Autism - Welcome to the Spectrum

Status
Not open for further replies.
Since we're talking about autism, in the autism thread. I would like to share a story of an incident that occurred on my son's bus yesterday.

So my son is 6 yrs old, in kindergarten and rides the bus with his brother home everyday. The bus ride is like 40 minutes or so. Yesterday my son gets off the bus crying hysterically. I found out he was wiping chap-stick on his finger, then on the back of a seat. The Bus driver took the chap-stick from him. The was still chap-stick residue on the back of the seat in front of my son. He wiped (gathered) some off with his finger and was looking at it. Then some 4th grader, that was sitting behind him, got up and punched my son in the dick. WTF!!!!

We emailed and called the school. My wife is like "I want to know the other kid's reasons." I went all caveman, and just want to muay thia kick that kid in his 4th grader junk.

My Ex and Current wife are old school. We had a issue with my school being bullied last year and told the school and went straight to the kids house and talked to his parent. Let's just say it never happened again. LOL

Edit: My kid is 9 and has autism.
 
My Ex and Current wife are old school. We had a issue with my school being bullied last year and told the school and went straight to the kids house and talked to his parent. Let's just say it never happened again. LOL

Edit: My kid is 9 and has autism.

I would love to go talk to that kid's parents.
 
Well now I feel bad. Apparently the 4th Grader is also on the spectrum. My son was making too much noise, so he decided to hit him. The school talked to him and he feels really bad about hitting my son in the dick. I'm not sure he feels bad about hitting my son. Oh well, at least he learned that it's not cool to hit people.
 
Well now I feel bad. Apparently the 4th Grader is also on the spectrum. My son was making too much noise, so he decided to hit him. The school talked to him and he feels really bad about hitting my son in the dick. I'm not sure he feels bad about hitting my son. Oh well, at least he learned that it's not cool to hit people.

That changes everything.
 
So I finally went to the doctors and requested a referral to UC Davis Mind Institute. I talked to them on the phone and they said they accept my insurance and do testing for adults. More specifically, testing for symptomatic Fragile X carriers. 200 repeat count is supposed to be the threshold, but I'm at 150 repeats. I just have to see if the referral gets approved. It'll be nice to have resources available to me to deal with life. I've secluded myself for years now, and just buried myself into school work. Now that's even becoming difficult to deal with. I think back to all my awkward and horrible work experiences and I loathe the idea of finding a job.
 
As someone who actually is on the autism spectrum, this is a great story to read. I can only hope things turn out well for you and your kid. I know my childhood was quite "rocky" due to my disability.
 
It's autism awareness day/month. So, happy autism awareness day/month.

There is a huge autism camp near us, called Camp Royall. They had a huge event for people with autism and their family. It was a lot of fun. My middle son, that has ASD, seem to be very at ease there. He didn't seem anxious or over simulated.

I wish more places would have an autism awareness day that was focused on educating non autistic people about autism.
 
My six-year-old son finished mainstream kindergarten last week, and we're as proud as can be, but his behavior has been the worst it's been in years since about a week or so before school even ended.

It's clear that it started around the time that they started doing "end of year" activities and we have had many talks with him about how he's sad that school is ending, he misses his teacher, wishes she could teach him again next year, and so on. Sometimes our talks make him start crying, sometimes he seems hopeful and understanding. But then later that day, or the next day if we're lucky, he will argue and fight with us over rules and normal activities (time for bed, etc.). Sometimes it's angrier arguing than usual, but more and more frequently, he screams at us and stomps his feet and DEMANDS that we leave him alone so he can have fun or whatever.

My wife has been home from work this week, and says that he has started hitting her with closed fists - something he hasn't done in years. She's absolutely at her wit's end.

In addition to talking to him about his situation, we've read him social stories, we've rewarded him for finishing school, we've been discussing play dates (unfortunately, no luck hearing back from parents yet), and we've tried our normal methods of taking away TV time and so on for bad behavior. I've been asking around for advice and was told to try positive reinforcement, but so far he just screams and hits and demands to have whatever he wants instead of earning it with good behavior.

