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[SpaceBridge]

How does that work? It shouldn't matter if the marriage is legal in another country, only if it is legal in the country it is performed in

Which is why its so stupid and such a blatant attack on gay marriage rights. Makes no sense at all. Could be the conservative government pandering to their right-wing base. Either way, I cant wait to see the challenged in courts.

 

[Dead Man]

Which is why its so stupid and such a blatant attack on gay marriage rights. Makes no sense at all. Could be the conservative government pandering to their right-wing base. Either way, I cant wait to see the challenged in courts.

Liked this from the article:

Critics of this attack on LGBT people have noted both online and off that if gay marriages are now without legal standing in Canada if the couple’s homeland forbids them, are Middle Eastern women living in Canada now stripped of their rights to vote, drive a car, or even show their hair? Is being gay now punishable by death in Canada if you’re from Uganda? Is blogging or criticizing your government now illegal for Egyptians living in Canada?

What rubbish.

 

[Icicle]

Does anyone have any stories of encountering people they know in real life on dating websites... or worse?

Just happened to me with a family friend of mine on OkCupid. We have a very high match rating, so if he hasn't already seen me already, I'm sure he will soon. Pretty awkward.

I've also encountered four high school classmates, two members from my college fraternity, and a few other random people I know on there. Since it had been quite a while since this last happened to me, I had forgotten how weird and exposed these run-ins make me feel.

 

[SpaceBridge]

Liked this from the article:



What rubbish.

Certainly the article is on the alarmist side, but that doesnt negate the validity of whats happened.

 

[Dead Man]

Certainly the article is on the alarmist side, but that doesnt negate the validity of whats happened.

I didn't mean that passage was rubbish, but the action by the government. Yeah, it is a bit alarmist, but if you follow the logic through it is the what the government should be doing. Stupidity of the highest order.

 

[lenovox1]

If it makes you feel better, they're all pretty skeezy and probably going nowhere in life. And some of them are straight.

And they're "dancers", too? *gasp* My people.

No, but, seriously, I love when the Andrew Christian people do promotional stuff like this, targeted directly towards gay men. Heaven knows a straight man wouldn't spend $40 on less than yard of fabric that you're supposed to wear underneath your actual clothing.

Aw thanks! You think the valentine's thing is too much though? I'm kinda new to doing these sort of things so i'm just kinda paranoid lol. And Stabbie, i remember you saying you made a mix tape for someone before- that is super super cute <3 i might have to steal that one haha.

He loved the cupcake surprise? He'll definitely love the strawberry heart idea. And maybe he's planning something special for you, too. (Or maybe he's not, no pressure on him.)

Does anyone have any stories of encountering people they know in real life on dating websites... or worse?

Just happened to me with a family friend of mine on OkCupid. We have a very high match rating, so if he hasn't already seen me already, I'm sure he will soon. Pretty awkward.

I've also encountered four high school classmates, two members from my college fraternity, and a few other random people I know on there. Since it had been quite a while since this last happened to me, I had forgotten how weird and exposed these run-ins make me feel.

Eh, happens all the time. These people are on a dating website for some the exact same reasons you are (unless you're a freak like me, and just like filling out the questionnaires and ignoring people's kind messages), and they'll probably have or had the reaction you're having. So, don't worry about it too much, and just do what you probably went to do on there. You know, meeting new and interesting people that you might possibly have a connection with.

 

[Delio]

Andrew Christian "car wash" ad proves without a doubt that God does exist.

JESUS...

 

[ciD_Vain]

He loved the cupcake surprise? He'll definitely love the strawberry heart idea. And maybe he's planning something special for you, too. (Or maybe he's not, no pressure on him.)

