Both Zoe's answer and yours confirmed my suspicion. Thanks.
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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF
- Thread starter Mineshaft_Gap
- Start date
- Status
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
This is horrible advice. :/ She'll think that she did something to drive him away and that it's her fault. That's more crushing than him being honest about what he wants. Sounds like taking the easy/coward's way out. Dick-move, IMO (as a girl).
Devolution
Member
This is called playing games, don't play games.
Some girls are into shy/quiet guys cause they think it's cute, and even if they're not they usually think it's still cute. I don't think she meant "cute" in a negative way but I don't want to say that she might be into you either lol.
Bowling Pin
Member
My ex did what you said and it was extremely painful for me. I would have greatly appreciated "the talk" instead.
I wouldn't want a girl to do that to me so I wouldn't do it to them. Just seems cowardly imo.
Fair enough. I've used it in the past with very good results (ie fairly pain-free separation), but I guess I understand why that wouldn't always be the case. I'm sorry abut your pain, and I guess there should be a big warning behind this method: use with extreme caution.
Different girls could take it different ways. It could mean there's something wrong with you, or it could mean that you're not just jumping from relationship to relationship. I personally don't think it really matters.
hey_it's_that_dog
benevolent sexism
I don't see how this could be the best strategy for any serious relationship lasting more than a few months.
If you don't want to be with someone anymore, just have the talk, hope for a clean break, and let them get on with their lives. Letting it die off slowly in the way you describe is a waste of their time and a violation of their autonomy.
Not a woman, but here's my theory.
If they can attribute your single-ness to a painful breakup or you having gotten out of a marriage (i.e. you just weren't ready to date/have a relationship yet), then it shouldn't hurt you much, and it might even help, unless you tell them something that leads them to believe that you're the reason your past relationships have failed.
I think it would be worse to have been single for a long time with no relationships in the past. It's more likely that a woman would attribute your single-ness to something negative about you. If you seem like a nice, normal person, though, that shouldn't be much of a problem either, I'd hope.
Live Free or Die
Banned
Ah ok. I don't think she was into me either. Thanks for the reply.
Okay - so recently found myself in a great relationship. It's been awesome, around a month or so. Lets put that bit of information aside.
The last night I went out with two female friends, one I've known for around 10 years, the other I've know for a few months - there was a point a few months back that me and few-months-girl were kind of flirty, but I didn't think anything was coming out of it - and then she got serious with her then casual male... associate.
Anyhoo, a few days ago she messages me (when I was painting my room orange!) out of the blue, basically just telling me about some issues she's been having. We really aren't THAT close, so I was a bit surprised, but I was nice and talked her through it (she had some male co-workers act very... inappropriately, and she broke up with her boyfriend). Anyway, after all the talking, she invited me over for yesterday. I didn't think much of it, this girl didn't show interest in me before - why would she show any in my now when I am taken? Regardless, the event to turn into an outing instead, and we brought along my friend of 10 years (she's actually who I met this girl through).
I went over a bit early, so I was sitting around talking to her as we waited, and I bring up my girlfriend. She seemed a bit... upset. She said "Oh! I didn't realize you got serious with any of your lady friends! Are you guys, like, exclusive?" to which I replied yes, and she said "Aw, well... I was hoping you'd be my single friend tonight!" (all her other friends are taken). Anyhoo, this set off... mild alarm bells in my head, but at this point I started pre-drinking, so it kind of just went away.
Anyway, the night was fun - we went out, danced and eventually went back to her place to wind down - and I ended up crashing there (it was too fucking cold to wait for the blue night bus, I'm telling you that right now). Nothing happened of course, I was well behaved and there was nothing inappropriate that happened, and I kept the girlfriend in the loop 100%.
My question to girl-gaf... I'm super duper duper bad at knowing if a girl has feelings for me. I worry that either I will overthink every little thing she does, or dismiss every sign because I will just assume I am overthinking it. Is there anything I can look out for, short of just asking her, that will tell me if she does or doesn't? On top of that, would it be a problem still being friendly with her if she was? I really am new to a situation like this, and kind of hope it's all in my head.
The last night I went out with two female friends, one I've known for around 10 years, the other I've know for a few months - there was a point a few months back that me and few-months-girl were kind of flirty, but I didn't think anything was coming out of it - and then she got serious with her then casual male... associate.
