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Can attraction grow for a man?

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OP, I hope you aren't serious because that would mean that there is a member of this forum that I truly loathe. Please get professional help for your problems.
 
Machine said:
What kind of alternate universe have I entered this time? I see couples where the husband is better looking than the wife all the time.
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And like it even matters? Maybe they are best friends that are incredibly happy.

Not for the OP though she's too ugmo
 
This is definitely one of the stranger threads on GAF.

OP can you put everything into a spreadsheet for us to view?
 
CrazyHorse said:
I don't want to reject her outright without giving it careful thought. I can see her being a good mother and supportive wife.
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Well, you sure are giving this a lot of thought.
I don't mean to be rude and it's perfectly ok to not be attracted to her but the way your post is written is kinda hilarious.
But yes, attraction can grow with time. My longest relationship was with a girl I didn't find attractive at first but I liked her personality and after a while I saw the beauty in her. You don't need to marry her right away OP ;) If you like her, just go on a few dates with her and see where it goes.
 
CrazyHorse said:
I met this girl who is a very ethical and intelligent person. My problem is that I don't find aspects of her face attractive. To the extent that it really puts me off. Other things are attractive. Her face is somewhat asymmetrical (one side puffier) and when she smiles I can see all her gums and and this is because her jaw is a bit protruded.

I don't want to reject her outright without giving it careful thought. I can see her being a good mother and supportive wife.
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Send a text to the girl linking her to this quote.

Problem solved.

"She's ugly but nice and I imagine she breeds well"
 
Guys I need some help.

I met this guy who is a very attractive person. My problem is that I don't find aspects of his attitude attractive. To the extent that it really puts me off.
 
Lmao what is this thread. Only you know how she makes you feel so just go with what you're feeling? So weird that you need to ask this and then bring up the wife and mother stuff.
 
I'm not good at relationship advice, so I just copied the first lines of a bunch of Dear Abby responses and threw them together.

Dear Abby,

I met this girl who is a very ethical and intelligent person. My problem is that I don't find aspects of her face attractive. To the extent that it really puts me off. Other things are attractive. Her face is somewhat asymmetrical (one side puffier) and when she smiles I can see all her gums and and this is because her jaw is a bit protruded.

I don't want to reject her outright without giving it careful thought. I can see her being a good mother and supportive wife.

But can attraction grow?

I am better looking than her and it's not often that you see a husband with a less attractive wife.

CrazyHorse in GAFland

Dear CrazyHorse,

The quickest way out of the rut would be to find another licensed therapist and get more counseling. It is likely that they are going through a phase and doing something they've seen other people do.

You say your relative is the daughter of a preacher. Verbalizing your refusal would be undiplomatic. I think you should go without her, and stop making excuses.

Yes, all of this is moving too fast. You are not the only people with this problem. The revelation that you and your sister exist may come as a shock to your half-siblings, so be prepared. No, it would not. What your friend is doing is neither gross nor strange.

If you're writing to me, you ARE worrying.
 
CrazyHorse said:
Guys I need some help.

I met this girl who is a very ethical and intelligent person. My problem is that I don't find aspects of her face attractive. To the extent that it really puts me off. Other things are attractive. Her face is somewhat asymmetrical (one side puffier) and when she smiles I can see all her gums and and this is because her jaw is a bit protruded.

I don't want to reject her outright without giving it careful thought. I can see her being a good mother and supportive wife.

But can attraction grow?

I am better looking than her and it's not often that you see a husband with a less attractive wife. Things like this bother me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19/marriage-study_n_4299002.html
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I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.

Attraction can grow the more time you spend with someone. This goes both ways though. Does she find you attractive?

You say she's the ethical and intelligent one, so what are you bringing to the table beyond good locks, because that won't get you beyond a certain point with most women. It works initially, but if your personality is as garbage (as it seems to be, but I'm also giving you the benefit of the doubt here and assuming you're being naive in asking such a question), she's much more likely to reject you rather than the other way around.

So it's less about if attraction will grow in the long term, it's about what you can offer to complement her good attributes.
 
Of course it can.

It doesn't sound like this would be a good relationship based on what you said though, because of how you said it. Doesn't sound like the right attitude for dating.
 
I've thought about this before, and I do find it interesting. There's a weird, somewhat unjustified connection between finding someone attractive, and thinking they would be the perfect spouse for you. There isn't really an intrinsic reason why "I find you so attractive" and "This person would be the perfect father/mother of our children" has to be found in a single person, but society dictates that.

I empathize with your predicament, OP.
 
CrazyHorse said:
I am better looking than her and it's not often that you see a husband with a less attractive wife. Things like this bother me: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/19/marriage-study_n_4299002.html
Click to expand...

Those "Studies" are mostly rushed and 450 couples from one country is hardly a good sample. They are marketed for click baits for buzz feed/huffpost and rarely double checked by other scientists. Bottom line, I'd ignore that shit if I were you.

Love at first sight rarely happens and infatuation isn't necessarily gateway to finding true love. So yeh it can happen over time.

Also as another member pointed it out, why are you imagining wedding bells, kids and separations even before u can start dating? I get the overactive imagination but the girl's gonna find it creepy man. Slow down.
 
You say she's not attractive but she would make a good mother? Is that what is called negging?


Seriously though you should probably cut her loose op.
 
Don't date her. With your attitude towards her you'll be doing her a massive favour. And look at working on how you see people you might want to date because I'm seeing some real unhealthy attitudes here.
 
raw
 
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