Aw, i don't want him to do anything for me. I never ask for anything from him, even on xmas or my bday i told him not to get me anything, even though he did anyway, but they were really small gifts and i really appreciated them. All I'm really happy for is to spend time with him since we're both extremely busy people.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

 

[Basch]

Well, theres also something I noticed about the gay community:

Masculine men are traditionally into other masculine men.
Feminine men are traditionally more into masculine men.
Masculine men feel 'above' feminine men because they turn them down all the time and hit them up most frequently for dating or hookup
Feminine men feel spurned by masculine men
Masculine men try to hide their identity more from feminine men
Feminine men try to 'out' masculine men to their friends

It's all so interesting. Myself being a "Str8 acting" guy when I was younger I used to have the whole "Can't be seen by fems, cant be around fems, etc" persona but I've matured, but I reckon alot of younger guys still hold that mentality

I don't try to act any which way. I've been told I'm masculine and a bit prissy. Only one person thought I was at least bi before I came out. Still, I wrestle with this myself. I try my best to be an example and not see the world in stereotypes and treat everyone with at least a modicum of decency. Still it bothers me here more than ever.

Maybe because I know a couple valley girl types personally, but I understand to a degree. Sometimes they'll appear as pretty shallow and define a stereotype but when you get to know them more you might be surprised. It's the same with all the macho-manly-men. It can be pretty off-putting at first, but more often than not they really are much more than they say they are. Sadly this kind of thing happens all the time. For some, I'm sure it's completely natural, but others I'd say have deeper issues than they are willing to admit.

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Huzzah! Happy Birthday! I turned 23 six days ago. It's not that bad. I'm sure most people feel that way to some degree. I for one can attest. I try to look at it this way, though:

Every day, you're a day older than you were the day before. Instead of looking at your birthday as a reminder that you're older, think of it as a celebration for being who you are. The world has to be reminded of the past 24 years of accomplishments. It simply wouldn't be the same without you.

 

[_Isaac]

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Prove it.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

my college fraternity

Did you ever engage in any super gay hazing rituals like in "straight" college porn?

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Happy Birthday!

 

[woodypop]

Like your own avatar.

I ain't in a sexually suggestive position. Nor can you see the outline of my dick.

Spoiler

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Happy birthday!

 

[ivysaur12]

Holy fuck, the bartenders at this bar are unreal. Too bad theyre mostly straight... This one dude looks just like Matthew Bomer. My god.

 

[dragonlife]

JESUS...

Yeah, some of them weren't bad.

 

[ivysaur12]

Did you ever engage in any super gay hazing rituals like in "straight" college porn?



Happy Birthday!

No, at least I didn't. This is also the #1 question I get asked when I tell gay guys I pledged. My roommate is also "mortified" his roommate is a "frat bro", so that's cool.

Bromosexuals ahoy.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

Thank you Basch Ratsky and woody!

Im sitting here alone gettin my drank on! Gotta work in the AM! I think I'll finally talk to that hot bald, lightskin, Boris Kodjoe-lookin coworker and make friends. We already do that "Smile and say hi" awkward thing in the office.

I actually feel like playing some mahvel. Where mah Bark252 at?

sidenote: amaretto on the rocks >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

<3

 

[Mystic Theurge]

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Happy Birthday! Are you planning on doing anything?

 

[red13th]

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Happy birthday!

 

[Laffer]

for valentine's day, i'm planning on making a whole bunch of chocolate covered strawberries and arranging them to look like one giant chocolate covered heart.

That's soooo cute! Please do that (and share a picture with us!)

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

Oh, happy birthday, man!!!

 

[Odinson]

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

I actually feel like playing some mahvel. Where mah Bark252 at?

sidenote: amaretto on the rocks >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

<3

Missed u yesterday... I was on around 9

 

[Alcoori]

So I was watching the latest Tyler Oakley video and DAMN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUy6GhF1lNQ

 

[Laffer]

So I was watching the latest Taylor Oakley video and DAMN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUy6GhF1lNQ

My ass is hungry -> I am MUNGRY

Do you guys actually say that?! It's hilarious

 

[Alcoori]

My ass is hungry -> I am MUNGRY

Do you guys actually say that?! It's hilarious

I don't and have never heard anyone say that but I'd use it sure, why not?

I was more transfixed by that utterly cute Aussie guy. Apparently he is in NYC right now. Not sure if he's moving here or just staying for a little bit but if he is staying... Well I'll have to randomly find myself in the same bar as him.

Edit: oh nvm, he's just staying for a little bit. Boo.

 

[7threst]

I am mungry...

Never heard of that haha. It does sound hilarious

 

[lenovox1]

My ass is hungry -> I am MUNGRY

Do you guys actually say that?! It's hilarious

Only Tyler Oakley and a select few actually talk like that.