Anyhoo, a few days ago she messages me (when I was painting my room orange!) out of the blue, basically just telling me about some issues she's been having. We really aren't THAT close, so I was a bit surprised, but I was nice and talked her through it (she had some male co-workers act very... inappropriately, and she broke up with her boyfriend). Anyway, after all the talking, she invited me over for yesterday. I didn't think much of it, this girl didn't show interest in me before - why would she show any in my now when I am taken? Regardless, the event to turn into an outing instead, and we brought along my friend of 10 years (she's actually who I met this girl through).
I went over a bit early, so I was sitting around talking to her as we waited, and I bring up my girlfriend. She seemed a bit... upset. She said "Oh! I didn't realize you got serious with any of your lady friends! Are you guys, like, exclusive?" to which I replied yes, and she said "Aw, well... I was hoping you'd be my single friend tonight!" (all her other friends are taken). Anyhoo, this set off... mild alarm bells in my head, but at this point I started pre-drinking, so it kind of just went away.
Anyway, the night was fun - we went out, danced and eventually went back to her place to wind down - and I ended up crashing there (it was too fucking cold to wait for the blue night bus, I'm telling you that right now). Nothing happened of course, I was well behaved and there was nothing inappropriate that happened, and I kept the girlfriend in the loop 100%.
My question to girl-gaf... I'm super duper duper bad at knowing if a girl has feelings for me. I worry that either I will overthink every little thing she does, or dismiss every sign because I will just assume I am overthinking it. Is there anything I can look out for, short of just asking her, that will tell me if she does or doesn't? On top of that, would it be a problem still being friendly with her if she was? I really am new to a situation like this, and kind of hope it's all in my head.
Devolution
Member
Clean breaks should always be the preferred method especially since he's been with her for a year. Deal with the pain upfront not the dragging on of "why isn't he talking to me."
friskykillface
Banned
this, i hate when women play games in relationships :/
SolidusDave
Member
So I was more or less seduced (=kissing) last month at a work party by this cute girl (we don't actually work together and are different fields/buildings etc.).
Only talked to her maybe three times before, but long story short we are now what you would call friends with benefits (well "friends" because we don't know each other so much yet).
I think in the beginning she "picked" me (her words) because I gave a sexual active impression as I "flirt a lot" with many of the girls at work. The flirting part is actually true and I can't really help it, but I don't think much about it (nor am I active or even date a lot as I don't mind AT ALL being single). As a note: She didn't really plan this though, she even had sex with her ex-bf(still good friend) the day after the party (when we were already texting/planing a date).
However, she doesn't do just booty-calling or whatever, but we try to have dates as well (at the very least like friends watching movies etc.) and we both agreed to see how it will go. Just to clarify, she's far from being a slut or anything, from what I could understand, she wanted to get more experience/having more fun in life and is now "loyal" if I'm also loyal.
The problem begins now that I can't help it being nice and like to do stuff like cuddling with girls I'm intimate with all night, talk/chat/listen a lot etc.
So I'm kinda worried that her feelings will kick in soon and while so far she actually seems like gf material, for me it takes much, much longer to feel anything (bascially, I'm used to knowing them as long friends, which made my love life hard in the past due to friendzone and all that).
So basically before that I'm mainly sexually interested in a woman, yet won't go around seeking out one night stands in bars and treat even "fuck buddies" a bit like GFs while I'm with them.
I had a similar situation before, but I didn't really like that girl so I just ended everything instantly the cold and mean way. Don't want to do that here (if it's even necessary).
Now it gets more complicated because from the girls I "like" at work, for some reason one girl (which I also hardly see) "feels right" and I would like to see what could come out of that. She also gave me some signals and I doubt she knows of the other girl, but I don't want to act at all while having this other thing going on (which again might also lead to something, but might be too fast to me and she's likely gone next year anyway).
Both share some (non-close) friends/work colleagues.
So I have a feeling like there is a bomb that I need to defuse and if I handle this wrong, I will be basically flagged as an asshole by all girls at this work place.
Not sure what do to, but I can also guess that it's hard to give any advice w/o knowing the people involved.
What I'm thinking about:
- behaving less like bf-material if I notice I don't want to go into a relationship direction / she getting more emotional (though that could also be bad for me if the other girls talk about it)
- asking the friend with benefits now if it's ok if we stop it for some time so I can date the other girl. Would it then be even more asshole-ish if I continue with the first girl if it doesn't work out with the second?
