• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

Status
Not open for further replies.
The ADVOCATE magazine listed the 25 GAYEST cities in America. And here they are:

25. Kansas City, Mo.
24. Boston
23. Oakland, Calif.
22. Eugene, Ore.
21. Madison, Wis.
20. Salem, Ore.
19. Pittsburgh
18. San Francisco
17. New Orleans
16. Washington, D.C.
15. Denver, CO
14. Long Beach, CA
13. Austin, TX
12. Portland, OR
11. Little Rock, AR
10. Grand Raids, MI
9. Atlanta, GA
8. Knoxville, TN
7. Minneapolis, MN
6. Ann Arbor, MI
5. Seattle, WA
4. Ft. Lauderdale, FL
3. Cambrdge, MA
2. Orlando, FL
1. Salt Lake City, UT

*Raises eyebrow* so which cities did you guys visit/do you live in?
Seattle reporting in. (Though not gay enough IMO.)

Kinda surprised Oregon's mentioned three times.
 
I did just get back form my first Orlando Gay Chorus practice/orientation and it was a record turnout for new members. We're at 120+ members!

Want a self esteem boost? Join a gay choir as a new member and get drool all over you all night long...all night...all night long </RubyRod>

"I have a long term partner" didn't even make em blink.


cause Florida is America's wang?

I knew I was attracted to this state for a reason. I thought it was so we could ride our Harleys all Winter long. Dummy me.
 
Bahaha, just looked at their site. Quite a scientific breakdown they were going on...

tumblr_lxjj5le15C1qdoh71.jpg
Oh dear lord. A WNBA team makes you gay now?

Me and a friend that teaches ASL in Pidgin/Signed English format both laughed at his comment. So that's all that matters to me. I'm fine being an "ignorant prick" because I know I'm right and he's an elitist douche because he wants people to learn a totally different grammar format instead of using whatever is easier for people to use the sign/vocabulary that is still a part of that rigid grammar/language rules. :|

Going back a bit here, but why did the the creators decide to use a different grammar structure anyway? Deaf people read and write standard English. So why make people learn two grammar systems?
 
Going back a bit here, but why did the the creators decide to use a different grammar structure anyway? Deaf people read and write standard English. So why make people learn two grammar systems?

I honestly have no clue. I think it's because (at least for ASL, I can't speak for other language/region's SL's) it's based on French (kinda like English... *bah-dum-psh?*) because a Frenchmen started it for a deaf group. Then like English it kinda took on it's own forum/vocabulary.

And yes: That's what one of my friends said: "I'll sign however the hell I want." And this person teaches "ASL"/signs in Pidgin formats to hearing people that want to learn. So that elitist douche and Galludet can go fuck themselves.
 
I honestly have no clue. I think it's because (at least for ASL, I can't speak for other language/region's SL's) it's based on French (kinda like English... *bah-dum-psh?*) because a Frenchmen started it for a deaf group. Then like English it kinda took on it's own forum/vocabulary.

And yes: That's what one of my friends said: "I'll sign however the hell I want." And this person teaches "ASL"/signs in Pidgin formats to hearing people that want to learn. So that elitist douche and Galludet can go fuck themselves.

Damn right. Thanks for the explanation.
 
No Los Angeles or West Hollywood? The fuck?
Man I dunno, I was really disappointed with WeHo when I was out there, I mean I had a great time and loved the area, but I was honestly expecting more.

Then again, none of the big city gay areas I've been to is even on that list. However Salt Lake is not surprising at all, looking at FB gazillion gay friends in that area, I should probably pay it a visit some time hah.
 
Damn right. Thanks for the explanation.

I feel the grammar is too rigid in ASL at times. It's probably why I prefer Pidgin/Signed English. I can make the same mistakes in English sentences in sign and for the most part it's easier to "translate" sentences from English to "ASL"/Pidgin so someone can "get the gist" if they can't lip-read but know signs and the person talking is a hearing/little-known-signs signer.

Speaking of sign language, I found this funny enough to share: Womanizer

"Songs in Sign" is a new meme to me.

I also had someone link to this which is OMG NSFW.
 
I feel the grammar is too rigid in ASL at times. It's probably why I prefer Pidgin/Signed English. I can make the same mistakes in English sentences in sign and for the most part it's easier to "translate" sentences from English to "ASL"/Pidgin so someone can "get the gist" if they can't lip-read but know signs and the person talking is a hearing/little-known-signs signer.
I struggle enough with spoken grammar, that confused the hell out of me :) I did like the way topics work though, if I understood it correctly.
 
I struggle enough with spoken grammar, that confused the hell out of me :) I did like the way topics work though, if I understood it correctly.

Having to worry about the "3D space" (Future is in front, present is your "body" past is behind/over the shoulder) is enough of a headache for me. Restructuring my sentences to "proper grammar" when I have terrible grammar in English already is a headache.

