So who gets to keep the Barbara Streisand collection?
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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
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So who gets to keep the Barbara Streisand collection?
Hey, since he's banned, I'll keep this thing going
See, in my case, you're right that I don't love the idea of being associated with the community. I'm not sure if has to do with masculinity, but it seems to me carnavalesque, silly and just not me. This is not something I "built", I'm genuinely not interested in this kind of "atmospheres", masculine, feminine or otherwise. It's true that from a quick look at a profile you can get this particular "feel" from someone, and it's not that it's negative, but I think it's perfectly okay to look for people that have more things in common with you. I've been online-rejected for not drinking and not clubbing, so it swings both ways and I'm okay with that. Still, I've been pretty open minded in the past, and I can tell from experience the best dates are with people who are more similar to you. I have more fun talking about games and animals than talking about fashion or Lady Gaga - again, because I'm not naturally in love with fashion or Lady Gaga. Nothing to do with those thing being feminine, since I'm into cooking and diabetes-inducing J-Pop.
Hey, since he's banned, I'll keep this thing going
See, in my case, you're right that I don't love the idea of being associated with the community. I'm not sure if has to do with masculinity, but it seems to me carnavalesque, silly and just not me. This is not something I "built", I'm genuinely not interested in this kind of "atmospheres", masculine, feminine or otherwise. It's true that from a quick look at a profile you can get this particular "feel" from someone, and it's not that it's negative, but I think it's perfectly okay to look for people that have more things in common with you. I've been online-rejected for not drinking and not clubbing, so it swings both ways and I'm okay with that. Still, I've been pretty open minded in the past, and I can tell from experience the best dates are with people who are more similar to you. I have more fun talking about games and animals than talking about fashion or Lady Gaga - again, because I'm not naturally in love with fashion or Lady Gaga. Nothing to do with those thing being feminine, since I'm into cooking and diabetes-inducing J-Pop.
I don't see any problem with that. I don't think there's anything unreasonable about looking for people who share similar interests, and thus not going after people with more "feminine" interests because those things don't also interest you. Stabbie dug himself into a ditch because he claimed to like people with different interests but then had an entire laundry list of what he didn't want a man to be interested in.
Larson Conway
Member
Just dropping this by for Diseased Yak.
Happy for you!
Happy for you!
SpaceBridge
Member
Congrats Yak.
Question though: Did you now realize you were gay from when you were younger?
Second question: Was there a trigger event that caused you to come to terms with it?
Question though: Did you now realize you were gay from when you were younger?
Second question: Was there a trigger event that caused you to come to terms with it?
Diseased Yak
Gold Member
Woah, congrats.
I presume it must have been a tough decision for you. May I ask, what pushed you to finally come out? Was there a particular reason, or was that a simple "that's it, I have to do that!" kind of situation?
And welcome
Honestly, it had just built over time to where I could no longer ignore the way I was.
And I apologize about the "rampant gayery" comment, I was just being sarcastic!
Yup I totally realize now that I've been gay all my life, I mean aware of it. It was just a matter of suppressing it, for lack of a better term, for most all of my life until now.
I told my wife it was akin to having a song stuck in your head that you occasionally hum but only rarely realize you were in fact humming it. If that makes sense. I mean to say that yes, I knew I was attracted to men, but just kinda paid it no mind and went about being the good little Christian boy that I was raised to be. It's hard to explain, but that's how it was, for me. Until I hit around age 35 or so (I'm 37 now, be 38 in November). There was no trigger per se, it was just time I guess. I was getting ever-increasingly dissatisfied with my marriage, our sex life (which was never very fulfilling to me at all, mainly because, uh, I really do NOT like vaginas, ewww) was in shambles and had been for a while, and I was just sorta lost. I started seeing a therapist, who never even suggested that perhaps I was gay, but slowly but surely I started realizing what was going on.
It's all so brand new now. Hard to process, in fact. I alluded to this earlier but I feel like I have so much on my plate otherwise (started a new job a week ago, my dream job in fact) and now I have to plan for a divorce, that I just haven't had time to really let it all soak in.