He is in a group ABA therapy, but that's only twice per week for a couple of hours each time. Any other advice would be appreciated.
 
My six-year-old son finished mainstream kindergarten last week, and we're as proud as can be, but his behavior has been the worst it's been in years since about a week or so before school even ended.

It's clear that it started around the time that they started doing "end of year" activities and we have had many talks with him about how he's sad that school is ending, he misses his teacher, wishes she could teach him again next year, and so on. Sometimes our talks make him start crying, sometimes he seems hopeful and understanding. But then later that day, or the next day if we're lucky, he will argue and fight with us over rules and normal activities (time for bed, etc.). Sometimes it's angrier arguing than usual, but more and more frequently, he screams at us and stomps his feet and DEMANDS that we leave him alone so he can have fun or whatever.

My wife has been home from work this week, and says that he has started hitting her with closed fists - something he hasn't done in years. She's absolutely at her wit's end.

In addition to talking to him about his situation, we've read him social stories, we've rewarded him for finishing school, we've been discussing play dates (unfortunately, no luck hearing back from parents yet), and we've tried our normal methods of taking away TV time and so on for bad behavior. I've been asking around for advice and was told to try positive reinforcement, but so far he just screams and hits and demands to have whatever he wants instead of earning it with good behavior.

He is in a group ABA therapy, but that's only twice per week for a couple of hours each time. Any other advice would be appreciated.

Well, since I chimed in last year, suppose I can do so again.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you've hit that unfortunate phase where he's now especially conscious of the concept of change, and if autistic people often loathe anything, it's change. His mind is likely struggling to come to terms with it, both because of the disruption to his broader routine in itself, but also because it's breaking down the expectations he has for what should/shouldn't be normal. It may be he's trying to retreat into what he considers fun as a means of stress relief, and in so doing, taking his frustrations out on you two. While with his expectations for what is/isn't normal/right being broken down by the change, it might be making him question things in a less than constructive manner. Ie, if school can end, why can't he stay up longer, etc?

Is there any additional context as to when he's physically gotten violent? Is it just an extension of ill response to being told what to do, or is there some particular topic that's set him off? Has he just done it out of the blue for no seeming reason?

You also mention talking to him about his situation - has that mainly been in the context of how he's sad over school ending but that's not so bad, or has it like, been about his behaviour, or...?
 
Well, since I chimed in last year, suppose I can do so again.

Unfortunately, it sounds like you've hit that unfortunate phase where he's now especially conscious of the concept of change, and if autistic people often loathe anything, it's change. His mind is likely struggling to come to terms with it, both because of the disruption to his broader routine in itself, but also because it's breaking down the expectations he has for what should/shouldn't be normal. It may be he's trying to retreat into what he considers fun as a means of stress relief, and in so doing, taking his frustrations out on you two. While with his expectations for what is/isn't normal/right being broken down by the change, it might be making him question things in a less than constructive manner. Ie, if school can end, why can't he stay up longer, etc?

Is there any additional context as to when he's physically gotten violent? Is it just an extension of ill response to being told what to do, or is there some particular topic that's set him off? Has he just done it out of the blue for no seeming reason?

You also mention talking to him about his situation - has that mainly been in the context of how he's sad over school ending but that's not so bad, or has it like, been about his behaviour, or...?

I spoke to him on the phone earlier today because he was hitting his mom and I wanted to try and calm him down or at least find a root cause. The conversation went pretty much like it always does. He said that he was mad because he was asked to do a chore, but he doesn't want to, and he wants to do anything he wants instead. I talked to him for a bit and when he seemed to understand, I said he should apologize to his mom. He said "I'm sorry I hit you. You need to do whatever I say." (At this point my wife started crying and hung up the phone.)

Yeah, that's been his attitude lately. He claims it's OUR fault he's mad (which I can understand from his perspective) and then he basically says that if we want him to stop, then we must give in to his demands. Every time we explain that he needs to do what we ask and have a good attitude and, you know, NOT make demands, he asks "but why". He asks "why" a lot, especially when he doesn't want to do something.

