Ugh. I have now.
Let's talk about catcalling
- Thread starter pashmilla
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Ugh. I have now.
Fantastapotamus
Wrong about commas, wrong about everything
Funnily enough, when I was like 10 years old I was certain that's the way you get a girlfriend as a grown up. You just talk to a random woman on the street that looks pretty and even if she doesn't like what you say you just keep talking to her until she fall's in love with you. All those stupid romance films my sister watched always did that so I just figured that's how it works.
Catcalling is bad, because it is unsolicited by the target, it is an unwanted interaction based on an extreme misconception of interpersonal confidence by the perpetrator.
And I think there's nothing else to say about it...
By the way pashmilla, I don't hate your threads, but I have to say I'm not a fan of your writing style. peace!
And I think there's nothing else to say about it...
By the way pashmilla, I don't hate your threads, but I have to say I'm not a fan of your writing style. peace!
Not really much point in posting a discussion thread if everyones going to agree. It really is just waiting for the dogpile.
I've never really seen cat calling in my country. I'd imagine it would be awful.
Looney toons also worked like that.
entremet
Member
The thread isn't a bad idea. It just come off as patronizing.ok then...
It's basically a lecture. Hard to get engagement there. Then you wish that someone disagrees so they can be dogpiled on, instead of using persuasive arguments to win them over.
That's just regular harassment as opposed to sexual harassment. Why
ok then...
Ignore passive aggressive jerks, there's nothing wrong with the way you write.
Context. At the club, you are there to dance drink and hit on/get hit on if you are single.
A better question in this context would be: "Gaf, is it okay to grind my dick against a hot stranger on the train? I'm complimenting her!"
Messofanego
Banned
Yes, check AllGamer's posts.
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
entremet
Member
One hard headed dude who agrees it s awful and never does it but for some reason on a campaign to define sexual harassment his own way.
I disagree with him, but he's not a cat caller nor condoning it.
Messofanego
Banned
Is this a satirical joke where you make a tangential remark when it was unsolicited about not liking something about a person? Or... genuine?
Forearm Star
Member
Same thing with people making advances in the comment sections on social media. Seriously, what are people even doing?
hydrophilic attack
Member
well that's obviously not ok, so there's really not much to discuss there
edit: maybe the post you quoted came off as trying to downplay the whole issue of catcalling, but that was not the intention
i was actually curious about where the red line is in that specific situation but maybe that's ää should be discussed in a separate thread instead
It was just unnecessary and mean-spirited. You don't need to be in a "safe space" to show common courtesy/not be a dick.
Just like catcalling, it's this urge that they just can't get over. Rather than restrain themselves, they just say it and get it out of the way, not giving a fuck about how it makes the recipient feel.
The Salt Life
Banned
Did it between the ages of 15-18, basically jr high through high school.
Why? Because I could, because back then it was normal. If I grew up in this day and age I probably never would have.
Edit: why I stopped? Because my friends continued to do it and they were an embarrassment to be around.
Why? Because I could, because back then it was normal. If I grew up in this day and age I probably never would have.
Edit: why I stopped? Because my friends continued to do it and they were an embarrassment to be around.
She started this very thread with an irony about how her threads were hated, since she brought that up, I commented on that by saying I don't have a problem with the issues she brings to the table and I just wasn't a fan of her writing style.
Harassment? how!?
And don't derail the thread please. We can continue this conversation if you feel like it via PM's.
Fuck off with that shit.
You have the nerve to come into a thread where women who have been victims of sexual harassment are sharing their experiences and try to downplay what they've been through. So no, YOU fuck off with that shit.
This.
It's not nothing, it happens fucking constantly, it's stressful and annoying as fuck. I don't know which guy is 'just being nice' or going to get all pissed when I ignore him. Imagine having that interaction 50 times on your commute to work everyday
I catcalled once, when I was in a trip with some friends, some 15 years ago when I was a teenager. , it was a holiday so alot of people on the street, so we just sat on the street and did it for a while.
Never done it again since, and never really thought about it twice, it was jsut something I did once as a teen I guess.
This came back to me when I saw that video of the woman walking and being catcalled in NY, I noticed 2 things from that video.
First, the passing remarks must be annoying, but I dont see how they would constitute sexual harrassement. Like a guy just shouting something from afar.
Second, I got to see a woman's point of view, and some of those interactions must have been terryfing to them. LIke the guys who would follow them, and keep talking to them after it was clear they wanted nothing, and the guys kept on it, now that is something different altogether. That is clear harrassment to me.
So I would say, like anything, there are nuances to it, but as a general rule I think its a stupid thing to do, since I doubt anything ever came from it, and to the men that catcall on a regular basis, it must define alot of their personality when someone sees them do it. And it is never positive. No woman is intrigued by a guy that shouts at her, so I dont really get how this is still a thing.
Never done it again since, and never really thought about it twice, it was jsut something I did once as a teen I guess.
This came back to me when I saw that video of the woman walking and being catcalled in NY, I noticed 2 things from that video.
First, the passing remarks must be annoying, but I dont see how they would constitute sexual harrassement. Like a guy just shouting something from afar.
