Perspicacity
Banned
Between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. but you have to get drunk first.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
Between the hours of 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. but you have to get drunk first.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I don't understand is this a good or bad thing.
if it was important to me, it'd be a bad thing I suppose. On the other hand, my success rate on match.com is unprecedented
Fuck. I'm 5 minutes late.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
if it was important to me, it'd be a bad thing I suppose. On the other hand, my success rate on match.com is unprecedented
So you don't bother IRL and just go for match.com?
Devolution
Member
What three words (without being mean and focusing OT 4 in the right direction) do you think should encapsulate the next thread?
Examples:
Self-Confidence
Resilience
Or hell a nice tagline would be cool too.
Examples:
Self-Confidence
Resilience
Or hell a nice tagline would be cool too.
Perspicacity
Banned
"Cultivate yourself first" or something like "today you, tomorrow the world"?
OT2 was pretty eloquent about the importance of self-improvement and making a healthy interesting life for yourself before you bring someone else into it, the concept would do well to reflect in the title IMO.
I mainly meet girls at clubs these days so we have our fun that way. I used to be on two other dating sites (that don't cost any money) until maybe two weeks ago but I deleted my accounts.
Check yo self
I haven't had time for research just yet. A topic name or tagline is probably better decided after the tone of message is more set in stone. Send me a pm with your Skype or something and we can talk about it later?
Edit: OT4 will definitely be continuing the topic of self-improvement in a major way, I'd say. Since there's at least two schools of thought on the overall subject, I'm thinking of splitting it more into sections so everything is not so much in your face as it might be if I push either agenda.
Devolution
Member
I definitely feel like a message that contains self-importance and positivity would be the best.
I can't believe this worked. I was out with 2 co-workers and one of their gf's last night at a pub for trivia night. The girl mentioned one of her friends and casually reminded me that I had her phone # from several months ago (July) whom I had never texted. So what do I do? Text her, ask her where she was tonight etc. then shortly I asked if she wanted to go out next week and she said yes!
When in doubt, put yourself in the place of the girl in question. If you were B, would you be comfortable with the guy you're dating flirting with some other girl, in order to try and gain her interest so he can drop you and be with her? If you wouldn't, that means it's wrong.
I agree. Something that implies that you should work full speed ahead on improving your own life, and in doing so great things will come to you naturally. Not to focus on improving your life for others.
Improve your life for you.
Or something.
WyndhamPrice
Member
I'm with Minamu, it should be "Chiggedy-check yo self before you wriggedy-wreck yo self"
Beliefs
I decided to just talk to her about it tonight anyways, we'll see how it goes. I'm not sure I can put myself in her shoes, but if she was interested in dating someone else I would want her to explore that option before we get any more serious than we already are. We are both adults we should both be doing what we think is in our best interest and as long as we both understand that there shouldn't be any problems, right?
This was pretty funny.
It kinda makes sense, doesn't it?
Edit: I'll have more spare time this weekend than during the coming weekdays, I have a card game to balance for class until then, so ease up on the posting
It kinda makes sense, doesn't it?
I don't know why I didn't see it before, it's so simple really. All of my mistakes in the past just could have been prevented had I known!
And it's like that.
Alright, thanks guys. Looking back at my post yesterday morning I sounded pretty pitiful. I'm doing better now and am pretty much over her. I could use more female friends, so we agreed to stop talking for a few weeks and then see if we could remain friends. I realized that the reason I was so into her in the first place, was because she was infatuated with me from the start. Now that I know she doesn't feel that way its easier to let go. Oh, and there was no other guy, unless she didn't sleep considering we spent weekends together and she worked a late shift during the week.
Already opened back up my OKC account and see a few ladies I'm interested in. I'll probably wait until after Thanksgiving to send anything out since most people are likely busy with family this weekend, myself included.
Also since I've gotten in better shape the past few months I've noticed more women checking me out/taking notice of me throughout my day. Funny how it only seems to happen when I'm in a relationship, so hopefully that continues now that I'm free.
I think I'll be over her by the time I decide if I want to stay friends. I still occasionally talk to one of my exes and we get along and have no feelings toward each other.
And I'm fairly busy this weekend so I wouldn't have time for dates. My successes on that site have come from setting up a date withing 2-3 days of first talking to them. Usually after 2 or 3 messages I ask for their number (sometimes the girl asks to chat over the IM which has always led to me getting their number also) and try and set up the date in the middle of the week. I've had some agree to dates, but say they were busy/on vacation and would be interested in a week, only to have those fizzle out.
I don't normally post in here, but I've never really succeeded in this particular situation, and I'm feeling a bit gung-ho at the moment, so lay it on me, GAF.
Met a girl tonight, stunning, et cetera. What really threw me for a loop was what I found on her Facebook page when I got home: quotes from Carl Sagan, a severe love of rationalism...you know, nerd shit, I love it.
Thing is, she was dating this fucking moron. He's good looking, no doubt, but a goddamn *idiot*. I also rather hate him from a previous encounter in which he said he didn't support equal rights for LGBT citizens, so fuck him.
She at one point mentioned they were merely dating (though I believe they've been doing so for at least a month), so operation fuck-that-dude is in effect. Just straight up ask her on a date, and not even mention his name? I unfortunately didn't get her number (I admit, I wasn't *really* attracted to her until I read that stuff).
Advise. I am not afraid of embarrassment, nor I am afraid of getting on his bad side.
Met a girl tonight, stunning, et cetera. What really threw me for a loop was what I found on her Facebook page when I got home: quotes from Carl Sagan, a severe love of rationalism...you know, nerd shit, I love it.
Thing is, she was dating this fucking moron. He's good looking, no doubt, but a goddamn *idiot*. I also rather hate him from a previous encounter in which he said he didn't support equal rights for LGBT citizens, so fuck him.
She at one point mentioned they were merely dating (though I believe they've been doing so for at least a month), so operation fuck-that-dude is in effect. Just straight up ask her on a date, and not even mention his name? I unfortunately didn't get her number (I admit, I wasn't *really* attracted to her until I read that stuff).
Advise. I am not afraid of embarrassment, nor I am afraid of getting on his bad side.
1. You wouldn't post in here if she wasn't gorgeous
Don't let her looks go to your head. Why did you "find" her on facebook though? 2. Why are you so annoyed by this? Either she's an idiot too, or she sees something in him that you don't, tough luck.
3. It's understandable why this would upset anyone, but in the long run, such things don't really matter much at all. Let this hate go, it won't serve you any good, perhaps even the opposite.
4. Same thing here. This is either her telling you to back off or to go for it. That comes down to your vibe and belief system. If you dislike this guy so much, your vibe is probably bad.
5. Yes to not mentioning him. No to the dates. If she's almost taken already, do something else that he or regular guys wouldn't do with her. Do something cool.
6. That is her loss, not yours. Give her yours. Focus on more important things.
All of this is a bad idea and will not end well
So... this girl on a dating website sent me an email saying she liked my profile, i responded to her before going to bed.
Now i wake up this morning just to see her messages from my mailboxes gone, and so is her account.
If I knew this would have happen, I would have noted her email adress that she gave me in one of her messages. But it's really weird... this is coming from a website with a monthly fee, there's no way she would delete her account like that in the middle of the night if she's paying. Doesn't make any sense...
Now i wake up this morning just to see her messages from my mailboxes gone, and so is her account.
If I knew this would have happen, I would have noted her email adress that she gave me in one of her messages. But it's really weird... this is coming from a website with a monthly fee, there's no way she would delete her account like that in the middle of the night if she's paying. Doesn't make any sense...
YoYo Switch
Banned
AHAHAHA, I think I fucked up.
Just transferred to a new school, and I like the girls here a lot better. I met a lot, have 4 or so numbers, life's good.
So there was this one girl I was interested in. Got her number last week after having a brief conversation with her, i told her we should hang out and got her number. Now, I suppose there's no concrete evidence that she likes me, all I've been going on is that she always says hi to me and starts a conversation with me when I'm around, and laughs at pretty much everything I say. And she laughs hard, I stopped her breathing once.
Anyway, we talk before class, and that goes pretty well. There's this other girl in class who's number I got the week before but I haven''t talked to at all, so during our break, I payed attention to her mostly, while the other girl fucked off somewhere else and got a snack or whatever.
So after class is over, we say our goodbyes, she mentioned going back home to long island for thanksgiving break and so i said "So you'll be there all weekend? Cool, whatever, I'll just ask you out next week."
"What?"
"I said I'll ask you out next week."
And i honestly couldn't gauge her reaction at all. I suppose the only way I can describe t was that she gave a dismissive nod and half a laugh. A far cry from the giggle fits I usually get her in.
SO yea. I think i fucked it up. We still have class together, plus, she's also an editor for the paper i write for. So...what happens now. I have no idea how to squirm out of this with the least awkward tension as possible.
Just transferred to a new school, and I like the girls here a lot better. I met a lot, have 4 or so numbers, life's good.
So there was this one girl I was interested in. Got her number last week after having a brief conversation with her, i told her we should hang out and got her number. Now, I suppose there's no concrete evidence that she likes me, all I've been going on is that she always says hi to me and starts a conversation with me when I'm around, and laughs at pretty much everything I say. And she laughs hard, I stopped her breathing once.
Anyway, we talk before class, and that goes pretty well. There's this other girl in class who's number I got the week before but I haven''t talked to at all, so during our break, I payed attention to her mostly, while the other girl fucked off somewhere else and got a snack or whatever.
So after class is over, we say our goodbyes, she mentioned going back home to long island for thanksgiving break and so i said "So you'll be there all weekend? Cool, whatever, I'll just ask you out next week."
"What?"
"I said I'll ask you out next week."
And i honestly couldn't gauge her reaction at all. I suppose the only way I can describe t was that she gave a dismissive nod and half a laugh. A far cry from the giggle fits I usually get her in.
SO yea. I think i fucked it up. We still have class together, plus, she's also an editor for the paper i write for. So...what happens now. I have no idea how to squirm out of this with the least awkward tension as possible.
You're Feep, man. You made Sequence! You're a TV star! Don't throw yourself into an inferior psychological position of jealousy and frustration. Just be cool and have no fear, play the field, and know you're the coolest in the room. No need to force anything. Guys are there to drink beer with, fight eye to eye, and have your back when it matters.
You were too vague in attempt to be witty, and caught her completely off guard. "I'll ask you out next week" means nothing. The only thing you did was solidify that you like her, without creating a concrete plan for the next time you'll meet up.
Yes, prepare for things to be a bit awkward after the holiday. I'm sure you can salvage a friendship, and make working on the paper together more tolerable, but yeah I think you goofed buddy.
YoYo Switch
Banned
yep. thanks for the response.
On to the next one then. No biggie.
There's one other girl I really like. Although my interactions with her are pretty brief. I'll address the thread later. Don't want to be too greedy with all this great help, keep it up GAF
YoYo Switch
Banned
SUNY Purchase.
if this is somebody i know, do me a favor and don't reveal your identity to me, i wish to to remain in blissful ignorance
YoYo Switch
Banned
alright, cool. haha, that's what i thought.
I used to have family in Long Island. I hear it's a nice place to visit.
Just started at Purchase, lots of cute hipster girls. Purchase is kind of awesome.
I used to have family in Long Island. I hear it's a nice place to visit.
Just started at Purchase, lots of cute hipster girls. Purchase is kind of awesome.
I'm considering maybe signing up for a gym next month, but I tend to gravitate toward stuff like martial arts, which tend to have mostly guys in them - there might be exceptions, as at main job's main campus there were boxing classes and about half the people there were women, but the place has been undergoing renovations, so that's been out of reach, and I'm not sure when it'll be ready again.
Since there's already talk of planning the next OT, I wonder how viable would it be to list some activities that tend to have balanced female-to-male ratios, as a sort of tie-breaker for possible interests one may want to get more active in.
How one would gather the stats on that sort of thing, however, I have no idea...
Since there's already talk of planning the next OT, I wonder how viable would it be to list some activities that tend to have balanced female-to-male ratios, as a sort of tie-breaker for possible interests one may want to get more active in.
How one would gather the stats on that sort of thing, however, I have no idea...
ToLateToLove
Member
Fuck. I'm falling for a college. The problem is that she recently ended it with her boyfriend, I don't wanna be a rebound. Every since she broke up we've been texting each other like crazy. However she said something like this. "Do you mind me messaging other people? Because I feel we need to sort that out 
". We worked together that night and I guess I acted sort of jealous! Anyway I said " No of course not, message whom ever you want". After some messaging back and forth she said, "I'm glad, It's to complicated right now, I need to be alone". While I see this as a good thing I'm still falling... gah!
". We worked together that night and I guess I acted sort of jealous! Anyway I said " No of course not, message whom ever you want". After some messaging back and forth she said, "I'm glad, It's to complicated right now, I need to be alone". While I see this as a good thing I'm still falling... gah!Shut up, you. Coasting on your good looks to get by!
hawkshockey11
Banned
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
This isn't really about dating and it may sound dumb but I don't have much of a personality and I'm not naturally confident. What are some very basic beginner steps to help address those two shortcomings?
I did read the OP of OT2 and OT3 and I have done a good 50-60% of the stuff in there so if there's anything else.
I did read the OP of OT2 and OT3 and I have done a good 50-60% of the stuff in there so if there's anything else.
What are the specific things you did from OT2 and OT3?
As has been said on previous pages: improve yourself. Don't have much of a personality? Develop one. Read up on/do stuff you're interested in and form an opinion. Talk to other people about it. Preferably in real life.
Can you name me a couple of things youve become significantly better at, since you've read the previous OT's?
For myself, I've got some questions:
Four weeks ago I had a date with the only girl who actually interested me on a dating site. We had a blast, and though she lives far away, we decided to meet up again last week. That date also went pretty well, I think. We laughed the entire time, discussed some deep stuff, and some not so deep stuff. The date lasted for four hours, and it flew by. Only ting is though, there was practically no physical contact. Throughout the second date I initiated some stuff, like patting her on her shoulder, draping my coat around her and giving her a short half-hug for warmth, stuff like that. In a non creepy manner, and for me it didn't feel awkward (and she didn't freak out either). Thing is though, she didn't respond to it. At all. Nor did she initiate anything herself. We've got another date planned for friday next week. I take it I just go with the flow, and not expect too much?
It's just strange, especially compared to last night. A cute girl came by the door for a (useful) charity. We talked at the door for half an hour, and when she had finished (stretching) the application procedure I sort of asked for her number. Which she gave to me. I gave her a paper, but she grabbed my hand with a playful flirty smile to write down her number.
We've been texting a bit, and it might look like I'll have to schedule both dates on the same fridaynight. One is just short drinks (the datingsite girl), the other might be for salsadancing. Question: what trouble would I be getting myself into, and how big of a jerk would I be?
God fucking damn it.
Had a second date... sex date, whatever, with a girl last night.
Went to her place, she received me in her panties, we instantly made out, went to the sofa and started fooling around, ate her out, then she did it to me, then it was time to fuck and... it went total soft. For the second time. I wanted to fucking kill myself.
I can't fight these feelings, I even thought I'm gay because that piece of ass didn't do anything for the little guy, this is ridiculous.
I gave up faping and porn 15 days ago (that's when I first had this problem with this girl), if that matters..
Also I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, I want to get everything checked, from STDs to Testosterone levels, diabetes, etc.
Had a second date... sex date, whatever, with a girl last night.
Went to her place, she received me in her panties, we instantly made out, went to the sofa and started fooling around, ate her out, then she did it to me, then it was time to fuck and... it went total soft. For the second time. I wanted to fucking kill myself.
I can't fight these feelings, I even thought I'm gay because that piece of ass didn't do anything for the little guy, this is ridiculous.
I gave up faping and porn 15 days ago (that's when I first had this problem with this girl), if that matters..
Also I'm going to the doctor tomorrow, I want to get everything checked, from STDs to Testosterone levels, diabetes, etc.
You didn't fap for 15 days prior to this? I'm surprised you didn't explode in 5 seconds
LOL. I had a wet dream just the night before. I usually get it every 7-10 days.
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