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LadyGAF Advises ManGAF

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girlgaf, me and my wife usually watch TV together while eating dinner. Out of blue today she says she wants to do dinners without tv. She me to have have alone time with her when we are having dinner, talk to her, etc. But I like watching TV while having dinner :( we talk all the time too. If I had it my way we watch TV and do dinner forever. I dunno what got into her...tell me what to do o wise ones.
 
girlgaf, me and my wife usually watch TV together while eating dinner. Out of blue today she says she wants to do dinners without tv. She me to have have alone time with her when we are having dinner, talk to her, etc. But I like watching TV while having dinner :( we talk all the time too. If I had it my way we watch TV and do dinner forever. I dunno what got into her...tell me what to do o wise ones.

Compromise. Mayhaps she's trying to find a new thing to help her feel close to you. Mayhaps she feels that talking to you over dinner strengthens your bond and is different than talking to you in other situations. So indulge her for a few days of the week, and PVR the shows you would otherwise be watching.

For a couple of the other days, watch dinner in front of the TV, because it's a ritual that provides you with a sense of comfort.

The part that requires no reply: I hope you're (both) finding ways to keep up the romance in your lives! When you feel special and important to one another, and you keep things fresh, it permeates other aspects of your relationship.
 
Compromise. Mayhaps she's trying to find a new thing to help her feel close to you. Mayhaps she feels that talking to you over dinner strengthens your bond and is different than talking to you in other situations. So indulge her for a few days of the week, and PVR the shows you would otherwise be watching.

For a couple of the other days, watch dinner in front of the TV, because it's a ritual that provides you with a sense of comfort.

The part that requires no reply: I hope you're (both) finding ways to keep up the romance in your lives! When you feel special and important to one another, and you keep things fresh, it permeates other aspects of your relationship.

I will go with this suggestion and try to split our weeks. She wont say no to that. Thanks ^_^
 
I posted this in the dating thread, but I'm curious if any ladies of GAF might have anything to offer.

Quick backstory (longer story can be found here), been good friends with a girl for a long time, and there's definitely a mutual attraction going on. I've asked her out, got denied, and realized I really didn't want to / couldn't handle being "just friends" with her, so stopped talked to her completely. This went on for about 9 months, until I got a random IM from her. We had a good conversation, and anytime she tried to flirt I'd either ignore it or change the topic. The thing is, she has contacted me multiple times now (I haven't initiated it at all), wanting to talk / asking when I'm going to be in the area. She's invited me to go out with her even. Problem is, her friends will be there, which is strange to begin with....girl's night out + me?

I guess what I'm asking is, I know this girl likes attention and is a flirt, but why contact the guy who asked her out and she said no to after all this time? My friends tell me there's no chance here (I agree, but not going to lie, there's still a part of me that's hopeful), but I'm curious what ladyGAF thinks. I'm just not entirely sure how to proceed with a girl who has said she's not interested in dating, and 9 months later comes back to me as if nothing at all has happened.
 
I posted this in the dating thread, but I'm curious if any ladies of GAF might have anything to offer.

Quick backstory (longer story can be found here), been good friends with a girl for a long time, and there's definitely a mutual attraction going on. I've asked her out, got denied, and realized I really didn't want to / couldn't handle being "just friends" with her, so stopped talked to her completely. This went on for about 9 months, until I got a random IM from her. We had a good conversation, and anytime she tried to flirt I'd either ignore it or change the topic. The thing is, she has contacted me multiple times now (I haven't initiated it at all), wanting to talk / asking when I'm going to be in the area. She's invited me to go out with her even. Problem is, her friends will be there, which is strange to begin with....girl's night out + me?

I guess what I'm asking is, I know this girl likes attention and is a flirt, but why contact the guy who asked her out and she said no to after all this time? My friends tell me there's no chance here (I agree, but not going to lie, there's still a part of me that's hopeful), but I'm curious what ladyGAF thinks. I'm just not entirely sure how to proceed with a girl who has said she's not interested in dating, and 9 months later comes back to me as if nothing at all has happened.

I think that unless you ask her if she has changed her mind you will never be sure. Honestly, I know women who will do this, just because they like having an admirer around, even if they don't reciprocate, but she may well have found she is interested in you after all. My advice? Don't let her screw you around. Get her to come out and say it.
 
Okay, so I have an upcoming situation with a girl I asked out and was rejected (actually she never even gave a response back) by. Now we were work friends before and hung out a few times. Anyways I talked to her about asking her out and where we stood (friends apparently) and she was cool with me joining her for a gig next Wednesday. I then tried to arrange a meetup with her and another ex-workmate to catchup on stuff and told her to get back to me when she's free.

Again no response at all. So I'm feeling that I'm trying to have a one sided friendship here and being ignored is making me feel like shit about. The thing is that I think this girl is most amazingly interesting person I've met, but if she's not willing to get back to me I feel I should just tell her next Wednesday that I'm putting effort in trying to be a friend, being interested in her life and interests and you're ignoring me. So even though I think you're an amazing person to know, I'm not doing this anymore if you don't have any interest in being friends.

I'll obviously say it in a better way, but that's the gist. Or I could just hang out with my cousin at the gig instead and see if she says hello.
 
Okay, so I have an upcoming situation with a girl I asked out and was rejected (actually she never even gave a response back) by. Now we were work friends before and hung out a few times. Anyways I talked to her about asking her out and where we stood (friends apparently) and she was cool with me joining her for a gig next Wednesday. I then tried to arrange a meetup with her and another ex-workmate to catchup on stuff and told her to get back to me when she's free.

Again no response at all. So I'm feeling that I'm trying to have a one sided friendship here and being ignored is making me feel like shit about. The thing is that I think this girl is most amazingly interesting person I've met, but if she's not willing to get back to me I feel I should just tell her next Wednesday that I'm putting effort in trying to be a friend, being interested in her life and interests and you're ignoring me. So even though I think you're an amazing person to know, I'm not doing this anymore if you don't have any interest in being friends.

I'll obviously say it in a better way, but that's the gist. Or I could just hang out with my cousin at the gig instead and see if she says hello.

How long have you known this girl? You are treating this friendship much like a relationship. You sound like a clingy friend.

You really shouldn't say anything to her at all. It's her right to ignore you and she doesn't have to respond to anything you send her. Her not doing so is likely purposeful. You expressed a liking for her beyond friendship and now are continuing to ask her out on "friendly" dates as a friend.

If it were me, I'd think you were a little creepy. You already expressed you had interest in me beyond friendship, why would I want to be your friend? Why would I go out with you knowing you like me?

If someone doesn't want to be your friend, tough luck. Don't get upset at her for the effort your putting forth. Not everybody in life is going to want to be your friend.

My advice would be to not say anything to her about it. If you guys have any set plans, follow through with them and then never contact her again. If she never contacts you then you know she doesn't really care about you at all.

You are taking this way too seriously. You need to back off at the very least.
 
I'm not ladygaf (although that's my girlfriend just above this)...

But dude.. you need to back WAY the hell off if you have any interest in this girl, even as a friend.

I'd say do what you said last.. hang out with your cousin and don't even bother with her.. if she approaches you, then fine... but you are going to come off just insane telling her you are putting in all this effort / it's one sided etc.
 
lol, right.

Caught the stealth edit ;P

But yeah I also read that as a MY GIRLFRIEND post.

honestly, a reflection on the posters here how they flip out when someone mentions their girlfriend/sex/etc., not the other way around. Why in the world would it be "bragging" to mention my girlfriend just posted? It's not exactly an accomplishment to have a girlfriend.. again, reflection on you guys not me.

