though, just 5-6 messages.
I am not freaking out by the way. Just feeling some bad vibrations.

If by bad vibrations you mean being paranoid as fuck, well sure then.

 

[E92 M3]

Do people on here actually refer to other men as "Beta"/"Alpha" even semi-seriously? I always figured the phrase was just a Gaf in-joke or something. It sounds so bloody stupid, not to mention judgmental.

That is nature.

 

[lightskintwin]

Do people on here actually refer to other men as "Beta"/"Alpha" even semi-seriously? I always figured the phrase was just a Gaf in-joke or something. It sounds so bloody stupid and judgmental.

I never used the terms until a couple of years ago, but damn if it doesn't perfectly illustrate the behavioral traits of men.

 

[xxracerxx]

I am not freaking out by the way. Just feeling some bad vibrations.

You really are all over the board on this issue:

I did not sleep for three nights and when it finally came to the day for vacation (yesterday) I had kind of a breakdown. Got sad and went home from my girlfriend, we were both in tears. I did not connect to her in any way.

 

[Jpop]

You really are all over the board on this issue:

That's what I'm saying.

 

[Stat Flow]

Sometimes I find it hard to believe that shit like this happens and people think the way that the OP does. Jesus Christ.

 

[Terra]

You really are all over the board on this issue:

Yeah. And as we are where we are and the coming of things, it´s just the nature of things.

I simply don´t feel comfortable in the situation and it has built up as the day of the vacation was closing in.

Now it´s all what it is, and we´ll simply see what comes out of all this.

 

[NIGHT-]

Op, you need to calm down with your insecurities. You're gonna end up pushing her away.

And I do think it's possible to fall in love in a month, depending how much time you spend together, your chemistry, and how intense the relationship has been. But it doesn't mean it's healthy. Just try to relax and enjoy yourself while she's gone.

 

[How About No]

I have this girlfriend that i just met for a month.

...

I had kind of a breakdown. Got sad and went home from my girlfriend, we were both in tears

...uh?

 

[FinalStageBoss]

Your gf is off on a romantic vacation with another man...lmao dude cmon

 

[LT Snoshado]

I don't want to sound cynical, but there's no way that guy doesn't want to pound her brains out.

I think she's either lying to you and has slept with him before (you can't really tell how honest someone is after only one month), or the guy wants her but he's beta as fuck and she just enjoys getting this luxurious lifestyle out of their friendship. In which case she seems a bit of a user, and really if she didn't care I'm sure she would have cancelled the holiday knowing full well it would make it awkward with you.

Regardless of what's going on in her mind, no guys taking a woman on these vacations with no sexual desire for her.

Ask yourself, would you do the same?

This is insane. I have a long-time female friend who I'd love to take some exotic trip with... and guess what? I'd have no romantic intentions whatsoever.

I know everyone on here might be shocked at this, but not every guy/girl friendship has to be sexual.

Your gf is off on a romantic vacation with another man...lmao dude cmon

Grow up. You're not helping the situation.

 

[Ric Flair]

If my girl wanted to go on a vacation with another guy in some exotic locale, I'd be out. There's no way he isn't interested in at least dipping his stick if he's paying for everything and they're sleeping in the same bed. Fuck that

 

[Mastperf]

If my girl wanted to go on a vacation with another guy in some exotic locale, I'd be out. There's no way he isn't interested in at least dipping his stick if he's paying for everything and they're sleeping in the same bed. Fuck that

Ric Flair of all people knows how true that is. Wooo!

 

[lightskintwin]

Yeah. And as we are where we are and the coming of things, it´s just the nature of things.

I simply don´t feel comfortable in the situation and it has built up as the day of the vacation was closing in.

Now it´s all what it is, and we´ll simply see what comes out of all this.

If it's any consolation, I went on a group trip to Miami that was already planned before dating a girl for about a month and a half who was in love with me, and she was deeply insecure about me going because she felt with my group of friends, I'd end up hooking up with some girl. Now nothing happened, but to be honest she had every reason to be worried. LOL

If my girl wanted to go on a vacation with another guy in some exotic locale, I'd be out. There's no way he isn't interested in at least dipping his stick if he's paying for everything and they're sleeping in the same bed. Fuck that

Bruh, I've had other guy's girlfriends and wives go on group vacations with us, and we've never met these other guy's. My guy friends would all say the same thing, who let's their girl do that?

