Please explain. I gotta educate myself more on these matters.
Girlfriend Stuck in 1 Year Bedroom Lease with Ex-Boyfriend: Advice?
- Thread starter Kitoro
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Just make sure you film it so you can give it to her on valentines day years in the future.
Seriously, if they're still sleeping in the same bed occasionally, they ain't broken up. Either embrace the Ménage à trois, or break it off.
PrivateWHudson
Member
He should take it to her place in person and spend the night with her on the air mattress in the room with the ex, and be sure to have loud, obvious, sex on said mattress. Repeat as often as needed until the ex gives up on the lease shit.
Frozenprince
Banned
Show him what real pipe game looks like, tbh.
LookAtMeGo
Member
Nvm
I know I may have painted that picture, but it's most definitely not the case. That said, change is hard for humans, and anything could happen if she relapses, but it's not happening right now.
Kuro Madoushi
Unconfirmed Member
These two posts sum up my views perfectly.
Snap the hell out of whatever fantasy you have and listen to reason. You're so focused on the lease as the problem that you haven't dealt with the relationship problems yet. That's what you should be concerned about, not her bloody lease. And as for her ex, if she's an adult, she needs to deal with it herself and if she's really into you, she'll figure it out and be with you if it's really what she wants.
Frozenprince
Banned
A good air mattress is multi use. Worse case, OP has a nice one to use as his leisure..
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Zelenogorsk
Banned
Valtýr;225338330 said:
If she signed a lease then what can she do? I'm sure there are ways to get out of it but I'd assume they are legal nightmares. OP letting her live with him rent free while she pays off the remaining months at the other place sounds like the best option even though it would be pricey. As i said in an earlier post subleasing a room while another person lives there just doesn't sound possible.
Was about to say the same thing.
off duty ninja
Member
OP, I'm sorry for piling on with everyone else but I do it because I have been there before myself. I was in an on again off again relationship with someone that was the sweetest
, nicest
woman I had met. I waved away all the red flags too. She broke my heart and I built a fucking wall around it.
I would rather that nobody has to go through the experience that I did but most people need to learn this one on their own. Maybe she really is this great and we are all misreading the situation but my guess is that you are too close to the situation and should step back like others have said.
I hope things work out for you either way though.
manipulative
backstabbing
I would rather that nobody has to go through the experience that I did but most people need to learn this one on their own. Maybe she really is this great and we are all misreading the situation but my guess is that you are too close to the situation and should step back like others have said.
I hope things work out for you either way though.
cartographer
Member
Yerrrrp.
"We'd use it, but the twin bed has sentimental value to both of us" or something equally dumb about to come.
OP, you're the side piece.
thecouncil
Banned
when did she tell you about how she didn't like that he tried to kiss her and spoon her in their twin bed?
was it after you stumbled into their bedroom and they were making out?
was it after you stumbled into their bedroom and they were making out?
Hysterical
Member
OP im not even remotely joking, get out of this situation ASAP.
They're all 24 and I'm 30.
OP this is drama you don't need in your life, man. You just got divorced this year. That's a pretty big deal to be getting over. You don't need this kind of headache. I know you think this girl is wonderful and one of a kind, but man there are always special women out there.
Check it:
-She sleeps in the same bed as her ex
-The ex still thinks he has a shot
Let's stop there for now. He wouldn't think he still had a shot if she wasn't sleeping in the bed. She's going out with you and he knows it, but she is still coming home to sleep in a bed with him sometimes. That is an open door from his perspective. Its not over until she says she doesn't want to ever share anything with him again, much less a goddamn BED.
The world is a big place and there are a lot of amazing women in it. Let this one go, man. She's clearly not ready to move on or she'd take bigger steps to do so.
Check it:
-She sleeps in the same bed as her ex
-The ex still thinks he has a shot
Let's stop there for now. He wouldn't think he still had a shot if she wasn't sleeping in the bed. She's going out with you and he knows it, but she is still coming home to sleep in a bed with him sometimes. That is an open door from his perspective. Its not over until she says she doesn't want to ever share anything with him again, much less a goddamn BED.
