There you go then.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
- Start date
- Status
Try going on antispychotic drugs for a while, in combination with antidepressants
SSRI's are weaksauce in comparison, as are the other antidepressants
and the side effects are ridiculous
AzureNightmare
Banned
I'm at the end of my wit and if something doesn't give soon, I may lose my shit and do something I will regret for the rest of my life. I am currently in the fight to keep my home, the attorney general of Missouri refuses to help me by providing injunctive relief against a predatory property flipper who runs a shell company solely for the purpose of buying up troubled mortgages at a low price from banks for the sole purpose of foreclosing on them and making a quick profit by turning around and selling the foreclosed property at a price far above its actual worth. We have been in and out of bankruptcy two or three times because the asshole holds payments and acts like he doesn't ever receive them. My mother seems content to just give up and not get a lawyer to fight off this scumbag and I am wildly fluctuating between explosive rage and the darkest depression I've felt in years. I need help stopping this monster, and I don't know who to turn to for this help. Please...anyone...please help me.. The bastard wants $20,000 by the 19th of April to pay off the mortgage fully and there's just no way I can pull together that kind of money.
The cops just came to check on me. Extremely suicidal and don't know how to find hope. I went to a local free clinic that said they couldn't see me for a few weeks. Been buying stuff like crazy. iPad etc. Constant ruminations are the worst part. Yes it started recently due to my grandmother passing and then the gf couldn't deal with me. I relapsed and been drinking ever since. It has helped. Smoking lots of pot too. Lost twenty lbs in two weeks. Im about to graduate and not looking forward to that either. Everyone is worried. I'm really freaked out. I just want to feel better.
I feel for you guys. I really hope things start looking up.
I've been slipping back in to some old habits recently, like isolating myself. I've spent the vast majority of my time since February at home, alone in my room. I quit my part-time job in early February due to an anxiety attack I had while at work, and I decided I just didn't want to be there anymore. I managed to work through my last two weeks there, though.
Finding a new job has proven stressful; I'm 22 and I've worked retail since leaving high school. Not only are jobs hard to come by in this city, but I don't have much experience to do anything else and social anxiety is making it hard for me to want to do anything. I'm waiting to hear back from an art university in Toronto I applied to; it should only be a couple more weeks until I hear from them. I've been trying to look at that as a positive, but thinking about moving to the other side of the country, all the money I'm going to need, and whether I even have the talent to have an artistic career...it's just been getting me even further down.
With all this free time I've been trying to force myself to work on my art, and actually do some traditional painting and such, but I just don't have the motivation or desire to do anything. I find myself wasting days away doing nothing, and it's frustrating. I'm supposed to be in the golden years of my life, right?
I've been slipping back in to some old habits recently, like isolating myself. I've spent the vast majority of my time since February at home, alone in my room. I quit my part-time job in early February due to an anxiety attack I had while at work, and I decided I just didn't want to be there anymore. I managed to work through my last two weeks there, though.
Finding a new job has proven stressful; I'm 22 and I've worked retail since leaving high school. Not only are jobs hard to come by in this city, but I don't have much experience to do anything else and social anxiety is making it hard for me to want to do anything. I'm waiting to hear back from an art university in Toronto I applied to; it should only be a couple more weeks until I hear from them. I've been trying to look at that as a positive, but thinking about moving to the other side of the country, all the money I'm going to need, and whether I even have the talent to have an artistic career...it's just been getting me even further down.
With all this free time I've been trying to force myself to work on my art, and actually do some traditional painting and such, but I just don't have the motivation or desire to do anything. I find myself wasting days away doing nothing, and it's frustrating. I'm supposed to be in the golden years of my life, right?
Captain_Spanky
Member
Ok I'd like to talk about my situation and brain a bit more. I made a post earlier about the big picture of BPD but I'd like to post about how it has affected me. This is very LiveJournal-y so feel free to ignore.
My childhood was tough. My mother has an undiagnosed mental illness very similar in symptoms to my own. Due to various "trust issues" with therapists she won't deal or acknowledge it. My dad worked away a lot. I saw him 2 or 3 days a week, and he wanted someone to go to rugby games and play British sports with him. For reference I'm an actor. Yeah.
When I left home a lot of my close extended family died. At my nana's funeral my dad declared he didn't love my mum and had been cheating on us for a long period of time. I was fucking broken, couldn't deal with uni (especially after being forced to go to get me out the house). I wanted to leave, come home and apply to drama school. I was told if I did I'd be disowned and homeless.
So I buried a lot of shit and went on with University as best I could. Met a great girl, the best girl I ever knew. Sweet, funny, totally on the same wavelength. After graduation we moved back to my home town, to a lot of fucking pressure. Because of that we decided to pack up and head to the other end of the country. Of course this fixed nothing, all the problems were still there. Eventually I lost my job here and, well, I broke. I phoned up all the helplines for help, pleading, begging someone to tell me how to cope and what to do. I was told I could only get help if I was "dangerous" to myself or others. So I over-exaggerated my freak out and acted like I was going to hurt her. The one person I've ever really cared about.
I know it was dumb. Of course it didn't work. Of course she freaked out. She called the police and I was sent away for a month for the trial. We kept in contact every day, she was great. While away my dad said I deserved all my problems which caused a...relapse. Another night under observation. A lot of physical and emotional damage. Finally get back for the trial and, thank the Gods, instead of Jail I get a years probation (and still a record which sucks). 4 days later she leaves me. This was roughly a year ago. It just isn't getting easier. And I feel like I deserve this.
I swear I'm moving on. I'm seeing a great woman who knows my history, I'm building to a future. But this week they took me off my meds "for observation" and it all hurts so much. I just want to drink until I burn.
Edit: I know how this sounds so, yeah. Maybe my posting days are over. I just need to get this out somewhere. Sorry guys and dolls.
My childhood was tough. My mother has an undiagnosed mental illness very similar in symptoms to my own. Due to various "trust issues" with therapists she won't deal or acknowledge it. My dad worked away a lot. I saw him 2 or 3 days a week, and he wanted someone to go to rugby games and play British sports with him. For reference I'm an actor. Yeah.
When I left home a lot of my close extended family died. At my nana's funeral my dad declared he didn't love my mum and had been cheating on us for a long period of time. I was fucking broken, couldn't deal with uni (especially after being forced to go to get me out the house). I wanted to leave, come home and apply to drama school. I was told if I did I'd be disowned and homeless.
So I buried a lot of shit and went on with University as best I could. Met a great girl, the best girl I ever knew. Sweet, funny, totally on the same wavelength. After graduation we moved back to my home town, to a lot of fucking pressure. Because of that we decided to pack up and head to the other end of the country. Of course this fixed nothing, all the problems were still there. Eventually I lost my job here and, well, I broke. I phoned up all the helplines for help, pleading, begging someone to tell me how to cope and what to do. I was told I could only get help if I was "dangerous" to myself or others. So I over-exaggerated my freak out and acted like I was going to hurt her. The one person I've ever really cared about.
I know it was dumb. Of course it didn't work. Of course she freaked out. She called the police and I was sent away for a month for the trial. We kept in contact every day, she was great. While away my dad said I deserved all my problems which caused a...relapse. Another night under observation. A lot of physical and emotional damage. Finally get back for the trial and, thank the Gods, instead of Jail I get a years probation (and still a record which sucks). 4 days later she leaves me. This was roughly a year ago. It just isn't getting easier. And I feel like I deserve this.
I swear I'm moving on. I'm seeing a great woman who knows my history, I'm building to a future. But this week they took me off my meds "for observation" and it all hurts so much. I just want to drink until I burn.
Edit: I know how this sounds so, yeah. Maybe my posting days are over. I just need to get this out somewhere. Sorry guys and dolls.
Had the day off today and didn't get out of bed until 1 (woke up around 11:30). Having a whole day of no responsibilities in front of you and not being able to find a reason to get out of bed is the worst. Just laid there unable to stop thinking about what a failure I've been at life. My parents recently found out about my depression and they've been trying to be supportive but I don't think they really understand the depth or severity of it.
My dad wants me to come up with a list of things I'm interested in to help come up with ideas of what to do with my life, but I can't even think of anything. I have cursory, fleeting interests here and there, and maybe a couple semi-ridiculous things I used to fantasize about doing, but years of having shattered self-esteem and self-confidence make the idea of pursuing any such thing seem ridiculous and out of character for me. Hell I sometimes barely am able to summon up the motivation to do my laundry or go to the gym or finish a book. What I really wish I could do is go back to school as an undergrad and just explore different subjects, maybe find a passion or two. Getting to do it as an 18-year-old again would be a plus. Experiencing an undergrad social life this time around would be nice as well. I......really can't think of anything else I want to do. I wanna hit the reset button. The power-off button is increasingly looking like a nice alternative. FML
My dad wants me to come up with a list of things I'm interested in to help come up with ideas of what to do with my life, but I can't even think of anything. I have cursory, fleeting interests here and there, and maybe a couple semi-ridiculous things I used to fantasize about doing, but years of having shattered self-esteem and self-confidence make the idea of pursuing any such thing seem ridiculous and out of character for me. Hell I sometimes barely am able to summon up the motivation to do my laundry or go to the gym or finish a book. What I really wish I could do is go back to school as an undergrad and just explore different subjects, maybe find a passion or two. Getting to do it as an 18-year-old again would be a plus. Experiencing an undergrad social life this time around would be nice as well. I......really can't think of anything else I want to do. I wanna hit the reset button. The power-off button is increasingly looking like a nice alternative. FML
AzureNightmare
Banned
I don't want to be homeless...
So i saw my doctor today and well it isn't helping. He wants me to write down all my negative thoughts and we can discuss them before i leave for Japan. Also the guy i like is going to Amsterdam with his boyfriend which it making me so upset. i wish there was an acid pill i can take to make me not me anymore. i'm a gay guy in a straight body and my mind wants to destroy me. I have no passion no talent nothing really going for me. Part of me wishes i could be a more open gay guy but it seems that i cannot even cut it being this way. Probably one day i will jump in front of a subway train. I seem to go on to places like grindr, okcupid as some sort of torture. seems like everyone else is in a better place, look better, have a better body, everything. Told my doctor i never asked to be born and wish i could through this life away.
revolverjgw
Member
So why not go back to school? Is something stopping you? I know that's one of the few things keeping my motivation up while I go through health problems, the thought of going back to school. I have work done toward both a BA and an IT certificate, but I want to do like you said, just find a new passion that I feel good about pursuing for the rest of my life... I'm almost 30 but I'm not hung up on that, I'd go back tomorrow if I could right now.
I don't get what you mean by this, what about you physically precludes you from being a normal gay guy?
Too expensive. It's not just taking a few classes at a community college that I want to do. I want to re-experience undergrad as a whole all over again (as if I really experienced it the first time). I don't think I could justify taking out that much in loans just to just to go back to school without any kind of focus and 'explore' and 'go find myself'. What would be nice is if there were something I wanted to go to grad school for, but there isn't, and I don't even have faith enough in my academic abilities to succeed at grad school from what I've heard of it.
You said antidepressants.
I can only go by what you tell me. I don't know their interactions with antipsychotics, though I don't think I've seen anyone ween themselves off the latter. The number of drugs you're taking along with their dosage is probably worth looking into, however. I see a lot of doctors piling up pharmaceuticals - 3, then 5, then 8 etc just to smooth over minor problems or reactions at the end of a treatment chain. It always felt like they were working in a bit of a vacuum to me. I know there are reasons for those prescriptions, but once you start getting past a few drugs, that's a bit heavy of a treatment.Uchip said:
You didn't give any specifics, either. "Brain dead" how?
You kind of sound like me. Well, exactly like me. Not sure of your age, but I'm nearly 20 and have basically no meaningful life experiences. I had a couple friends in high school, but we never really did anything meaningful together. Mostly just going to movies and driving around town until we got bored. Looking back, my entire high school career basically didn't exist. I never went to prom or went to a party. I was just kind of there. No one ever really talked to me and I never talked to anyone besides my friends who I met in like 4th grade, before my social anxiety and depression was a problem. I'm sure most people thought I was weird because I never talked, but I'm really pretty normal. I just never let people get close enough to know me other than a select few.
I'm currently going to a community college while most people I went to school with are off having a new life at 4 year schools. I have a sinking feeling my college career is going to end up exactly like my high school one. I like to think of myself as a pretty cool guy. I'm really witty and funny when playing games online or chatting with people on AIM and facebook. I've really gotten into film/music over the last couple of years and want to pursue a career in them, but I don't have the confidence to go out and collab with other students on projects. I never say anything meaningful. I always think people won't take what I say seriously, so why bother. Then I end up making a bad impression on people and lose whatever potential relationships come with those first couple small talk sessions people have together. It's like, what's the point of life if you don't have anyone to really connect to. It fucking blows, man.
J Tourettes
Banned
Did any of UK gaf see Peter Serafinowicz tweeting about depression yesterday? Managed to get Citalopram trending :lol
https://twitter.com/#!/serafinowicz
This one pretty much summed it up.
https://twitter.com/#!/serafinowicz
This one pretty much summed it up.
It is somewhat hard to explain. I do not fit to any gay mold physically nor have I ever had a boyfriend. If I was straight I probably would have been married by now. I am not attractive in the gay world I suppose. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb. I'm also not good in gay social setting whether a party gathering or club. Seems I always have something emrassing happening to me or most of the gay people just dislike me. When I try and work out to lose weight I end up thinking how it would be all a waste since really no one would date me.
I dont know what im looking at
its like im blind but still seeing things, and light streaks/ blurred
always bumping into shit and forgetting what im doing, and feeling dizzy and nauseous
tbh I dont know how im still going
Yeah from scratch. Was really happy, popular and successful during my entire childhood without a care in the world but then a series of things went wrong that destroyed my entire life. The result being I was 29, in debt, living alone, no friends, no relationships, minimal contact with my family(like once a month and then I'd feel a panic attack coming on and needed to get out of there), zero career progression, I lost the ability to feel happiness so stopped doing everything I liked(from playing football to videogames to listening to my favourite music to eating food I liked). I didn't trust anyone(I mean literally I trust no one) and couldn't relate to anyone. Hadn't had a single genuine conversation with another person for over 10 years. Hadn't had a single day of genuine happiness for over 10 years. After what happened I was completely dehumanised and I felt worthless and a complete failure, I had wasted the best years of my life and didn't see much value in what was left. The list goes on and on. Every single aspect of my life had been massively affected in a negative way. I virtually had no life, I was like a ghost drifting along in this world. I went from being pretty much the happiest person on the planet to the unhappiest. I had seen life pass me by and at this point because I couldn't feel happiness and I didn't trust anyone I couldn't even see a way to be happy even if I succeeded in everything. The loss and regrets would always be there.
I decided to take drastic corrective action and so I started a revolution of my life. Over a period of a couple of years I transformed every single aspect of my life. I didn't know the process so I kind of did it the wrong way round but everything came full circle and things are making sense again.
The process is that you
1) Start working on yourself
2) Start working on the things that you do
3) Start work on the people around you.
There is a lot of overlap between the three but that's the order you start with and then eventually make progress on all 3 concurrently. After years of repression I naturally started with 2) and 3) to try to force changes in 1). In other words I did lots of cool stuff and tried to interact with people to try and make an impact in how I felt. It had many positive effects and looking at my life from the outside you'd say wow it's awesome. But it was inefficient and like I said it came full circle and now I focus on completing 1) itself and that is where you should start. I have done it by myself, never got therapy(did a lot of self therapy) and never used anti-depressants(so I can't comment on those) as I didn't want the side effects/get hooked on them. I wanted to maintain control. My depression wasn't the result of some genetic fuck up, it was the result of myriad devastating happenings in my life and years of repression and "psychological torture" for want of a better term.
There's reasons why that is the order and it not a quick fix but at the end of the process you have a really awesome life. It is actually pretty simple to do but requires attentiveness and a commitment to the process. You won't just feel great suddenly, in fact you will need to be analysing yourself and learning about yourself through the process to help figure the next steps. I'd recommend the process to everyone on the planet, I could give more detail, but then are you prepared to invest say a couple of years into building a life for yourself?
You sound like you used to be exactly like me. I was lucky enough to make a friend in my early 20s, so I haven't been entirely alone, but other than that our situations sound eerily similar. It'd be interesting to hear more about what you did to overcome your debilitating problems.
These aren't the antipsychotic side effects?
Seems like the rest of the world even guys here get to date and i never dated anyone. i am so tired of this life. there are suicide bombers who have more of a life than me. I'm so tired of being alone. my friend and his boyfriend and another couple are going to nyc next weekend to celebrate my friend's b-day and he ask me to go. i just blew up at him blew up at him since i will be the one there with no one. now i feel a bit bad i had asked him before if he can buy me a gun since he might know some people. now he probably won't..
Air Zombie Meat
Member
Don't mean to be a dick but being single shouldn't be your biggest worry right now. In fact getting into a relationship when you're that depressed has the potential to make things worse in my experience. It might not seem that way now but hooking up with someone isn't some kind of magic bullet that fixes all your issues. You should hang out with your friends and try to have some fun.
TrumanBurbank
Member
I can relate a lot to this. Fucking sucks.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Holy shit, are you me? This describes my current situation to almost every detail, even desired field with lack of confidence. It fucking sucks seeing my friends live in dorms and talk about all the fun they have, knowing I might never experience that. I'm afraid I might waste my college years like I did high school.
I'm not going to hang around 2 couples one of whom i am attracted to and see them kiss and do the whole couple thing. i just wish my life could be like theirs, they seem to have everything together. I've put myself in those situations and i feel nothing but uncomfortable.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Jimothy said:
My new doctor wants to put me on new medication for my depression/anxiety. Right now I'm just on valium for anti-anxiety.
I guess I kinda agree, a few days ago I had a terrible bout of not having any motivation to do anything. I could barely move to grab stuff or get up, I had that horrible feeling in my limbs of being super light but also really heavy, can't really describe it. I'll have to set up an appointment soon. She also wants me to call a psychologist but I've kinda put that off as... well, I get nervous with those kind of situations, haha. But that's part of my problem I guess.
I guess I kinda agree, a few days ago I had a terrible bout of not having any motivation to do anything. I could barely move to grab stuff or get up, I had that horrible feeling in my limbs of being super light but also really heavy, can't really describe it. I'll have to set up an appointment soon. She also wants me to call a psychologist but I've kinda put that off as... well, I get nervous with those kind of situations, haha. But that's part of my problem I guess.
I had one of the worst days today. I didn't want to be home so I just walked around. I went to the mall and just stayed at Barnes and Noble. I was there six hours just walking around. It was raining pretty bad so it didn't help my mood at all. I left around 10:30 and everything was closed and most of the lights on the street were off. At that moment I just wanted to kill myself.
Are you in LA?
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
At least you leave the house every once and a while. That's better than staying inside 24/7.
yeah, the rain is really bugging me. I'm nervous the roof is going to start leaking or that water is going to flood my room.
I mostly didn't want to be with my parents, and I pretended to be at work.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
We should hang out! That way, you'll have such joyous anticipation at our next meeting that the thought of suicide could never even enter your head.
Seriously though. I'm having a housewarming party in a couple weeks, lots of nerds. Wanna come?
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Oh man, I thought I was the only one who did this.
That's how I feel about guys. The guy i like so much is dating someone else. I did pay to be with a guy a few times. Sucks afterward because i know i will never in my life get a guy like him unless i pay. I think about all the crap i could buy with that money but damn just having him with me even for a brief time feels so good but so bad later on. I have a thing for Asian guys, I can't help it. In high school and college i used to get up the strength to ask guys out always rejected always sad and alone. I was in love with my best friend for a while but he is straight.
Once he told me he think he was gay because he was interested in a foreign exchange student from Taiwan. His little dabble in being gay was brief and didn't work as that exchange student was straight. What really really really killed me was he knew i was gay, heck he was one of the first people i told he knows i would drop everything to help him and even if he was just experimenting in the gay world he didn't even think of me as a viable option. He went back to Japan 5 years ago and I have been putting off going there to see him, I am going this year, but seeing him will bring up so many hurt feelings. I've had 3 dreams of going to Japan to see him only to be introduce to his new boyfriend. In that dream i excused myself and left japan early leaving all my luggage behind. I remember that dream vividly it is like a stab womb that won't heal in my heart. I hate myself for putting myself out there all those times i got rejected, all those times i put other guys before me that i liked and for being in love with someone that doesn't see me that way. Typing all of this and thinking about it makes me want to stab myself in the heart. I know going to Japan now will probably be the worse thing that will happen to me this year, however even if i cannot be with him i would rather him be happy. I'm not worth anyone's love and affection.
Mercury Fred
Banned
You HAVE to get over this guy you're hung up on who's taken. He's taken. He isn't with you and you pining for him and resenting him for being with someone else ISN'T going to help you. It's only going to make it worse.
Stop it. Just stop it right now.
You're not going to be with someone until you start working on yourself. I totally relate to and understand the "well no one's going to love me anyway so what's the point" cycle. It's not true. I have seen allllllll kinds of people with every kind of body and every kind of face and all sorts of personalities end up in relationships. This can happen for you. But it's 100% not going to happen when you're hating yourself this much.
Start working out. Read a book. Get offline for a while. Stop logging into Facebook and other social media sites. Pretend you're a monk on a mission. Turn it into a fucking videogame about your life if you need to. But cut it the fuck out with groove you're stuck in. I KNOW that there's a certain familiar comfort in that groove but you have to get the hell out of it. Think about Kate Kane. Her life was a fucking disaster (and that girl's been through some shit) and she pulled herself together when it really counted.
You really seem to hate a lot of people. If you can't find any other motivation to get yourself together then do it out of revenge against the people you hate. If you work on yourself, you can rise above them.
Stop saying you're not worth anyone's love and affection. It's just complete bullshit. I don't care if you believe it, it's not true even if you repeat it a million times over. You are a person who deserves love and deserves affection but you have to start by giving some to yourself first.
Go read this post if you didn't see it the first time around: http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=463116
Doubt anything could help me i am living in regret and my future sucks. I'm not on speaking terms with all my friends. I guess they sided with the guy i liked. They made plans to go to Disney in Florida. I shouldn't feel hurt but i do. he seems to always find someone and always gets they guys he wants. I am not his type, i learned this indirectly from mutual friend. my whole life really wants to destroy me. i wish i could fall asleep and never wake up. I hate liking guys and having feelings. I made a list of stuff i will not miss when i am dead. i do not miss being happy or sad or anything. Nothing makes me smile so why even live. Just to work at a shitty place, living in a shitty place and have other flaunt their relationships in my face. it would be best if i jumped in front of a subway train. then i can finally be free. i dont even want an afterlife, i want to not exist anymore anywhere.
For those of you that recommend seeking professional help, how do you recommend doing so? My school has a "Wellness Exchange" center for these types of problems, but I'm not sure if that's the best outlet for me seeing as it seems to be more oriented towards victims of more serious problems like sexual assault and abuse.
Mercury Fred
Banned
You know it's funny (ok not funny, but there are some things I can see a little more clearly at the moment), I recently went through a very, very dark bout of depression, complete with regular suicidal thoughts. One thing I'm seeing about it now is that it was comfortable and familiar and feeling that way kept me from having to try to do anything. You whole life does not want to destroy you. Your pain over hurts and disappointments and rejections is giving you the illusion that your life is worthless and that you have no future. It's just not true.
And to be honest, if I was your friend, I wouldn't invite you to Disney either if you were constantly talking about killing yourself and about how much you resent everyone around you. I know that I alienated some people with some pretty dark behavior. I know it's hard to resist that talk but again, you should try doing something differently.
There's still so much you can do and so much you can be. When you're dead, you're dead. That would just suck to not have any more chances. You honestly do not know what great and unknown surprised might come your way if you persevere. I know it seems like it will always be this bad, but it won't. Heck you can even find proof of that in this thread. You're special, but you're not so special that you can't recover from this. Everyone can.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
it is a counseling center? Do they have a screening process and a psychiatrist and certified counselors?
If so, then yes. and this is a serious problem. Mental illness is taken seriously by colleges for the fact that they can show up in stressful situations which college basically is.
The best part about dead is not having to feel or know anything. Had to block a bunch of people on Facebook. I just got so tired of them posting photos from Disney. They get to have each other and I'm always alone always. Best thing about being is not having to feel alone and sad and upset at the same time. Being dead means I can sleep peacefully. I'm dreading going to Japan and I know it will be just another nail in this coffin of my horrid life.
And it doesn't get better not for me. No treatments or medication seem to work. Either to die or a lobotomy to destroy my personality seem the two best options.
What's the point of anything if you already failed at life.
AzureNightmare
Banned
I'm not happy, not by a long shot, but somehow I have gained a deep reserve of determination and hope. My resolve is now a grim one of victory by any means, and at any cost. I will not be beaten by the scam artist trying to steal my own home from me, and I will bring him down with me if necessary. I hate him more than I have ever hated anyone in my life. I hate him for being an irredeemable monster and soon enough he will come to know either my cunning, or my inextinguishable rage. I am in an incredibly dangerous mood right now.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Hey! Don't be suicidal.. The economy is picking up and it won't take you forever to get another one. PM me if you want to talk.. its better to talk to internet people than those you know IRL. Hope everything works out for you.
There must be something. At my school the counseling center is there even if you're just feeling lonely and not sure about your future (which describes me). You shouldn't wait until you're suicidal to get help.
Thanks guys. And yes, "serious" was a very poor choice of words. I suppose i meant to say more obvious problems. A big reason for why I'm hesitant to seek counseling is because I'm afraid I'll have a hard time articulating exactly why I feel like shit all the time.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
Why were you fired exactly? If you don't mind talking about it.
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