His ABA therapists say this is normal, and to turn it around on him and ask HIM why, because he's just testing us. So we've been doing that for a few months now. It usually doesn't help. He'll just answer his own question and then still be upset about having to do something he doesn't want to, even if it's part of his daily routine.
 
Is there any benefit to getting tested as an adult?
I am. Although my appointment is 7 months out. There are resources to help you if you feel like you're struggling in life, especially with work or school. Just depends on how much you want to know and if you think it'll change anything in life.
 
I spoke to him on the phone earlier today because he was hitting his mom and I wanted to try and calm him down or at least find a root cause. The conversation went pretty much like it always does. He said that he was mad because he was asked to do a chore, but he doesn't want to, and he wants to do anything he wants instead. I talked to him for a bit and when he seemed to understand, I said he should apologize to his mom. He said "I'm sorry I hit you. You need to do whatever I say." (At this point my wife started crying and hung up the phone.)

Yeah, that's been his attitude lately. He claims it's OUR fault he's mad (which I can understand from his perspective) and then he basically says that if we want him to stop, then we must give in to his demands. Every time we explain that he needs to do what we ask and have a good attitude and, you know, NOT make demands, he asks "but why". He asks "why" a lot, especially when he doesn't want to do something.

His ABA therapists say this is normal, and to turn it around on him and ask HIM why, because he's just testing us. So we've been doing that for a few months now. It usually doesn't help. He'll just answer his own question and then still be upset about having to do something he doesn't want to, even if it's part of his daily routine.

...Holy fuck.

Yeah, in this regard you need to challenge him, though I cannot fully speak as to how effective it will be in the short term. I would personally pick up on the point that what he's ultimately wanting is quite selfish and mean, and is that really what he wants to be? How can he think that's okay because it's what he wants? Does he think his old teacher would like him bullying his own parents? Does he think anyone would like him for doing that? If there's a fictional character he really likes - I dunno, Batman or whatever - would they really approve of this kind of behaviour?

It's guilt tripping, yes, but you can't let up on him. It can be one of the hardest things to teach someone with autism that they're in the wrong, especially when they're young, but it is among the most essential lessons they'll ever learn.

Is there any benefit to getting tested as an adult?

Certainty and clarity about one's self. Just knowing what it is that sets you apart, and frames the context you live in, is immensely useful.
 
...Holy fuck.

Yeah, in this regard you need to challenge him, though I cannot fully speak as to how effective it will be in the short term. I would personally pick up on the point that what he's ultimately wanting is quite selfish and mean, and is that really what he wants to be? How can he think that's okay because it's what he wants? Does he think his old teacher would like him bullying his own parents? Does he think anyone would like him for doing that? If there's a fictional character he really likes - I dunno, Batman or whatever - would they really approve of this kind of behaviour?

It's guilt tripping, yes, but you can't let up on him. It can be one of the hardest things to teach someone with autism that they're in the wrong, especially when they're young, but it is among the most essential lessons they'll ever learn.

We've definitely tried explaining to him that he's being mean and all that, but he rarely seems to care. Or he might seem to care, but still want to get his way. We can try doing it even more, and mention his teacher like you suggest, but we just feel totally stuck right now.
 
We've definitely tried explaining to him that he's being mean and all that, but he rarely seems to care. Or he might seem to care, but still want to get his way. We can try doing it even more, and mention his teacher like you suggest, but we just feel totally stuck right now.

Contextualising that stuff in a fashion where he might be more receptive to caring is unfortunately the best I can think of, sorry. And yes, that can sound rather horrid that 'you're being mean to your own parents' isn't enough, but at some level many autistic children will take their parents for granted as a regular aspect of their lives. It's actually been something I've grown wary of over the years as I consider my relationship with my own parents, and have tried to be, in my mother's own words, a 'soppy git'. Because a lot of kids just aren't - I know a few for whom that kind of relationship with their family was clearly the case, and have kinda tried to explain to them, even as young adults, how fostering a good relationship with their parents can be a reciprocal loop.
 
One of the best things I have done, as someone with aspergers, is to stop worrying so much about the future. It was killing me with high levels of stress and anxiety.

Good things will happen in life, bad things will happen, I will die one day but that shouldn't stop me from enjoying life and worrying about it won't delay the inevitable.

My oldest nephew I think has aspergers and it will be my job to guide him to a good path in life. he's still young, lacks any kind of cynicism. I want him to be a kind hearted person who is happy, who treats people with empathy and respect.
 
One of the best things I have done, as someone with aspergers, is to stop worrying so much about the future. It was killing me with high levels of stress and anxiety.

Good things will happen in life, bad things will happen, I will die one day but that shouldn't stop me from enjoying life and worrying about it won't delay the inevitable.

My oldest nephew I think has aspergers and it will be my job to guide him to a good path in life. he's still young, lacks any kind of cynicism. I want him to be a kind hearted person who is happy, who treats people with empathy and respect.

Coming to terms with uncertainty, and/or risk taking is another important lesson. I know a guy on the spectrum who just... refuses to do something without a guarantee unless I press him about it for a few hours, because he just does not like the possibility he might not get anything back for his investment. But well, so much of life is built on such uncertainty, and so learning to cope with that is important.
 
Working today on our autism forum. Changed to WordPress and now everything is running smoothly. Main issue is, even though I have AS, I don't want to "get it wrong".
 
Coming to terms with uncertainty, and/or risk taking is another important lesson. I know a guy on the spectrum who just... refuses to do something without a guarantee unless I press him about it for a few hours, because he just does not like the possibility he might not get anything back for his investment. But well, so much of life is built on such uncertainty, and so learning to cope with that is important.

I am extremely afraid of large crowds or enclosed places with a lot of people.

However I saw Elton John in concert by myself in 2015 and had a blast. I went to disneyworld a month later and spent most of the time without my family and I did fine. I saw the trans siberian orchestra last december and I did just fine.

i'm seeing hans zimmer live in a month and a half and queen in august.

I can't let fear control me. If i did imagine all the fun stuff in life i'd miss.
 
I am. Although my appointment is 7 months out. There are resources to help you if you feel like you're struggling in life, especially with work or school. Just depends on how much you want to know and if you think it'll change anything in life.

Certainty and clarity about one's self. Just knowing what it is that sets you apart, and frames the context you live in, is immensely useful.

Who would I even go to for that sort of thing, a psychiatrist?
 
Working today on our autism forum. Changed to WordPress and now everything is running smoothly. Main issue is, even though I have AS, I don't want to "get it wrong".

Understandable. There's a lot of varied perceptions rooted in half truths, and you're trying to cater to a group that, as I've mentioned in the last few posts (god, I can't help myself today), often like certainty.

In that sense then, just try to admit to the varied, individual experiences even within the broad framework that defines autism. Don't try to be singular or definitive, admit to your own fallibility, and it should be fine.

I am extremely afraid of large crowds or enclosed places with a lot of people.

However I saw Elton John in concert by myself in 2015 and had a blast. I went to disneyworld a month later and spent most of the time without my family and I did fine. I saw the trans siberian orchestra last december and I did just fine.

i'm seeing hans zimmer live in a month and a half and queen in august.

I can't let fear control me. If i did imagine all the fun stuff in life i'd miss.

Yep. Something that's felt like one of the biggest achievements of my life was learning how to take a train by myself, even as a teenager. I had some experience with the tube and such because I'd already travelled with my family to London for the Olympics. So it wasn't too far a step to then say, go with my father to the MCM expo. Then to go without him, using the exact same route. Now I can just grab the train as I like and feel totally comfortable - headed up to Oxford to see the Pitt Rivers museum last week, and my family have never made that trip.

Who would I even go to for that sort of thing, a psychiatrist?

Depends on what country you live in and what services are available. But yes, generally a psychiatrist.
 
