Sorry, I meant relapses on giving the relationship another shot. Poor choice of words on my part.
Girlfriend Stuck in 1 Year Bedroom Lease with Ex-Boyfriend: Advice?
- Thread starter Kitoro
- Start date
- Status
Sorry, I meant relapses on giving the relationship another shot. Poor choice of words on my part.
onadesertedisland
Member
The solution is irrelevant to you, you are a third party and new to this shitshow. Have this "amazing" woman demonstrate something worthy of being in a relationship. Like cleaning up her mess and getting her shit together.
Cloggerdude
Member
This is so strange....
SirClinksAlot
Member
Dude she is still sleeping in a bed with her supposed ex. You don't see how there might be something still going on there? Fuck, if this was a California King that might be one thing but we're talking about a twin bed.
This is gonna get a lot of milage in this thread.
Honestly though, looks like OP won't listen to reason. We lost him GAF.
THREE WEEKS!
perfectchaos007
Member
Its almost impossible to NOT spoon someone in a twin bed.
Coldnoodle
Member
Okay, with this and the other details you have provided I think you really need to walk away from this. You have only know this 24 year old young women for a couple weeks and you seem to be fawning over her. She and her ex seem to not be on the same page about the status of their relationship. You are 30 years old and have been in several long term relationships. The two of y'all seem to be in different parts of your lives.
At this point, since posting this thread, we've been talking and have come to the conclusion that she's going to move her essentials out of her apartment and into my home for now, and spend some time away from her situation to process everything and decide what she wants to do.
At this point, her options are:
She gets him out of the apartment and we start over like a normal dating couple.
She gets out and either rents with another friend and we start over like a normal dating couple.
She gets out and moves in with me, which I usually I have a 6 month to a year rule of thumb that I'd be breaking to make it happen.
I think the first two options are by far the healthiest, but at this point, I just want to see her free from her crappy situation as soon as possible, in whatever way necessary.
At this point, her options are:
She gets him out of the apartment and we start over like a normal dating couple.
She gets out and either rents with another friend and we start over like a normal dating couple.
She gets out and moves in with me, which I usually I have a 6 month to a year rule of thumb that I'd be breaking to make it happen.
I think the first two options are by far the healthiest, but at this point, I just want to see her free from her crappy situation as soon as possible, in whatever way necessary.
[KoRp]Jazzman
Member
OP!
I was in Disneyland on the 8th-10th of November, was that when you met her? This would blow my mind if I possibly ran into you their and was unknowingly apart of what would be an epic thread.
Oh god... Are you dating my Girlfriend? We don't have pets though, and its a 5 bedroom house with no roommates, but i still feel like you are stealing her from me.
-----------
Non A-hole response, please don't do this to yourself, no person worthwhile sleeps in the same bed with their Ex because of a lease issue.
I was in Disneyland on the 8th-10th of November, was that when you met her? This would blow my mind if I possibly ran into you their and was unknowingly apart of what would be an epic thread.
Oh god... Are you dating my Girlfriend? We don't have pets though, and its a 5 bedroom house with no roommates, but i still feel like you are stealing her from me.
-----------
Non A-hole response, please don't do this to yourself, no person worthwhile sleeps in the same bed with their Ex because of a lease issue.
PrivateWHudson
Member
lol, yep. She'll suggest that her and her ex live in the OP's place since it's bigger and they can have their own rooms, while the OP moves into their room.
Walk out of the room naked heading to the bathroom, wipe off your junk with one of his shirts and toss it to him. Ask him if $300 is worth it.
I don't see why this is relevant.
Again, this is drama you don't need in your life, dude. You are divorced as of what, 6-8 months ago? You don't need this, OP. You are the side piece while her cuck boyfriend figures out how to reignite her fire. She's leaving the door open for him to do so by sharing a bed.
You gotta wake up to the reality in front of you, man. There are tons of great women out there. Go find one!
freethoughtbubble
Member
Come on, OP.
I'm probably in the wrong here, but if you insist on riding this situation out, at least be looking on the side for potential hook-up material. By all means, don't cheat on your girlfriend of three weeks who is sleeping in the same bed as her ex, but just make it so you know that you could, at any moment, be in bed with another woman if you so wanted.
So when the most likely scenario plays out, and you find out that her ex isn't shadow boxing in the sack unsolicited, you won't feel quite as bad. And you'll have a rebound ready to rock.
Or do the sensible thing in this situation and call an indefinite break to this relationship until she sorts her situation out once and for all. If she's serious about you, she'll figure things out. If not, not.
Honestly, if you were just casually sleeping with her, there'd be no reason for concern (er, less reason), but the fact that you call her your girlfriend is telling me that you are already emotionally invested enough to get burned by this whole situation... Tread carefully, OP. Try to distance yourself a bit from this powder keg until you are certain the coast is clear. A break is the right play imo since it doesn't have the seeming finality of a break-up, and thus you'll more likely have the stomach to pull the trigger on the former over the latter. Good luck!
I'm probably in the wrong here, but if you insist on riding this situation out, at least be looking on the side for potential hook-up material. By all means, don't cheat on your girlfriend of three weeks who is sleeping in the same bed as her ex, but just make it so you know that you could, at any moment, be in bed with another woman if you so wanted.
