I totally agree. I'm not the same person I was at 18 no one is for the most part. We grow so much as we mature. If two people are of a different mindset in a relationship the chances are that at some point it's going to cause a riff. If it's just hooking up that's fine, but an 18yo and 40yo are on different planes mentally. The 18yo hasn't had the life experience and the 40yo has the experience and is probably set in his ways. There's always an exception to the rule but generally speaking it's not a good look.
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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
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I totally agree. I'm not the same person I was at 18 no one is for the most part. We grow so much as we mature. If two people are of a different mindset in a relationship the chances are that at some point it's going to cause a riff. If it's just hooking up that's fine, but an 18yo and 40yo are on different planes mentally. The 18yo hasn't had the life experience and the 40yo has the experience and is probably set in his ways. There's always an exception to the rule but generally speaking it's not a good look.
Different people mature at different rates. I've seen people in their 40's who are less mature than some people in their 20's.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel creepy trying to chat up anyone that are 10+ years younger than me, even if I'm not doing it to get a date.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
You can't seriously believe that people of that age date and have relationships solely because they expect to find their lifelong soulmate.
If two people, no matter their ages, enjoy each other's company, have "chemistry," and feel sexually compatible (assuming that is an aspect of the relationship) then that should be the end of the discussion. These strict societal rules and expectations about who can be interested in who(m? I can never remember the usage here) are absurd.
Amibguous Cad
Member
Not that I have a problem with age gap, but I do believe most people will have difficulty in finding common ground to sustain such a relationship, 22 years is really close to a generation difference. Not to mention the association seems to be purely based on sex. No offense intended Veigar, but 18 is also a bit young to be committing in a relationship that would require a lot more effort than your average one.
I don't think you're entirely wrong. By nature of their job flight attendants probably have hook ups more often than the rest of us. Is it so farfetched if they have regulars they see in the cities they travel the most to?
I did. My first relationship was with a 39-year old as a 17-year old. The age gap did eventually become too much for the relationship, but we hadalot of fun in the interim. I gained a ton of confidence, figured out a lot about myself and what I want out of relationships, explored my kinky side with someone who knew what the hell he was doing, and had a lot of mindblowing sex. We parted amicably. No regrets.
Maybe I should be shifting paradigms now that I'm 23, but I still approach relationships with, "how is this going to help me learn about myself and grow as a person," rather than, "Is this going to last forever?" The experience will hopefully help when I do start to look for someone to share a life together.
Hehehe..
All this talk, made me remember some recent developments, in the local news/stuff.
Basically, some of you may remember that senator from Puerto Rico, Roberto Arango; whose naked pictures started appearing online after been found on Grindr.
He denied that he was gay, was married for some time and had a daughter, plus because he spent years fighting against the gay community and even trying to pass a law to force families to inform whatever the heck they did on their bedrooms and with who (obviously ended in nothing and considered unconstitutional)...so, people just accepted the excuses and the gay rumors as just gossip because of this years elections.
Well, after so much denial and that he still denies that he's gay (or bi)...there are pictures of him and his 21 years old boyfriend (that he met in May last year, before the pictures thing) kissing on the beach and posing for pictures, holding each other...and everything. Of course he's in Florida, since he thought that going it in PR would expose him.
But oh well, even an homophobic 40+ years old guy can be in a relationship with another guy, so I guess there's still hope for me. XD
*****
But yeah. To me, age is not a problem, as long as both sides are sure of what they want and communicate. But then again, that applies to all age ranges.
On Veigar's case; it depends mostly on, if that they've known each other just for a month and has mostly been as fuck buddies. They might want to spend at least some time without having sex and getting to know each other; before just saying "yes" to been a boyfriend.
All this talk, made me remember some recent developments, in the local news/stuff.
Basically, some of you may remember that senator from Puerto Rico, Roberto Arango; whose naked pictures started appearing online after been found on Grindr.
He denied that he was gay, was married for some time and had a daughter, plus because he spent years fighting against the gay community and even trying to pass a law to force families to inform whatever the heck they did on their bedrooms and with who (obviously ended in nothing and considered unconstitutional)...so, people just accepted the excuses and the gay rumors as just gossip because of this years elections.
Well, after so much denial and that he still denies that he's gay (or bi)...there are pictures of him and his 21 years old boyfriend (that he met in May last year, before the pictures thing) kissing on the beach and posing for pictures, holding each other...and everything. Of course he's in Florida, since he thought that going it in PR would expose him.
But oh well, even an homophobic 40+ years old guy can be in a relationship with another guy, so I guess there's still hope for me. XD
*****
But yeah. To me, age is not a problem, as long as both sides are sure of what they want and communicate. But then again, that applies to all age ranges.
On Veigar's case; it depends mostly on, if that they've known each other just for a month and has mostly been as fuck buddies. They might want to spend at least some time without having sex and getting to know each other; before just saying "yes" to been a boyfriend.
Well, 3rd date was amazing last night. BUT, the same thing that happened to Scott (last week IIRC) happened to me as well. Who knew 1800 silver from the night before would make me so gassy 
Not keen on handholding. Arms around each other is preferred.
My max age group i'd hook-up/date is probably between 40-45.
Not keen on handholding. Arms around each other is preferred.
My max age group i'd hook-up/date is probably between 40-45.
We talked about a 22 years age difference. Not 5 or 10, which from the mid 20 to above don't really matter imo.
But thats the point, age should never matter... well for legal adults i mean.
No offense but I think it's naive to think that. Relationships can't survive on love alone. Age matters, just like common interests and financial status and hundreds of other things (different for everyone of course). All of these issues will manifest themselves in one way or another. It's how you approach them and how much effort you're willing to put in to make it work that determine the outcome.
No one is close minded when they offer cautionary advices and no one said emphatically that it'll never work (well, maybe except Rez). It seemed like most of us just wondered if he is even into the guy more than just for the casual sex.
Some of the guys I meet come to my work, some at bars, and some on Grindr.
Really you find that creepy? What about having friends that are just that much younger than you?
I guess I should've clarify by saying that in situations where me striking up a conversation can be misconstrued as an attempt in hitting on the other person, I would feel creepy if he is much younger than I am. I have no problem having younger friends, especially those I met under other circumstances.
SpaceBridge
Member
There's was a term for older guys who only dated/fucked younger guys: Chicken Hawk. Anyone heard that term before?
i thought the older+younger thing was called Mature couple? or is that a porn thing?
i thought the older+younger thing was called Mature couple? or is that a porn thing?
Mature couple is two old guys (or girls, or guy/girl).
The old+young is called Xgen (Cross-generation).
Dead Prince
Banned
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
I think we're talking about two separate things here. Your best friend who you fuck on the side versus "a relationship". I'm not going to get into a semantic argument here, if you see them as the same thing, awesome, but I'd consider that very unfocused, inarticulate language.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
All this older/younger talk reminds me of my HOT silver fox (early 40s) FB back home. Oh man.
Souldriver
Member
I know a couple that has a 17 year difference between them. I'm sure they also sometimes think to themselves and discuss together how things will work in the future, but they've been together for 4 years and still going strong. They love each other. Calling their relationship anything but a relationship is wrong.
Think a minute before you basically call every relationship between people with an age gap of "x amount off years" just fuck buddies and nothing more. It's rude.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
What? Where did I say that?
I didn't say all of these relationships, if you insist on that language, is inherently less than anyone else's. It's not a value judgment. I don't look at people who are into that sort of thing as beneath me or enjoying lesser experiences.
I just see it as, like I said, unsustainable to a degree proportional to the age gap.m
MidnightScott
Banned
Some of y'all already know this from the Skype chat...
But me and the guy won't be a couple for a long time if at all. Not while he is dealing with all of this drama and shit in his life. He already knows that I am waiting for him though and I know it's foolish to do so, but I am taking the chance because I feel it will be worth it in the end.
I took a new pic today: http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hpho...0019556646_685251645_9300967_1506817995_n.jpg
But me and the guy won't be a couple for a long time if at all. Not while he is dealing with all of this drama and shit in his life. He already knows that I am waiting for him though and I know it's foolish to do so, but I am taking the chance because I feel it will be worth it in the end.
I took a new pic today: http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hpho...0019556646_685251645_9300967_1506817995_n.jpg
Souldriver
Member
You're saying there's a difference between a real relationship and "best friends who fuck". And since you insist couples with a big age difference are inherently destined to fail in a relationship, it's not that hard to read what I just said into your words.
But maybe I misunderstood, and you can explain yourself better.
Rez said:
Rez said:
Can't really blame me for misreading your words.
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
In addition to my edits above, the closer people are in age, the more likely they are to it turning points in their lives at the same time. As a forty year old faces his fifties and eighteen year old faces, their, well, mid-twenties, they both go through dramatically different, profound person journeys. These aren't always compatible. It makes the relationship much more volatile. I don't think that's unfair at all.
Souldriver
Member
Crumpet Trumpet
Banned
D
Deleted member 30609
Unconfirmed Member
That's not an unfair statement. But it's also a statement much less radical and black/white as your earlier ones in this thread on this subject. I'll just go ahead and assume this post has your definitive thoughts about it.
I'm guilty of being lazy with some of posts every now and then.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
Disaster. DO NOT do this. You're denying yourself a chance with other people that aren't saddled with baggage.