Yep. Something that's felt like one of the biggest achievements of my life was learning how to take a train by myself, even as a teenager. I had some experience with the tube and such because I'd already travelled with my family to London for the Olympics. So it wasn't too far a step to then say, go with my father to the MCM expo. Then to go without him, using the exact same route. Now I can just grab the train as I like and feel totally comfortable - headed up to Oxford to see the Pitt Rivers museum last week, and my family have never made that trip.

I'm currently working on my addiction problems. Not booze or anything illegal, but I drink way too much coffee. It makes my heart race and anxiety problems, and interferes with sleep. My goal is to bring it down to one cup per day.
 
I'm currently working on my addiction problems. Not booze or anything illegal, but I drink way too much coffee. It makes my heart race and anxiety problems, and interferes with sleep. My goal is to bring it down to one cup per day.

Chocolate is that for me. It is not easy, to be sure.
 
Who would I even go to for that sort of thing, a psychiatrist?

As has been mentioned, it really depends on the country. Where I am anyway there's no real set-standard way of diagnosing somebody as an adult. What I would recommend, if possible in your area, is if you can try and see if you can get a referral or recommendation for somebody who specialises in Autism in Adults and try to see if you could get an assessment from them.
 
We've definitely tried explaining to him that he's being mean and all that, but he rarely seems to care. Or he might seem to care, but still want to get his way. We can try doing it even more, and mention his teacher like you suggest, but we just feel totally stuck right now.
He can learn behaviors, but they're not going to be natural behaviors. It's always going to be an internal battle between the two. As he gets older, he'll be able to rationalize it on his own. What he wants is always going to override what anyone else thinks of his behavior, but he'll be able to figure out what is appropriate on the outside. Trying to coax him into doing something because someone else wouldn't like it, is probably going to fail.

What kind of structure have you set up for summer? give him a few weeks to adjust to summer schedule, but keep it consistant.
 
Yep. Something that's felt like one of the biggest achievements of my life was learning how to take a train by myself, even as a teenager.

This is something that no matter what, I can't do myself. I've tried getting into programming multiple times but it's just not something I can do myself. It's also why I can never lose weight. It's something I need someone to help me with. It's partly why I can't find a job no matter what. That, and my fear of failure.
 
...Holy fuck.

Yeah, in this regard you need to challenge him, though I cannot fully speak as to how effective it will be in the short term. I would personally pick up on the point that what he's ultimately wanting is quite selfish and mean, and is that really what he wants to be? How can he think that's okay because it's what he wants? Does he think his old teacher would like him bullying his own parents? Does he think anyone would like him for doing that? If there's a fictional character he really likes - I dunno, Batman or whatever - would they really approve of this kind of behaviour?

It's guilt tripping, yes, but you can't let up on him. It can be one of the hardest things to teach someone with autism that they're in the wrong, especially when they're young, but it is among the most essential lessons they'll ever learn.

This is too true, and they can try to guilt it back onto you. There were several occasions when my stepson would respond with an infuriating "Wait... so I'm the bad guy here?" when confronted about his wrongdoings. In his mind you're the bad guy for putting him in the situation that led to his actions. And you can't simply reply with a blunt "yes", because that makes it all worse.
 
Who would I even go to for that sort of thing, a psychiatrist?
Yeah. It's a very long drawn out process though that can take a few months. As an adult, we've already learned coping mechanisms to mimic normal behaviors. It's being able to see past those things.

Mine is a bit different. I am a carrier of Fragile X. A full mutation is considered 200 repeats and I'm at 150. The UC Davis Mind Institute has a Dr there that does research about symptomatic carriers of Fragile X.
 
He can learn behaviors, but they're not going to be natural behaviors. It's always going to be an internal battle between the two. As he gets older, he'll be able to rationalize it on his own. What he wants is always going to override what anyone else thinks of his behavior, but he'll be able to figure out what is appropriate on the outside. Trying to coax him into doing something because someone else wouldn't like it, is probably going to fail.

What kind of structure have you set up for summer? give him a few weeks to adjust to summer schedule, but keep it consistant.

...Oh yeah, how did that slip my mind? Kid needs a new framework to adjust to.