I'm sure if your girlfriend posted on the same forum as you you'd never mention it.. not once.. because.. that would be totally normal to do.. lol

Actually it seems like you're the one flipping out on this. Everyone else was just making observations.
 
Jesus you people are lame. She was telling me about this thread.. so I came in here to comment.. and indicated that I share her opinion.

The fuck is wrong with you people? I've mostly only mentioned that she's my girlfriend because we share the same IP and I worry of a ban.. or it was actually relevant to the thread we were both posting in. OR, I was having to defend myself for being called a liar.. which is fucking dumb. Check my post history, I've barely mentioned her.. honestly, a reflection on the posters here how they flip out when someone mentions their girlfriend/sex/etc., not the other way around. Why in the world would it be "bragging" to mention my girlfriend just posted? It's not exactly an accomplishment to have a girlfriend.. again, reflection on you guys not me.

I'm sure if your girlfriend posted on the same forum as you you'd never mention it.. not once.. because.. that would be totally normal to do.. lol
 
Actually it seems like you're the one flipping out on this. Everyone else was just making observations.

It's obnoxious. Even beyond "flipping out", accusing someone of.. "bragging"?

I can't imagine a world where I'd think it was bragging for a guy to mention his girlfriend.

But I'll move on, and avoid mentioning the fact that sometimes I'm posting in the same thread as my girlfriend, lol.
 
Lady-GAF, out of curiosity, how's my hair? I'm tempted to grow it longer.

8h7at.jpg


Also from the picture how old would you say I look? Bear in mind I'm 22.
 
It's obnoxious. Even beyond "flipping out", accusing someone of.. "bragging"?

I can't imagine a world where I'd think it was bragging for a guy to mention his girlfriend.

But I'll move on, and avoid mentioning the fact that sometimes I'm posting in the same thread as my girlfriend, lol.

"Bragging" is indeed a strong word for it, but remember the forum culture to which you are a part of, with regular "congrats on the sex!" posts and, as I was referring to, many people that feel the need to mention they have a girlfriend. I'm not saying that is you, but I hope you do realize that there are those that do this. I'm sure you've known females in your life that would talk to you like "my boyfriend blah blah blah my boyfriend blah blah blah", and the forum equivalent of this seems more annoying I guess since many of us are well aware of our ineptitude in the romantic aspects of our lives. I mean, just look at all the girl-gaf threads that are posted everyday.

I'll stop on this subject since it's a total derail, considering the topic title I think all of us males should stop advising in the first place, we are not the perspectives the guys that are asking for advice want anyway.
 
I think all of us males should stop advising in the first place, we are not the perspectives the guys that are asking for advice want anyway.

And did you or that other guy stop to think that might be why I mentioned that? I didn't want to just jump in this thread and give advice.. because.. I'm not the intended participant..

And really.. your "my boyfriend this" example sort of fails... unless you were talking about someone mentioning their boyfriend who is sitting right next to them and a part of the same conversation..

Anyways.. on with the thread, I'll unsubscribe and let the females take over again.
 
Lady-GAF, out of curiosity, how's my hair? I'm tempted to grow it longer.

8h7at.jpg


Also from the picture how old would you say I look? Bear in mind I'm 22.

You look about your age. Your hair is okay - it looks inbetweenish, as though it's being grown, but isn't there yet. This isn't a bad thing. It's an observation. I'd like to see a front-on picture.

I'll just put this out there. Is this face creepy or ugly?



1jITtl.jpg


No in the slightest.
 
I'll just put this out there. Is this face creepy or ugly?



1jITtl.jpg

Both. I don't like your style at all. Your hair is way too long for my taste and I'm not really a fan of facial hair.

Lady-GAF, out of curiosity, how's my hair? I'm tempted to grow it longer.

8h7at.jpg


Also from the picture how old would you say I look? Bear in mind I'm 22.

You look late 20's, I do not like the hair, it's too long for my liking. But you might not have a choice considering your hairline/head shape.

I will add that guys with receding hairlines also look really bad with long hair. It just makes it more obvious.
 
Ok, that hurt a little.

But I guess I'm the one that asked for it. :/

You did ask..

& you're just not my taste. Doesn't mean that's the case for other girls.

If you really want some advice, you should cut your hair and clean up a little bit. The style makes you look like you're in High School.

You seriously look like 16.
 
Here's one for LadyGAF,

I pretty much never hit on girls since for me personally it feels super creepy. Unless I'm out for drinks, dancing with someone, or actually on a date. Otherwise pretty much nothing. I'll talk and be sociable like a normal person but I don't eye up/make flirty comments out of the blue.

Does this make me appear completely uninterested in girls around me or just polite? I'm hoping the latter.

I suppose that could make me appear to lack confidence as well, although that's not really the case.
 
Ya, that was kind of uncalled for...




It's more with calling him creepy when he was saying it jokingly. There's a difference from him not being your tastes and you agreeing he's creepy.

So it's okay to come into a serious advice thread with a joke?

It didn't look like a joke to me, and I was giving honest advice.

Is this an advice thread or a coddling thread?
 
Question to LadyGAF in general: Do you find it creepy to be hit on in public by a stranger in general, regardless of how it's executed or physical attractiveness?
 
Question to LadyGAF in general: Do you find it creepy to be hit on in public by a stranger in general, regardless of how it's executed or physical attractiveness?

I have the same question, I've never hitted any girl near my job or in the bus because I think that would be creepy.
 
RawPower, I didn't realise a question about whether a face is creepy or ugly or neither was a request for a full critique of style and execution of look. Am I doing this wrong? I took your question quite literally and answered as such :)

Whether or not straight up socialising is preferable to flirting depends on execution. Some men can't hold a conversation and need the game rules to cope. Others can't pull off the bullshit, but are capable of great conversation on a neutral level. Stick with what you are most comfortable and skilled at.
 
Uh-oh

*Ahem*

Anyways, to stay on topic. LadyGAF what is your opinion of guys who don't vary their clothing much? Everyday I pretty much wear a dark colored hoodie, jeans, and a t-shirt with some sort of design or logo on it.
 
RawPower, I didn't realise a question about whether a face is creepy or ugly or neither was a request for a full critique of style and execution of look. Am I doing this wrong? I took your question quite literally and answered as such :)

A full critique is fine, so long as it's not rude or disrespectful (like the other poster, to an extent). There is nothing wrong with making positive changes if it doesn't entail going too far, if you know what I mean. :P
 
RawPower, I didn't realise a question about whether a face is creepy or ugly or neither was a request for a full critique of style and execution of look. Am I doing this wrong? I took your question quite literally and answered as such :)

I did not give him a full critique.

I simply explained my reasoning for why the face was "creepy or ugly."

Don't come into an advice thread if you don't want honesty.
 
In that case, I'll remark the beard and hair. They don't look bad and you're fortunate in the hair you have, but I think you would look way nicer with a shorter cut and a shave. I think you're better-looking than you're allowing right now.
 
In that case, I'll remark the beard and hair. They don't look bad and you're fortunate in the hair you have, but I think you would look way nicer with a shorter cut and a shave. I think you're better-looking than you're allowing right now.

I hope it's not too much to ask, but could you clarify this a little bit. You seem to be saying that I look good with the beard and hair I have, but at the same I don't. I'm a little confused.

And CooTooLoo, you have to remember that many of us (I'm assuming) are already insecure about how we look and feel. Honesty is one thing, but you were kind of blunt there. The post I quoted above is a good example of an honest critique.
 
A full critique is fine, so long as it's not rude or disrespectful (like the other poster, to an extent). There is nothing wrong with making positive changes if it doesn't entail going too far, if you know what I mean. :P

I don't believe I was being rude or disrespectful at all. I'm sorry if in some way I hurt your feelings, but all I was doing was being honest about how your photo made me feel in regards to your question.
 
Uh-oh

*Ahem*

Anyways, to stay on topic. LadyGAF what is your opinion of guys who don't vary their clothing much? Everyday I pretty much wear a dark colored hoodie, jeans, and a t-shirt with some sort of design or logo on it.

This is what I prefer.

I don't like loud clothing with a lot going on, that's pretty girly to me.

You're a man, you don't need pretty designs on your t-shirt., and you can look nice and put together without being flashy.
 
I hope it's not too much to ask, but could you clarify this a little bit. You seem to be saying that I look good with the beard and hair I have, but at the same I don't. I'm a little confused.

You look fine, and because your hair is thick, curly, and rather deep you're showing off an asset. You can carry on unchanged without a problem. I think you could look better though. I think you would look better without the beard and long hair. You look like you're hiding something.
 
You look about your age. Your hair is okay - it looks inbetweenish, as though it's being grown, but isn't there yet. This isn't a bad thing. It's an observation. I'd like to see a front-on picture.
Fair enough.

Perhaps I should wear a hat for the time being?

You look late 20's, I do not like the hair, it's too long for my liking. But you might not have a choice considering your hairline/head shape.

I will add that guys with receding hairlines also look really bad with long hair. It just makes it more obvious.
My hairline has always been like this, so it's certainly not receding. :P

The problem I have with my hair is how fine it is, since it's certainly not very thick at all sadly.
 
I have the same question, I've never hitted any girl near my job or in the bus because I think that would be creepy.

There's nothing inherently creepy about starting a conversation with someone. It could easily be super creepy or not creepy at all depending on the setting, how you're initiating and subsequently conveying yourself, whether you're attractive, and a little bit of the psychology of the person you're talking to (e.g. the Megan Foxes of the world might mace you no matter what, sethrogen.gif).

I personally don't like talking to anyone with transparent intentions in mind. I know I'm not giving most people my number without getting to know them first and thinking they're cool, due to creeper potential, so I'll treat others the same way.
 
I have the same question, I've never hitted any girl near my job or in the bus because I think that would be creepy.

I have once, and it was yesterday, but it failed because she had a boyfriend. The reason I brought this up was because in my approach I said something like "I apologize if this comes off as creepy..." and Dating-Age told me definitely not to do that in the future.
 
Fair enough.

Perhaps I should wear a hat for the time being?

My hairline has always been like this, so it's certainly not receding. :P

The problem I have with my hair is how fine it is, since it's certainly not very thick at all sadly.

I have the same problem. I'd love lots of hair.

Nah, I don't think you need to wear a hat, though on a bad-hair-day I treasure my caps, and can't recommend them enough. I just think if you're growing your hair then that's what it looks like. If you're not then you have to decide if you want to look like you're growing your hair, or if you want to get it shaped properly.
 
I have once, and it was yesterday, but it failed because she had a boyfriend. The reason I brought this up was because in my approach I said something like "I apologize if this comes off as creepy..." and Dating-Age told me definitely not to do that in the future.

If you think you're being creepy, why shouldn't the person you're talking to think as much too? Shit, your opinion on the matter means more than theirs, even, since you know what you're thinking and not just what you're saying.
 
Fair enough.

Perhaps I should wear a hat for the time being?

My hairline has always been like this, so it's certainly not receding. :P

The problem I have with my hair is how fine it is, since it's certainly not very thick at all sadly.

Also maybe it's my anxiety but I always worry about my looks as well, I'm never sure if I look ugly/creepy or not... :/

After looking at it more, it really does look like the angle. Sorry!

I think you'd definitely benefit with shorter hair, but that's just me.
 
I slightly disagree with this statement. It really depends on the girl he is trying to attract.

If he likes girls who share his style and interests, then I would have to agree with you.

I'm talking about what I think of his appearance, without knowing anything about him on a personal level. I've giving my opinion, without reference to any other women, be they in his social circle or you.
 
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