Thoughts?
And yes, I know my main problem is seeking out girls to which I'm (loosely) connected with via other people/work place etc. , but I just can't do this whole going to clubs or whatever thing. I need to know the girl at least a bit before, then I date. One reason is me often not even really wanting a relationship, so ideally I need some persuasion aka feelings for someone. Another factor is that due to all of us doing our PhDs here, pretty much all of the girls are smart and great to talk to.
Though over the years I also had progress as I e.g. stopped being close friends with girls I find attractive
tl;dr:
I'm an immoral man who's main concern is not to cockblock himself.
Only talked to her maybe three times before, but long story short we are now what you would call friends with benefits (well "friends" because we don't know each other so much yet).
I think in the beginning she "picked" me (her words) because I gave a sexual active impression as I "flirt a lot" with many of the girls at work. The flirting part is actually true and I can't really help it, but I don't think much about it (nor am I active or even date a lot as I don't mind AT ALL being single). As a note: She didn't really plan this though, she even had sex with her ex-bf(still good friend) the day after the party (when we were already texting/planing a date).
However, she doesn't do just booty-calling or whatever, but we try to have dates as well (at the very least like friends watching movies etc.) and we both agreed to see how it will go. Just to clarify, she's far from being a slut or anything, from what I could understand, she wanted to get more experience/having more fun in life and is now "loyal" if I'm also loyal.
The problem begins now that I can't help it being nice and like to do stuff like cuddling with girls I'm intimate with all night, talk/chat/listen a lot etc.
So I'm kinda worried that her feelings will kick in soon and while so far she actually seems like gf material, for me it takes much, much longer to feel anything (bascially, I'm used to knowing them as long friends, which made my love life hard in the past due to friendzone and all that).
So basically before that I'm mainly sexually interested in a woman, yet won't go around seeking out one night stands in bars and treat even "fuck buddies" a bit like GFs while I'm with them.
I had a similar situation before, but I didn't really like that girl so I just ended everything instantly the cold and mean way. Don't want to do that here (if it's even necessary).
Now it gets more complicated because from the girls I "like" at work, for some reason one girl (which I also hardly see) "feels right" and I would like to see what could come out of that. She also gave me some signals and I doubt she knows of the other girl, but I don't want to act at all while having this other thing going on (which again might also lead to something, but might be too fast to me and she's likely gone next year anyway).
Both share some (non-close) friends/work colleagues.
So I have a feeling like there is a bomb that I need to defuse and if I handle this wrong, I will be basically flagged as an asshole by all girls at this work place.
Not sure what do to, but I can also guess that it's hard to give any advice w/o knowing the people involved.
What I'm thinking about:
- behaving less like bf-material if I notice I don't want to go into a relationship direction / she getting more emotional (though that could also be bad for me if the other girls talk about it)
- asking the friend with benefits now if it's ok if we stop it for some time so I can date the other girl. Would it then be even more asshole-ish if I continue with the first girl if it doesn't work out with the second?
Thoughts?
And yes, I know my main problem is seeking out girls to which I'm (loosely) connected with via other people/work place etc. , but I just can't do this whole going to clubs or whatever thing. I need to know the girl at least a bit before, then I date. One reason is me often not even really wanting a relationship, so ideally I need some persuasion aka feelings for someone. Another factor is that due to all of us doing our PhDs here, pretty much all of the girls are smart and great to talk to.
Though over the years I also had progress as I e.g. stopped being close friends with girls I find attractive
tl;dr:
I'm an immoral man who's main concern is not to cockblock himself.
BladeWorker
Member
The bolded parts would be your signs. Alone, each could be innocuous. Combined, she has a crush on you. She may not have it bad, as it were, but it's a crush nonetheless.
Your current GF may not be the jealous type but if your interactions with "few months girl" continue along this vein it could create problems - and might give "few months girl" the impression that you're stringing her along. That's just drama you don't need.
I would suggest you back off for awhile, until there are sufficient indicators to suggest she's over her crush.
Sidebar: good on you for keeping your GF informed.
Rocket Scientist
Member
I know it's been discussed in a few posts now, but damn this would make me feel terrible if someone did this to me. There's obviously no easy way to break up, but the worst is when one person doesn't even know why or what is happening.