The world is a big place and there are a lot of amazing women in it. Let this one go, man. She's clearly not ready to move on or she'd take bigger steps to do so.
onadesertedisland
Member
If she wants out of the lease, she can, like an adult, look into her lease and talk with her landlord/leasing agency to discuss ways out. These will involve money. Lots of it. Do not give her that money. This is her problem. Usually, there is a break fee and re-letting fee. Then if the unit is leased before the lease period ends, you are returned some of the funds. But really dude, run. Ain't no booty that good man. This trainwreck will take you down too.
manueldelalas
Time Traveler
I understood that reference.
How are you 100% sure of that though.
You've known this chick a few weeks right? How can you be sure she's not one to lie about what goes on when you're not around?
johancruijff
Banned
Seriously OP
She's still sleeping in the same bed with her ex. It seems like she's making excuses to justify still sleeping in the same bed with her ex. She probably isn't exploring options for getting out of her lease. If she just moved into a new place with her ex within the last two months then it sounds like the breakup was a somewhat impulsive one which means she might eventually go back to him and/or you're just the rebound.
She's still sleeping in the same bed with her ex. It seems like she's making excuses to justify still sleeping in the same bed with her ex. She probably isn't exploring options for getting out of her lease. If she just moved into a new place with her ex within the last two months then it sounds like the breakup was a somewhat impulsive one which means she might eventually go back to him and/or you're just the rebound.
Good fucking god
yeah, the list of """"reasons""" as to why it's literally impossible to not stop sleeping in the same tiny bed as your sexually abusive ex is definitely getting longer and longer.
BibiMaghoo
Member
As a general rule, I wouldn't be with anyone who, for any reason, actually shared a bed with their ex. The details added to that - that he spoons her - makes me actually quite angry.
Any decent person in that situation who genuinely had to be there, would sleep on the fucking floor. That is not even questionable. That this does not happen is on them both.
Any decent person in that situation who genuinely had to be there, would sleep on the fucking floor. That is not even questionable. That this does not happen is on them both.
Why you gotta play me like that commedieu?
Suspect as hell. Why wouldn't the immediate priority be to not sleep in the same twin bed?
Frozenprince
Banned
Valtýr;225338330 said:
You discuss with the agency or landlord you initially signed the lease with how the situation has changed and how rent is no longer being equitably paid. If that isn't enough, you contact an attorney who specialized in leasing agreements or the like and figure out the next step.
Ninja Scooter
Member
Someone who is "intelligent, self sufficient and strong" would have come up with a reasonable solution to the "im sharing a bed with my ex and he keeps trying to spoon" problem by now.
So either she's not those things, or she's not all that interested in solving that particular problem.
So either she's not those things, or she's not all that interested in solving that particular problem.
onadesertedisland
Member
Maybe it's time management she isn't good with?
She knows he won't go sleep on the couch like she wants him to... so she decides to just get in the bed with him instead of staying on the couch herself? Huh? What? What kind of logic is that on her part? It's not a competition. It's about dealing with shit in your life and making good decisions. She's not doing that.
Sounds like she can't make a decision and tell him about it like the fact that he needs to pay $500 or get out. Or that she wants him on the couch or she won't be around him. It's like she's just avoiding everything with you while making bad decisions like sleeping next to him in the meantime.
Frozenprince
Banned
Best advice of the thread.
She has a good head on her shoulders tho. She's got this figured out.
I should add, she presented the idea of sleeping on the couch.
I'm the one who thinks that's a terrible solution to the problem, and will only make it seem like a better idea to suffer through the entirety of the lease on a couch.
I believe the only solution to this mess is for one of them to get out.
I'm the one who thinks that's a terrible solution to the problem, and will only make it seem like a better idea to suffer through the entirety of the lease on a couch.
I believe the only solution to this mess is for one of them to get out.
"I won't let you defeat me! Let me punish you by spooning with you!"
He could let the girl and her ex to sleep in his bed while he sleeps on the air mattress on the floor.
Are you talking about the relationship or drugs? because if the latter, jesus christ OP.
This is not rocket science. Everyone here who isn't emotionally invested in the relationship has pointed out how this story reeks of bullshit. Get out now.
brandonh83
Banned
This isn't an elephant in the room, OP. It's a wooly mammoth.
Also him trying to kiss her and spooning without consent as she's sleeping is sexual assault.
Also him trying to kiss her and spooning without consent as she's sleeping is sexual assault.
lmao OP pls
UnObtainium17
Member
Op if you want to have a higher percentage of dying early do this.
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