I still think I'm going to try to sneak it into a normal conversation this week, just to see if anyone gets it.

 

[Laffer]

I don't and have never heard anyone say that but I'd use it sure, why not?

I was more transfixed by that utterly cute Aussie guy. Apparently he is in NYC right now. Not sure if he's moving here or just staying for a little bit but if he is staying... Well I'll have to randomly find myself in the same bar as him.

Edit: oh nvm, he's just staying for a little bit. Boo.

He is really cute, but he seems pretty self-conceited.

Returning to the subject, I'm an English language learner and I would love to know funny expressions that I could actually use. I bet there are a lot in the gay scene.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

Happy Birthday! Are you planning on doing anything?

thanks! I want to order some alcoholic cupcakes and eat it with a close friend who i can scoop hope i score. its long overdue.

Happy birthday!

Thanks

Oh, happy birthday, man!!!

Thank you so much!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!



Missed u yesterday... I was on around 9

I miss you too! Thanks! Youre gonna have to make it up to me. Warm that kinect up.

 

[Spiritreaver]

Oh my god yes. He is a cutey

Aw shucks, thanks! I'm surprised anyone watched the video, haha.

Happy birthday Mr. Snowman!!!! Let me know when you want your big birthday bearhug.

 

[Sagitario]

Snowman, happy birthday!
24... love that number!

I came out to a co-worker last night. It felt... surprisingly OK**, so far my experiences with coming out have been positive, so I think it definitely gets easier.

**I blame the alcohol, mostly all the beer he had!

 

[ciD_Vain]

My bday is today Hitting the ripe ol age of 24. At least I look good.

I'm late but happy birthday!

That's soooo cute! Please do that (and share a picture with us!)

We'll see how it turns out first haha.

 

[The Abominable Snowman]

Happy birthday Mr. Snowman!!!! Let me know when you want your big birthday bearhug.

*Hops into your arms *

I'm late but happy birthday!

thank you !!!

Snowman, happy birthday!
24... love that number!

I came out to a co-worker last night. It felt... surprisingly OK**, so far my experiences with coming out have been positive, so I think it definitely gets easier.

**I blame the alcohol, mostly all the beer he had!

Thanks man! I hope your "Coming out to a coworker" goes better than mine! "Overly gay friendly" coworkers can be so annoying!

 

[Dr. Malik]

Omg, happy birthday!

 

[Mr_Zombie]

Hi GayGAF.

I've been lurking here for months pucking a courage to ask a question: how do one know that one is gay? I know this is probably a stupid question and probably many of you laugh at this right now, but... for someone who doesn't have anyone to talk to about this (no gay friends here; the only gay guy I know I lost contact with long time ago and I've learned about his sexuality after that), it's not that simple :/

I've been attracted to male body (well, body and facial hair >_>) since I remember. Even as a teenager I've paid more attention to male actors than female actresses in porn movies, photos or even various TV shows but back then I thought this was normal ("hey, I'm just checking him out to see what a man should do during sex", or "I'm just comparing dicks"). But as I grew older I found that I've simply stopped being interested in female-only scenes to the point I've started watching gay porno or even live cam feeds. And I've been enjoying it. Right now I have like 4 tumblr galleries with guys photos at my smartphone.

I still like to look at nice looking women, but I don't feel attracted to them sexually.

However, I haven't even thought about making out with a guy; never been fantasizing about this; never been in relationship either (gay or straight). It sounds crazy, but to try myself out last summer I even went to nude beach near the place I live (which basically is a gay beach nowadays - the men to women ratio is like 100:1 and there were men literally giving blowjobs to themselves in the open) and I felt nothing; went to steam bath the other day and a guy (quite good looking, although with a beer belly) sitting in front of me started jerking off and at first I felt excited, but then started to feel kind of uncomfortable (felt even more uncomfortable since the guy started following me when I was trying to change room >_>).

I have no idea whether I'm scared of admitting this to myself (although I feel that I accepted it, slowly but finally accepted), am I not gay or am I simply just not ready for a relationship or a casual sex with a guy (and I'm almost 26yo ffs :/). Whenever I think about this (and it's hard not to when you constantly hear "hey, do you have a girlfriend?" or see your colleagues marrying and having kids) I feel confused as hell about myself.