Well yes, I see your point. And I am sure that there are close-minded people everywhere. And surely people are quite divided and some just manage to be a bit more liberal about things that don't or at least shouldn't really even concern them. Also luckily it seems that the World is changing a bit, at least in some places there are signs of hope (and yes, I am still overly optimistic cause of the results of the presidential elections, ask me again after a month or two).It really depends where in Europe. Sadly, Poland is still a really divided place when it comes to LGBT. On one hand we are a progressive country and there are even love parades organized each year, on the other hand, every time such a parade is organized it's organization is always preceded with lots of problems and counter-parades organized by conservatives. And even though we have an open gay activist and a transsexual women in Lower House nowadays, they aren't treated that well even by other members of parliament. The other day a right-winger parliamentarian openly "joked" about bestiality when the gay guy said that we should "treat animals like partners", and another parliamentarian kept calling the transsexual women per "he", or "mister" in an argument. None of them were penalized. :/
And I really doubt a gay couple (males) could walk down the street holding hands and not being beaten up by thugs or at least made fun of.
BTW. Your red hair look amazing.
And everything seems to be easier for female couples. I am sure it is partly cause heterosexual men just find it somewhat arousing, don't think it threathens their manliness and also can just easily think that the said females "just haven't never got real cock" and thus it is ok to see on the streets.
And btw, that was very polite of you to say. Thank you. ^__^
Oh, and I also need to comment this adorable age discussion we are having in here. As long as both are on a legal age, age doesn't matter at all. If some person actually thinks one is in the same level (what ever that said level would be) with a person who is way younger/older than one is, I say go for it. My stepmother is 22 years younger than my dad is, and I couldn't care less about the age. She is adorable and nice as a person.
But that is just me.
Watch out for fernoca!
Haha, nah..been toning down the "moar" stuff, at least for straight guys. Don't want to scare them
yet!
(Digishine posted a pic ..and damn!..) SpaceBridge
Member
Wait, are saying that there isn't a difference between a real relationship and fuck buddies?
Souldriver
Member
No, it was in relation to what Rez said, because I read in his comments that the difference between a real relationship and fuck buddies perfectly matched the difference between couples without an age difference and those with one.
SpaceBridge
Member
Okay, we'll I'm confused now.
I do tend to agree with Rez on this one though in regards to the inherent instability of relationships with a massive age gap, especially a gay relationship. But I'm steering clear of this one as I tend to come off as a jerk in these type of discussions.
I do tend to agree with Rez on this one though in regards to the inherent instability of relationships with a massive age gap, especially a gay relationship. But I'm steering clear of this one as I tend to come off as a jerk in these type of discussions.
When it comes to the age difference, I think I'm just projecting my life path. I'm 26 and I have lived in 3 different countries which more or less correspond to 3 very different phases in my life. I'm just thinking back on how I was when I was 22 and how I am now at 26 and it blows my mind how I've matured as a person.
As a result, whenever I meet people who are 21/22 I can't help but think about that and as such I can't take them seriously because all I see is myself 4 years ago.
It's weird and probably wrong but I can't help it.
However that only seems to apply to romantic relationships. One of my roommate is 23 and yet I consider him as an equal. I don't think about the fact that he's almost my younger brother's age. Same thing goes for the guy who I work with on a daily basis and who's younger that my younger brother (22).
The more I think about it and the more it applies to people who are still in school. It seems that getting out there in the real world makes people mature in a certain way that makes me feel not awkward around them.
As a result, whenever I meet people who are 21/22 I can't help but think about that and as such I can't take them seriously because all I see is myself 4 years ago.
It's weird and probably wrong but I can't help it.
However that only seems to apply to romantic relationships. One of my roommate is 23 and yet I consider him as an equal. I don't think about the fact that he's almost my younger brother's age. Same thing goes for the guy who I work with on a daily basis and who's younger that my younger brother (22).
The more I think about it and the more it applies to people who are still in school. It seems that getting out there in the real world makes people mature in a certain way that makes me feel not awkward around them.
Don't.
Do.
This.
Maybe I'm jaded, but don't waste your damn time, because it's more important than his.
Dead Prince
Banned
Lord you're from SA?
I have some stories to tell about The Saint
We all do sis, we all do
YESSSSSS. But I was more thinking the tripping down the stairs scene more than that.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
No, we were talking about the same thing; where you got the idea that I think a fuck buddy and a relationship are interchangeable is beyond me, though.
I do, however, believe that Veigar and his 40-year old friend - or most any other couple of varying ages - are entirely capable of transitioning from no-strings-attached sex to a legitimate relationship if both parties wish to pursue such a thing, and they don't need to bank on failure from the outset nor do they need to assume it will lead to a marriage. It would simply be a relationship. It exists until it no longer can.
You and Alcoori obviously hold different views than I of what could or should be entered into between two people. It's all subjective and I don't feel compelled to go any further.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
There's boobs all over that one
There's boobs all over that one
Who cares? Boobs are completely blocked out for me.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
The mods, probably ;P
Further to your post Midnight - DO NOT DO THIS. I'll say it a hundred times. If he wanted to be with you, he would be. Don't wait around or you'll end up bitter and jaded and checking horoscope sites.
The mods don't care about ze art! CENSORSHIP! #OCCUPYNEOGAF
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
This forum's called Neogaf, it aint called classes. Seeya.
The Broken Ska Record
Member
Lord you're from SA?
I have some stories to tell about The Saint
Too many people from SA. D:
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