I know it will someday, but I think it'll be a while.
And I apologize about the "rampant gayery" comment, I was just being sarcastic!
I figured. I just think it was a funny phrase.
Hey, since he's banned, I'll keep this thing going
See, in my case, you're right that I don't love the idea of being associated with the community. I'm not sure if has to do with masculinity, but it seems to me carnavalesque, silly and just not me. This is not something I "built", I'm genuinely not interested in this kind of "atmospheres", masculine, feminine or otherwise. It's true that from a quick look at a profile you can get this particular "feel" from someone, and it's not that it's negative, but I think it's perfectly okay to look for people that have more things in common with you. I've been online-rejected for not drinking and not clubbing, so it swings both ways and I'm okay with that. Still, I've been pretty open minded in the past, and I can tell from experience the best dates are with people who are more similar to you. I have more fun talking about games and animals than talking about fashion or Lady Gaga - again, because I'm not naturally in love with fashion or Lady Gaga. Nothing to do with those thing being feminine, since I'm into cooking and diabetes-inducing J-Pop.
I tend to agree. For me it's not a matter of being afraid of association with mainstream gay culture, like you said it's just the plain simple fact that I don't personally identify with many aspects of it. It's never been some deep-seeded rejection based on the fear of 'trading away' my masculinity or something.
Everyone's different, and everyone knows what they like (hell, that's half this thread's basis for discussion and debate). Romantically speaking, in the same way I would avoid certain types of women for their interests and personality, the same goes for men. What Stabbie expressed wasn't inherently wrong, but as lunch said the way he went about it was really poor.
And Yak that's nuts, congratulations. Are you going to be coming out to your parents?
SpaceBridge
Member
Honestly, it had just built over time to where I could no longer ignore the way I was.
And I apologize about the "rampant gayery" comment, I was just being sarcastic!
Yup I totally realize now that I've been gay all my life, I mean aware of it. It was just a matter of suppressing it, for lack of a better term, for most all of my life until now.
I told my wife it was akin to having a song stuck in your head that you occasionally hum but only rarely realize you were in fact humming it. If that makes sense. I mean to say that yes, I knew I was attracted to men, but just kinda paid it no mind and went about being the good little Christian boy that I was raised to be. It's hard to explain, but that's how it was, for me. Until I hit around age 35 or so (I'm 37 now, be 38 in November). There was no trigger per se, it was just time I guess. I was getting ever-increasingly dissatisfied with my marriage, our sex life (which was never very fulfilling to me at all, mainly because, uh, I really do NOT like vaginas, ewww) was in shambles and had been for a while, and I was just sorta lost. I started seeing a therapist, who never even suggested that perhaps I was gay, but slowly but surely I started realizing what was going on.
It's all so brand new now. Hard to process, in fact. I alluded to this earlier but I feel like I have so much on my plate otherwise (started a new job a week ago, my dream job in fact) and now I have to plan for a divorce, that I just haven't had time to really let it all soak in.
I know it will someday, but I think it'll be a while.
So in 17 years of marriage and 38 years youve never has a male to male experience?
Diseased Yak
Gold Member
Eventually, but I'm in no hurry to do so.
SpaceBridge said:
I didn't say that
But I've never cheated on my wife. *cough*college*cough*But I definitely suppressed it for the most part.
SpaceBridge
Member
Eventually, but I'm in no hurry to do so.
I didn't say that
But I definitely suppressed it for the most part.
Well goodluck Yak.
xxczx
Member
You're awesome! There's so many married men that cheat on their wife's because they're bi or something.Eventually, but I'm in no hurry to do so.
I didn't say that
But I definitely suppressed it for the most part.
MyAbsolution
Member
Grats and welcome to the dark side. Super glad your wife was accepting and you two can remain friends
Question about your parents: you mentioned being raised super christian? does that mean they probably would react harshly? Do you have any brothers/sisters? Can always test the family waters with them first.
This was my main reason for asking. Curious if despite being raised in a conservative household whether or not the parents may have mellowed out over time with regard to certain views (as I've known to happen with some people).
Diseased Yak
Gold Member
Grats and welcome to the dark side. Super glad your wife was accepting and you two can remain friends
Question about your parents: you mentioned being raised super christian? does that mean they probably would react harshly? Do you have any brothers/sisters? Can always test the family waters with them first.
I was definitely raised super Christian, and by that I mean in a Pentecostal church, which for those that aren't hip to Protestant denominations, particularly in the Southern USA, that means I was routinely subjected to fire & brimstone proclaimations about how I was going to burn in Hell for the tiniest of grievances. "HomoSAXYULLS" were to lead the vanguard into the fiery depths of Satan's kingdom, along with abortion doctors, Hindus, Buddhists, women who wore make-up, and generally anyone not a white, God-fearing, Amerikuh-lovin' Christian. I seriously went to saw-dust-floored "revivals" and attended church 3 times per week, with family Bible study on the off days.
Then, my parents got older, as did I, and things mellowed. Nowadays my dad doesn't attend church at all, and while my mother remains devout, she is a loving person.
As to how they will react, I believe my dad will react badly. So much so that I really, really don't want to tell him. We don't talk much at all as it is, and basically see each other only on Xmas/Thanksgiving, so honestly it wouldn't change much if he did disown me, but I don't want that to happen nonetheless.
My mother I think will be ok with it. I have two younger sisters who are very much NOT church-going types, and I think they will be cool with it. My youngest sister's reaction to me getting a tattoo was to say "I always thought you were a bit of a Nancy, but turns out you're not!" Boy is she in for a shock!
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Great story Yak. I'm happy for you!
Care to elaborate any? I'm just curious. Was it a positive experience? If so, then why did you decide not to further explore that path?
I didn't say that
Care to elaborate any? I'm just curious. Was it a positive experience? If so, then why did you decide not to further explore that path?
SpaceBridge
Member
Great story Yak. I'm happy for you!
Care to elaborate any? I'm just curious. Was it a positive experience? If so, then why did you decide not to further explore that path?
If it had been positive he wouldnt have been married for that long...
Anyways Yak, your story reminds me alot of the movie Far From Heaven:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2wnVCoeCXbY&feature=relmfu
Diseased Yak
Gold Member
Great story Yak. I'm happy for you!
Care to elaborate any? I'm just curious. Was it a positive experience? If so, then why did you decide not to further explore that path?
Well,it was basically me and my roommate going to a local gay bar. We ended up going quite a bit,since they didn't card and this was before we were 21. He was totally straight and would just hang at the bar. I felt free for the first time, and totally let my flag fly.
I stuck mostly to dancing, until I met someone who I thought was the sexiest thing ever. Basically this tall (6'3), hairy, burly, beastly, bulging man-shape who blew my socks off(and my cock a few nights in a row).
Uh, I guess I like "bears"? Is there such a thing as "A New Gay Man's Guide To All Things Gay"? Cause I really need to get hip with the parlance.
Oh,and to answer your second question, I guess it was just easier to fall back into how I was before college...
I sorta wanna know too.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Sounds like a positive experience to me!
Someone posted a link in the old Gay/Bi thread that was all about gay terminology. Bears, Bulls, Otters, etc. I can't seem to find it though.
Okay. Hmm.
I'm sort of confused about how you can enjoy multiple BJs from a hot guy but not wonder if you're gay? That said, different generations and all. I'm sure it's much easier today to figure out as a teenager whether you're gay with greater acceptance in society and with the internet available as a... resource. I'm also not expecting you to give us an exact summary of your frame of mind at the time, as time tends to make our recollection of why we made certain decisions a little fuzzy.
In any case, grats! It sounds like a tough situation and I'm glad you both ended up okay.
The silver lining to your story is that at 38 you'll probably find plenty of bearish guys who are interested in you.
Here is a decent article about basic phrases/labels in gay culture
Welcome to the club!
I wish my connection was fixed so I could Aki mirror match Dragonlife. >:I
Guys, yesterday at work someone called the cops due to an apparent bomb threat. Apparently someone also saw a person with a gun so the cops came within minutes. I was making a parfait and I turn around to see a bunch of cops with huge guns standing in front of me. Oh, and apparently a police helicopter came. I was fucking horrified. For reference I work at my local theater so I thought there was going to be another Aurora copycat. Thankfully nothing happened. Still super scary though. 
In other news, I'm in love with my 3DS XL. Dem screens, man.
In other news, I'm in love with my 3DS XL. Dem screens, man.
Guys, yesterday at work someone called the cops due to an apparent bomb threat. Apparently someone also saw a person with a gun so the cops came within minutes. I was making a parfait and I turn around to see a bunch of cops with huge guns standing in front of me. Oh, and apparently a police helicopter came. I was fucking horrified. For reference I work at my local theater so I thought there was going to be another Aurora copycat. Thankfully nothing happened. Still super scary though.
In other news, I'm in love with my 3DS XL. Dem screens, man.
That's crazy, glad you're alright.
Are the bigger pixels distracting?
Thanks. Did you change your user name? I thought someone on the gaming side was using your avatar or something. You look so cute in it it's hard not to notice it.
Not really, it looks better than playing PSP games on a Vita in my opinion. That might be due to the fact PSP games don't look that good but whatever. The best part is the usable d-pad. The OG 3DS was so uncomfortable the d-pad almost destroyed my hands. NSMB2 is a lot of fun too.
In other news, I'm still computer-less so I'm using my 3DS XL to type this all out. The lack of porn is nerve-wrecking. I've also decided to take a year off to figure myself out.
Congrats to Yak also! I've always thought situations like that only happen in TV dramas. I'm glad everything seems to have worked out I a positive manner.
I can't understand why you're using a screen with a small resolution to type when you have a Playstation Vita with a beautiful OLED screen at a stunning resolution that displays the web with wonderful clarity and allows you to type on an intuitive touchscreen keyboard that can quickly change between a multitude of languages.
But really, why aren't you using your Vita's browser? I use Google Voice primarily through my Vita.
The touch screen on Vita is way too sensitive to type anything out. Sometimes my hand is hovering over the screen and it'll add something and messes up my sentence. Also, mobile GAF looks great on the XL. Mainly because mobile GAF is more of a vertical website, if that makes sense. Text is also nice and readable on the XL while the Vita makes it really small.
dragonlife
Member
I think I popped a few blood vessels.
I understand the layout and text issues. I tried using the mobile site on the Vita and found it rather unpleasant, but I don't like using the internet on my portables in general.
On a positive note I picked up Yakuza 4!
...only to find out my Blu-Ray drive doesn't work anymore. I hate that this generation of consoles have terrible reliability. :'(
why
why did you get my hopes up just to shoot them down why did you
how can one person be so cruel
How old is your PS3? I've been lucky in that I've never had an issue with any of my consoles.
It's only a little over a year old. I'm also having problems recently with my 360 too. Earlier in the generation I had to get my Wii repaired like 3 times until I bought a new one once the repaired unit died. Thankfully my new Wii has been going strong 2 years now.
This generation sucks. Hopefully the new consoles are more reliable.
I have a curse where every electronic near me falls apart. I'm only half joking.
Thanks. Did you change your user name? I thought someone on the gaming side was using your avatar or something. You look so cute in it it's hard not to notice it.
Not really, it looks better than playing PSP games on a Vita in my opinion. That might be due to the fact PSP games don't look that good but whatever. The best part is the usable d-pad. The OG 3DS was so uncomfortable the d-pad almost destroyed my hands. NSMB2 is a lot of fun too.
In other news, I'm still computer-less so I'm using my 3DS XL to type this all out. The lack of porn is nerve-wrecking. I've also decided to take a year off to figure myself out.