But ASL/signs also require massive facial expressions that Pidgin kinda loses (at least to me it does) which also loses some of the "voice" of ASL. So I can see why some of the Deaf community probably wouldn't like Pidgin because of that "attack on their culture" but *shrug*.
 
I did just get back form my first Orlando Gay Chorus practice/orientation and it was a record turnout for new members. We're at 120+ members!

Want a self esteem boost? Join a gay choir as a new member and get drool all over you all night long...all night...all night long </RubyRod>

"I have a long term partner" didn't even make em blink.




I knew I was attracted to this state for a reason. I thought it was so we could ride our Harleys all Winter long. Dummy me.

Other than the blatant cruising, how was it? :)
 
Man I dunno, I was really disappointed with WeHo when I was out there, I mean I had a great time and loved the area, but I was honestly expecting more.

Then again, none of the big city gay areas I've been to is even on that list. However Salt Lake is not surprising at all, looking at FB gazillion gay friends in that area, I should probably pay it a visit some time hah.

I mean, I live right by WeHo, and it's the gayest. Mormons are hot though, I'd love to go to Salt Lake.
 
I loved it. 3 hours wasn't enough. I really missed the feeling only choral singing can give you. Closest thing to church I have.

And man are they good! Are you going to GALA?

I'm glad! :)

And ugh, I WISH I was going to GALA, but I can't get away. :(

I warn you though, GALA's like Pride x10. You think the cruising in your rehearsals is bad? Wait until you get to the hotel during GALA...
 
I'm glad! :)

And ugh, I WISH I was going to GALA, but I can't get away. :(

I warn you though, GALA's like Pride x10. You think the cruising in your rehearsals is bad? Wait until you get to the hotel during GALA...

I was "worried" about that a bit on the car ride home. It's something I can handle its just not something I'm used to. We're definitely not scene gays. Haha.

The amount of guys with Grindr open during break was hysterical!
 
I mean, I live right by WeHo, and it's the gayest. Mormons are hot though, I'd love to go to Salt Lake.
Tell me about it, I don't think a single one of the guys in SLC isn't hot.

And man, I actually went and did a RealJock meetup in NYC a few months back and actually wouldn't mind participating in any kind of GayGAF meetup whereever it may be.

Also, completely random, but we should do a community video thing. We did one on RJ last year and it was really neat as you get to see/hear people and talk about various things. When we did it we had to talk about three important things happening in the summer. It was a really cool idea and I think it'd work well here.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJPm22SezU4
 
Having to worry about the "3D space" (Future is in front, present is your "body" past is behind/over the shoulder) is enough of a headache for me. Restructuring my sentences to "proper grammar" when I have terrible grammar in English already is a headache.

But ASL/signs also require massive facial expressions that Pidgin kinda loses (at least to me it does) which also loses some of the "voice" of ASL. So I can see why some of the Deaf community probably wouldn't like Pidgin because of that "attack on their culture" but *shrug*.
It's more or less the same in Spanish. You have the propper sign language and you also have bi-modal, which mixes sign and spoken and is mainly used to quickly give families a communication tool while getting the kid used to lip reading and paying attention to sounds with whichever residual hearing they have. They will eventually learn propper SL really quick as soon as they're put in contact with other deaf people so there's no downsides.

Also, the main reason for the differences between SL and spoken languages is that SL is a natural language that happened and evolved as such so the disconnection is completely normal, and even keeps evolving. For example, I know a friend of a friend whose parents are deaf but he's not so SL is his mother tongue (along with spoken Spanish, which he learnt from other relatives, TV and school), but with the peculiarity that he's often told he signs like and old person and uses outdated signs because he hasn't been a lot in contact with deaf people of his age.
 
I'm not muscled at all
and not a huge cock neither
and i've at least had hook up with hunky guys, but not Caucasian, more asian or black! They like my face i guess!
 
Maybe someone should compile a list of our locations :)

Random question: I was poking through Grindr, and I start talking to this guy. He goes "u masc?" Now, besides the fact that I tend to lean more on the masculine side but don't think it necessarily matters in a community that's supposed to be accepting of all types of people... who the fuck is ever gonna answer "uh, no, sorry. I'm SUPER feminine!" But really.

You'd think that but nope, gays are some of the most cliquish people ever. It's really ironic when a minority group excludes one other. To me, masculinity is such as joke word that gets tossed around by those who are most likely both shallow and insecure. Let's face it, we all exhibit feminine qualities be it straight or gay. "Straight acting" is silly as well.
 
again, I don't think that's a gay thing, that's a "I'M LOOKING FOR A DATE AND/OR SEX" thing. It sucks, but it pops up in males, females, gays and straights.
 
again, I don't think that's a gay thing, that's a "I'M LOOKING FOR A DATE AND/OR SEX" thing. It sucks, but it pops up in males, females, gays and straights.