Otherwise, your point does make me realise one of the frustrations in trying to be autistic and helping others deal with either their own condition, or managing others with such - I'm biased towards my own circumstances. So I guess I'm trying to apply what I figure might work on me, but that might not be true here.
 
I'm trying to work on my fear of leaving my enviroment. Mainly because I know I'm missing so much, but I keep letting fear stop me from doing stuff I'd like to do.
This is one aspect that I'm totally opposite on. I prefer to be alone and will explore on my own. I hate people interjecting their opinion about what I can and can't do. Now if it's going out and actually being social with other people... Not doing it.

The last time it happened was at student orientation when I transferred. At the end of the day, they want you to go meet members of clubs and organizations on the campus. They give out these cards for the clubs to sign and with enough signatures, you can win a prize. All I wanted to do at that point was just leave. It was total BS to me.

I will sit alone in a cafeteria. I hate group projects. I don't like mingling with classmates. But I can tolerate being in crowded areas as long as no one gives a shot about what I'm doing.
 
I just got home from work. My son comes off like he's deliberately missing the point of everything I say. When I tell him that hitting and screaming is bad, he argues "but when is it GOOD?". When I told him that hitting his mom is possibly the worst thing he could do, he asked "when IS it ok to do?" Repeat ad naseum. As you can tell, he has been saying "but" a lot. Sometimes when his behavior is so bad we get upset, he starts stammering "but but but but but but" as he buys time to think of an excuse or argument. I told him just now that I don't want to hear any more buts or arguments.

We try to follow a daily schedule as much as we can. We're normally both at work all week and his grandmother watches the kids but he gets up, has breakfast, gets dressed, and so on. There's nothing really to do in the middle of the day when his baby sister takes a nap and so on.
 
This is one aspect that I'm totally opposite on. I prefer to be alone and will explore on my own. I hate people interjecting their opinion about what I can and can't do. Now if it's going out and actually being social with other people... Not doing it.

The last time it happened was at student orientation when I transferred. At the end of the day, they want you to go meet members of clubs and organizations on the campus. They give out these cards for the clubs to sign and with enough signatures, you can win a prize. All I wanted to do at that point was just leave. It was total BS to me.

I will sit alone in a cafeteria. I hate group projects. I don't like mingling with classmates. But I can tolerate being in crowded areas as long as no one gives a shot about what I'm doing.


I don't mind exploring on my own either when I actually do it? And I really don't long for company either. But its really just getting out of my house. Or rather, there's like an area from one place about 2 miles away from my house, to another about 3 miles from my house, thats generally the places I go, and going other places is scary for me.

But I'd love to explore, I want to do it more.
 
I just got home from work. My son comes off like he's deliberately missing the point of everything I say. When I tell him that hitting and screaming is bad, he argues "but when is it GOOD?". When I told him that hitting his mom is possibly the worst thing he could do, he asked "when IS it ok to do?" Repeat ad naseum. As you can tell, he has been saying "but" a lot. Sometimes when his behavior is so bad we get upset, he starts stammering "but but but but but but" as he buys time to think of an excuse or argument. I told him just now that I don't want to hear any more buts or arguments.

We try to follow a daily schedule as much as we can. We're normally both at work all week and his grandmother watches the kids but he gets up, has breakfast, gets dressed, and so on. There's nothing really to do in the middle of the day when his baby sister takes a nap and so on.

Try sitting him down and calming him. Then, rather than tell him why it is wrong, put it from the perspective of how would you feel if Mum hit you? You wouldn't like it, would you? Now, think how much you love Mum, and that's how much she loves you, it isn't nice, etc. And explain it from a different angle.

I know it's hard, but rather than just telling him he's wrong, he clearly doesn't want to hear that. You need to resonate with him coming from a different angle.

Source: I am autistic, and I work primarily one to one with a child who has severe autism.
 
Try sitting him down and calming him. Then, rather than tell him why it is wrong, put it from the perspective of how would you feel if Mum hit you? You wouldn't like it, would you? Now, think how much you love Mum, and that's how much she loves you, it isn't nice, etc. And explain it from a different angle.