So when the most likely scenario plays out, and you find out that her ex isn't shadow boxing in the sack unsolicited, you won't feel quite as bad. And you'll have a rebound ready to rock.
Or do the sensible thing in this situation and call an indefinite break to this relationship until she sorts her situation out once and for all. If she's serious about you, she'll figure things out. If not, not.
Honestly, if you were just casually sleeping with her, there'd be no reason for concern (er, less reason), but the fact that you call her your girlfriend is telling me that you are already emotionally invested enough to get burned by this whole situation... Tread carefully, OP. Try to distance yourself a bit from this powder keg until you are certain the coast is clear. A break is the right play imo since it doesn't have the seeming finality of a break-up, and thus you'll more likely have the stomach to pull the trigger on the former over the latter. Good luck!
Frozenprince
Banned
Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
You realize your girlfriend is waking up every morning to her ex's morning wood jammed against her back/ass, right?
I tried sharing a twin bed with a girl back in college for one night and that was enough for me to swear off sharing a twin bed with anyone, I don't care if it's my wife, I'd rather sleep on the floor.
Switch places with her. She stays at your place, and you stay at hers and share the twin bed with the ex.
I tried sharing a twin bed with a girl back in college for one night and that was enough for me to swear off sharing a twin bed with anyone, I don't care if it's my wife, I'd rather sleep on the floor.
Switch places with her. She stays at your place, and you stay at hers and share the twin bed with the ex.
Milly Osworth
Member
Nah this can't be real.
mrhyderager
Member
I'm not even gonna comment on the ex-in-the-bed part.
A twin fucking bed tho? What self-respecting adult is ok with sharing a twin bed with another adult and paying $1000 (per room? Where the hell do you live?
I live on my own and have a queen sized bed. I shared a twin bed with an ex a few times in my dorm room in college but that was out of necessity. As soon as I got my own place I upgraded.
A twin fucking bed tho? What self-respecting adult is ok with sharing a twin bed with another adult and paying $1000 (per room? Where the hell do you live?
I live on my own and have a queen sized bed. I shared a twin bed with an ex a few times in my dorm room in college but that was out of necessity. As soon as I got my own place I upgraded.
arts&crafts
Member
You met a few weeks ago, please dont move in together yet. Option 1 or 2!
Head of Vengarl
Banned
It's really impressive how some of us can ignore such blatant red flags. I've done it before. Well, it wasn't this bad, but still.
Ricky Ricardo
Member
"Girlfriend" "Stuck" in 1 Year Bedroom Lease with "Ex-Boyfriend"
I saw red just by reading the title. The last two relationships I was in were both "complicated."
You need to carefully examine just how legitimate this relationship is.
I saw red just by reading the title. The last two relationships I was in were both "complicated."
You need to carefully examine just how legitimate this relationship is.
Well, good to see every possible outcome in your mind has her being with you. You're certainly looking at this clearly and objectively. You surely won't be setting yourself up for heartbreak in the future.
Doug Heffernan
Member
99% chance they're still fucking.
You realize how unhealthy it is for someone to jump so immediately from one failed relationship into being dependent on someone completely new - with absolutely no break in between?
You are rebound guy, at best. This girl is putting herself into a situation that is not good for her and it goes without saying how bad this is for you.
Ninja Scooter
Member
You're gonna be the subject of a future episode of 48 Hours Mystery, OP.
Its been less than an hour since you posted this thread.
Complistic
Member
Also my thoughts.
SHE should sleep on the floor?
In a situation where she's paying 70% of the rent?
Dafuq?
loaf of bread
Member
I swear some GAF members must think to themselves "hmm, how can I enter the most sketch, complicated, desperate relationship possible."
Is it really that hard to get into a relationship with normal people without 3 tons of baggage and red flags?
Is it really that hard to get into a relationship with normal people without 3 tons of baggage and red flags?
It isn't really. He painted an image of her in his mind and wants that girl badly. With this image in his mind he might just start acting irrationally. This opens him up to exploitation.
I don't think there's anything she can do to get out of the lease. First step is to buy a fucking bed for herself. Split up their bedroom with furniture or something. By a cam to record her side so if he tries to pull any shenanigans, report him to the police for sexual assault.
Ninja Scooter
Member
She can't let him win.
You are in denial and in the process of choosing the 3rd option.
InfiniteBento
Member
OP doesn't respect himself enough to let go of unneeded drama.
You are making excuses because that's easier than realizing how fucked up your situation actually is.
You are making excuses because that's easier than realizing how fucked up your situation actually is.
superdeluxe
Member
Has OP addressed if he is okay with the bed sharing?
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
FullMetaltech
Member
OP whats wrong with the girl not sleeping on an airbed or sofa? To me its sounds like them trying to scam you and 3 weeks? Cmon thats too soon.
Coldnoodle
Member
Seriously though, let her figure her shit out before getting into involved.
Respect yourself.
Respect yourself.
Frozenprince
Banned
"decide what she wants to do"
Homie.
She's using you as a storage unit.
BAIL.
OUT.
Homie.
She's using you as a storage unit.
BAIL.
OUT.
johancruijff
Banned
Wait a twin bed is a single bed?
Bail out op ffs
Bail out op ffs
Ninja Scooter
Member
The response seems to be that she is doing it out of spite and comfort.
LumpOfCole
Member
- Status
Similar threads
- Poll