Yup definitely. When ever I get really low I tend to end up shopping and spending money I don't even want to spend. I love clothes, so I always end up buying new, stylish outfits, which makes me "happy" until I leave the store, in which case I go back to being miserable. Whenever I wear my new clothes out I can feel all the looks and glances I'm getting, which is crushing because inside I'm panged by loneliness due to a lack of friends and and inability to develop a social life.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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Yup definitely. When ever I get really low I tend to end up shopping and spending money I don't even want to spend. I love clothes, so I always end up buying new, stylish outfits, which makes me "happy" until I leave the store, in which case I go back to being miserable. Whenever I wear my new clothes out I can feel all the looks and glances I'm getting, which is crushing because inside I'm panged by loneliness due to a lack of friends and and inability to develop a social life.
Oh, I didn't mean the trippy sort of weird. I was asking if he had any experiences with dreams with incredibly vivid or life-like dreams. There have been times where I have literally been unable to distinguish between reality and my dreams. For example, I dreamt about a big blowup I had with a friend of mine, and when we ran into each other a couple days later and she greeted me, I said something along the lines of, "I don't forgive and forget that easily" and kept walking. Figured it out later that day after a text message exchange between two very confused individuals.
Another time, I asked my aunt (with whom I have a very close relationship, lives a few miles from me, see her a couple times a week, etc.) about how her youngest son was doing in school. I had literally conflated my dream, in which my aunt had always had another kid, with reality, in which she had no children within several years of the one I had imagined. The really weird thing about me imaging a cousin that I've never had was that I also knew his name, what grade he was in, and his general interests. Thankfully, I managed to talk my way out of this situation, because I'm pretty sure I would have ended up in the mental hospital had I been unsuccessful.
--------
Going back the crazy dreams thing. I know that with Effexor, there are people who basically take/experiment with the drug for dream-tripping purposes. At least I've seen internet communities dedicated specifically to Effexor dreams...but there's an internet community for everything. My final comment about my Effexor dreams would be that the dreams can often skew toward the negative/extreme emotions. Coupled with the realism of the dreams, you never get used to trying to kill your loved ones, being raped, etc. Has anybody else experienced anything like what I'm describing?
AFollowerNotALeader
Member
I get something similar on Citalopram. For me it's not so much that the dreams are vivid (they are), but that the emotions they conjure up during the dream are insanely strong and persist long after I've woken up. I still remember the feeling of betrayal from a fight I dreamed I had with my mum when I was on them last time back in 2009.
It does occasionally have its compensations though. I had one very uh... "exciting" dream a couple of weeks ago and spent the next few days in a happy haze.
I would almost make a Mental Disorders topic but it would be my first topic and im pee shy
N
NinjaFridge
Unconfirmed Member
I get this. I sometimes can't remember the dream itself but i remember the feelings and i can't understand where they are coming from. I usually remember small parts of them but I have a hard time distinguishing between the dreams and reality. Feels like I'm going crazy sometimes.
I've said this before on GAF:
Do all of this and your life and self-esteem will improve noticeably. When i'm doing it all, i go around punching the air and wanting to hgh-five people. When i'm on vacation, eating sugar, all day inside and not exercising, i feel suicidal (i'm dead serious here). Even if you only do exercise + more water, you should notice some improvement already.
- Stop eating sugar, the post-sugar crash will increase your "down" time and make you crave more sugar (and carbs)
- Stop drinking coffee (same as sugar, only even stronger)
- Eat less complex carbs (rice, pasta, etc) - they make you drowsy, lazy and/or sleepy - eat vegetables and fruit for your carbs
- Get 15 minutes of sunshine on your skin every day, it'll pick you up
- Exercise 3 or 4 times a week, for 45 minutes or more - endorphins make you happier
- Drink more water
Do all of this and your life and self-esteem will improve noticeably. When i'm doing it all, i go around punching the air and wanting to hgh-five people. When i'm on vacation, eating sugar, all day inside and not exercising, i feel suicidal (i'm dead serious here). Even if you only do exercise + more water, you should notice some improvement already.
ClassyPenguin
Banned
except none of those things worked for me apart from diet( carbs and anti-depressants make me bloat),and I run 3-4 miles every other day at the beach.
Still feel like shit during and after.Also, some medication can have water retention side-effects, so yeah, drink more water instead of sugary stuff but keep that in mind.
And coffee and tea are some of the simplest and best pleasures that I still have.