This keeps coming up.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences in sexual partners relating to feminine/masculine qualities. It's not cliquish or bigoted or wrong in any way.

People are turned on by what they are turned on by, and equally turned off by other traits.

For me, my cock goes limp as soon as someone shows signs of being overtly feminine. That's the way if goes. I don't feel good or bad about it. It simply is.

Others find the guys I'm attracted to gross or too masculine. And that's fine. There really is someone for everyone.

I just see too much grief given to guys that prefer or are turned on by certain guys.

I do agree that "straight acting" is a silly term but it's really just a short hand that's grown around the Internet and more lazy than anything else. Maybe a bit self hating but unintentionally and language is a mutable thing after all.

*not aimed at you or anyone specific, Rez. I just saw the jist and had to chime in.
 
That's basically what I meant, although it was a bit ambiguous.
 
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences in sexual partners relating to feminine/masculine qualities. It's not cliquish or bigoted or wrong in any way.

If we limit our discussion on sexual attraction, then yes, I am totally in agreement with you and Rez. We all have our preferences and no one should feel sorry for what they like or dislike. However, I think the feeling of exclusivity is much more pervasive than that. Krypt0ian, you are a very handsome guy and as far as I can tell, well spoken and intelligent. I would bet that there aren't many instances where you are not well received (and in that sense, maybe you aren't as aware of the cliquishness in the community). However, others aren't so lucky (I would venture to say that some people here can speak from personal experiences), and we're not even talking about dating, just casual associations.

We all tend to gravitate to certain groups, regardless of gender, race or sexual preference. It just seem much more prevalent in the gay community to me. Anyway, just my observation so I could be completely wrong :)
 
If we limit our discussion on sexual attraction, then yes, I am totally in agreement with you and Rez. We all have our preferences and no one should feel sorry for what they like or dislike. However, I think the feeling of exclusivity is much more pervasive than that. Krypt0ian, you are a very handsome guy and as far as I can tell, well spoken and intelligent. I would bet that there aren't many instances where you are not well received (and in that sense, maybe you aren't as aware of the cliquishness in the community). However, others aren't so lucky (I would venture to say that some people here can speak from personal experiences), and we're not even talking about dating, just casual associations.

We all tend to gravitate to certain groups, regardless of gender, race or sexual preference. It just seem much more prevalent in the gay community to me. Anyway, just my observation so I could be completely wrong :)

No no. On a social level, I agree. There are far too many sub groups in the gay community, and that would be fine if they weren't so very exclusionary. It's a lot like High School Extended Anniversary Edition, and while a bit of it is normal, we seem to take it to unnecessary levels.

My comment was after I saw the Grindr reference, and it seems most would agree that preferences are fine. Although I have seen others in the past here tell me it wasn't.
 
My frustration with the whole sexual preference issue ("staight-acting" vs effeminate and everything in between) is that a lot of men who so strictly adhere to only seeking out their "type" tend to exclude anyone else all together, which is to me is a very parochial approach to life and screams denial and an overall unwillingness to accept being a homosexual.

I understand not being sexually attracted to a specific type but they use it more often than not as an excuse not to interact with these types at all, which creates a huge divide in the community.

I openly admit that I am not attracted to effeminate men, but a lot of my friends have those traits and it doesn't bother me in the least. I can't count how many times I've dated guys who constantly feel the need to reassert their masculinity by flat out saying they aren't into fems. Get over it already.
 
What saddens me most is that we still have these discussions across all gay communities. Preferences aside we should honestly be embracing everyone, but we're so darn judgmental.
 
I openly admit that I am not attracted to effeminate men, but a lot of my friends have those traits and it doesn't bother me in the least. I can't count how many times I've dated guys who constantly feel the need to reassert their masculinity by flat out saying they aren't into fems. Get over it already.

Yeah, attraction isn't the issue, it's turning it into a big "no homo" sort of thing.
 
My frustration with the whole sexual preference issue ("staight-acting" vs effeminate and everything in between) is that a lot of men who so strictly adhere to only seeking out their "type" tend to exclude anyone else all together, which is to me is a very parochial approach to life and screams denial and an overall unwillingness to accept being a homosexual.

I understand not being sexually attracted to a specific type but they use it more often than not as an excuse not to interact with these types at all, which creates a huge divide in the community.