Congrats to Yak also! I've always thought situations like that only happen in TV dramas. I'm glad everything seems to have worked out I a positive manner.
I did change it, yeah. And thanks, looking good yourself.
Good to hear, I'm dirt broke but if I ever end up getting a 3DS I think XL will be my SKU of choice.
Edit: all these spoiler tags are mesmerizing.
excelforward
Member
Pretty much everyday in the summers. I don't sweat much, so unless I'm doing some major physical activity, I can let it lapse in the winters for a day or so. However, I only wash my hair with shampoo every two weeks or so. Just a good finger scrub keeps in clean without having to use chemicals that strip out the oils. The lady who cuts my hair loves me for it (of course, then again, she's a grungy, awesome, tattooed, queer trans chick).
Diseased Yak
Gold Member
Oh, I knew. But I didn't know. If that makes sense. I really think it was mostly a product of my upbringing. I didn't actively want to acknowledge it, even though it was right there staring me in the face. I envy those of you that were able to come out in your 20's and even teens. The strange thing is, I didn't try to suppress it all, it just happened naturally, again, due to how I was raised more than anything.
Anyhoo, thanks for the article! I feel like I've stepped off a slow boat to a wild tropical island, where everyone speaks the same language and wears fabulous clothes.
Game of foreverrrrrrrr
Necromanti
Member
Preach!
Phonomezer
Banned
excelforward
Member
How does one go about changing their username? PM me if you don't mind, since I don't want to pull away from the topic.
Bel Marduk
Banned
Guys, yesterday at work someone called the cops due to an apparent bomb threat. Apparently someone also saw a person with a gun so the cops came within minutes. I was making a parfait and I turn around to see a bunch of cops with huge guns standing in front of me. Oh, and apparently a police helicopter came. I was fucking horrified. For reference I work at my local theater so I thought there was going to be another Aurora copycat. Thankfully nothing happened. Still super scary though.
In other news, I'm in love with my 3DS XL. Dem screens, man.
That is really scary.. although your post makes me want a parfait.
Bel Marduk
Banned
I'm sure they will have one soon enough.. although waiting sucks and the XL is just the extra oomph that the 3DS needs and it actually makes the 3D parts look not as awkward and eye straining. The blue one actually looks pretty good. I'm getting one soon. That and NSMB2.
SpaceBridge
Member
I dunno dude, im 34 years old, same generation as you. I fell in "love" with my best friend when I was 16. I didnt know I was in love with him until it hit me one night and i undestood what my feelings for him were, and what those others feelings I had had for men: i was gay. I broke down and cried because of this revelation. It was both a relief to finnaly understand it but to also fear them. But I knew I was gay. I dont think I was any more self aware than you though. I mean, I didnt have my first sexual encounter with another man until I was in college, much like yourself (yay for handjob?) But, and please dont be offended because Im trying to understand your experience, how could you don see that your gay even as your getting sucked off by your dream-bear-man? What mental hoops was your brain going through to make you "not see" what you were?
I'll admit I make a mean parfait.
I was waiting for silver originally too but the blue is absolutely gorgeous. Probably the best looking handheld I've ever owned. The 3D on the XL has a smaller viewing angle than the OG 3DS, but it looks awesome when you're in the sweet spot.
Also, why is GayGAF so dead at the moment? I'm pulling an all nighter because of my sleep schedule got out of wack and I wanna fix it. The problem is that I pulled a muscle or something in my leg and it hurts like a bitch to walk, so I'm stuck in bed. There's nothing to do besides play 3DS and read GAF but no one is on here.
...I must persevere and stay awake...
What. I've spent countless hours playing Street Fighter, Shinobi, Dead or Alive, Mutant Mudds, Tetris Axis, etc. (plus lots of VC and DS games) with no problem since launch. I actually like it better now than the d-pad on my DS Lite, and I can pull off some combos more easily on 3DS than on PC (with a beautiful HoriPad 3 controller, of course) in SSFIV.
But the real question would be, what's the difference? The location seems identical, is it not clicky anymore?
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