Also, this thread should not be ever moved to community.
Still feel like shit during and after.Also, some medication can have water retention side-effects, so yeah, drink more water instead of sugary stuff but keep that in mind.
And coffee and tea are some of the simplest and best pleasures that I still have.
Someone should just change the name of this one to a Mental Health OT
Also, this thread should not be ever moved to community.
RPGCrazied
Member
Video games. If I didn't have that, I'd probably end up going crazy. That or not having the internet or TV. Sure, it sucks not having friends, but with these, I don't need them anyway.
what if yr so depressed you want to suffer and cannot get yrself to not destroy yourself
J Tourettes
Banned
ClassyPenguin
Banned
I think those are better guidelines for those who are mildly depressed, not everyone. But diet exercise do help.
AdventureRacing
Member
They are good guidelines for everyone but those with severe depression will most likely need medication and/or therapy as well.
I've dealt with anxiety for a handful of years now but I think I've been going through a bout of depression the last couple months. I'm not feeling rundown but there are days where I don't feel rested at all. I go to the gym 2-3 times a week and when I start doing cardio I actually yawn while I'm doing it. Its the weirdest thing, and I can only assume its something mental. (Unless there's something wrong with me physically.) It sucks.
You've got innaccurate and negative thought patterns, for example you say "I am a 28 year old that thinks of himself as a person who is unable to commit to anything" but then you fulfilled your commitments to finish college, apply for and get a job, supporting your ex-girlfriend etc. A more accuarate thought would be "sometimes I have difficulty with commitment but there are times when when I do successfully commit to something." This is the kind of thing cognitive behavioural therapy is designed for. Look into getting a therapist or you can do some DIY therapy at http://moodgym.anu.edu.au
And of course you can use pstec for your negative feelings too.
In addition to your negative self-talk, you've got negativity from your parents. Putting my amateur psychology hat on for a moment, our relationship with our parents defines all of our relationships in life. It's our reference point. If you grow up with a strong relationship with your mother, then you grow up believing relationships are strong and worth something. It's how you see the world. If there is tension in the relationship then you believe that relationships are something to be wary of. This could be why you have commitment issues, reject people and tend towards isolation.
In addition your mom constantly calls you a failure, which can have bad effects due to the power of suggestion. If a random person calls you a failure you can brush it off. If it's your mother it will bite. And if it is constantly repeated it can imprint itself into your self-concious and then you believe it. This could be the source of your self-esteem(but this is amateur psychologist commenting on an internet post so don't take this as gospel, just a suggestion).
You should talk to your parents. Tell then how you feel, explain how they are hurting you, explain to them exactly what you want from them, what kind of relationship you want from them. If you can make your relationships with your parents positive, and your self-talk more positive then over time you will be positively reinforcing your psychology and your self-esteem should increase.
And of course avoid the addictions to alcohol/pills, get help/therapy for it.
Insane Metal
Member
Wow, no he didn't tell me any of that. I'm worried now
And I also haven't had any kind of strange dream/hallucination... and I still can't sleep well... I think I'll need drugs to sleep for the rest of my life. Fuck!
BruiserBear
Banned
BruiserBear
Banned
and what would make 25 a good age for that?
Mr. B Natural
Member
To the point, but true. Even if you aren't depressed, you should be taking care of yourself. You can never have enough well earned self-esteem. You never know when that low is going to hit and your body will already be prepared to punch back up...premptive rather than being reactive because we all know being reactive isn't really possible. They don't call it a downward spiral for nothing.
May I add that social skills are called that for a reason. It's a skill. You need practice. And just like a skill, you will suck at it but get better and as you get better you will be more willing (and confident) to use your skill and meet people or get to connect better to the people you already know. But without practice, well, the hole you're in isn't going to pull you out.
We are social creatures that think and believe in things, but it's up to the creature to give it what it needs on a very very primitive level no matter how complicated this world becomes:
1. Sleep.
2. Proper food.
3. Social interaction
4. Physical interaction.
It all breaks down to this. Ignore your stupid culture trying to teach you otherwise, to goad you into being miserable and easily exploitable. If you're not getting sleep, it's cause for concern. You gotta change your lifestyle (and I mean lifestyle, not "try something for a week and give up"). Not eating properly (it's what you are ultimately)? Well, change your lifestyle. Not interacting enough, physically and socially, that's ok, gotta evolve yourself. If you have the motivation to level up a stupid avatar in a video game, motivation to go online everyday, the awareness to feel miserable, then you have the motivation needed to evolve into something proud, smart, sexy and capable.
And I'm not saying there's shame in using a doctor's pills or whatever to get you out of a hole. I know I did it, but when I did, I didn't get it...it was a quick fix. I didn't understand that those pills can not be a crutch...instead it's a boost, a chance to get off the spiral while you're feeling a little better, to change my lifestyle, talk to people, work out, eat right, train my brain to sleep regularly, etc...all that stuff that I assumed would magically happen just because well, I'm inherently who I am. Bzzz, wrong, me. I thought my brain wasn't a single unit and that single unit is a part of my body...that a brain is like a planet, just going around the sun and once it's polluted it's polluted. Then I realized, no, your brain is more like a person on that planet that can, with willpower and repetition, up and start a new life only a better planet if willing to take the time to build a ship. Being on a planet that I was sick of and hated was and should have been all the motivation I needed to get that hammer and start banging some metal pieces together to see what works...if only I had that mindset in the first place rather than just shrugging my shoulders and saying "I'm not built to be this..." "Not meant to feel that." "That's how life is..." "Not...not...not." "It's a chemical imbalance." yeah, maybe it is, but maybe it isn't....and maybe I needed to take control of my chemicals and my own primitive needs. Maybe it was a chemical called loneliness. Maybe it's the chicken and not the egg. What was the point in believing in being helpless other than to feed the beast that made me feel helpless in the first place?
You won't do it.
BruiserBear
Banned
Does that seem rational to you? Who convinced you this thing they call a "degree" was so important?
i mean ive been hospitalized for suicide attempts roughly 30 times in my life so far, and im really self-destructive, and god damn it i need help and no one helps me
My parents
Survivors often regret their decision in midair, if not before. Ken Baldwin and Kevin Hines both say they hurdled over the railing, afraid that if they stood on the chord they might lose their courage. Baldwin was twenty-eight and severely depressed on the August day in 1985 when he told his wife not to expect him home till late. I wanted to disappear, he said. So the Golden Gate was the spot. Id heard that the water just sweeps you under. On the bridge, Baldwin counted to ten and stayed frozen. He counted to ten again, then vaulted over. I still see my hands coming off the railing, he said. As he crossed the chord in flight, Baldwin recalls, I instantly realized that everything in my life that Id thought was unfixable was totally fixableexcept for having just jumped.
http://www.newyorker.com/archive/2003/10/13/031013fa_fact?currentPage=1
Happy to talk over PMs. I'm a medical and graduate student planning on specializing in psychiatry. I've lived with depression since 2002.
BruiserBear
Banned
Yeah. That's usually how it goes.
The only goal I've ever had in life was just to be happy. I don't say that is some cliche way either. Even as a teen, when asked what my life goal was, that was my response. So far I've been quite happy and I'm 35. I have an anxious personality, and I've battled anxiety, but have gotten much better at dealing with it in recent years.
Just take a deep breath, and realize that expectations are irrelevant. Do what makes you happy. If that means living without a degree, and never making more than $40,000 a year, do it. Fuck the haters.
Annoying Old Party Man
Member
My gf is going through depression over the last few months.
It's mild currently (I think) but it's still awful - we live together and it is making both our lives miserable. Plus it feels like I can't help her, I'm starting to blame myself about not doing enough :-(
It's mild currently (I think) but it's still awful - we live together and it is making both our lives miserable. Plus it feels like I can't help her, I'm starting to blame myself about not doing enough :-(
Get professional help. It's not a burden you need to bear alone.
no. I sleep for 10 hours every night and i'm fine.
Antidepressants are often lumped into one of two categories - activating or sedating. You can search around online and get a general sense for which drugs fall into each category. The rules aren't hard and fast because of differences in pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics, but you can get a rough idea. For example, Prozac is usually thought of as activating, so you're supposed to take it in the morning, whereas Paxil is thought to be sedating, so you take it at night. Psychiatrists generally have a good handle on this kind of info so if you have a problem with being sleepy or having insomnia, discuss it with your doctor and he or she should be able to help you pick the appropriate drug.
*While looking for information about what antidepressants are covered at my hospital, and whether they have a table listing activating/sedating drugs, I was shocked to discover that the pharmacy will only dispense 18 Viagra (or competing ED medication) for every HUNDRED DAYS! That's only 65.7 passionate acts of love-making per year! If that isn't depressing, I don't know what is. Who came up with that number? Are pharmacists just not getting that much action? This is an outrage! It must be bad enough if you need Viagra, but to then have to ration your sex! It's adding insult to injury!
This x 5. No sugar, more exercise.
False. Black coffee by itself is not bad but you need to drink twice as much water as coffee to flush the caffeine. Cream and sugar obviously add fat and sugar; don't waste time with this unless you're prepared to drink only one cup, one or two glasses of water, and exercise an hour or two later.
Also false. While anger and sadness can only be defeated by confronting the cause of those emotions and struggling with them, the way to defeat boredom is productivity. This does not mean buy a season of your favorite television show and spend two days watching it. It does not mean buying video games you mildly care about and 100%ing them. It means going to the library, reading a book, and gaining perspective. It means learning a new skill, practicing, and getting better. I didn't beat my two-year bout with depression by laying in bed watching movies and playing video games because I knew I was accomplishing nothing. I beat depression by dieting without exception, exercising 5-6 days a week and spending every day productively. I would practice guitar, write music or lyrics, read, or look for a job. Listening to music more (2-3 hours a day at least) also helped but it may help me more than others who do not enjoy music as much. Because I have high self-esteem, my depression was more so affected by my relationships and my lifestyle. Making efforts to improve my lifestyle while continuing to improve myself cured my depression.
ghostofsparta
Member
I have a question for depressed-gaf.
What's worse..
Fake friends, or no friends at all.
With fake friends you won't be completely alone and that will make you feel better, but the fact that they are not with you 100 percent might bother the hell out of you.
With no friends you are alone all the time but at least you are certain that you don't have friends and don't have to deal with false hopes.
Does that make sense, or am I using depressed logic?
What's worse..
Fake friends, or no friends at all.
With fake friends you won't be completely alone and that will make you feel better, but the fact that they are not with you 100 percent might bother the hell out of you.
With no friends you are alone all the time but at least you are certain that you don't have friends and don't have to deal with false hopes.
Does that make sense, or am I using depressed logic?
Unfortunately, antidepressants don't work like that - the more you take, the better you feel. Neurochemistry is about balance - you need the right signals, in the right amounts, at the right time, in the right places. This is why drugs of abuse can be so dangerous. Instead of carefully tending a little garden in your brain, you just pour potent fertilizer on everything and see what happens.
I study the neurobiology of addiction in my current job. You need to be very careful about self-medicating. Alcohol is a messy drug and heavy drinking causes long-lasting changes in your brain. It sounds like you could use professional help. Be open and honest about your fears with your addictive personality. There are some drugs used to treat anxiety, for example, which can be incredibly addictive. If anxiety is a problem, you'll need to work with your doctor to find safer choices.
Therapy might also be extremely helpful. It sounds like you have some relationship issues to deal with and process. A combination of meds and talk might just put you back on the straight and narrow. Remember that you have doctor-patient confidentiality - you can talk about scary or embarrassing things and it's between you and the doc.
Don't try to go it alone. Get some help. These problems can be fixed. Most people treated for psychiatric conditions do get better. There's a lot of hope. I struggled with severe depression for years. I'm back to my old self now. I have a Master's degree, I'm in medical school, I'm happily married, I have a son - I lead a wonderful life. If you had told me I'd feel like this even a year ago, I would not have believed you.
Completely unrelated, but I feel compelled to post the single greatest pubmed citation in the history of the universe:
Ovarian teratoma in a bitch.
Headley SA, Fuck EJ, Fuck ET, Curti CE.
Vet Rec. 2006 Apr 22;158(16):565-7. No abstract available.
PMID:
16632533
[PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
I've found names in pubmed that are clearly of the IP Freely variety, but to this day I can't tell if the two Fuck brothers are real scientists, out there studying dog tumors.
Ovarian teratoma in a bitch.
Headley SA, Fuck EJ, Fuck ET, Curti CE.
Vet Rec. 2006 Apr 22;158(16):565-7. No abstract available.
PMID:
16632533
[PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
I've found names in pubmed that are clearly of the IP Freely variety, but to this day I can't tell if the two Fuck brothers are real scientists, out there studying dog tumors.
Trent Strong
Banned
Do you ever relax? You can't be productive every waking minute. Sometimes you just need to turn your brain off. Also, why is listening to music for 2 to 3 hours a day (which I would find painfully boring) more productive than watching TV or playing a video game?
You act like you're an expert
but you also claim that you're "cured"
Reading a Book over Playing a Video game as a factor of beating depression is quite far fetched.
Have to take your post with a grain of salt
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
I made that pact a few years ago, but it was 'scheduled' for when I turned 21. I'm 21 now, and I haven't gone though with it.
I think this might be more common that you think
I actually tried and failed, and got put on suicide watch
made getting a job almost impossible
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Yeah, that's gotta suck. I've never tried to kill myself, but I think about it a lot.
Surface of Me
I'm not an NPC. And neither are we.
I actually talked someone into extending his personal age date, though it doesnt seem as crazy as I thought it was back then.
Shoot me a PM if you want to talk.
If you're really feeling like hurting yourself, get help. Get to the hospital if you have to. Death is permanent. There are a zillion therapies to try before you do something drastic. Help is available. There are drugs, talk therapies, electroshock, TMS. Your problem might be something as simple as a low thyroid hormone level. The fix could be simple. It could be hard, but there are all sorts of sources of help out there.
I'm willing to talk, tell you my story, talk about the state of the art research, recommend books, recommend hospitals and residential programs. Your life is too precious to just throw away.
Edit:
If you're thinking about suicide, are dealing with the suicide of a loved one, or are just interested in the topic, I cannot recommend this book highly enough:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0375701478/?tag=neogaf0e-20
Robot_Rave
Neo Member
I sort of need some advice here. I am tired of not having any friends or any social life. Ever since I left school 5 years ago, I have lost all of my friends, and I haven't made any new ones. The last 5 years of my life have been so boring, and so uneventful. I am now 22 years old and I don't want to waste my 20's away being bored and miserable about life.
The last 5 years all I have been doing is just studying at University and TAFE (community college), my daily routine consists of waking up, going to Uni, doing assignments when I come home, going on the internet to look at forums, then going to bed. This has been my life for the past 5 years, and I don't want to live this boring life anymore. I'm not going to be young forever and I don't want to waste my 20's away in front of a computer.
Lately I've been trying to think of ways to make my life more interesting, but I'm coming up with no ideas, so what do I do? I want to have friends, and I want to have a social life, and I don't want to be a loner anymore. So where do I start?
The last 5 years all I have been doing is just studying at University and TAFE (community college), my daily routine consists of waking up, going to Uni, doing assignments when I come home, going on the internet to look at forums, then going to bed. This has been my life for the past 5 years, and I don't want to live this boring life anymore. I'm not going to be young forever and I don't want to waste my 20's away in front of a computer.
Lately I've been trying to think of ways to make my life more interesting, but I'm coming up with no ideas, so what do I do? I want to have friends, and I want to have a social life, and I don't want to be a loner anymore. So where do I start?
Hobbies, pick things up that pertain to your interests. Arts/crafts, sports, music. But don't just do these things alone. Get out of the house. Put yourself out there, go to art classes, take up a recreational sport, go to music festivals relevant to your taste, take a cooking class. It doesn't matter if your alone just try talking to people and you will make friends. Last weekend I went to a Brazilian Ju-Jitsu Tournament alone because I was interested in going and none of my friends could go/wanted to. I went there thinking oh great I'm sitting here like a loser and I'm going to be alone the whole time. While I was watching I started making small talk with a few people around me by asking simple questions like, "How long has this tourney been running", "Why does that guy have a different colored belt". I made friends with this guy and we ended up having a civil conversation about religion! The first guy I talked to ended up being a participant and a really chill dude, I tagged along with his friends that came to watch him and his coach. We all ended up becoming pretty tight, discussing the fights and fighters. Talk to people around you, even if they don't seem like the type to be your friend, the more you talk, the better, if your not having fun talking to the person, don't force it. Talk to someone else! Don't even have to think about what your going to say just say the first thing that come to mind, let the conversation take an organic roll. Try not to be mundane. Be excited! Meeting new people is a fun thing to do, who knows how well of friends you could become. When you go to social gatherings make your objective to be your going to say Hi to at least 5 different people from different groups.
Pollux
Member
Fake friends. Because they'll end up hurting you more than a lack of friends makes you feel alone. But that doesn't mean you won't make real friends. Keep your head up.
Robot_Rave
Neo Member
thanks for the advice, that seems really helpful. I'm already playing tennis once a week and there is a music event I'd like to go to soon, so hopefully I can talk to some people there
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