Professor Beef
Banned
I've had something very similar happen to me. It's one of the worst feelings in the world, and I wouldn't dream of doing it to anyone.
shanshan310
Member
For someone you've only been on a few dates with, maybe. For someone you've been dating for a year and have considered marriage with? Not only is it disgustingly rude, it probably won't even work. You are going to have to have the talk at some point. I don't think she's going to say "oh he's been busy recently, i guess he's just not interested. I'll just take the hint and stop trying ". You can't ignore a problem to make it go away.
I have yet to be in a relationship where I didn't feel like I was being played one way or another.
Sometimes the people your with can seem so fake and coy. :\Really hate it that all my past best friends who were female, who I really can't imagine going those routes, have saved friends. *sigh*
Solideliquid
Member
LadyGAF,
My wife and I (just married two months ago) have been getting into some strange fights recently. Let me give you an example, I asked her not to have people over at the house after a certain time at night. A few weeks ago this happened and after the person left I explained that I was upset that she didn't listen to me. Granted this person only came to borrow a toaster but it was late, they only stayed for 10 minutes.
Now what resulted after I spoke my mind is we didn't talk the rest of the night, she admitted being mad at me and couldn't let it go. I mean I tried to come downstairs a few times and asked her to come to bed, she wouldn't talk to me. Then in the morning she's still upset. I can't wait until I do something major she'll murder me or something.
LadyGAF, how do I break the sequence and end these fights so we can not go to bed angry and I can get a good night sleep?
My wife and I (just married two months ago) have been getting into some strange fights recently. Let me give you an example, I asked her not to have people over at the house after a certain time at night. A few weeks ago this happened and after the person left I explained that I was upset that she didn't listen to me. Granted this person only came to borrow a toaster but it was late, they only stayed for 10 minutes.
Now what resulted after I spoke my mind is we didn't talk the rest of the night, she admitted being mad at me and couldn't let it go. I mean I tried to come downstairs a few times and asked her to come to bed, she wouldn't talk to me. Then in the morning she's still upset. I can't wait until I do something major she'll murder me or something.
LadyGAF, how do I break the sequence and end these fights so we can not go to bed angry and I can get a good night sleep?
Devolution
Member
I hope you're exaggerating to keep it lighthearted otherwise you shouldn't live in fear of your S.O., just what is going on there. What's your reason for no people beyond a certain hour? Does she understand this reason? Or is it something you just decided you want without compromise or input?
I'm not a lady (as you will probably tell from my avatar), but let me give it a try.
First of all, being annoyed because someone came to borrow a toaster is a bit too much, try to be a bit more flexible. If it was her friend, she surely enjoyed the small talk with her friend. Sure, having an all night party or something would be something to be a bit annoyed about if you previously told her not to do so (if there's some reason like you having to work the next morning, or something similar), but in this case I think it was a bit too much.
Second, if you wanna change her mood there are many ways and I guess it all depends on the kind of person she is. For my girlfriend, I'd casually tell her to dress up and get ready for lunch/dinner, and invite her somewhere. But you might want to bring home something for her (not saying something expensive, just a small detail) if you think you had part of the fault in the discussion. If not, just try to talk it with her if you're completely sure you were right.
As for how to break the sequence and end the fights so you can go to bed nicely, just don't fight at night!
We don't know her, but she's most likely not going to murder you. She might just ignore you completely, which is about as bad (they know how to fuck with you psychologically).So I was more or less seduced (=kissing) last month at a work party by this cute girl (we don't actually work together and are different fields/buildings etc.).
Only talked to her maybe three times before, but long story short we are now what you would call friends with benefits (well "friends" because we don't know each other so much yet).
I think in the beginning she "picked" me (her words) because I gave a sexual active impression as I "flirt a lot" with many of the girls at work. The flirting part is actually true and I can't really help it, but I don't think much about it (nor am I active or even date a lot as I don't mind AT ALL being single). As a note: She didn't really plan this though, she even had sex with her ex-bf(still good friend) the day after the party (when we were already texting/planing a date).
However, she doesn't do just booty-calling or whatever, but we try to have dates as well (at the very least like friends watching movies etc.) and we both agreed to see how it will go. Just to clarify, she's far from being a slut or anything, from what I could understand, she wanted to get more experience/having more fun in life and is now "loyal" if I'm also loyal.
The problem begins now that I can't help it being nice and like to do stuff like cuddling with girls I'm intimate with all night, talk/chat/listen a lot etc.
So I'm kinda worried that her feelings will kick in soon and while so far she actually seems like gf material, for me it takes much, much longer to feel anything (bascially, I'm used to knowing them as long friends, which made my love life hard in the past due to friendzone and all that).
So basically before that I'm mainly sexually interested in a woman, yet won't go around seeking out one night stands in bars and treat even "fuck buddies" a bit like GFs while I'm with them.
I had a similar situation before, but I didn't really like that girl so I just ended everything instantly the cold and mean way. Don't want to do that here (if it's even necessary).
Now it gets more complicated because from the girls I "like" at work, for some reason one girl (which I also hardly see) "feels right" and I would like to see what could come out of that. She also gave me some signals and I doubt she knows of the other girl, but I don't want to act at all while having this other thing going on (which again might also lead to something, but might be too fast to me and she's likely gone next year anyway).
Both share some (non-close) friends/work colleagues.
So I have a feeling like there is a bomb that I need to defuse and if I handle this wrong, I will be basically flagged as an asshole by all girls at this work place.
Not sure what do to, but I can also guess that it's hard to give any advice w/o knowing the people involved.
What I'm thinking about:
- behaving less like bf-material if I notice I don't want to go into a relationship direction / she getting more emotional (though that could also be bad for me if the other girls talk about it)
- asking the friend with benefits now if it's ok if we stop it for some time so I can date the other girl. Would it then be even more asshole-ish if I continue with the first girl if it doesn't work out with the second?
Thoughts?
And yes, I know my main problem is seeking out girls to which I'm (loosely) connected with via other people/work place etc. , but I just can't do this whole going to clubs or whatever thing. I need to know the girl at least a bit before, then I date. One reason is me often not even really wanting a relationship, so ideally I need some persuasion aka feelings for someone. Another factor is that due to all of us doing our PhDs here, pretty much all of the girls are smart and great to talk to.
Though over the years I also had progress as I e.g. stopped being close friends with girls I find attractive
tl;dr:
I'm an immoral man who's main concern is not to cockblock himself.
Hmm... I'm not sure what response this will get, if any. This will be interesting fake smokydave.
BladeWorker
Member
If you're in a friends with benefits relationship with someone you need to lay the ground rules:
- Are you exclusive
- Restrictions on flirtations
- Frequency and type of interactions
etc.
Without those rules, you're really just ...well... directionless. And, if you don't inform any additional partners (or prospective partners) about the existence of all the others, then you're playing with fire.
As for your own characterization of yourself - "immoral", esp - if that's how you self-describe, imagine how others look at you. Is that really what you want?
I suspect that if your current f**kbuddy is seeking "dates" as well as intimate encounters, then there is at least some level of feeling involved on her part, if for no other reason than she doesn't want to feel like someone's (anyone's) booty call. If you don't want to commit to anything - with her or anyone else - you best discuss this with her, and all prospects, ASAP. If you can't talk about whatever relationship you have, then you shouldn't be in it.
Final note: My understanding is that most postgrad programs are small worlds, and it's not surprising that people within the program would hook up. But I'd advise against being known as the guy who will hump anything that moves. While some girls will find that attractive (who knows why), many will not.
I don't know the context for your "no visitors after xPM" rule, and without it, it's hard to say whether you're coming across as arbitrary and inflexible or understandably setting boundaries. Does it apply equally to drunken single friends crashing at your place and waking you both up in the wee hours, as well as a sober neighbour knocking on the door asking to borrow something and staying only for 10 minutes? If so, I urge you to see the difference between the two situations, and choose your battles.
Whatever the case, your rule-setting and her shutting down (by not speaking) is coming across like a father-daughter dynamic, not a partnership dynamic.
Start by acknowledging any part that you may have had in the issue in a non-judgemental way: "this is how I felt so I asked that we do x; I understand that this may have come across as y or z and that it upsets you."
Then, as neutrally as you can muster, try to suss out the hows and whys of her upset - maybe she just wants to feel more self-reliant (can set her own rules), confidence from you in her judgement (that she knows the difference between crazy interruptions and reasonable ones), or independence (that she can do what she wants to do without having to ask you for permission).
On both sides, try to "fight fair" as it were - avoid the "you're such a **** for doing this!", and go more with "when this happens, I feel like ****." From the sounds of it, you're already trying to do this. Keep with this attitude.
Listen both to what she is, and what she isn't saying. Sometimes people who aren't used to communicating openly leave things out because they don't know how to get the sentiment across. Don't try to fill in the blanks, instead try probing with questions (both to demonstrate you're listening and to help you understand her perspective). Work with her to develop a compromise, and do your best to stick with it.
It's important that you both have an opportunity to be heard - and the more you can talk about things in a non-judgemental fashion, the easier it will be.
As for not going to bed angry, as others have noted: don't fight at night. Nobody's effective at speaking or listening in an argument when it's past their bedtime. Take a deep breath, or go for a run, remember why you love her, then go to bed. If it still peeves you in the morning, talk about it then.
If the negative dynamic continues, seek the assistance of someone who's more qualified than GAF to help you out - even if it's just to give you some strategies for talking to each other.
I am a Uni student. Me and a friend were in the library for revision and we decided to sit near this girl. He and I were in a pretty good mood and ere making a bit of noise unintentionally. At first she was smiling at me but then she eventually left. It turns out that I bump into her again that very night in the corridor. It was at this point I realised how loud we were. I felt really bad but didn't find the opportunity to apologise that night.
Fast forward 3 days later and we see each other again at the library. We only exchanged glances this time. Later that night, I go to the corridor to take a call. I come back eventually to find that my kindle had been taken with a note left saying "This is for being too loud from the girl sitting x rows from you, dickhead = ) Lol". At this point I'm like wtf and I end up scouring the library for her. Only to come back and find my kindle returned.
So what I want to know is 1) what did she want to achieve.
2) what's the best way to take this forward.
Fast forward 3 days later and we see each other again at the library. We only exchanged glances this time. Later that night, I go to the corridor to take a call. I come back eventually to find that my kindle had been taken with a note left saying "This is for being too loud from the girl sitting x rows from you, dickhead = ) Lol". At this point I'm like wtf and I end up scouring the library for her. Only to come back and find my kindle returned.
So what I want to know is 1) what did she want to achieve.
2) what's the best way to take this forward.
Solideliquid
Member
She gets off work at midnight and sometimes her friend from work wants to come over and hang out. I don't like having people over so late, especially because the next few days she is off. This friend likes to come over at night but she can come over in the mornings as well I know she doesn't work until the afternoon.
That was the basis of my not wanting people over late because I need to get up in the morning.
That was the basis of my not wanting people over late because I need to get up in the morning.
SolidusDave
Member
The immoral characterization was just a little joke for the tl;dr as that's how some people could see such relationships. I don't think I'm that bad
The bolded part could explain things, that she just wants to feel respected etc.
We talked quite a bit about commitment and some rules are in place (though she's kinda amused by my try to rationalize things), but she also said we should see how it goes. Though she also said we should be careful not to get (emotionally) distracted from work, that comment made me relax a bit.
As I said, I'm not sure myself atm as in principle her character is great but I also don't think there is a way this would last longer than a 3/4 year as I'm not into relationships across countries.
The problem remains with the other girl and I will try to mention a break/if we can try to date other people (but not in the sense of having 2 partners at the same time of course).
Regarding your final note: Well it is apparently known that I flirt a lot with pretty girls, but I think many also know that it's more meant to entertain than actual interest (which still might be there but actually I'm quite shy around girls I'm really interested in as I try to choose my words carefully etc.). With girls I don't know well it's also more a "being extra nice" than some sexual innuendo jokes or coming on to them etc. Especially if they have a bf.
On a side note: It's true though that often girls find guys more attractive if other girls think the same. Though I must say that's the same for guys sometimes, if your buddy says a girl is really not good looking while you had the opposite impression, you question your opinion a bit.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
I was talking to a friend last night and she said I wouldn't understand the chase concept in a "fun" light bc I'm not a girl. What does this mean? We were talking about a guy she doesn't want to go out with but enjoys talking to and how we're not sure if he's just trying to be nice or hitting on her and she told me she likes the chase. Is this normal?
BladeWorker
Member
She likes the attention. As for her comment, it's a silly thing to say. Last I checked, just as many guys liked the attention, too.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Isn't that kind of mean to just soak up the attention if you think they're doing it in a flirty way and you have no interest though?
BladeWorker
Member
No argument here.