I openly admit that I am not attracted to effeminate men, but a lot of my friends have those traits and it doesn't bother me in the least. I can't count how many times I've dated guys who constantly feel the need to reassert their masculinity by flat out saying they aren't into fems. Get over it already.
Well, theres also something I noticed about the gay community:

Masculine men are traditionally into other masculine men.
Feminine men are traditionally more into masculine men.
Masculine men feel 'above' feminine men because they turn them down all the time and hit them up most frequently for dating or hookup
Feminine men feel spurned by masculine men
Masculine men try to hide their identity more from feminine men
Feminine men try to 'out' masculine men to their friends

It's all so interesting. Myself being a "Str8 acting" guy when I was younger I used to have the whole "Can't be seen by fems, cant be around fems, etc" persona but I've matured, but I reckon alot of younger guys still hold that mentality
 
Well, theres also something I noticed about the gay community:

Masculine men are traditionally into other masculine men.
Feminine men are traditionally more into masculine men.
Masculine men feel 'above' feminine men because they turn them down all the time and hit them up most frequently for dating or hookup
Feminine men feel spurned by masculine men
Masculine men try to hide their identity more from feminine men
Feminine men try to 'out' masculine men to their friends

It's all so interesting. Myself being a "Str8 acting" guy when I was younger I used to have the whole "Can't be seen by fems, cant be around fems, etc" persona but I've matured, but I reckon alot of younger guys still hold that mentality

My frustration with the whole sexual preference issue ("staight-acting" vs effeminate and everything in between) is that a lot of men who so strictly adhere to only seeking out their "type" tend to exclude anyone else all together, which is to me is a very parochial approach to life and screams denial and an overall unwillingness to accept being a homosexual.

I understand not being sexually attracted to a specific type but they use it more often than not as an excuse not to interact with these types at all, which creates a huge divide in the community.

I openly admit that I am not attracted to effeminate men, but a lot of my friends have those traits and it doesn't bother me in the least. I can't count how many times I've dated guys who constantly feel the need to reassert their masculinity by flat out saying they aren't into fems. Get over it already.

inarticulate, insecure people belittle others as a means of elevating themselves, news at eleven.
 
Well, theres also something I noticed about the gay community:

Masculine men are traditionally into other masculine men.
Feminine men are traditionally more into masculine men.
Masculine men feel 'above' feminine men because they turn them down all the time and hit them up most frequently for dating or hookup
Feminine men feel spurned by masculine men
Masculine men try to hide their identity more from feminine men
Feminine men try to 'out' masculine men to their friends

It's all so interesting. Myself being a "Str8 acting" guy when I was younger I used to have the whole "Can't be seen by fems, cant be around fems, etc" persona but I've matured, but I reckon alot of younger guys still hold that mentality
Exactly! Which is why I try my damned hardest to squelch this way of thinking when I can, especially with my friends.

As a masculine guy I am not afraid to show any side of myself, always honest and open with my sexuality and behavior. You can be masculine and still show feminine traits, hell that's more healthy than any guy who tells you he's "uber masculine" or "straight-acting".

When it comes to effeminate guys I don't think I'm better than them, hell a lot of the time I think they're better than me. To be able to be give off that side of themselves despite how much grief they get from not only the gay community but society as a whole is admirable.

With my friends they have a bad habit of trying to uplift me for being a masculine guy and put down effeminate guys. I just won't have it when I'm around. I have friends of all types, masculine, feminine, closet cases. What my dating preference is shouldn't extend toward my social views.
 
Wow "gay society" seems really fucked up.
I guess I'm lucky never frequented gay places or gay dating sites or whatever.

greatly, greatly, greatly exaggerated.

surround yourself with stupid people and you'll experience stupid people. and so on.
 
Wow "gay society" seems really fucked up.
I guess I'm lucky never frequented gay places or gay dating sites or whatever.

Eh, its a very very very open generalization. It often falls untrue for many people in the lifestyle. However, I have encountered far too many people whom it does fall true for.

Its the same thing as black gays loving Beyonce and white gays loving Lady Gaga.
 
This keeps coming up.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having preferences in sexual partners relating to feminine/masculine qualities. It's not cliquish or bigoted or wrong in any way.

People are turned on by what they are turned on by, and equally turned off by other traits.

For me, my cock goes limp as soon as someone shows signs of being overtly feminine. That's the way if goes. I don't feel good or bad about it. It simply is.

Others find the guys I'm attracted to gross or too masculine. And that's fine. There really is someone for everyone.

I just see too much grief given to guys that prefer or are turned on by certain guys.

I do agree that "straight acting" is a silly term but it's really just a short hand that's grown around the Internet and more lazy than anything else. Maybe a bit self hating but unintentionally and language is a mutable thing after all.

*not aimed at you or anyone specific, Rez. I just saw the jist and had to chime in.

I completely agree. However, when asked on grindr if "u masc?", what do guys really think the response is gonna be? "Uh, no I'm watching Glee right now and shaving my legs"?

Eh, its a very very very open generalization. It often falls untrue for many people in the lifestyle. However, I have encountered far too many people whom it does fall true for.

Its the same thing as black gays loving Beyonce and white gays loving Lady Gaga.

That's a thing?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom