Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!

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BTW BeesEight, where does your avatar come from? It's a really cool photo, but the sole thought of a bee sitting on someone's eye (with its sting pointed at the eye) makes me shudder.
 
To you guys using online dating: Have you ever been messaging with someone, then all of a sudden they stop replying?

It's happened to me a couple of times recently, and it's way past annoying. >_>

Happens all the time. One of the downsides to chatting online. Guys just disappear even if they seemed interested. I do it too sometimes.. could be a loss of interest, maybe he was just preoccupied and forgot to reply, or ended up meeting someone else. Don't take it personally, just move on to someone else :)
 
How long have y'all been together? Beyond something extreme like Delayed Ejaculation it could be anything from minor intimacy issues to GAF's favorite malady porn desensitization. If its the former it gets better with time.

Reason I bring it up is because it usually take me a lot longer to cum as well. At first I had to finish myself off with my BF, but over time I was able to get more comfortable with him and now he can take care of me just fine :D

Don't let it get to you, I can guarantee your making him feel amazing lol
Hah, it's true.

That said, abstaining from masturbating for a few days should be able to overcome most those issues unless it is something really serious. You can speak to him about it and, if it's bothering him too, just gently suggest he hold off from helping himself a couple of days before you guys do the deed.
5 years :(

I think I brought up the "issue" earlier into the relationship and he told me something like "I get so turned on that I can't cum". I do think he's a bit obsessed with porn but I'm a porn addict too so I don't really think I can judge him on that. I've "caught" him downloading several movies/clips on a daily basis sometimes (when I've noticed something is slowing down my own downloads :P)

I rarely download porn nowadays, streaming sites are good enough for me. I've never said anything about it to him, but I guess he gets off often while watching porn since many times he doesn't when he's with me. Maybe abstaining would help him but I don't think it's a good solution on the long term since we don't have a regular sex schedule.

some guys don't have much sensitivity in their penises. While medium/large sized penises don't have a problem getting an ejaculation rather quickly, smaller or extra large penises will often find it harder to cum in a reasonable time frame.

The person must try an reach an orgasm through their imagination because the hand (or mouth, ass, vagina, whatever) isn't really doing much and takes some time...

This was my ex exactly. took forever and eventually it hurt the relationship because there was never a chance for a quicky, it was always the 2 hour long session and coming late at night, I wasn't always in the mood to work up a guy for that long. He would still be seeking the orgasm while I couln't even touch my own penis, as I would cum right away, so it was like 40 minutes of me bringing him there, as much as I could, but most of they time, they can't be helped...
I think he's slightly above average (a bit bigger than me). On the beginning, every time I felt the need to keep going until he came (with me cumming earlier most of the times) but as time went on I've been less inclined to do that, many times he gets just tired of masturbating (which is the way he always gets off,
with me licking his balls/ass
).

We do have quickies sometimes, but they always end when I cum. So it's not like I don't have an active sex life, it's just sort of incomplete for me.
I pointed it out to him a couple of weeks ago after we did it , though now I think it was not the best time to do it. He just told me that he does cum many times and he enjoys the sex.

I don't really think anything can be done. I do believe it could be hurting our relationship, sometimes I feel I'd just rather masturbate than having to go through an hour of trying to make him cum with no results :(
 
Oh boy!

I just had a weird revelation. I always thought your avatar was a squirrel until just then when I saw the eye. What have you done!?

*evil laughter*

BTW BeesEight, where does your avatar come from? It's a really cool photo, but the sole thought of a bee sitting on someone's eye (with its sting pointed at the eye) makes me shudder.

A friend sent it to me. Not sure where he found it but I thought it was pretty awesome (and yeah, a bit disturbing).
 
It is a point of concern, I think the best course of action is for him to slow down the porn intake and probably not jack off. If he does that you should see a difference next time you bone.

He doesn't have to do the 90 day endurance run gaffers are doing, but laying off the masturbation will help bring back a great deal of sensation. Then its just a matter of concentrating on what feel s good in order to acheive orgasm.

A good question for him is ask what exactly licking his ass/balls does for him while he jacks off. Is it adding to the extacy he's feeling or is it giving him something to focus on. This isn't a bad thing, but if its the latter then maybe abstaining is a good idea.
 
I do tend to prefer the female form (though dudes are nice too) but I actually don't care much for either set of genitals. Vaginas are kinda freaky like some gaping maw and dicks are okay I guess but I've never really thought about it much 'cause it's like "hey, it's a dick, not like I don't see that every day".

Some of them can be nice though I guess.
Vaginas freaky but I love them. Dicks are more normal, probably because I have one >_>

So I figured out I'm probably bi, not that it matters too much though since I'm in a stable relationship with a great man. Still feel weird saying it, even though its true. Anyway, um... hi >< I hope its okay if I join in.

Yay~ More girls!
 
So me and a coworker are becoming close friends really fast. The problem is that I have a crush on him. I recently told him that I was bi, and he's handled it really well, no awkwardness or anything. I'm used to being sexually attracted to some of my friends...but something is different here. I always want to be around him, think of him at night, when I wake up...it's freaking excessive and I can't make it stop. I know we will never be more than friends, but I can't help what I feel. I've considered distancing myself from him to try to get over it. We are coworkers btw, so no matter what I will have to interact with him on a daily basis. I think this is the first time I have felt like this, and don't know what to do.

Feels nice to vent, thanks for reading gaf :)

I think all gay/bi guys have gone through the same, only time helps, and distance. Whats interesting is that I look back to those crushes and they were just terrible! just thinking about it makes me shudder, so its ok, it will pass.

Whats worst is having a crush on your actually gay coworker, being the socially awkward guy I am even trying to say hello is an ordeal :(
 
CHEEZMO™;38199982 said:
Research for a piece of slash fiction I'm writing about some of you.
As someone who got really badly triggered by a friend who included me in a slash fanfic she wrote, please *please* talk to the people you want to insert before you use them, and find out what's OK with them before proceeding with using them as characters...
 
As someone who got really badly triggered by a friend who included me in a slash fanfic she wrote, please *please* talk to the people you want to insert before you use them, and find out what's OK with them before proceeding with using them as characters...

It was a joke. People actually do that? lol
 
I think all gay/bi guys have gone through the same, only time helps, and distance. Whats interesting is that I look back to those crushes and they were just terrible! just thinking about it makes me shudder, so its ok, it will pass.

Whats worst is having a crush on your actually gay coworker, being the socially awkward guy I am even trying to say hello is an ordeal :(
Thanks, I know it will pass, but it hurts, I want nothing more than to be with him
 
Hey gay/bi gaf!

I am bi and have been in a commited heterosexual relationship for years now ( I am 25). She knows I am bi, and I really see myself having children and spending my life with her because I love her etc etc you know the story. I find myslef attracted to men and women, but have never done anythong with a man.

The thing is, I am scared I would one day regret not living out my homosexual desires. I mean, it doesn't bother me right now because I am really satisfied with my straight sexuality. But I can't help but wonder: will I regret it?

To be clear, I do not want to be unfaithful to my girlfriend. Any advice from bi gaf?
 
I'm starting to think dragon's ban is perma given the number of perma's I'm hearing about this past week...

@ post above: If you don't want to be unfaithful and have the urge to fuck a man, simply tell her this. Either she'll understand your desire or she won't. And if she doesn't you're in another pickle.
 
Hey gay/bi gaf!

I am bi and have been in a commited heterosexual relationship for years now ( I am 25). She knows I am bi, and I really see myself having children and spending my life with her because I love her etc etc you know the story. I find myslef attracted to men and women, but have never done anythong with a man.

The thing is, I am scared I would one day regret not living out my homosexual desires. I mean, it doesn't bother me right now because I am really satisfied with my straight sexuality. But I can't help but wonder: will I regret it?

To be clear, I do not want to be unfaithful to my girlfriend. Any advice from bi gaf?

Don't cheat. The grass isn't always greener. If you really have the desire to be with a guy just once talk to your girlfriend about it. maybe she might be open to a 3some. IF there isn't a desire just wanting to experiment then maybe watch a gay porn.

Anyone read and/or recommend some gay books, novels?

I am thinking of buying these two.

Chulito: A Novel The guy on the cover looks cute and i haven't read a gay novel for quite a while now.

I have pre-ordered this. For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home I like Keith Boykin and some of the books he has written. One More River to Cross: Black & Gay in America was an excellent book and opened my eyes about racism in the gay community.

I read a lot of books by the late E. Lynn Harris Invisible Life and Just as I am were two of my favorite books growing up. Unfortunately a number of this later books were mostly about women dating DL men, which made me think Harris was writing for his majority female audience than his gay male ones.
 
The thing is, I am scared I would one day regret not living out my homosexual desires. I mean, it doesn't bother me right now because I am really satisfied with my straight sexuality. But I can't help but wonder: will I regret it?

To be clear, I do not want to be unfaithful to my girlfriend. Any advice from bi gaf?

As Seks said, talk to your girlfriend. First, it's always good to establish your sexuality in a relationship anyway. But it would be good to air your concerns as well. She may be understanding and allow you to act on them but even if she doesn't, discussing things with her will certainly make it better.

As for whether you will regret it or not - I don't think any of us can say. If it's something that you really want, possibly. Anyway, I know a couple of bi-couples who enjoy acting on those feelings with their partner and another person - so it never hurts to talk about it.



Why did dragon want a ban?
 
Like I always say: Jkjsdweorjgjrnvjsldnvlsdjvnflvjnff.
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Okay guys...

So I finally found out the truth about my best friend. We went clubbing tonight for just about 2 hours and were dancing our head off. He was texting this guy that I thought he got over who rejected him, and we saw him at the club. Then he tapped the guy on the shoulder and he just gave him this look and left. My friend felt really hurt but we stayed a bit longer and then left even though I wanted to stay longer and dance more (I know...I am so selfish) but on the way to the car I hugged him because he looked sad again. Then we got back to the car and on the way home I asked him flat out why was he still chasing other people when he already knows that I have feelings for him. He told me story of how he fell for this one guy and they hooked up, and he got the guy a bracelet because the guy had admired the watch and he felt a connection with him, but then he never heard from the guy ever again and how it hurt really bad.

He told me that he has feelings for me but he is afraid that if we were to get together and for some reason broke up, that he would lose me forever. He had tears in his eyes when he was telling me this so I know it was the truth. I told him that I understood and respect his wishes and that I will always be in his life no matter what. He even brought up the same pact about us getting together when we are in our 40s if we were single, and he told me he never made that promise with one of his old best friends, but only made it with me because he felt something.

For a while I was wondering why my friend didn't like me because I had kissed him a few weeks ago and he said he just thought of me as a friend, but in fact he does care about me. I would rather have him in my life forever than lose him if a relationship didn't work out between us...
ASKING FOR ADVICE...
However, I think I am always going to hope for us to be together someday. Has anyone else ever been in this situation (I mean I'm sure there are plenty of you) but I just don't know what to do. I am already with another guy but I just never felt a close connection with him like I do my best friend (hell I even told him about the kiss I shared with my friend and how I have feelings for him, and I decided to just keep trying to make it work with the guy I'm dating, even though he told me we can just be friends if I wanted...)
 
well it's 23:00 p.m. here in Bremen and everyone seems to have a nice time in the bars and so, I went for a walk after jogging and this city is really nice, here is a pic of the path I use to excercise.

normal_bremen-osterdeich-bild2.jpg


I think I finally understood why the date things wasn't working for me, I want friends. Normal, regular, asexual friends, just to talk and hang out, etc.
 
Yeah, this is how I feel too.

it's hard because the dating sites are for dating and everyone making contact with you will want sex or something. I'd behave the same to be honest, when I had a profile I'd click profiles of guys I like physically, not from potential friends...

it's easier to find sex than friends these days, sadly.
 
it's hard because the dating sites are for dating and everyone making contact with you will want sex or something. I'd behave the same to be honest, when I had a profile I'd click profiles of guys I like physically, not from potential friends...

it's easier to find sex than friends these days, sadly.

Eh?

Well, I've noticed on a number of the dating sites that there are options for just friendships so that's always an option. But, really, finding friends isn't particularly difficult since you can (in theory) befriend anyone. I mean, you've already mentioned you like jogging so find a website of enthusiast joggers in your area and see if you can't find someone to jog with.

Or join a sports league or get involved in other activities. I find, generally, that friendships come pretty quickly so long as you're engaged in some sort of event that will bring people together.
 
Eh?

Well, I've noticed on a number of the dating sites that there are options for just friendships so that's always an option. But, really, finding friends isn't particularly difficult since you can (in theory) befriend anyone. I mean, you've already mentioned you like jogging so find a website of enthusiast joggers in your area and see if you can't find someone to jog with.

Or join a sports league or get involved in other activities. I find, generally, that friendships come pretty quickly so long as you're engaged in some sort of event that will bring people together.

I always gave in my profile " Friendship ONLY" nobody gave a damn and only people who wanted something else asked me things.

Besides, friends are special, even if we tried, if there is nothing in common, it will probably won't turn into anything substantial.

I find the prospect of finding friends through a dating website kind of weird to be honest.

It's possible though, the time I was in Gayromeo, like 4 yours, I made 1 friend, 1 friend with whom I share the passion to play piano, he's a pianist himself and we really feel like it's an honest friendship, one not fueled by sex desires.

I am not sure if he likes me but I friendzone him at every chance possible, because I appreciate very much the friendship and sex would only destroy everything. He lives in Berlin, which is too far to meet with him regularly but I am glad he's there somewhere.
 
It's possible though, the time I was in Gayromeo, like 4 yours, I made 1 friend, 1 friend with whom I share the passion to play piano, he's a pianist himself and we really feel like it's an honest friendship, one not fueled by sex desires.

I am not sure if he likes me but I friendzone him at every chance possible, because I appreciate very much the friendship and sex would only destroy everything. He lives in Berlin, which is too far to meet with him regularly but I am glad he's there somewhere.

I didn't mean to say it's impossible :) But I think it'd be easier to find friends through group activities and stuff like that, instead of a dating sites where, well, most people go to find dates/hookups and not really for friends. It's great that you managed to meet someone like that through one of them though :)
 
it's hard because the dating sites are for dating and everyone making contact with you will want sex or something. I'd behave the same to be honest, when I had a profile I'd click profiles of guys I like physically, not from potential friends...

I've never actually tried online dating, not because I think it's a bad idea, but I've never really sought out new social relationships rather than just having them sort of passively happen. Though I haven't ever made a big move or anything that would necessitate it, either. My existing friends make more requests of my time than I actually feel up for, which makes me almost hesitant to acquire any more, unless I already find a particular person to be interesting.

it's easier to find sex than friends these days, sadly.

I think that makes sense in a way. Friendships are more of an investment of time and the payoff is less of a sure thing in some ways. Usually when getting to know someone it's always kind of awkward until your comfort zone expands to include them, and this takes effort, and sometimes it means some pain if one party decides it's not really something they want after all. It's easier to stick with one's existing friends, not that this is a proper justification but maybe it explains the tendency.
 
Question(s):

I was talking to a friend earlier this week and he told me that during his 7-year long marriage, he and his partner never tried anal. He cited the cumbersome prep process as one of his reasons, and after further discussion it got me thinking:

Is the douching/enema process really complicated and tedious?
Is it really that necessary --every single time-- to begin with?
Does performing anal without it get messy every single time?
Are all the side effects (abrasions, susceptibility to STDs/HIV, etc) justified or overblown?
Does it merely depend on the preference of the couple, or vary depending on penis size?

I've never had any bad experiences so far, but then again I never questioned or demanded anything. Searching on the internet yields results both for and against it, but I wanted to hear it directly from the people here.
 
Question(s):
Is it really that necessary --every single time-- to begin with?
Does performing anal without it get messy every single time?
I have never tried an enema in my life and I haven't had any... "muslides of fun", luckily. I just try to go the bathroom If I know there's a chance I'm getting laid :P.... speaking of which...

Gosh GAF, I don't know what to do (I kinda do but I'm trying to avoid it) ... I met this guy yesterday and um we ended up having sex. Anyway... he already thinks I'm going to be his boyfriend. When we were getting it on he was all "well, in a couple of days when you become my boyfriend.." and he started calling me "my love". Dafuq?! I mean we got a long and he's cool but it really freaked me out he would be all clingy after 4 hours of meeting me -_-. I guess I'll have to talk to him and tell him that I don't want a relationship right now and we can keep fooling around if he wants. He seems really excited about me and ugh, I hate to deal with this kind of stuff. I actually feel kinda bad about rejecting him.
 
I have never tried an enema in my life and I haven't had any... "muslides of fun", luckily. I just try to go the bathroom If I know there's a chance I'm getting laid :P.... speaking of which...

Gosh GAF, I don't know what to do (I kinda do but I'm trying to avoid it) ... I met this guy yesterday and um we ended up having sex. Anyway... he already thinks I'm going to be his boyfriend. When we were getting it on he was all "well, in a couple of days when you become my boyfriend.." and he started calling me "my love". Dafuq?! I mean we got a long and he's cool but it really freaked me out he would be all clingy after 4 hours of meeting me -_-. I guess I'll have to talk to him and tell him that I don't want a relationship right now and we can keep fooling around if he wants. He seems really excited about me and ugh, I hate to deal with this kind of stuff. I actually feel kinda bad about rejecting him.

sorry to hear that but that's the price to get laid, people can fall in love for you.

have you tried writing an email? you don't have to "reject", just make it clear that you are not ready for a relationship for the time being.
 
Gosh GAF, I don't know what to do (I kinda do but I'm trying to avoid it) ... I met this guy yesterday and um we ended up having sex. Anyway... he already thinks I'm going to be his boyfriend. When we were getting it on he was all "well, in a couple of days when you become my boyfriend.." and he started calling me "my love". Dafuq?! I mean we got a long and he's cool but it really freaked me out he would be all clingy after 4 hours of meeting me -_-. I guess I'll have to talk to him and tell him that I don't want a relationship right now and we can keep fooling around if he wants. He seems really excited about me and ugh, I hate to deal with this kind of stuff. I actually feel kinda bad about rejecting him.

I would run away really fast if somebody called me "my love" so soon after I met him. Setting things right as early as possible seems to be the best way to go.
 
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