 

[eot]

This is insane. I have a long-time female friend who I'd love to take some exotic trip with... and guess what? I'd have no romantic intentions whatsoever.

I know everyone on here might be shocked at this, but not every guy/girl friendship has to be sexual.

You're just beta

/s

 

[MMarston]

I have this girlfriend that i just met for a month.

It was over before it began.

 

[Vicetrailia]

Edit: nvm.

OP, everything about this looks really bad.

You're lonely I guess, but it sounds like you're getting caked from someone hiding a lot about themselves from you. I'd seek to move on if you want monogamy.

 

[Jpop]

Yeah. And as we are where we are and the coming of things, it´s just the nature of things.

I simply don´t feel comfortable in the situation and it has built up as the day of the vacation was closing in.

Now it´s all what it is, and we´ll simply see what comes out of all this.

I realize English isn't your first language, but I do not understand what you are trying to say at all. I can interpret paragraph 2/3 but 1 is incomprehensible.

 

[NaturalHigh]

OP's girl either has that other dude in the biggest friend zone ever or she is playing you. Just the fact that she is so open about it all makes me think you can trust her.

The other guy is either shady, gay or trying his best to break out of the friend zone. If you want to feel better your best bet is to meet the guy with your girlfriend present and just get to know him. No need to question his intentions or anything.

This is a strange situation. I mean maybe she is using you for something too? Figure it out OP and let us know.

 

[vypek]

I realize English isn't your first language, but I do not understand what you are trying to say at all. I can interpret paragraph 2/3 but 1 is incomprehensible.

I think he is trying to convey that feelings fluctuate and it explains why he was freaking out earlier but calm now. Or at least that is my best guess since it seemed to be in reply to him being all over the board with his emotions

 

[turtle553]

If they've known each other 5 years and haven't been having sex already, I find it highly unlikely they'd start now. Either it happens or it doesn't. Don't try to control someone you've known for a month.

 

[Ric Flair]

If she valued the relationship as much as you do she'd cancel the trip. I guarantee you she isn't worrying about the relationship as he pours the thousand dollar champagne into her glass while they cuddle naked by the ocean-side Jacuzzi, or as he softly caresses her thighs as they each enjoy some fine Japanese Steak over red wine.

 

[Terra]

I think he is trying to convey that feelings fluctuate and it explains why he was freaking out earlier but calm now. Or at least that is my best guess since it seemed to be in reply to him being all over the board with his emotions

Exactly, thanks for the clarification. I am drinking a couple of beers tonight, so I might be a little sloppy when it comes to expressing myself.

 

[Rocket Scientist]

If they're going to fuck they're going to fuck. Nothing you can do. If they dont fuck, that's great news for you and you can continue dating her. You've only known her for one month, so this is a great opportunity to learn something very valuable about her very early on. You are lucky man.

 

[low-G]

Do you believe she could cheat on you? Do you trust her?

If no and yes, don't worry.

If yes and no, I'm sorry.

He dated her for one month.

He doesn't even know her, even a little bit, yet.

 

[Days like these...]

This is insane. I have a long-time female friend who I'd love to take some exotic trip with... and guess what? I'd have no romantic intentions whatsoever.

I know everyone on here might be shocked at this, but not every guy/girl friendship has to be sexual.



Grow up. You're not helping the situation.

Insane? Really? What world do you live in? Because in the real world cheating is very common nothing insane about it.

 

[Terra]

Yeah, and I should probably add to it that I got cheated on back in the days. But that was like 10 years ago...don´t know if the fear around that still lingers.
That was with a girl I had been with for two years.

 

[xxracerxx]

Insane? Really? What world do you live in? Because in the real world cheating is very common nothing insane about it.

Sure, but it isn't always the case even though GAF makes it seem that way.

 

[Peltz]

OP wasn't even in the picture when the plans were made.