I know it's hard, but rather than just telling him he's wrong, he clearly doesn't want to hear that. You need to resonate with him coming from a different angle.

Source: I am autistic, and I work primarily one to one with a child who has severe autism.

Oh, I did all this. I've done it all before, too. I don't just tell him he's wrong and do what we say and so on. I talk to him about his friends and how would he like it if people treated him that way. That's what makes this so frustrating.
 
I just got home from work. My son comes off like he's deliberately missing the point of everything I say. When I tell him that hitting and screaming is bad, he argues "but when is it GOOD?". When I told him that hitting his mom is possibly the worst thing he could do, he asked "when IS it ok to do?" Repeat ad naseum. As you can tell, he has been saying "but" a lot. Sometimes when his behavior is so bad we get upset, he starts stammering "but but but but but but" as he buys time to think of an excuse or argument. I told him just now that I don't want to hear any more buts or arguments.

From the sounds of it, he is. At the very least, he's fishing for the possibility that it might be acceptable, ergo, it's fine for him to do it in general. Flawed logic, but not hard to see where it stems from.
 
Oh, I did all this. I've done it all before, too. I don't just tell him he's wrong and do what we say and so on. I talk to him about his friends and how would he like it if people treated him that way. That's what makes this so frustrating.

Sorry to say it, but you need to find a different angle. Have you tried letting him decide his own punishment for bad behaviour? Maybe introduce a peg system with him (Green is good, yellow is a minor and red is a major i.e. hitting)?
 
I'm asking because I didn't know if visually impaired people were included in your target audience.

I have not given it much thought. I am just setting it up as of now.

I just got home from work. My son comes off like he's deliberately missing the point of everything I say.

He's not. He literally doesn't understand why it is bad. You need to come at the problem from a much more steamlined point of view rather than straight "rules". Explain to him WHY it is not okay to hit people. As of now, he is interpreting what you are saying in the only way he knows how.
 
I realized several months ago my older brother quite possibly has struggled autism his entire life which went untreated and unnoticed. A quick background: 36 yrs old, joined army fresh out of high school, came back after his service. Got a young girl pregnant, had a kid, got married and divorced in less than a year. Moved in with my mom for the past 10 years and had a difficult time getting a job only landing small paying security positions. Doesn't drink or do drugs. Here's some more in depth points.

- Was held back in 1st grade, and even then he struggled learning his entire school life.

- He was typically a 'C" student with occasional "D" and "F" Only getting high marks in PE and art.

- He has always been socially awkward (and I was never social butterfly) but he never had friends of his own. My friends were always his friends.Which I could argue we were only a year apart in age, in the same grade so we hung out with the same kids.

- But even now in his mid 30's he has no real friends, only online friends he's never meet in person. Even around our family when we're all together he has this need to "escape" and says he's "going to the gym" "getting gas" but he's always gone for hours at a time. And when he is at home he's glued to Netflix watching reruns of old shows. He shows little interest in family, only poking his head out for the occasional "Hi". It's difficult to hold a basic conversation with him because he doesn't pay attention, spaces out, or he'll say some random things, laugh then walk away.

- He was in the Army during the peak of the Afghan/Iraq wars and was deployed twice. So I'm certain a lot of his actions are effects of PTSD (which he was diagnosed with). He was discharged after his service was over. He always remained in his "soldier mentality" even years after he was out.

- He keeps to himself, rarely express an opinion. Hates confrontation and just "shuts down" when he's in a argument. Like he can't do it.

Does this sound like someone on the spectrum? Sorry if any of this sounded offending or ignorant in any way. I have no experience with autism. Only stories I hear from other parents with children on the spectrum.
 
I have not given it much thought. I am just setting it up as of now.



He's not. He literally doesn't understand why it is bad. You need to come at the problem from a much more steamlined point of view rather than straight "rules". Explain to him WHY it is not okay to hit people. As of now, he is interpreting what you are saying in the only way he knows how.

Well, he can be deliberately missing the point while still not properly understanding the problem - the latter is often what feeds the former.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom