[Sword for Truth - 1990]
That's a very good question, anime. Why
indeed.
What if Osamu Dezaki directed
Ninja Scroll and it had a really terrible dub? Wouldn't that be awesome?
This movie contains:
- Giant Tigers
- Lesbians
- An all female ninja clan
- Decapitations
- Drug Abuse
- Romance blooming on the battlefield
Don't believe me? Just check out these shots!
That's right. You should all totally check this out, it's quite a ride for fans of....
No.
I can't do it. I can't lie to you GAF. Do not watch this movie.
At some point in time famed director Osamu Dezaki was tasked to create a trashy ninja movie. I have literally no idea what the production process was like this title, but judging by the quality of the finished product I can only assume it was a terrible mess. How else would you end up with a movie that 47 minutes long?
There are so many problems with this movie that I don't really know where to start. Everything that can be done badly is done badly. The animation is particularly amazing, with a number of action scenes based around juxtaposing one still frame of a guy swinging a sword to another still frame of a guy being cut by the sword. We don't see the sword actually swing through the air and land on guy because that would have taken far too many frames. All the motion is implied, as if you're supposed to 'read' the movie like a comic book.
The story is similarly disjointed, flicking between a variety of sequences that have no apparent connection with completely random sets of character engaging in unexplained actions that have no impact on the task undertaken by our main character (he has to save the girl). It really feels like more than half the movie is missing completely. In one sequence a villain who can heal from any wound is attacked by a swarm of ninjas - we never see what happens to him because the movie cuts away from this fight in the middle of the action, never to return. Not that it really matters, nothing about his character or role in the story was ever established, just like everyone else in the cast.
Oh yes, our hero is Sakaki, a completely bland character with no defining characteristics, traits or emotions. He's just a device that exists so that we can see blood and tits. I think I can explain everything you need to know about this movie by describing a certain character.
At one point a women bumps into our hero on the street so that she can steal some money from him, but because he has such finely honed reflexes he notices her intentions and simply cuts all her clothes off, humiliating her in public. Later on she visits him at his home so that can sleep with him as a reward ("I hope you can do more with your weapon than cut"). In mid-coitus she tried to grab a weapon to murder him. The reason? On her back is a tattoo of a women eating babies and any many who would sleep with a women brandishing such a tattoo must be dead inside, so it's best that she kills him now as he might be dangerous. Of course, he stops her so that the sex scene can continue.
Classy.
In all honestly, the 47 minutes I spent watching this film felt like two hours. This is one of those rare cases where a work is genuinely
bad. Not average, not 'so bad it's good' but actually really bad. Do not watch this, ever.
, has now its first promotional video (official website here http://patema.jp/):