OP still really isn't in the picture now in my humble opinion.

 

[meijiko]

Situation sounds messy, OP, not gonna lie. But usually I try to look at it from the girl's perspective since GAF is mostly guys and will have strong gut reactions to things like this.

So she's been friends with this dude for five years. They had plans for a trip before you even met. If I were the girl, I'd feel like I was in a pretty shitty situation. I mean, five years is nothing to sneeze at, that's a long time. To up and cancel a trip like that, something that would probably cost the friend a ton of money to cancel, for a guy I'd been dating for just a month? I'd probably go on the trip, too. If the dude couldn't trust that this was a platonic relationship, then I'd ditch him.

Where it gets messy for me is that they're living together, he pays for her shit and it feels like a sugar daddy type thing. It might not be, but I would be really hesitant to get in the middle of something like that. If they really are like best friends and he just takes care of her, completely platonic, then you should probably try to get to know the guy really well, since they seem like a package deal.

The problem with relationship threads on GAF is that there are always holes in the OP's story, things that GAF likes to fill in with the worst possible scenarios. It's impossible to give proper advice without the whole story, which we'll never have because the girl doesn't post here.

 

[thiscoldblack]

If you were a relationship for five years and she was going off for a guy she's known one month, then yeah, you should worry.

If this dude hasn't made it happen in five years and she's been going around dating other guys this whole time, what makes you think it's gonna happen now, especially since you two are in your lovey-dovey period?

Perhaps she is wondering if she should stick with OP or be with that one person who has never made a move in 5 years. A lot of men/women are so undecided when it comes to long term commitment. "What if?" questions start wondering our minds at the worst moments. I'm definitely sure OP is asking himself right now a lot of "What if?" questions.

Then again, it could be nothing. Nobody here can certainly know for sure.

 

[Nathan_Drake]

He dated her for one month.

He doesn't even know her, even a little bit, yet.

Mallet is Vacay Bae's penis

For real though I have been with my girl for a bit over 3 months and we both keep showing more of our true selves. We laugh from date 1 to now. The core of us was still there but you know you put on a lot at the beginning.

And no way would I be down with this. I would chalk it up to fate or the universe saying bail. When I like, let alone love, a girl they are mine and I am theirs. I completely surrender myself to them and expect the same. It can hurt in the end but it makes it all that much more passionate while it is good. Just my 2 cents.

 

[LT Snoshado]

Sure, but it isn't always the case even though GAF makes it seem that way.

Yeah, so many people on here jump to this conclusion and it's rather annoying.

I've been cheated on before and I'm not as negative as the majority of these comments seem. It must suck to not be able to trust your SO lol

 

[lightskintwin]

Insane? Really? What world do you live in? Because in the real world cheating is very common nothing insane about it.

More common than people even know. It's hard for people to understand if they have very dry sex lives and have this naive view of sex, attraction, and relationships.

That's not to say in this particular instance, OP's girl is cheating, but given the situation the odds are more increased due it being a vacation and people are apt to do something they otherwise wouldn't do at home. The unknown variable that could change odds in either direction is the type of relationship between OP's girlfriend and the rich friend. Have they ever hooked up before is a big one.

 

[Sdkkds]

When you are rich (depending of course on your definition of rich) paying for someone else's vacation is probably not a huge monetary investment, and having her pay for herself would probably mean that he would not get the vacation he wants and can afford.

Just because you want to fuck your girlfriend does not mean he does, he might not find her attractive or see her as a good match for him, but he might enjoy her company. Girls do this all the time to guys, and guys do it all the time as well.

Going somewhere exotic and drinking champagne by the pool does not make it a romantic vacation.

And "dumping" her friend of 5 years for a guy she met a month ago would be a shitty thing to do. And you have know here for a month, she has known him for 5 years, he should mean more to here than you.

And why is he shady? Because he is rich and pays for you girlfriend? Or is there something else?

 

[Terra]

Perhaps she is wondering if she should stick with OP or be with that one person who has never made a move in 5 years. A lot of men/women are so undecided when it comes to long term commitment. "What if?" questions start wondering our minds at the worst moments. I'm definitely sure OP is asking himself right now a lot of "What if?" questions.

