FalsettoVibe
Member
I agree. Hilarious and truthful.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
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I agree. Hilarious and truthful.
Question: I tried to date a co-worker about two months ago. About a month ago I gave up on the idea and went after another person outside work. Last weekend my co-worker dated someone and had sex with him. I know that info but I don't think she knows that I know.
This past week I've week I've been busy and haven't talk to her. She not only seems frustrated at that, she is talking to people that I normally talk to trying to get info about me. She also hugged me because my work sent me out of town for a week and told me to send her a message on facebook.
What's the deal here?
This past week I've week I've been busy and haven't talk to her. She not only seems frustrated at that, she is talking to people that I normally talk to trying to get info about me. She also hugged me because my work sent me out of town for a week and told me to send her a message on facebook.
What's the deal here?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
Watch that video a few posts up.
I think it's mostly misogynist and unfairly generalizes, but there is a lot of truth to getting results when you show disinterest or appear to have balls.
This. She's trying to play you.
Pollux
Member
pgtl, how did you find out about what she's doing with other dudes? If you're seeking this information out by asking people, stop. It's not good for you and people will tell her you're asking about her.
If you've not been asking about her, great. Either way, it's high time you stop giving her attention and start to move on.
If you've not been asking about her, great. Either way, it's high time you stop giving her attention and start to move on.
Devolution
Member
Some people, men and women alike, love the attention of people and won't explicitly show interest or date them. It's a way for them to have someone waiting in the wings.
Yeah I agree but she is dating someone and having sex with him so what exactly does she want from me? She can't have her cake and eat it to.
Also I'm trying to get another woman. Why should I backtrack?
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
You stopped showing interest. You've never wondered why someone stopped being interested in you?
The classic GAF advice of "ignore her" applies here. You're more likely to get interest from ignoring a person and acting better than them to show value than to be too into them.
Devolution
Member
The fact that you're asking about her or letting others tell you about it means you're showing some interest in her. And it's probably getting back to her. You're serving the cake whether you intend to or not.
Of course I have. Should I message this woman on Facebook or continue to ignore her?
I don't want her to think she can wrap me around her finger. I also wonder if she feels guilty about having sex with the guy. Her Facebook wall had an unusual post about trying to correct your faults, evaluating yourself, and making changes God wants you to change. I'm wondering if she feels guilty.
Huh? I never asked anyone about her. I found out because I overheard her talk about the date and tell a co-worker what she did. I never talked to anyone about it.
This is not the first time I come across a woman who doesn't want me to know she is in a relationship. I don't get it and like to know for future reference.
Devolution
Member
Possibly because they don't want you to think they're sluts.
Vermillion
Banned
Devolution
Member
Sometimes women don't want to make their relationships or sexual escapades known because it pisses dudes off? Just check the last thread (I think it was about the definition of slut or how many lovers someone has had) and women are judged for the amount of sexual partners they have.
Vermillion
Banned
Oh, I thought that he was talking about a particular relationship, like girls being ashamed to say that they have boyfriends.
Devolution
Member
Just giving him some other perspective. It might not be that they're manipulative but that they don't really want to advertise it to other guys.
She told another man about her date. She just didn't want me to find out.
Devolution
Member
Okay, maybe she thinks you'd judge her. Maybe she has a better friendship with that guy. I can't really help you out here.
Vermillion
Banned
Wait, just a date, right? Perhaps (just perhaps) you're a dating prospect. I don't know - people date multiple people at the same time.
Frankly though I kind of concluded that rather than worry about getting a date I should work on my social skills and have fun.
This issue interests me because this is the third time I've come accross that I've tried to date. Each woman seemed very unconfortable with me knowing they are dating someone. In each scenirio I had already moved on so I never understood why women either go cold on me or don't want me to know they are dating someone.
Vermillion
Banned
Again, only thing I can things I can think of are:
1) They like you
2) They don't want to hurt your feelings (can follow after 1)
3) As Devo said, they just might not be as comfortable with you - they may not be actively hiding that they're dating
And you don't necessarily have to stop dating to work on your social skills. They help, but not having them doesn't exclude you from being able to date.
On the other hand, if you have mental issues, you should work them out first.
I need to learn to stop being sensitive and that video above really helped. I think I won't message her on Facebook until end of the week. I just find it fun making her squirm.
Yeah I'm bad.
FalsettoVibe
Member
I'm too friendly to be an asshole
Don't confuse being friendly with doing everything she wants.
If you don't (not you specifically but guys) stop this mindset once you hit 20, you're just going to kick yourself in the balls.
People have sex, their penis goes in things. Get over it.
I'm in a strong, loving relationship but I go to the club alone to stare at stupid girls in small dresses. It's my idea of a good night out.
Well she does have you wrapped around, because you care way too much about this situation. Why are you speculating if somebody is feeling guilty about having sex? Sorry dude, that's creepy.
Stop caring about this chick.
I don't. Thing is, beeing friendly leads to beeing friendzoned. At least, in my current circle. I don't think women from Québec differ greatly from other north american women, but they definitely fit the "stereotype" of going for the douchebag type while endlessly complaining about them
Etrian Oddity
Member
This has been true in my experience too. Of course there are girls who actually appreciate friendliness, but they are the extreme minority in the age range 18-27. It's as if you must be a dick to establish you have one, not just show them that you have a backbone. Quiet confidence is all but ignored.I don't. Thing is, beeing friendly leads to beeing friendzoned. At least, in my current circle. I don't think women from Québec differ greatly from other north american women, but they definitely fit the "stereotype" of going for the douchebag type while endlessly complaining about them
Dude, just stop. Really. This is getting weird. "Making her squirm?" Come on dude.
I don't know what the purpose of your engagement with this woman is anymore. Do you want to make her feel bad for wanting to enjoy herself with someone else? Do you think you still have a shot? Are you just wanting to be friends?
You really need to make up your mind, because even if it's the latter, that's not what "friends" do. You need to move on and stop planning when you're going to start the attention drip again.
By alone I mean alone. If she is having a good time with her boyfriend it's not being alone.
ok.
you people say "oh, women just want attention" or "I just enjoy looking at beatiful women" but some night chemistry may become stronger than all these little barriers you have built inside your head.
Good point
I'm mad not because she went out with someone. I'm mad because she wants me to chase her while she dates whoever she wants. I'm not worried about who she dates but I don't like that she talks to co-workers and tries her hardest to get me to be jealous.
Before I left left Friday, I told her I've been busy and basically tried to get the point across that I'm focusing on getting things done at work.
Yeah squirm is bad choice of words but I don't want to go after her lima slobbering fool.
I've seen this issue with other women and don't want to make the same mistakes I felt I made then.
I'veseen this
Yes, don't expect much. Online dating is all about looks and having no visible flaws.
You'd think online dating sites would open you to more dating opportunities, it's just not the case. For whatever reason, people tend to be a lot more picky about who they discuss with online than in real life.
Edit : pgtl_10 You sound like someone who cares too much, and the way you speak about her is prety disturbing.
NeOak
Member
You should have just made the OP and and answer to the advice people here gave you. The other posts show that you care about the attention this woman is trying to get from you.
DO NOT CONTACT EVER.
Seriously, though my advice is only 4 words, it is in no less good.
Seriously man, this girl wants to play you like a violin. Walk..Please for the love...walk and never respond to a call, text, email, or anything.
Anyone got any advice on how to approach someone while they're working? There's this girl at a place I've been going to for lunch fairly often the past one and a half month who's pretty and very friendly. While I'm both terrible at gauging interest from others in myself and realize that it's her job to be nice to the customers, I figure it can't hurt to at least put the idea out there to meet up sometime.
Unfortunately it's mostly a take-away place and also quite busy during lunch hours so I'm having a hard time figuring out how to handle this. I've also been picking up breakfast there a couple of times per week, but I've only seen here there once in the morning, and she was in the back unfortunately.
So yeah, any advice would be appreciated. I'm not completely sold on the idea of possibly inconveniencing someone while they're at work, but I'd hate to let any opportunity slip by.
Unfortunately it's mostly a take-away place and also quite busy during lunch hours so I'm having a hard time figuring out how to handle this. I've also been picking up breakfast there a couple of times per week, but I've only seen here there once in the morning, and she was in the back unfortunately.
So yeah, any advice would be appreciated. I'm not completely sold on the idea of possibly inconveniencing someone while they're at work, but I'd hate to let any opportunity slip by.
Try to figure out when she gets off work, then one day punch holes in her tires. She will need a ride home. The rest is up to you.
Omegasquash
Member
"Hey, are you free this Friday to go do ___________ with me? You're really cute and I think we'd have fun together."
Or something like that.
Count Dookkake
Member
I have a problem.
I recently hooked up an inexperienced friend with another friend who is beyond experienced. I thought this was a good idea, because the guy seemed like he needed to get over some pain in his past, and she is a fun girl. I specifically told her to be nice to him. I figured that, since me and my buddy were visiting her town, it would not get awkward if it did not work out.
Now his FB profile says "in a relationship," hers does not.
I have a feeling this will get ugly.
I recently hooked up an inexperienced friend with another friend who is beyond experienced. I thought this was a good idea, because the guy seemed like he needed to get over some pain in his past, and she is a fun girl. I specifically told her to be nice to him. I figured that, since me and my buddy were visiting her town, it would not get awkward if it did not work out.
Now his FB profile says "in a relationship," hers does not.
I have a feeling this will get ugly.
You will do anything for a laugh won't you? This practical joke of yours is just too good man, hats off to you.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
Sigh.
Girl from last Tuesday and I went out again Friday. Couple quick drinks then dinner, then back to my place...
We started fooling around... and well, we started to have sex. A couple things: 1) I was a virgin before we did this, and 2) We talked and because we didn't wanna go to fast we agreed not to go all the way until a few dates later. Well, I didn't exactly give her the go ahead. She was on top of me and put me in her. No condom on, but I pulled out, etc. But still... I wasn't comfortable doing that.
We ended up having sex again that evening, cuz well, why not? I already lost my virginity and it turns out she had a condom in her purse.
So I'm at the gym today asking her how it's going and if we were still on for tomorrow and what do you know, this is her response: "I think we should just be friends right now. I'm so sorry... maybe it was just too fast for me (which is my fault)... ... I'm really sorry..."
I feel pretty shitty right now.
Girl from last Tuesday and I went out again Friday. Couple quick drinks then dinner, then back to my place...
We started fooling around... and well, we started to have sex. A couple things: 1) I was a virgin before we did this, and 2) We talked and because we didn't wanna go to fast we agreed not to go all the way until a few dates later. Well, I didn't exactly give her the go ahead. She was on top of me and put me in her. No condom on, but I pulled out, etc. But still... I wasn't comfortable doing that.
We ended up having sex again that evening, cuz well, why not? I already lost my virginity and it turns out she had a condom in her purse.
So I'm at the gym today asking her how it's going and if we were still on for tomorrow and what do you know, this is her response: "I think we should just be friends right now.
I'm so sorry... maybe it was just too fast for me (which is my fault)... ... I'm really sorry..."I feel pretty shitty right now.
Blessing in disguise: she actually told you she doesn't want to continue rather than giving you the cold shoulder or not responding.
I'd not pester her further, but I'd also not do the "friends" thing because it'll only hurt you in the long run.
Should probably just say something to the effect of, "Hey, at least we had fun. All the best and maybe I'll see you around in the future."
I'd not pester her further, but I'd also not do the "friends" thing because it'll only hurt you in the long run.
Should probably just say something to the effect of, "Hey, at least we had fun. All the best and maybe I'll see you around in the future."
Sigh.
Girl from last Tuesday and I went out again Friday. Couple quick drinks then dinner, then back to my place...
We started fooling around... and well, we started to have sex. A couple things: 1) I was a virgin before we did this, and 2) We talked and because we didn't wanna go to fast we agreed not to go all the way until a few dates later. Well, I didn't exactly give her the go ahead. She was on top of me and put me in her. No condom on, but I pulled out, etc. But still... I wasn't comfortable doing that.
We ended up having sex again that evening, cuz well, why not? I already lost my virginity and it turns out she had a condom in her purse.
So I'm at the gym today asking her how it's going and if we were still on for tomorrow and what do you know, this is her response: "I think we should just be friends right now.
I feel pretty shitty right now.
Im sorry to hear that dude. Geesh. As always, if you have feelings for this girl, then you can't be her friend. Go no contact.
Second, and really focus on this, you must believe that your speed is right for you. If she didn't want that...wanted to force you to do something you didn't want to do...to heck with her. Seriously,
She wants something you arent/weren't willing to give. So there is that.
You will be okay man. Just go NO CONTACT...she will probably text you anyway.
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