A lot of you people don't realize how much "nigger" hurts African Americans emotionally on the inside when used.
Its not something we can throw back at anyone else with an equivalent phrase. we have a history of hundreds upon hundreds of years of traumatization ingrained in us from that word.
There is no word like it, that is why it is specifically used by white people for shock value either online or offline to dehumanize black americans. You have to understand this before dismissing criticism of someone using that word. We only became 'free' 40 years ago or so, and its obvious we still have a long way to go.
Just quoting your post since it was this kind of explanation which helped me realise the gravity of the word. It's not "just a word" and people who get upset by it aren't "just special little snowflakes." Words like n***er and f***ot are maybe the most abusive in the English language. Historically, the majority of people who used these words used them to abuse vulnerable minorities, so naturally those minorities have developed a negative association with those words.
It's like if someone was abusing you and they were always calling you... it's difficult to even think of something which would be on the same level, but let's say they called you fatty because you were overweight. If you were abused with that word every day you would soon develop a really negative association with it. Now imagine if your family had been abused, enslaved, and systematically oppressed for generations and the justification was always some bullshit like: "They're just fatties." You probably wouldn't use the word yourself unless it was cathartic somehow, the same way some black people like to use the word n***a, though even then the pronunciation and spelling is usually altered.
It's actually kind of interesting how slurs can later develop positive meanings though. Afaik the word "slut" used to be extremely negative (and probably still is for some people) but in my personal experience the word has almost always been used positively or jokingly. Language evolves. As time moves on and people get further away from the abuse which generated the negative associations, I think the taboo of some words will fade. Like, wasn't Kraut a slur for Germans around WW2? How many Germans today would actually be offended by that word, if they even knew what it meant? Honest question but my intuition tells me not many. Germans were not nearly abused as much or for as long as black people were though so that's likely why.
Continuing with the example of "slut" though, I hope most of us can see how it might be cathartic to take ownership of the word and use it in a positive way on your own terms. And even though the word was mostly used to shame women, it can also be cathartic for men to use the word, since sexual shame in general was something which both genders have faced. There's also something cathartic about swearing in general, saying words like fuck/cunt/bitch or whatever is in some way an assertion of your independence, since those words were forbidden and punished when we were children it feels good to say them as an adult and face no negative consequences. Of course, it's mostly okay to say those kinds of swear words since afaik they haven't been used to systematically abuse any particular group of people. But I do want to point out that white people might get the same kind of rush from using racial slurs, without understanding the full effect those slurs will have on minorities.
I like to think the best of people, I want to believe that PewDiePie is just ignorant about how and why people would be upset by the use of a word like n***er. He used to say f***ot a lot too but then he stopped when his fans were complaining about it. I think he understands that these words upset people but, since he's probably never suffered harsh abuse himself, I don't think he understands
why these words upset people. To him, these words are just like dick/fucker/bastard or something. And there's probably a part of his immature brain which feels a need to assert his independence and saying words which people don't want him to say feels like a harmless way to do it. That's what I want to believe, anyway. There's some law/rule of thumb: "Never assume malice when stupidity explains it." Sorry for the super long post, thanks if you read this far