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Gay and Bisexual thread |OT2|Bears and Twinks and Otters. Oh My!
- Thread starter Delio
- Start date
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p_xavier
Authorized Fister
Don't take it personally, it happens to everyone.
Necromanti
Member
Online "dating" certainly isn't enjoyable.
DR2K
Banned
I think I found a really nice guy. We were just supposed to meet up, but we ended up fucking like rabbits since we've both gone so long without. We're still communicating and have plans to meet up again, more of a date thing.
Did I mention that he's fucking gorgeous? Bears repeating if not.
Did I mention that he's fucking gorgeous? Bears repeating if not.
I'm guilty of jerk-rejecting a guy once. But eh, he got pissed off that I didn't want to be more "loving" during our first and only date (lol, like I'd go to his car/place - nope), so he kind of deserved it. He wouldn't stop calling me for a while, though, it was annoying since I had to turn my phone off for prolonged periods, lol.
Why didn't you say you just weren't interested? How did you jerk-reject him exactly?
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
So what's the secret to making things like this happen, because I can't get anyone to even have dinner with me.
DR2K
Banned
The shit would I know, this is like hitting a lottery ticket.
Anyone? Even if you lower your standards?
I didn't because I was being a jerk, I'm not proud of that or anything and I'll never do that again. I just pretended I was okay during the date, then as soon as I got home I deleted/blocked and never answered the calls.
First date (even though we didn't use that word) -- pretty sweet success. Drinks, great chat that was mostly pretty organic, well-flowing. Tons of long eye-locks that just totally drew me (and hopefully him) in. And he definitely went for the kiss at the end, which made me giddy.
Christ. Haven't felt this way about anyone in...a couple years. Long week to wait now till he's back from a trip. Worst timing, lol.
Also, I know my experience is super-anecdotal, but grindr's been pretty great to me over the years. Sure, I've met some losers, assholes, etc., but I also ended up meeting a couple of people that (after some fun) have become some of my best friends ever. And through them, I've met the entire gay 'circle' I hang out with, and which have become one of the best parts of my life.
I dunno; I guess, all I'm saying is, it helped me put myself out there, and the end result has been amazing. I've had some fun dates, some fun times, met some incredible people, and it all definitely outweighs the few super stinkers and stretches of mediocrity I've also encountered there.
Christ. Haven't felt this way about anyone in...a couple years. Long week to wait now till he's back from a trip. Worst timing, lol.
Also, I know my experience is super-anecdotal, but grindr's been pretty great to me over the years. Sure, I've met some losers, assholes, etc., but I also ended up meeting a couple of people that (after some fun) have become some of my best friends ever. And through them, I've met the entire gay 'circle' I hang out with, and which have become one of the best parts of my life.
I dunno; I guess, all I'm saying is, it helped me put myself out there, and the end result has been amazing. I've had some fun dates, some fun times, met some incredible people, and it all definitely outweighs the few super stinkers and stretches of mediocrity I've also encountered there.
michaeltraps
Member
Cool, I'll add tonight.
Got it. Now just need some multi games. And I'm surprised how much I love Miiverse.
Ugh, men are fucking awful.
Id been talking to this guy on grindr for a week or so now. He wasn't particularly amazing, and out conversation never really went beyond the standard 'hey, how are you, i'm horny, here is a picture of my penis' drivel. He was wanting to hook up, and asked a few times, but it was always a bad time for me. Today I had nothing going on all day, so I asked if he wanted to come over. SO the guy rings my doorbell, I go down and open the door, say 'hey, come in', he looks at me, says 'nah, i'd rather not' and turns on his fucking heel and walks away. Bear in mind this fucker had seen plenty of photos of me, he knew what I bloody well looked like. It's not like my grindr photos are masterfully taken, well-lit, or massively flattering, they're just standard photos. I dont think they mislead anyone as to what i look like. I mean, fair enough just saying to someone that they're not your type or whatever, but to get to someone's house and then fucking walk away like i'm some hideous man-beast? That's just fucking rude. I get that sometimes people can look different in photos but if that happens and you're not into it when you meet them, there are nice ways of letting them down. Don't say four words and then walk off. My self-esteem is low at the best of times, but now I'm at 'crying into Ben & Jerry's' levels of self-loathing.
I get that i'm not the gay ideal, or whatever - i'm short, nerdy and not in the best shape - , but I'm not completely hideous? He certainly wasn't. He was fat, hairy and at least 30. His dick was nothing special either. I hope he gets hit by a bus
tl;dr grindr hook-up took one look at me irl and ran the fuck away. My self-esteem is in tatters.
Id been talking to this guy on grindr for a week or so now. He wasn't particularly amazing, and out conversation never really went beyond the standard 'hey, how are you, i'm horny, here is a picture of my penis' drivel. He was wanting to hook up, and asked a few times, but it was always a bad time for me. Today I had nothing going on all day, so I asked if he wanted to come over. SO the guy rings my doorbell, I go down and open the door, say 'hey, come in', he looks at me, says 'nah, i'd rather not' and turns on his fucking heel and walks away. Bear in mind this fucker had seen plenty of photos of me, he knew what I bloody well looked like. It's not like my grindr photos are masterfully taken, well-lit, or massively flattering, they're just standard photos. I dont think they mislead anyone as to what i look like. I mean, fair enough just saying to someone that they're not your type or whatever, but to get to someone's house and then fucking walk away like i'm some hideous man-beast? That's just fucking rude. I get that sometimes people can look different in photos but if that happens and you're not into it when you meet them, there are nice ways of letting them down. Don't say four words and then walk off. My self-esteem is low at the best of times, but now I'm at 'crying into Ben & Jerry's' levels of self-loathing.
I get that i'm not the gay ideal, or whatever - i'm short, nerdy and not in the best shape - , but I'm not completely hideous? He certainly wasn't. He was fat, hairy and at least 30. His dick was nothing special either. I hope he gets hit by a bus
tl;dr grindr hook-up took one look at me irl and ran the fuck away. My self-esteem is in tatters.
To be honest, I've moved past feeling sorry for myself and now I'm just angry. The guy is clearly a waste of oxygen, so there's no point beating myself up over it. I just need to think up an ingenious revenge plot.
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
Your love of Kate Bush and Manila makes you beautiful to meeee, Lear. ;__;
King Endymion
Member
I already told him 2,5 months ago that I don't want to be in a relationship anymore, but I hope that someday we can become friends when the dust has settled, but he kept clinging on, jealous about everything I did and when I hung out with my friends. Getting texts about me being a fake, a liar and that I don't give a damn about him every week mede me resent him in the end. And when he accused me of cheating and wanting to have sex with every guy out there (which is totally the opposite of who I am, I would never cheat), I finally snapped. He was crying, I was angry and kind of uncaring at that point, so I hung up with a final goodbye, feeling relieved. He is the last person I would want to hug. >_>was it really necessary to discuss over the phone?discussions over the phone are most of the time, break-up discussions. No hugs, no eyes, no gesture, no nothing, pure hatred and apathy.
I'm sorry this happened to you. It's shitty but if that guy is a waste of oxygen then there's no need wasting any more time on him.
Are you sure it's because of you? I know I've been on hookups where the guy is super hot but i could barely get it up because the thought of another emotionless hookup just sounded miserable. The discussion up to the hookup was fun, but the idea of actually going through with it made me feel terrible. I wish I had had the courage to do what he did although ofncourse phrased it a bit differently...
Read this over several times, and you'll realize that there's no reason for your self-esteem to be low. Be glad that you didn't sleep with him and move on.
Why? It already seems obvious to me he'll die miserable and alone.
tamaster92
Member
Correct.
<3 Thanks bb
I know.The revenge thing was me (mostly) being flippant.
I'm over it now. It's no use being upset about what losing out on what would probably have been mediocre sex. I'm thinking I'm going to delete grindr etc. The interactions i have with guys through those apps just aren't satisfying and they seem to bring out the worst in people (as Mercury Fred was saying). I can try and meet guys the old-fashioned way.
Why would you even give this dude the time of day.
you mean the secret to get a date or the secret to go on a date more than once with the same guy??
for the first, Men are SO predictable... look at DR2K, he is athletic, has a beard and has the attitude of not really needing anything in particular and that he fucks like a bull (I am speaking about the appearnace here, I don't know anything about any gaffer here
)back when I had my old profile in gayromeo in april/may this year, I had nice pics but few guys showed interest. I was like the geek, thin, soft guy, that would play balade pour adeline and fur elise on the piano wearing his nice tux, gays weren't thrilled.
fast forward, I've been working out, have a beard, I don't give a damn about having anyome, and bam, compare the hits between my older profile and the one I have now, It's laughable, I am the same freaking guy, not an inch higher, not more or less friendly, not more or less caring, I am not better, in fact, I was so bitter after breaking up with my ex that I think I am much less attractive as a person now than before, even if my body is a bit more likeable.
I think I remember your pics and you are athletic and care for yourself, so you have that part covered. As for the other, try different looks and attitudes and try to convey that in the dating sites, if you want to try using them again. I am not saying you look bad now, in fact I know you look damn well but this fucking gay world is so superficial, that we have to make exterior changes to be more "appealing" to the gay crowd even though we really shouldn't, it sucks in any case.
as for the second, having more dates with the same guy, just find a match in the top <-> bottom department and you are all set. Side by side masturbating almost never leads to further encounters... (when we talk about raw sex, of course, not when you want something more serious or for the heart).
All this in my opinion, don't kill me if any of you disagree.
could it be he just freaked out and it has nothing to do with your appearance?? I think it's more likely that he just was scared of getting into your flat... don't know, seems strange..
besides.. I suggest you meet people somewhere else than an apartment. If things like this happen, It doesn't feel as bad... and people are more likely to talk normally about how they feel after a first hand impression being outdoors than we you are about to get undressed and proceed to lie naked on your bed.
I think...
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Why is your tag 'the piano man'? Are you a pianist?
you mean the secret to get a date or the secret to go on a date more than once with the same guy??
for the first, Men are SO predictable... look at DR2K, he is athletic, has a beard and has the attitude of not really needing anything in particular and that he fucks like a bull (I am speaking about the appearnace here, I don't know anything about any gaffer here
back when I had my old profile in gayromeo in april/may this year, I had nice pics but few guys showed interest. I was like the geek, thin, soft guy, that would play balade pour adeline and fur elise on the piano wearing his nice tux, gays weren't thrilled.
fast forward, I've been working out, have a beard, I don't give a damn about having anyome, and bam, compare the hits between my older profile and the one I have now, It's laughable, I am the same freaking guy, not an inch higher, not more or less friendly, not more or less caring, I am not better, in fact, I was so bitter after breaking up with my ex that I think I am much less attractive as a person now than before, even if my body is a bit more likeable.
I think I remember your pics and you are athletic and care for yourself, so you have that part covered. As for the other, try different looks and attitudes and try to convey that in the dating sites, if you want to try using them again. I am not saying you look bad now, in fact I know you look damn well but this fucking gay world is so superficial, that we have to make exterior changes to be more "appealing" to the gay crowd even though we really shouldn't, it sucks in any case.
as for the second, having more dates with the same guy, just find a match in the top <-> bottom department and you are all set. Side by side masturbating almost never leads to further encounters... (when we talk about raw sex, of course, not when you want something more serious or for the heart).
All this in my opinion, don't kill me if any of you disagree.
I mostly agree, but more than being athletic or to have a beard is about what you project. People are far more flexible than they think regarding their "type" and personality plays a big part. It helps to remember most of the guys at the bar or at grindr are really not much different than yourself, I think is easy to spot the superficial, vapid people too in order to avoid them.
I don't know about Grindr to be honest, and I'm not an expert by any means, but after my short experience going out, I've found out that after you muster the courage to approach people identifying the superficial ones is incredibly easy. And rejection, as sucky as it is, is a fine tuner of who you should or not approach, and to recognize the subtle ways people accept or reject someone. So go out and get rejected like mad, is actually for your own good
note: going out once every few months, being bored, and having a negative attitude doesn't count, no one will approach you, if you were to find someone like that you would reject them as well, you wouldn't even gave them the time of day, lets be honest. (Just to clarify, not talking about Cosmic, I know he left that ugly part of his life long time ago!
)Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
I'm not going to present myself as something that I'm not - some masculine, confident man's man - just to catch guys' interest.
To be blunt, I'm sick and tired of being ignored. Getting the cold shoulder. Being rejected. Yes, dudes of the world, I have a lot to offer even if I'm never going to be a super fit adonis. Whatever. My thanksgiving got canceled today, so who gives a shit. Maybe I'll just cut my fucking dick off an be done with it. The faggots have made it clear I'm not wanted, so I'm done with men forever.
To be blunt, I'm sick and tired of being ignored. Getting the cold shoulder. Being rejected. Yes, dudes of the world, I have a lot to offer even if I'm never going to be a super fit adonis. Whatever. My thanksgiving got canceled today, so who gives a shit. Maybe I'll just cut my fucking dick off an be done with it. The faggots have made it clear I'm not wanted, so I'm done with men forever.
you sound worse than me which isn't a good thing.
Oh this is exactly what I'm saying, just to clarify, I completely agree with you. I was talking more about not hiding, if the love of your life is out there, you have to let him know, he is not going around reading the minds of everyone, that is the hard part of course. Straight people meet everywhere, we have to stick to our places, which is sadly mostly online, grindr, bars and the like, maybe gay sports teams or something, is just more difficult and there's really very little we can do, except extending our social circles as much as we can. This is, I know, specially difficult for guys like us that are introverted, but again what are you going to do? this is what life dealt on the table, you pick your cards and play them the best you can.
I really doubt there isn't anyone out there for you or anyone else in this thread, as I saw in some of those annoying facebook tumblr things even honey boo boo's mom has a boyfriend, that is the lowest of the lowest standards. You are a great guy, you'll find someone, you are not the "hottest" guy either, so you'll also get rejected a lot, thats life, to hell with them and keep looking. Someone will find you hot.
yep, well, sometimes... a "real" pianist wouldn't have time to browse GAF let alone post in it.... but I am happy.
I mostly agree, but more than being athletic or to have a beard is about what you project. People are far more flexible than they think regarding their "type" and personality plays a big part. It helps to remember most of the guys at the bar or at grindr are really not much different than yourself, I think is easy to spot the superficial, vapid people too in order to avoid them.
I don't know about Grindr to be honest, and I'm not an expert by any means, but after my short experience going out, I've found out that after you muster the courage to approach people identifying the superficial ones is incredibly easy. And rejection, as sucky as it is, is a fine tuner of who you should or not approach, and to recognize the subtle ways people accept or reject someone. So go out and get rejected like mad, is actually for your own good
it all boils down to the bolded, at the end but.. I do think there are some specific attributes gay guys are looking for, at least a bigger portion of them, regardless of sexual role.
Beard is definitely one fo them, I am not sure why. I don't even have a beard fetisch or anything, I let it grow because I had a scar around my lip and wanted to hide it, all of a sudden I learned that beard fetisch is a thing.
I am sorry to hear things aren't working out.
About how you present yourself, my comment didn't mean that you should pretend to be someone you aren't. It's more a thing of looking for a version of yourself (a real one!) you feel would be appealing to you if you were someone else... look into yourself and think of the moments you have "clicked" with people, of any kind, friends and such. What did they see in you? ask them, get a response, and be aware of what makes you special, couple that with a couple of external makeovers, choose a nice hairstyle or change your frames, something you'd like and feel comfortable with and go with it... the important thing I think is to change.. and all of this while not giving a fuck about men, being blunt.
and hey, you ARE fit, I am absolutely sure some people would consider you an adonis.
It's all about being confident and feeling good about yourself. People react to that more than being extremely hot or masculine.
And I reiterate my post from last page, if you are unhappy about using online dating websites and/or apps, then stop using them altogether and try mingling with gays by joining clubs, sports teams, etc. This is especially "easy" to do if you live in a big city.
And I reiterate my post from last page, if you are unhappy about using online dating websites and/or apps, then stop using them altogether and try mingling with gays by joining clubs, sports teams, etc. This is especially "easy" to do if you live in a big city.
THIS THIS THIS. Most of my gay friends I know in Madrid, I've met them just joining a local group of inline skaters.
Padawan of Windu
Member
God, things are kind of negative in here lately Cheer up,it's Thanksgiving Eve, 4 day weekend,new Nintendo system out, The Hobbit comes out soon,lots of things to be joyful about. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! Any interesting plans or travel for it?
Cheer up,it's Thanksgiving Eve, 4 day weekend,new Nintendo system out, The Hobbit comes out soon,lots of things to be joyful about. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving! Any interesting plans or travel for it?King Endymion
Member
I don't know, a lot of people have asked me that, I guess I was just in that stage of my life where I was really lonely and sad, and I wanted companion. We had so much in common, but I was never really in love like I had before, but the friendship meant so much. Had he told me about his illness, antidepressives and suicide attempt prior to our relationship, I would never have taken that step. :/
That never works for me
God, things are kind of negative in here lately
lol, this thread is a bit dreary lately.
That's because you haven't tried.
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
That's cool. Are you a professional or do you just do it for fun?
I'll be cooking most of the Thanksgiving dinner for my family. Actually, I should probably get started already...
God, things are kind of negative in here lately
We don't have Thanksgiving in Belgium so I'm not doing anything in particular. We had a "Thanksgiving themed" dinner last week end with my bf's friends, it was really fun although I was nervous considering all his friends are quite a bit older than me. Ending up being really fun anyway and I still really love Turkey (and stuffing)
Garcia
Member
Opinions on beard/hair?
I kinda want to cut the hair, and beard feels odd, like it's not the right length but I can't place it. Don't comment on my intel shirt, it's my IDGAF school day.
I envy your beard, bro, it totally fits you. You look quite furry as well, rawr.
Yep he's 5 years older than me. Not an issue at all but it's sometimes a bit weird talking to people who are all settled/have a job when I'm still far from done with my studies. No biggie though, they're all really nice and welcoming
And I'm from Liège.
Katana_Strikes
Member
Don't be too disheartened... yeah I know that's going to be hard, but seriously, you will move on and up from scum like that. I had a similar-ish situation, where I met a guy on a dating site, we met up... he gave me one look and never spoke to me once throughout a really awkward 30 min "date". He then got someone to ring him and pretend it was work, so he could bail the fuck out. I was absolute shot to pieces because it was the first guy I'd met up with in years. It was one of my darkest moments. I was in a really bad place after that. Felt utterly shit and worthless. Yet, I picked myself up and I... just 2 months later found a really nice (at the time) guy who became my BF and he... I believe saved me from myself. And honestly, every date I've been on since, I've not had any problems with guys doing anything nasty like that... so I'm either choosing better guys... or he was just a one off piece of trash, I'll never have to deal with ever again.
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