1) she probably wanted to piss you off like you pissed her off
2) I probably wouldn't, "dickhead" can almost never be taken as a compliment or in a joking manner like "loser" could. e.g "hey loser
" sounds playful versus "hey dickhead " still sounds like an insult imoHey LadyGAF I've got no questions, that I can think of right now anyways, just wanted t drop by and say hi since I think it's been a while since I posted here. Oh wait I remembered my question it's not really specific to this thread but I know that a few posters here were active in the Real Pic thread so I'm wondering what's up with it. It didn't reach 20k posts so did something happen?
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
That's my question! I came back to a locked thread. I skimmed the last page and it didn't seem as if there was anything risque or lock-worthy...
That's my question! I came back to a locked thread. I skimmed the last page and it didn't seem as if there was anything risque or lock-worthy...
Damn :[ I'm thinking maybe creeperGAF sent one too many PMs and somebody gave a mod a heads up about it. If the mods are getting too many PMs about it then I think that may have been what happened :/.
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
I know Ducky got one back in the beginning (and .la1n too, I think), but I've never gotten anything remotely creepy, and it was such a positive thread. I mean, if the "Post Pictures of Yourself" thread is still open then RP should be OK. It's a voluntary thing, like that one. Anyway, I hope we get to open a new one. I really liked the vibe of that thread. :/
SteveWinwood
Member
If I had to guess it was because it turned to a collection of nothing. It was all about people ordering pizza at one point. It was like a more nebulous drunk thread (which sounds impossible, but somehow it happened).
H.Protagonist
[-_-]/
But where's the harm in that? We had new people switching to their real pics almost every day and joining in (so it was somewhat 'on topic'). It certainly seemed to encourage new people to converse with one another, and it engendered good discussion based on just the common idea of using your real picture which seemed like a really positive thing. I mean, there's the Post Pics of Yourself thread, which is, admittedly, actually more on topic, but it doesn't encourage conversation. People just throw up a pic of themselves, get a few comments and that's it. Nobody really seems to talk to one another.
It seems that an OT2 was made but even the OP is not sure if anything happened to close the other early.
So what you're saying is that it was an awesome thread and we need to have more like it?
Professor Beef
Banned
The thread was nice while it lasted.
1) she probably wanted to piss you off like you pissed her off
2) I probably wouldn't, "dickhead" can almost never be taken as a compliment or in a joking manner like "loser" could. e.g "hey loser
Lol, it was dickhead with a gigantic smiley face under it followed by lol
Thanks for the advice - yeah... I don't know what happened with me and few-months-girl, but she started talking to me more, texting me more and the like. So far I've kept it pretty chill, she seems like a nice girl and she hasn't been inappropriate, and I hate ASSUMING a girl is into me without hearing it explicitly - but better safe than sorry.
What's wrong with you! Even I can tell this girl is into him.1) she probably wanted to piss you off like you pissed her off
2) I probably wouldn't, "dickhead" can almost never be taken as a compliment or in a joking manner like "loser" could. e.g "hey loser
From what I've gathered, a lot of girls (actually guys too, but whatever) are bad at 'making the first move' - this might have been her attempt. If you see her again, be playful "Before you steal the shirt off my back, sorry for being so loud the other day!" - but... you know, funny.
Lmao, thats what I was thinking. I'll definitely keep you guys updated.
Doncamatic
Member
1) she probably wanted to piss you off like you pissed her off
2) I probably wouldn't, "dickhead" can almost never be taken as a compliment or in a joking manner like "loser" could. e.g "hey loser
I don't know, as an Australian who has spent some time in the UK it would come off as playful in both cultures. Depends where he's from I guess.
Glistening Pomegranate
Neo Member
Yep. I've used 'dickhead' plenty of times as a term of endearment. Nothing malicious in it at all from my perspective. Obviously depends on the mood and context, but if she used the smiley face following it like you say, I think she also probably meant it in a playful way. I'd take Kinitari's advice on this one.
shanshan310
Member
It doesn't come off as Flirty or interested at all to me, so if you intend to take this further be prepared for a humiliating shut down as a possible option.
Re: the Smiley face, you've never seen the bitchy "fuck off" smile of death? Or possibly "kthxbye
"?Fucking go for it!!! She is definitely interested.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, If you saw a man riding around on one of those hobby horse toys, and he was wearing nail polish, but he was also sexy as hell, would you still consider him? I've really been thinking hard about these lately:
Shazam! Nobody else is rocking a fucking hobby horse around town! I'll be up in the club OWNING that shit!
Shazam! Nobody else is rocking a fucking hobby horse around town! I'll be up in the club OWNING that shit!
- Status