Sorry for this rant; I usually don't like bothering others with my own problems, especially as personal as sexual life, but I felt I just had to share this with someone because it simply drives me crazy.

 

[mantidor]

Is not a dumb question, many, many gay people feel the same, and even straight people. I lately been feeling very lucky that it was crystal clear for me since I was 6, but is not the same for everyone, because sexuality has a lot of greys, is never black and white.

I don't have much advice though, but random encounters with anonymous people, female or male, is not really something I would consider.

 

[7threst]

It's really hard to find out what's your 'thing' so to speak; even your sexuality is pretty hard to find out. I kind of grew into it, finding out my preferences as I go. I did notice however, that when I admitted to myself fully that I was gay, I could cope with my preferences better. Before I fully admitted I was gay, I still had sexual encounters but kind of felt guilty afterwards, I guess because being gay isn't "the standard" and that is something you realize. But then, when I fully came out to myself, and a while after that to some close friends and family, it became easier and easier to recognize which it was I was looking for in man.

However, first you have to find out if you are gay, bi, or heterosexual. The way to find out probably differs from person to person.

Hmmm, I just realise my post isn't really helping, sorry for that...

 

[Dead Man]

Yeah, nothing dumb about those questions, they are completely normal. For some it is crystal clear, for others (like me lol) it took some experimentation and inner dialogue to find out what made me tick, and that is still in a state of flux. Just take your time, and remember there is no 'right way' to be, other than the way that makes you happiest.

 

[Dr. Malik]

Hi GayGAF.

I've been lurking here for months pucking a courage to ask a question: how do one know that one is gay? I know this is probably a stupid question and probably many of you laugh at this right now, but... for someone who doesn't have anyone to talk to about this (no gay friends here; the only gay guy I know I lost contact with long time ago and I've learned about his sexuality after that), it's not that simple :/

I've been attracted to male body (well, body and facial hair >_>) since I remember. Even as a teenager I've paid more attention to male actors than female actresses in porn movies, photos or even various TV shows but back then I thought this was normal ("hey, I'm just checking him out to see what a man should do during sex", or "I'm just comparing dicks"). But as I grew older I found that I've simply stopped being interested in female-only scenes to the point I've started watching gay porno or even live cam feeds. And I've been enjoying it. Right now I have like 4 tumblr galleries with guys photos at my smartphone.

If this turns you on and you masturbate to it, then the chances that you are gay are pretty high. Not being turn on in the nude beach is probably somewhat normal since you are in a public setting, and the guy in the bath made you uncomfortable which is normal as well since he was being a creep.

 

[Deleted member 30609]

Hi GayGAF.

I've been lurking here for months pucking a courage to ask a question: how do one know that one is gay? I know this is probably a stupid question and probably many of you laugh at this right now, but... for someone who doesn't have anyone to talk to about this (no gay friends here; the only gay guy I know I lost contact with long time ago and I've learned about his sexuality after that), it's not that simple :/

I've been attracted to male body (well, body and facial hair >_>) since I remember. Even as a teenager I've paid more attention to male actors than female actresses in porn movies, photos or even various TV shows but back then I thought this was normal ("hey, I'm just checking him out to see what a man should do during sex", or "I'm just comparing dicks"). But as I grew older I found that I've simply stopped being interested in female-only scenes to the point I've started watching gay porno or even live cam feeds. And I've been enjoying it. Right now I have like 4 tumblr galleries with guys photos at my smartphone.

I still like to look at nice looking women, but I don't feel attracted to them sexually.

However, I haven't even thought about making out with a guy; never been fantasizing about this; never been in relationship either (gay or straight). It sounds crazy, but to try myself out last summer I even went to nude beach near the place I live (which basically is a gay beach nowadays - the men to women ratio is like 100:1 and there were men literally giving blowjobs to themselves in the open) and I felt nothing; went to steam bath the other day and a guy (quite good looking, although with a beer belly) sitting in front of me started jerking off and at first I felt excited, but then started to feel kind of uncomfortable (felt even more uncomfortable since the guy started following me when I was trying to change room >_>).

I have no idea whether I'm scared of admitting this to myself (although I feel that I accepted it, slowly but finally accepted), am I not gay or am I simply just not ready for a relationship or a casual sex with a guy (and I'm almost 26yo ffs :/). Whenever I think about this (and it's hard not to when you constantly hear "hey, do you have a girlfriend?" or see your colleagues marrying and having kids) I feel confused as hell about myself.

Sorry for this rant; I usually don't like bothering others with my own problems, especially as personal as sexual life, but I felt I just had to share this with someone because it simply drives me crazy.

For what it's worth, this is how most people realise they're gay in the twenty-first century.

Weird nude beaches and steam rooms are going to be -- well -- weird regardless of sexuality.

Can you picture yourself ever actually maintaining a long term relationship with a woman? For me, it came down to that. To say this as clinically as possible, even though I could recognize a hot woman, the thought of leading her on when I wasn't excited by her sexually felt immoral and cruel. There's a difference between thinking "I'd be able to do it" versus "I want to do it because it's what excites me", and that's the important thing. If your main mental hold out is "but I could probably have sex with women if I tried, therefore I'm not gay", then I would suggest that you're probably best off accepting your sexuality for what it is.

I don't know much about you, so this information might be useless to you, but I'd imagine most gay people can relate with the above, at least a little.

 

[Vazra]

Andrew Christian "car wash" ad proves without a doubt that God does exist.

O____O

I wanna go to the car wash now...

 

[Alcoori]

Hi GayGAF.

I've been lurking here for months pucking a courage to ask a question: how do one know that one is gay? I know this is probably a stupid question and probably many of you laugh at this right now, but... for someone who doesn't have anyone to talk to about this (no gay friends here; the only gay guy I know I lost contact with long time ago and I've learned about his sexuality after that), it's not that simple :/

I've been attracted to male body (well, body and facial hair >_>) since I remember. Even as a teenager I've paid more attention to male actors than female actresses in porn movies, photos or even various TV shows but back then I thought this was normal ("hey, I'm just checking him out to see what a man should do during sex", or "I'm just comparing dicks"). But as I grew older I found that I've simply stopped being interested in female-only scenes to the point I've started watching gay porno or even live cam feeds. And I've been enjoying it. Right now I have like 4 tumblr galleries with guys photos at my smartphone.

I still like to look at nice looking women, but I don't feel attracted to them sexually.

However, I haven't even thought about making out with a guy; never been fantasizing about this; never been in relationship either (gay or straight). It sounds crazy, but to try myself out last summer I even went to nude beach near the place I live (which basically is a gay beach nowadays - the men to women ratio is like 100:1 and there were men literally giving blowjobs to themselves in the open) and I felt nothing; went to steam bath the other day and a guy (quite good looking, although with a beer belly) sitting in front of me started jerking off and at first I felt excited, but then started to feel kind of uncomfortable (felt even more uncomfortable since the guy started following me when I was trying to change room >_>).

I have no idea whether I'm scared of admitting this to myself (although I feel that I accepted it, slowly but finally accepted), am I not gay or am I simply just not ready for a relationship or a casual sex with a guy (and I'm almost 26yo ffs :/). Whenever I think about this (and it's hard not to when you constantly hear "hey, do you have a girlfriend?" or see your colleagues marrying and having kids) I feel confused as hell about myself.

Sorry for this rant; I usually don't like bothering others with my own problems, especially as personal as sexual life, but I felt I just had to share this with someone because it simply drives me crazy.

What happened in my case was one of these moments when something finally fall into place and you think "oh, so that what it was". I've had the immense privilege of growing up in a very open-minded family where I've always heard that I would be loved no matter what and that the only thing that mattered to my parents was that we kids are happy.

So here is 15/16 yo me, suddenly realizing that fantasizing about some of my classmates and exclusively looking at dicks while watching porn did mean something. Everything fell into place and I realized that I had known for a long time even if I had never really think about what my sexual orientation was. I had done things with other kids when I was way younger, I had always been attracted to boys and the only time I had had a "girlfriend" was that because that's what cool kids did.

I said I was lucky because I didn't have a problem with accepting it (I know it's different for other people) and just took the fact that I was gay in stride and kept doing my thing. I'm very much gay but I don't think that hanging out on a nude beach or at the sauna would excite me at all so I don't think you can really base yourself on that.

Maybe you should try to see if there is any support group you could join? Or maybe try and look for a date on non-hookup websites such as Okcupid?

 

[fernoca]

If this turns you on and you masturbate to it, then the chances that you are gay are pretty high.

Hehehe.. XD
But yeah, agree..and with the rest you said specially.

***

In my case, I've known I'm gay since..well, since I can remember. Same reason I never experimented with girls, went out with them or had girlfriends to pretend or something.

But that doesn't mean, and didn't felt weird or uncomfortable in situations that others would've jumped at. For example, at around 12-15 years old, there was another guy in a bathroom that kept tooling at me and staring at me, and even when he walked by he walked really close to me; just to go back to the urinal and lower his pants and pretend he was peeing. He later groped me, etc. One might say that me been gay I should've liked that, but nope. It was unconformable, weird and out of place since it was this total stranger, in his mid-to early 30s grabbing/touching an up to 15 years old guy.

The beach and sauna situations were just that. You (Mr_Zombie) were in places that the situation made you feel unconformable even if you found some of it arousing at first. You were there also for other reasons, not to hook-up or make out with someone; so of course you found it weird.

Welcome to the team, Mr_Zombie!!!

 

[Mr_Zombie]

Thanks for the support guys. Even just talking about this, and not keeping everything to myself, really helps.

Can you picture yourself ever actually maintaining a long term relationship with a woman?

To be honest, I have no idea. Living among straight-only people gives one the idea that having a long term relationship with a woman is just something normal, something that just happens one day. Until some years ago when I finally started to question my sexuality I've never considered "if I want to be in relationship with a women" but rather "when will this happen" because that's what the society around me expect from a man :/.

However, as I said, I also haven't thought about a relationship with a guy. That's probably because, again, this isn't something that's considered "normal" and it's possible that I'm just blocking the idea of even simply meeting up with another gay guy.

If this turns you on and you masturbate to it, then the chances that you are gay are pretty high.

Well, it happens .

Maybe you should try to see if there is any support group you could join? Or maybe try and look for a date on non-hookup websites such as Okcupid?

I've been thinking about the supporting group. But it takes time and nowadays I don't have really much time to spare.
About the non-hookup website, I've downloaded a polish gay social app on my phone, but for some reason I'm still afraid of "coming out" (which is weird, because I just did this on a huge international gaming forum; but it's different than talking to someone you can later meet up in person) which usually ends up with me just quiting the app whenever someone starts the conversation; not to mention, a hydepark chat in the app is full of guys asking to meet up for communal masturbation... so yeah :/.

I've had the immense privilege of growing up in a very open-minded family where I've always heard that I would be loved no matter what and that the only thing that mattered to my parents was that we kids are happy.

I'm sure that my parents wouldn't have issues with this; but unless I'm sure I just don't want to touch the subject.

 

[TheSeks]

Hi GayGAF.

I've been lurking here for months pucking a courage to ask a question: how do one know that one is gay? I know this is probably a stupid question and probably many of you laugh at this right now, but... for someone who doesn't have anyone to talk to about this (no gay friends here; the only gay guy I know I lost contact with long time ago and I've learned about his sexuality after that), it's not that simple :/

I've been attracted to male body (well, body and facial hair >_>) since I remember. Even as a teenager I've paid more attention to male actors than female actresses in porn movies, photos or even various TV shows but back then I thought this was normal ("hey, I'm just checking him out to see what a man should do during sex", or "I'm just comparing dicks"). But as I grew older I found that I've simply stopped being interested in female-only scenes to the point I've started watching gay porno or even live cam feeds. And I've been enjoying it. Right now I have like 4 tumblr galleries with guys photos at my smartphone.

I still like to look at nice looking women, but I don't feel attracted to them sexually.

However, I haven't even thought about making out with a guy; never been fantasizing about this; never been in relationship either (gay or straight). It sounds crazy, but to try myself out last summer I even went to nude beach near the place I live (which basically is a gay beach nowadays - the men to women ratio is like 100:1 and there were men literally giving blowjobs to themselves in the open) and I felt nothing; went to steam bath the other day and a guy (quite good looking, although with a beer belly) sitting in front of me started jerking off and at first I felt excited, but then started to feel kind of uncomfortable (felt even more uncomfortable since the guy started following me when I was trying to change room >_>).

I have no idea whether I'm scared of admitting this to myself (although I feel that I accepted it, slowly but finally accepted), am I not gay or am I simply just not ready for a relationship or a casual sex with a guy (and I'm almost 26yo ffs :/). Whenever I think about this (and it's hard not to when you constantly hear "hey, do you have a girlfriend?" or see your colleagues marrying and having kids) I feel confused as hell about myself.

Sorry for this rant; I usually don't like bothering others with my own problems, especially as personal as sexual life, but I felt I just had to share this with someone because it simply drives me crazy.

Don't worry. I go through the whole "am I really gay?" phase damn near monthly. It happens.

 

[7threst]

I'm sure that my parents wouldn't have issues with this; but unless I'm sure I just don't want to touch the subject.

Very understandable (is this correct English? )

To me it was the same. I was (and still am) a member of a very open minded punk rock scene. Also my mother was very open minded, and my sister already came out as lesbian. You would think that it makes things easier but it's not, because coming out means you can never ever go back to that state of questioning your preferences and think about what it is you really are and crave for. People already see you as "that person who is gay" when you come out. For me, that really was a hurdle to take even when I knew it wouldn't be a problem to anyone close to me.

My (maybe poor) advice is: just take your time, nobody rushes you, right? Just do what makes you happy and makes you feel comfortable, although this is a cliche

 

[fernoca]

Don't worry. I go through the whole "am I that gay?" phase damn near monthly. It happens.

Fix'd.

Spoiler

 

[Replicant]

To be honest, I have no idea. Living among straight-only people gives one the idea that having a long term relationship with a woman is just something normal, something that just happens one day. Until some years ago when I finally started to question my sexuality I've never considered "if I want to be in relationship with a women" but rather "when will this happen" because that's what the society around me expect from a man :/.

I don't think you should confuse attraction with desire to live with another person. IMO that's two entirely different things. Just because you are attracted to someone, it doesn't automatically mean you'd want to live with him/her for the rest of your life, does it? A desire or no desire to live with a person does not indicate an attraction to a gender.

I realized that I like guys when I noticed that:

1. I tend to look at guys more than girls on day to day basis.
2. I'm turned on when I see naked guys in pictures while naked women do nothing to me.
3. Fapping to gay porn was probably the no-turning back moment for me. Of course, I had a few weeks of "I shouldn't do that again" moments but eventually I was too tired to pretend that I'm not attracted to the idea of two guys being together.

So I'd say it's pretty much similar case to your case.

However, I haven't even thought about making out with a guy; never been fantasizing about this; never been in relationship either (gay or straight). It sounds crazy, but to try myself out last summer I even went to nude beach near the place I live (which basically is a gay beach nowadays - the men to women ratio is like 100:1 and there were men literally giving blowjobs to themselves in the open) and I felt nothing; went to steam bath the other day and a guy (quite good looking, although with a beer belly) sitting in front of me started jerking off and at first I felt excited, but then started to feel kind of uncomfortable (felt even more uncomfortable since the guy started following me when I was trying to change room >_>).

I also recommend not to confuse desire to have sex with other guys with the attraction itself. A desire to have sex with other guys is always somewhat mixed with fear and hesitation because well, there are many elements that go into it. And public sex is the worst idea to consider when you just start out with this. It's like daring yourself to do an actual mountain climbing when the only climbing you've done so far is indoor climbing or worse, seeing climbing video. Also, just because for example, you may not keen on the idea of one particular sex type (ie. Anal sex), it doesn't mean your attraction is invalidated. Using the example I provided, many gay guys actually don't like anal sex. That doesn't stop them wanting to kiss another guy or just having frot or jerk off session with another.

 

[fernoca]

Also, just because for example, you may not keen on the idea of one particular sex type (ie. Anal sex), it doesn't mean your attraction is invalidated. Using the example I provided, many gay guys actually don't like anal sex. That doesn't stop them wanting to kiss another guy or just having frot or jerk off session with another.

