• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

LadyGAF Advises ManGAF

Status
Not open for further replies.
cuevas said:
Anywhere with music? Bar, clubs, house parties...
Click to expand...

Right, that's why I made the stipulation I did -- I'm neither a "clubber" nor a "house partier." I find them boring. But if they interest you, that's fine. It's just so far outside my general sphere of socialization that these factors have never been a relevant romantic factor for me.
 
Opiate said:
Most definitely not. Unless you are specifically looking to date an 18 year old, that is.
Click to expand...

I've been interested in 18 year olds before, but I thought they were my age until I asked them. That's where my concern stems from. It's probably safer if I stick to older people.
 
Opiate said:
Right, that's why I made the stipulation I did -- I'm neither a "clubber" nor a "house partier." I find them boring. But if they interest you, that's fine. It's just so far outside my general sphere of socialization that these factors have never been a relevant romantic factor for me.
Click to expand...

To be honest same here. Never been in the dancing scene, I've always been more the "let's shoot pool at the bar or go bowling" type.
 
Otrebor Nightmarecoat said:
How do girls sense a guy is pathetic, desperate and a virgin when he has not even said a word? Seems like girls have a sixth sense for that.
Click to expand...

I'm not supposed to tell you this or the Order of the Tampons would have my ass but we are issued these upon turning 16:

STmnn.png
 
Peace Tea said:
-I shop at that retail store all the time, so I'm going to bump into this girl eventually. Maybe LadyGAF can provide me with an alternative option (?), since my current and only one is (and was, before these txts) to: Tell her in advance that I'll be going in to talk to her, walk in and have a ten minute conversation, then ask her out for her lunch break, get rejected (I now include rejected because of lines 4 & 5).

-I definitely feel like its very awkward to just wave and say hi, given that now she knows all of this, and will remember my face when she sees me.
Click to expand...

I am not Lady-GAF but I felt like I should respond. Don't do the above part about telling her in advance and asking her out. It's not good for you and it will almost certainly weird her out. If you run into her you run into her, it's not even important. She is the last thing on your mind because you've got so many other things going on. If you do cross paths, just say "oh hey, I used to work with you" etc etc. She might or might not remember having been asked about you. Just don't make a thing of it and don't apologize for it or make it awkward.
 
Opiate said:
This constant reference to dancing implies a much different social life than I have experienced. Not that I never dance -- I do, and I enjoy it -- but I'm not sure where you guys are going where dancing is a regular part of a social life.
Click to expand...

Nor is it mine. I was using the goofy "I can't dance" dance moves simply as a reference for the type of goofiness that I think is best to stay away from. I could have said, "Never start a sentence with, 'It's like that episode of Family Guy where...'" and made the same point. It wasn't my intent to imply that I was giving advice for a real life situation.


edit- that's made me curious though as to what your social life does consist of since you consider clubs and house parties boring. Not that I disagree, I just never felt like the word "boring" reflected my feelings on them. I typically find that they're anxiety inducing.
 
Opiate said:
Most definitely not. Unless you are specifically looking to date an 18 year old, that is.

This constant reference to dancing implies a much different social life than I have experienced. Not that I never dance -- I do, and I enjoy it -- but I'm not sure where you guys are going where dancing is a regular part of a social life.

Then again, the last three girlfriends I've had are a biologist (current), lawyer, and biochemical engineer. We weren't exactly part of the "clubbing" scene. I'd say I have occasion to dance perhaps 1-2 times per year.
Click to expand...

Well I'm not into going to clubs that much since if I go I just want to dance not to pick up women and I don't drink so it takes most of the fun out of it for me. Anytime I suggest going bowling here people just look at me like I'm some kind of disfigured socially inept dumbass. What's wrong with bowling? It's fun.
 
OrangeGrayBlue said:
edit- that's made me curious though as to what your social life does consist of since you consider clubs and house parties boring. Not that I disagree, I just never felt like the word "boring" reflected my feelings on them. I typically find that they're anxiety inducing.
Click to expand...

This may be a disparity related to age, as I'm in my late twenties. I have a full time job while also taking 10 credit hours at school, running a charity and moderating GAF. I exercise for an hour a day, and I am an avid reader.

This leaves fairly limited time for regular "socialization." When I do so, I tend to love good food -- both because it's good in itself, and also because it facilitates communication and discourse. In general, I find I prefer small settings with direct discussion rather than large settings. In large group settings, the conversations can almost never be particular, because any specific subject is likely to bore others to tears -- particularly if your interests are like mine. Group/party settings tend to degenerate in to discussions on sports, or social phenomena of the most banal nature because you can't leave people out. When discussing topics with a single person or very small group, those issues are non existent and topics can become more in depth and specific, which I appreciate.
 
Otrebor Nightmarecoat said:
How do girls sense a guy is pathetic, desperate and a virgin when he has not even said a word? Seems like girls have a sixth sense for that.
Click to expand...

That vibe pops up for me with a guy when its from trying to hard to make me laugh, not initiating conversation at all (we can tell when you're being quite out of nervousness), or seeming like he's fawning over me. "Awkward virgins" tend to focus too much on how a girl is responding to them in a way that comes off as a bit desperate for attention.
 
Does any lady here know a transexual? I mean a boy-to-girl transexual. If so do you see her as a women or do you feel that there is something wrong about her?
 
chiQ said:
It depends on the man's condition when feral. Some men need a lot of work, others not so much.
Click to expand...

I prefer there be something there vs completely shaved, but I'm not going to put up a fight over it if the guy prefers to keep it "clean" down there.

I'll probably speak up if it looks like a bramble bush or something though....
 
subversus said:
Does any lady here know a transexual? I mean a boy-to-girl transexual. If so do you see her as a women or do you feel that there is something wrong about her?
Click to expand...

Yes I do. I see her as a woman, and am entirely comfortable with it, though it took a few weeks to get my head around the pronouns thing. I still refer to her as 'him' when talking about past situations, pre-coming out, which I probably shouldn't, but it's a context thing and hard to break.
 
chiQ said:
Yes I do. I see her as a woman, and am entirely comfortable with it, though it took a few weeks to get my head around the pronouns thing. I still refer to her as 'him' when talking about past situations, pre-coming out, which I probably shouldn't, but it's a context thing and hard to break.
Click to expand...

So you knew her before coming out. When did it hit you that this person had changed and became a woman?
 
subversus said:
So you knew her before coming out. When did it hit you that this person had changed and became a woman?
Click to expand...

I knew her for eleven years as 'him'. I came to grips with the reality of it sometime during the day or so after she told me. It took a while to sink in, and I was a bit spaced out for a day or so (glad she told me on a Friday night), then something clicked and normal services were restored. It's a lot to take on board at first, but is so unimportant when you look at the character and awesomeness of the person standing behind the gender stereotypes.

Note that this happened in December, so it wasn't that long ago.
 
subversus said:
Does any lady here know a transexual? I mean a boy-to-girl transexual. If so do you see her as a women or do you feel that there is something wrong about her?
Click to expand...

I know a girl-to-boy transsexual, though I know that isn't your direct question. I knew this person long ago, when he was a she, and over time we drifted considerably and upon reconnecting the transition had come to light. I never thought about it in terms of right and wrong - though I had trouble keeping pronouns straight, probably because I was more familiar with this person as a "she" rather than a "he". Whatever makes him happy - it didn't really change my opinion.
 
FStop7 said:
I am not Lady-GAF but I felt like I should respond. Don't do the above part about telling her in advance and asking her out. It's not good for you and it will almost certainly weird her out. If you run into her you run into her, it's not even important. She is the last thing on your mind because you've got so many other things going on. If you do cross paths, just say "oh hey, I used to work with you" etc etc. She might or might not remember having been asked about you. Just don't make a thing of it and don't apologize for it or make it awkward.
Click to expand...

Well it's happened to me, and all it did was make me nervous. That's where the idea originates from. However, back then lines 4&5 didn't occur, so I guess it could weird her out a little, but in general I still doubt it. Definitely plan on having that 'I got so many things going on' mindset though. It helps with maintaining confidence.

Part of me thinks I may have already fucked this all up, by asking about her so far in advance though.
 
So I talked to this girl I really like the previous week, she was sitting one row in front of me. I used bye combined with her name, and she seemed to have forgotten my name, but forced a smile. Right after the class, I saw her in the hallway, she gave me a death glare, and held the door open for me, I said 'hey thanks', but she pretended to not hear it and kept going.

Next class, she sit two rows behind where I usually sit, I came in a little late and was expecting her to be where she was last time: in front of me.
Later, when we were packing it up after the professor finished the course, she gave me a death glare, and subsequently pretended to be looking at her laptop.

I couldn't help but laugh, but what worries me most is that she isolated herself from the rest of the class, myself included, could it be she is not interested in getting to know me?
I need a girl's perspective on this.
 
Trying to pick out an Anniversary gift is fun.
I'm terribly indecisive.

Not entirely sure what advice I'm looking for, I don't want someone else to decide it for me, but equally so, I want to make her happy and show her how much she means to me.
 
SMT said:
So I talked to this girl I really like the previous week, she was sitting one row in front of me. I used bye combined with her name, and she seemed to have forgotten my name, but forced a smile. Right after the class, I saw her in the hallway, she gave me a death glare, and held the door open for me, I said 'hey thanks', but she pretended to not hear it and kept going.

Next class, she sit two rows behind where I usually sit, I came in a little late and was expecting her to be where she was last time: in front of me.
Later, when we were packing it up after the professor finished the course, she gave me a death glare, and subsequently pretended to be looking at her laptop.

I couldn't help but laugh, but what worries me most is that she isolated herself from the rest of the class, myself included, could it be she is not interested in getting to know me?
I need a girl's perspective on this.
Click to expand...

I think you're analyzing this stuff way too much, and in doing so, perhaps coming off the wrong way without even knowing it.
 
Timedog said:
I think you're analyzing this stuff way too much, and in doing so, perhaps coming off the wrong way without even knowing it.
Click to expand...

I need to theorize and plan the best course of action, I also need to know if the preceding cues are indeed negative. Being a scientist in the field of interaction, it is never a bad idea to gather insight from the target gender, I have yet to reach saturation, and am still lost as to why she is behaving this way.

Your input is well appreciated.
 
SMT said:
I need to theorize and plan the best course of action, I also need to know if the preceding cues are indeed negative. Being a scientist in the field of interaction, it is never a bad idea to gather insight from the target gender, I have yet to reach saturation, and am still lost as to why she is behaving this way.

Your input is well appreciated.
Click to expand...

You could stop talking about it like you're on the safari hunting a rare bird for starters.
 
Devolution said:
You could stop talking about it like you're on the safari hunting a rare bird for starters.
Click to expand...

But I thought we were studying her symptoms and then pulling conclusions? :)
Isn't this the goal of advice?
 
Opiate said:
This may be a disparity related to age, as I'm in my late twenties. I have a full time job while also taking 10 credit hours at school, running a charity and moderating GAF. I exercise for an hour a day, and I am an avid reader.

This leaves fairly limited time for regular "socialization." When I do so, I tend to love good food -- both because it's good in itself, and also because it facilitates communication and discourse. In general, I find I prefer small settings with direct discussion rather than large settings. In large group settings, the conversations can almost never be particular, because any specific subject is likely to bore others to tears -- particularly if your interests are like mine. Group/party settings tend to degenerate in to discussions on sports, or social phenomena of the most banal nature because you can't leave people out. When discussing topics with a single person or very small group, those issues are non existent and topics can become more in depth and specific, which I appreciate.
Click to expand...

This sounds a fair bit like me (although i enjoy discussing things like sport). Club and party settings just aren't something i'm interested in. In fact being in a long term relationship only makes that sort of setting even more unappealing.
 
SMT said:
But I thought we were studying her symptoms and then pulling conclusions? :)
Isn't this the goal of advice?
Click to expand...

Her symptoms are her own, I can't begin to speculate what you might or might not have done. Maybe she thinks you're a creep, who knows. You could just ask her instead of analyzing where she happens to sit down.
 
Zeouterlimits said:
Trying to pick out an Anniversary gift is fun.
I'm terribly indecisive.

Not entirely sure what advice I'm looking for, I don't want someone else to decide it for me, but equally so, I want to make her happy and show her how much she means to me.
Click to expand...

Good luck!

The best advice I can give is to get her something that reminds you of her and of what the two of you have.
 
Devolution said:
Her symptoms are her own, I can't begin to speculate what you might or might not have done. Maybe she thinks you're a creep, who knows. You could just ask her instead of analyzing where she happens to sit down.
Click to expand...

I sincerely hope it's the creep thing, because everything points to that, it's better than her thinking I have a poor personality.
I kept our banter light-hearted, and under one minute, I type differently than I speak too, so no bable took place.

I think your conclusion is convenient enough, I won't pursue her any longer.
I probably came off too strong when I complimented her eyes and told her she looked familiar.

And you only have one chance at first impressions, I'm new at this talking thing.

Edit: Oh yes, I forgot to smile, I wonder if that factors-in to anything.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

  • Poll
Gartner strongly advises against using AI Browsers
News 
8
269
willothedog replied
About to fly to Orlando from Maine through a summer storm advisory.....
28
689
poodaddy replied
advise on fitness plan
2 3
134
7K
ZakSS replied
ManGAF - the hair thread after the pandemic
28
826
triplestation replied
I'm about to make huge changes again, need advise.
15
2K
Omega Supreme Holopsicon replied
Top Bottom