Then again, it could be nothing. Nobody here can certainly know for sure.

True...I am asking myself a lot of questions here while I am drinking some beers and playing some games/listening to music.

At least I got the weekend covered with some activities, night life and meetups with friends.

 

[Woetyler]

I also believe that they share apartments and also bed.

He pays for everything.

 

[pelicansurf]

That guy is probably going to bang your girlfriend. Maybe not at first, but after 2 weeks spending time alone drinking and in super romantic spots, it's going to happen. Especially sharing a bed.

Edit:
This comes from a dude who's had a drunk girl in his bed while having a girlfriend and couldn't pull the trigger based on guilt. Not even a kiss. So basically, not everyone is nice.

 

[hey_it's_that_dog]

This all sounds very strange but I think you need to just accept that this trip is happening and judge your relationship based on how things are when she returns. If it seems like something happened, if she's acting different, if she's constantly talking to this guy or going out a lot without you, then it's time to worry. Otherwise, just pretend the trip never happened and let the relationship fall apart on its own time.

 

[Vicetrailia]

I'm guessing the OP hasn't been to their place either.

 

[cdyhybrid]

They're banging unless he's gay. Sorry OP.

 

[xxracerxx]

That guy is probably going to bang your girlfriend. Maybe not at first, but after 2 weeks spending time alone drinking and in super romantic spots, it's going to happen. Especially sharing a bed.

So you are just saying the girl has no control over if she bangs a dude or not. If he pays for two weeks of vacation all ladies just have to sleep with him, no ifs ands or buts.

 

[Kyne]

Hey GAF!

I really need to vent something that I have on my chest. I am down and devastated.

I have this girlfriend that i just met for a month. It has been very intense, and very good.
We have really been bonding and I guess you could say that we are very much in love with each other.(flag 1) Very much.

Now...just in the days before we met the first time, four weeks ago. This girl had made vacation plans with another guy, a friend of hers. It´s a guy that I don´t know very much about. (flag 2) Other than that he seems to have a lot of money. And he has been the friend of my girl for five years. I also believe he is quite a shady guy.(flag 3) They have never been sexually involved with each other, or so my girl says.

Now, my girl has went on a two weeks vacation to California and Hawaii with this guy. It´s the most luxury of places and suites with champagne on ice, wich really fits his lifestyle. I am quite the opposite here. I also believe that they share apartments and also bed. He pays for everything. (flags 4, 8, 23, and 105)

It was pretty easy for me up to two days before traveling. I did not sleep for three nights and when it finally came to the day for vacation (yesterday) I had kind of a breakdown. Got sad and went home from my girlfriend, we were both in tears. I did not connect to her in any way. (a very red flag 5)

So now they are away, and I just now heard from her in a message, telling me not to worry the slightest, and that she´s not really comfortable with being away, and that she loves me and stuff. And also that cancellation of the trip was impossible, as it was decided to happen before we got involved with each other. (flag 6, this is complete and utter bullshit)

Am I overreacting? Maybe. I am not the jealous type otherwise...but I really feel downplayed here.

Halp!

Dude, this isn't even about your girl being on vacation with a guy. These are other problems that predate the trip itself. You need to take a step back and evaluate how each of these flags are playing out.

Even if they aren't sleeping together, there's a lot of shit wrong with this situation. Are you seriously saying that you guys had a breakdown and cried together and she just went on this trip anyway?

You're being fuckin' played.

 

[Woetyler]

Otherwise, just pretend the trip never happened and let the relationship fall apart on its own time.

 

[kavanf1]

So you are just saying the girl has no control over if she bangs a dude or not. If he pays for two weeks of vacation all ladies just have to sleep with him, no ifs ands or buts.

It's more about management of risk. If you put yourself in certain situations, the likelihood of something happening obviously increases.

 

[Izuna]

OP, she's entitled to do what she wants, going on a trip he is planning for her. The fact that she didn't say no to the trip means that she isn't batshit insane, falling in complete and dangerous love in just a month.

 

[NIGHT-]

Has op posted their ages yet?