That's so me!
I've said multiple times, but I don't care about top, bottom, anal, whatever..as long as I'm with a guy I can hold, talk, kiss, touch, etc. Yet, every time I said this, I get weird looks or people laugh..and if it's online, they just go offline.

 

[Dr. Malik]

Well, it happens .

Well there you go, welcome to the world of gays

but in all seriousness start going on dates, it will seem awkward and maybe uncomfortable because it seems you are still not used to the idea of dating another guy but once you get talking it will leave your mind, of course only if the other guy is a good date(if he is not or you dont click dont let that discourage you or confuse you more just move on to the next)

I still picture myself getting married with a women and all, lol

 

[Basch]

Hi GayGAF.

I've been lurking here for months pucking a courage to ask a question: how do one know that one is gay? I know this is probably a stupid question and probably many of you laugh at this right now, but... for someone who doesn't have anyone to talk to about this (no gay friends here; the only gay guy I know I lost contact with long time ago and I've learned about his sexuality after that), it's not that simple :/

I've been attracted to male body (well, body and facial hair >_>) since I remember. Even as a teenager I've paid more attention to male actors than female actresses in porn movies, photos or even various TV shows but back then I thought this was normal ("hey, I'm just checking him out to see what a man should do during sex", or "I'm just comparing dicks"). But as I grew older I found that I've simply stopped being interested in female-only scenes to the point I've started watching gay porno or even live cam feeds. And I've been enjoying it. Right now I have like 4 tumblr galleries with guys photos at my smartphone.

I still like to look at nice looking women, but I don't feel attracted to them sexually.

However, I haven't even thought about making out with a guy; never been fantasizing about this; never been in relationship either (gay or straight). It sounds crazy, but to try myself out last summer I even went to nude beach near the place I live (which basically is a gay beach nowadays - the men to women ratio is like 100:1 and there were men literally giving blowjobs to themselves in the open) and I felt nothing; went to steam bath the other day and a guy (quite good looking, although with a beer belly) sitting in front of me started jerking off and at first I felt excited, but then started to feel kind of uncomfortable (felt even more uncomfortable since the guy started following me when I was trying to change room >_>).

I have no idea whether I'm scared of admitting this to myself (although I feel that I accepted it, slowly but finally accepted), am I not gay or am I simply just not ready for a relationship or a casual sex with a guy (and I'm almost 26yo ffs :/). Whenever I think about this (and it's hard not to when you constantly hear "hey, do you have a girlfriend?" or see your colleagues marrying and having kids) I feel confused as hell about myself.

Sorry for this rant; I usually don't like bothering others with my own problems, especially as personal as sexual life, but I felt I just had to share this with someone because it simply drives me crazy.

Perfectly normal. I can appreciate the beauty of a female figure, but I've never been sexually attracted to any. You're probably gay but put off by casual sexual advances. I myself hate it when all a guy can talk/think about is sex. You probably would do just fine in a real relationship. I myself won't even consider getting into one until after college (and I'm 23). Of course, there's always a few I'd make an exception for. lol

Honestly, in your situation, I'd have felt more than uncomfortable.

I mean no offence at all to Zombie_leech, as he is definitely not alone in being unsure or ambiguous about his preferences. But for me there was never any doubt. Both physically and emotionally, it's so clear to me that I'm attracted to men, from as long as I can remember.

Physically, and this is the most obvious of the two, I get aroused and my dick gets hard from the male sex, while the female sex does nothing for me. Can't get much clearer than that.

Emotionally, I mean, being smitten by someone, or getting a crush on someone. In this case, occasionally I can find a woman very attractive or interesting, in the same way straight guys can develop a "guy crush" on their favorite celeb or whatever. But no girl could ever make me weak in the knees, faint in the heart, light in the head, ... like certain guys can. It's such a powerful emotional reaction, that -if someone were to have this-, it must be a clear sign of "who" they're attracted to.

Soooo, if we go by the idea that sexuality is a spectrum, I'd place in the "obviously pretty damn gay" category. I know this doesn't really help anyone on the subject, but I thought I'd share.

lol Totally reasonable. I realized I was attracted to men around 8 yrs old. I wasn't aware that my family's religion looks down on gay people until about 12 yrs old. Yeah... After that, it took me five years to open up about it. Still, to this day, there's a few women that enamor me, but nothing beyond that.