Perfect.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Perfect.
Sigh.
Girl from last Tuesday and I went out again Friday. Couple quick drinks then dinner, then back to my place...
We started fooling around... and well, we started to have sex. A couple things: 1) I was a virgin before we did this, and 2) We talked and because we didn't wanna go to fast we agreed not to go all the way until a few dates later. Well, I didn't exactly give her the go ahead. She was on top of me and put me in her. No condom on, but I pulled out, etc. But still... I wasn't comfortable doing that.
We ended up having sex again that evening, cuz well, why not? I already lost my virginity and it turns out she had a condom in her purse.
So I'm at the gym today asking her how it's going and if we were still on for tomorrow and what do you know, this is her response: "I think we should just be friends right now.I'm so sorry... maybe it was just too fast for me (which is my fault)...
I feel pretty shitty right now.
Yeah tons of people get blown off, so this was the best possible way to have that happen.
Sigh.
Girl from last Tuesday and I went out again Friday. Couple quick drinks then dinner, then back to my place...
We started fooling around... and well, we started to have sex. A couple things: 1) I was a virgin before we did this, and 2) We talked and because we didn't wanna go to fast we agreed not to go all the way until a few dates later. Well, I didn't exactly give her the go ahead. She was on top of me and put me in her. No condom on, but I pulled out, etc. But still... I wasn't comfortable doing that.
We ended up having sex again that evening, cuz well, why not? I already lost my virginity and it turns out she had a condom in her purse.
So I'm at the gym today asking her how it's going and if we were still on for tomorrow and what do you know, this is her response: "I think we should just be friends right now.
I feel pretty shitty right now.
How old are you? Did she know you were a virgin? Maybe since it was your first time you werent that great and she took it wrong.
I'm 26, and she knew.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Ice cold.
Don't let her know it got to you though, just go with soultron's response. I'm sorry it happened like that for you man. You'll be okay though.
lastflowers
Banned
Isn't life so fulfilling?
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Reminds me of that other guy who didn't want to do anything with a girl and then got blamed for not going further, only this time the guy went through with it and still got dumped.
Oh well you can't predict these things.
Oh well you can't predict these things.
stn
Member
Entropia -
I see it as a win in my book! You got some good experience. Anyway, definitely do not contact her. My best advice would be to say, "Its hard for me to be friends like that, but thanks for the fun times.
" when/if she contacts you. I assume she would think you're hurt if you literally just stop replying immediately. You don't want her to think that.
I see it as a win in my book! You got some good experience. Anyway, definitely do not contact her. My best advice would be to say, "Its hard for me to be friends like that, but thanks for the fun times.
" when/if she contacts you. I assume she would think you're hurt if you literally just stop replying immediately. You don't want her to think that.Thanks guys,
Here's how the texts went down:
Her: Let's just be friends, etc.
Her: "You dont have to say,anything if you're mad..."
Me: "I'm not mad, a little disppointed."
Her: "We can still talk and even hang out..."
Me: "Yeah, that's cool"
~10 minutes later
Her: I hope you have a good night...."
Me: "Thanks, you too"
Not going to initiate any further contact. It's entirely possible we hang out through a mutual friend/her co-worker, but I'm leaving it.
Here's how the texts went down:
Her: Let's just be friends, etc.
Her: "You dont have to say,anything if you're mad..."
Me: "I'm not mad, a little disppointed."
Her: "We can still talk and even hang out..."
Me: "Yeah, that's cool"
~10 minutes later
Her: I hope you have a good night...."
Me: "Thanks, you too"
Not going to initiate any further contact. It's entirely possible we hang out through a mutual friend/her co-worker, but I'm leaving it.
NeOak
Member
Women are emotional. Don't expect explanations.
She banged you because she craved your innocence. It happens. You aren't the only person this has happened to. She took what she wanted and she doesn't need anything else. Just be glad you had fun
Don't know what being emotional has to do with anything. In all honesty, so am I. I have the emotions of a woman, I admit it. But I'm still rational and can explain myself. I have come to expect it though so it's not that bad, just annoying.
I've spoken to many...so many girls. Very few like being open and honest. They try to hide their real feelings at all costs. The younger they are, the more likely they are to shroud their true intentions and emotions. Not sure about older women, I work at a place where I mostly deal with teens to twenty somethings.
she'll probably text you soon wanting to hook up again if you do this. Sounds like she just wants to be single and sees you two going out again, soon, as heading into a relationship
so it'll be your call when she does text you
Yea I know thats how they are. It's stupid as hell. I love being in a relationship where you can openly talk about your issues with each other and fix it on the spot. Those were the days...
Stormtrooper30
Member
With college coming back in session, anyone have any advice on just meeting new people? Specifically girls, but I love talking to people. With my new job I've already met and had to remember around 300 names of people in the past couple weeks and I love the feeling. I want to keep it up.
Just do it.
TheSchwab_7
Member
Should I be mad if my girlfriend spent the night at her gay guy friends house who has straight roommates? She didnt even tell me. Her mom mentioned it to me earlier. they work together and she said she didnt want tp wake her parents
NeOak
Member
If you do it, its your funeral.
2 things:
1) I'm sure he's "gay"
2) $10 says she was in a gangbang with him and his roommates.
(or maybe not...)
Count Dookkake
Member
Don't jump to conclusions, but do bring it up.
went over to my friend's house cuz he wanted to show me some videos of his back packing trip in the Sierras. He didn't tell me he had his ex and her friend over as well.
Anyway...her friend was pretty nice looking...bubbly personality too! Was at complete ease and talked to her like i would with any girl I wasn't attracted to....she ended up asking for my number in the end....now to just put that in practice more often haha
Anyway...her friend was pretty nice looking...bubbly personality too! Was at complete ease and talked to her like i would with any girl I wasn't attracted to....she ended up asking for my number in the end....now to just put that in practice more often haha
Etrian Oddity
Member
SpectreFire
Member
Do you tell your her whenever you're crashing over at a buddy's place?
The ex of a friend is a no-go right? She was giving me a lot of attention the other night, and we get along quite well, but it just doesn't seem right since she dated one of my best friends (although they dated before me and my friend first met, and I'd never met this girl before a few nights ago). She texted me on Sunday morning, and I just ignored it. I know it's probably for the best, it's just that I've had my texts ignored before and I hate it, never thought I'd be the one doing it to someone else.
SpectreFire
Member
Every situation's different. If you're really interested, I would talk to your friend and see how he'd feel about if. If he's not comfortable, then just drop it, but I wouldn't immediately call it out of the question because she's your friend's ex.
manipulate
Member
Sigh, rejection sucks. Been talking to this girl from OKC, set up a date yesterday. Educated, intelligent, knows stuff about the world, articulate, quite pretty. Met her; she seemed very shy and a little awkward but I thought I managed to put her at ease. We talked for a couple of hours and I thought it was going well but she was a little guarded and sort of kept herself distanced from me the entire time? After two hours of chatting she suddenly wanted to leave rather abruptly, so we parted ways. After a while I texted her saying I had a nice time with her and would like to see her again, and I got the 'I'd like to be friends' message.
Well, whatever, but I'm a little confused so I ask her why she wasn't feeling it tonight? She says she's usually into 'artsy hipster types' and I'm more of a 'guy's guy'. Not even sure what the hell that means; I'm about as far from being a dudebro as one can get.
I'm quite used to rejection by now but I was caught rather by surprise this time. I can only assume she's not being honest and she didn't find me attractive in reality or something because that seems like an absurdly superficial reason.
Well, whatever, but I'm a little confused so I ask her why she wasn't feeling it tonight? She says she's usually into 'artsy hipster types' and I'm more of a 'guy's guy'. Not even sure what the hell that means; I'm about as far from being a dudebro as one can get.
I'm quite used to rejection by now but I was caught rather by surprise this time. I can only assume she's not being honest and she didn't find me attractive in reality or something because that seems like an absurdly superficial reason.
CF_Fighter
Member
So something interesting happened tonight. This is a bit of a long story too, so you might want to fix yourself a snack.
This story starts out over 10 years ago back in high school. I met a girl back then, she was dating another guy at the time. I always found her very attractive and very interesting. After she broke up with him we went on a couple dates, but having no game in high school I never made a move and we became good friends. She asked me to take her to her prom one year and I did. We've become extremely good friends since then and always hang out when she is in town. She went to college out of state so I never had any inkling to get anything going with her, not to mention I felt like I was probably friendzoned anyway.
But, there was always the thought in the back of my head that if anything changed, like she moved back to the area, I would at least attempt to ask her out. As we've become older that chance never came, and while I still thought she could be a great relationship I more and more saw her becoming one of my best friends. She came down a few years ago with a guy who they were truly in love with each other and I saw them as probably getting married and it made me happy to see her that happy. Sadly he had a massive brain hemorrhage and she was in his room when they pulled the plug. It wrecked her and she was devastated for a couple years.
Fast-forward to a couple weeks ago. She is in town and I go over one night and hang out with her and two of her friends. By this time I've pretty much decided there is no possible future there, she's always said how much she loves the city she is in and never wants to comeback to where she grew up. Well something changed over the last few months. She says she plans on coming back to the state in the next couple years and going to get her Master's degree. She also seemed different than last time, she was very much "in my space" and was continually touching me and I was reciprocating. It struck me as off because she had never been that "hands-on" before. We hung out another night and she was the same way. Hell she even playfully grabbed my chest when I made a joke about buff guys and tight t-shirts and what if I looked the same way. It seemed like she was more into me this time than any other time over the last few years. Not to mention she just kept saying how I was one of her closest and greatest friends here and how she "loved" me. Now I know that the "I love you" line in that instance could have meant close friends, almost like siblings "love".
Now we come to tonight where I got some clarification on the matter. I was hanging out with one of the other girls from that meet-up who lives in my town. I had even taken a liking to her because she shared a lot of my same interests and found me really interesting. She was really excited about hanging out tonight. We got on the topic of this other girl and she said that as they were turning in for bed a couple weeks back when we all met up she commented to my close friend about how cool I was and my friend's response was "Oh yeah, he's a wonderful guy." and all those types of statements. This girl tonight told me that she got the very strong feeling that my friend "loves me, but is afraid to love me".
So now I'm stuck with that. Some of my indicators are going off saying to try and pursue something with this close friend, but also we've become such close friends over how long we've known each other that there isn't anything there beyond simply being close friends. She is coming into town again maybe on Labor Day weekend, if not then she'll be here at Thanksgiving. I might also get a chance to see her in October as my sister goes to school in the same city and it is her 21st birthday so my family will probably be going up to see her and celebrate.
Basically I'm caught between going for it or just keeping it as good friends. I genuinely care for this girl and I would be fine if she says she doesn't see me that way because I've been living that way for like 7 years now. I just don't want her to feel like she can't be my friend anymore because I tried taking our relationship to that level.
This story starts out over 10 years ago back in high school. I met a girl back then, she was dating another guy at the time. I always found her very attractive and very interesting. After she broke up with him we went on a couple dates, but having no game in high school I never made a move and we became good friends. She asked me to take her to her prom one year and I did. We've become extremely good friends since then and always hang out when she is in town. She went to college out of state so I never had any inkling to get anything going with her, not to mention I felt like I was probably friendzoned anyway.
But, there was always the thought in the back of my head that if anything changed, like she moved back to the area, I would at least attempt to ask her out. As we've become older that chance never came, and while I still thought she could be a great relationship I more and more saw her becoming one of my best friends. She came down a few years ago with a guy who they were truly in love with each other and I saw them as probably getting married and it made me happy to see her that happy. Sadly he had a massive brain hemorrhage and she was in his room when they pulled the plug. It wrecked her and she was devastated for a couple years.
Fast-forward to a couple weeks ago. She is in town and I go over one night and hang out with her and two of her friends. By this time I've pretty much decided there is no possible future there, she's always said how much she loves the city she is in and never wants to comeback to where she grew up. Well something changed over the last few months. She says she plans on coming back to the state in the next couple years and going to get her Master's degree. She also seemed different than last time, she was very much "in my space" and was continually touching me and I was reciprocating. It struck me as off because she had never been that "hands-on" before. We hung out another night and she was the same way. Hell she even playfully grabbed my chest when I made a joke about buff guys and tight t-shirts and what if I looked the same way. It seemed like she was more into me this time than any other time over the last few years. Not to mention she just kept saying how I was one of her closest and greatest friends here and how she "loved" me. Now I know that the "I love you" line in that instance could have meant close friends, almost like siblings "love".
Now we come to tonight where I got some clarification on the matter. I was hanging out with one of the other girls from that meet-up who lives in my town. I had even taken a liking to her because she shared a lot of my same interests and found me really interesting. She was really excited about hanging out tonight. We got on the topic of this other girl and she said that as they were turning in for bed a couple weeks back when we all met up she commented to my close friend about how cool I was and my friend's response was "Oh yeah, he's a wonderful guy." and all those types of statements. This girl tonight told me that she got the very strong feeling that my friend "loves me, but is afraid to love me".
So now I'm stuck with that. Some of my indicators are going off saying to try and pursue something with this close friend, but also we've become such close friends over how long we've known each other that there isn't anything there beyond simply being close friends. She is coming into town again maybe on Labor Day weekend, if not then she'll be here at Thanksgiving. I might also get a chance to see her in October as my sister goes to school in the same city and it is her 21st birthday so my family will probably be going up to see her and celebrate.
Basically I'm caught between going for it or just keeping it as good friends. I genuinely care for this girl and I would be fine if she says she doesn't see me that way because I've been living that way for like 7 years now. I just don't want her to feel like she can't be my friend anymore because I tried taking our relationship to that level.
I would keep her a friend. If it was "meant to be", she will pursue. If not, then you still have a friend.
CF_Fighter
Member
Exactly, and I can totally undertsand why she would have trepidation if she wanted a relationship that way. The whole previous boyfriend dying and her being there weighed heavy on her and with my Cystic Fibrosis I know I will die, she knows I will die. When that will happen I don't know, but she probably feels like she doesn't have thet strength to deal with it. I totally understand that and respect her for it. Your basically dating a ticking timebomb with me and it takes a special kind of person to shack up with anyone who has a terminal illness.
I think I made a mistake with this chick I've been going back and forth with, so lay it on me gaf.
Brief history: Lots of flirting, innuendo, etc. Gives all the signs of interest / attraction. Ups / downs in the time I've known her, every time I bring up another girl, or someone I briefly was hitting on or bring up the ex, she goes all cold and distant. Always asks me if I'm seeing anyone, etc stuff like that.
This is one of those, I've been attracted to this girl for a while chicks, so she's always been in the back of my mind as a potential, and recently I "confessed", as in I told her I "really liked her" and know she has her situation and I have my own and I just wanted to put it out there. I didn't know what to expect, etc. There are reasons I had to approach it this way, and it wasn't my first instinct by far, but I don't want to get into them, but it would have been impossible to go about this in a smooth, let things happen way, and what's done is done now.
So she said she was flattered... and I haven't heard from her since, this was (really recent) as in 2 days ago. We aren't on a daily or even semi daily contact, so it's not unusual, but what say you gaf, crash and burn, wait it out, contact her in a week? Would like to know what she thinks about it, but I don't want to apply any sort of pressure or anything. I done effed up I feel.
Brief history: Lots of flirting, innuendo, etc. Gives all the signs of interest / attraction. Ups / downs in the time I've known her, every time I bring up another girl, or someone I briefly was hitting on or bring up the ex, she goes all cold and distant. Always asks me if I'm seeing anyone, etc stuff like that.
This is one of those, I've been attracted to this girl for a while chicks, so she's always been in the back of my mind as a potential, and recently I "confessed", as in I told her I "really liked her" and know she has her situation and I have my own and I just wanted to put it out there. I didn't know what to expect, etc. There are reasons I had to approach it this way, and it wasn't my first instinct by far, but I don't want to get into them, but it would have been impossible to go about this in a smooth, let things happen way, and what's done is done now.
So she said she was flattered... and I haven't heard from her since, this was (really recent) as in 2 days ago. We aren't on a daily or even semi daily contact, so it's not unusual, but what say you gaf, crash and burn, wait it out, contact her in a week? Would like to know what she thinks about it, but I don't want to apply any sort of pressure or anything. I done effed up I feel.
Update on my situation with my ex-girlfriend of four years. I have not contacted her by text or phone since I left town and moved in with my brother. Unfortunately we are on a lease together for another couple of months with bills and such and I did leave a few things there. Today I contacted her by e-mail not because I wanted to, although I do still miss her some, but because we have to sort out bills and our lease and such. I was cordial and so was she but I kept it brief and to the point. I honestly think I'm past the sad stage and I'm kind of bitter and frustrated right now but I am making every effort to move on properly. It's just frustrating that I know I will have to maintain some sort of contact via email until at least October or November.
If only I had a car...
So not treat it any different than if she wasn't working, then? Fair enough.
CrushDance
Banned
Quick advice needed her guys.
There's this girl at a store that I've seen twice now. The first time we made eye contact and it seemed to me that she was dancing into my head. Anyway, I went back yesterday and talked to her, introduced myself while buying some stuff and said bye. I wanted to ask her for her number yesterday but didn't.
Reason why is I don't want to put her on the spot or make it awkward since it's at her place of work. Would it be fine if I left a cute little card or something telling her to call me sometime? Since she does know me a little now? Or should I just wait till next time and ask her out in person?
Thanks
There's this girl at a store that I've seen twice now. The first time we made eye contact and it seemed to me that she was dancing into my head. Anyway, I went back yesterday and talked to her, introduced myself while buying some stuff and said bye. I wanted to ask her for her number yesterday but didn't.
Reason why is I don't want to put her on the spot or make it awkward since it's at her place of work. Would it be fine if I left a cute little card or something telling her to call me sometime? Since she does know me a little now? Or should I just wait till next time and ask her out in person?
Thanks
What? No, no cards
That sounds really weird. Give her your number next time you see her. Tell her to shoot you a text *about that thing* whatever that is. If you bring up something fun you're planning on doing, and she sounds interested in that, invite her to join you sometime, and give her your number.hawkshockey11
Banned
Car started falling apart so I decided to see if I could cash in on the money my ex owes me still. Went to her house and I guess I missed her by about 4 hours as she went back to school....
Not sure if I dodged a bullet or not. Probably dodged a bullet since we haven't met or talked since January and I didn't take the breakup too well. I am sure her family thinks I am crazy though.
Not sure if I dodged a bullet or not. Probably dodged a bullet since we haven't met or talked since January and I didn't take the breakup too well. I am sure her family thinks I am crazy though.
SniperHunter
Banned
So at the library again, this chick was giving me the signals. But the problem is, she is studying to become a doctor and I am a nobody studying high school calculus (I plan on going to university next year). Due to the degree gap I just shrugged her off completely. Good move or bad move?
I mean if I go up to her, education will come into discussion. What am I suppose to say? "Lol I am learning grade 12 calculus, nice to meet you, oh and you are trying to become a doc! great!' Will that be self humiliation on my part? Feels bad man....
edit: I won't be talking to her again, cause I blew all my chances yesterday. Just a question on, how to approach super hot intelligent women!
BTW this developed over a period of 3 or 4 months, more recently she started glancing, smiling at me etc.
I mean if I go up to her, education will come into discussion. What am I suppose to say? "Lol I am learning grade 12 calculus, nice to meet you, oh and you are trying to become a doc! great!' Will that be self humiliation on my part? Feels bad man....
edit: I won't be talking to her again, cause I blew all my chances yesterday. Just a question on, how to approach super hot intelligent women!
BTW this developed over a period of 3 or 4 months, more recently she started glancing, smiling at me etc.
Count Dookkake
Member
You understand that you are doing this to yourself, right?
Doing what?
Count Dookkake
Member
The friendzoning and the pain.
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