Second, I got to see a woman's point of view, and some of those interactions must have been terryfing to them. LIke the guys who would follow them, and keep talking to them after it was clear they wanted nothing, and the guys kept on it, now that is something different altogether. That is clear harrassment to me.
So I would say, like anything, there are nuances to it, but as a general rule I think its a stupid thing to do, since I doubt anything ever came from it, and to the men that catcall on a regular basis, it must define alot of their personality when someone sees them do it. And it is never positive. No woman is intrigued by a guy that shouts at her, so I dont really get how this is still a thing.
You're being called out because you're trying to normalize sexual harassment. It's probably time to grow up.
"Sexual harassment". Maybe you should grow a thick skin and don't take everything personally or get offended so easily.
You seem like a very nice guy.
ClosingADoor
Member
And stuff like this is why I'm not surprised why girls want to carry around pepper spray or something to protect themselves. Scary stuff.
It is though.
And attitudes like this make it so that people feel they can continue this behavior. Just ignore it. Grow a thick skin. It's just a compliment. Don't be offended to easily. All variation to say: you are the problem not the scumbag bothering you.
Thanks. I am.
hydrophilic attack
Member
this is ironic from someone who just got offended and made a "fuck you" comment when someone dared criticize their stance
maybe you should grow a thicker skin and don't take things so personally 😔
What's sad is that you'll get banned and learn nothing because you're not willing to engage in thoughtful discussion. Unwanted sexual comments and noises are both personal and harassment regardless of how you feel.
How so? You're harassing someone based on your basest sexual instincts.
WhateverItTakes
Banned
'The world should let people let people do crappy things because really, we should all be able to take everything life throws at us with a smile'.
I fucking hate this mentality. Switch the focus immediately from the perpetrator being a shithead to it being the victims fault that it's a problem at all. Would it really kill you to have a shred of empathy?
Messofanego
Banned
Oh so you were genuine. That's even worse. What was your thinking about bringing up your dislike of her writing style, what was the positive consequence? Did it seem like constructive criticism? Clearly not as it turned out :/
excelsiorlef
Member
I mean given that safe space as originally defined is a place for folks, usually minorities but it can be expanded, to talk about their issues without having to deal with slurs and hate speech (among other things), yes GAF does serve as a sort of traditional safe space and it is why we frequently can have some much more complicated, detailed, nuanced discussions here that you don't have in other places.
Now as for that comment maybe harassment was the wrong word but it was definitely rude and uncalled for, and not very constructive.
Friends of mine did it all the time and tried to make me do it too. It felt so wrong tho (because it was) and because I refused they made fun of me like you can't be a real man and with other more spiteful comments. I was able to cut any ties with these guys and in retrospect I'm glad I wasn't pulled into that stuff... it is depressing how much acceptance catcalling still gets from society even tho I believe there is more awareness about it nowadays. Appreciate this thread a lot op, thank you.
ClosingADoor
Member
Maybe look a bit further and be aware of the situation those things are said in. By strangers unwanted, in situations where the girl can't do much except to just let it go, etc.
davidwhangchoi
Member
agree, i came in here for a discussion, but the thread ended up reminding me of that comic strip where the guy goes to another country bc some girl files harassment bc he showed interest.
Yup. There's nothing I can do, because what am I going to do, start a fight? Shout at him? What if he gets angry and decides to follow or hurt me? I don't want him following me back home (both these incidents happened about five minutes away from where I live). They KNOW we can't do anything and they play on that vulnerability.
Okay, now you're just trolling.
There's no way for a woman to know the intention of a guy throwing a 'harmless' wolf whistle at her. Is he just a stupid idiot? Is he going to come after her? It's obvious he's already socially/emotionally ill adjusted and willing to objectify a random, unknown woman in public, how far is he going to take it? Some won't take it further, some go all the way to rape. There's no way for a woman that's the victim of it to know.
Now multiply that by getting it every day, multiple times a day. Every single person doing the catcalling is contributing to women feeling unsafe to go out alone in public spaces. The fact that you lack the empathy to sympathize with that is your problem.
If you feel offended by people calling you out on that, maybe you should grow a thicker skin and don't take everything so personally, or get offended so easily.
Or, even better. start some self-reflection. You're being an idiot. Also just a complete dick, because you posted that just after a woman shared her own experiences and you come in here with your 'grow a thicker skin' bullshit.
psychowave
Member
I think the first time I got catcalled I was 10 or 11. When I told an older person, they told me I should be flattered. Fun times.
Indeed, I don't have anything else to say, I'm sorry if she felt offended by my response, it wasn't ill intended at all.
excelsiorlef
Member
How could this thread remind you of that?
The Salt Life
Banned
Probably both can be classified as sexual harassment.
Unwanted attention is unwanted attention
Lol it's pretty sad that you feel that you can relate to that comic/guy simply because women feel they deserve more respect.
I imagine that 1 in 20 girls (made up stat) respond positively to cat calling so in the mind of the meat head this means it's ok to do it.
2 GOAT Girls.
There's a difference between showing interest and being creepy and inappropriate.
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