Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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User 100115
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You will. We all will. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
i know how you feel.
Any continuing treatment? I know you'd mentioned ECT previously. Not sure of your experience with medications.
I can almost certainly promise you that you will. As long as you keep moving.
I never got out of it and now im pretty sure im actually dead
my brains death giving a long dreamlike sequence of events as my consciousness fades into infinity
Life is hard. It never pans out as we want, at least in my case.
I understand all of you experiencing hard times, same here.
My father is in jail, and from what I have heard most recently he seems to have lost a lot of weight and have aged rapidly in 3 months. On top of all he seems to be losing his mind.
It's really hard to cope with this I can tell you that. My entire perspective of how I viewed this world has changed in last 3 months. Thankfully I have great siblings and mom so that helps. Still it hurts as fuck when your father ends like that. I wish I could go back in time and change/prevent him from what he did 3 months ago, somehow I blame my self that I haven't done it. In a way I saw it coming. Lowest point in my life and I had a few. I turned 30 a few weeks ago, that doesn't bother me btw.
I understand all of you experiencing hard times, same here.
My father is in jail, and from what I have heard most recently he seems to have lost a lot of weight and have aged rapidly in 3 months. On top of all he seems to be losing his mind.
It's really hard to cope with this I can tell you that. My entire perspective of how I viewed this world has changed in last 3 months. Thankfully I have great siblings and mom so that helps. Still it hurts as fuck when your father ends like that. I wish I could go back in time and change/prevent him from what he did 3 months ago, somehow I blame my self that I haven't done it. In a way I saw it coming. Lowest point in my life and I had a few. I turned 30 a few weeks ago, that doesn't bother me btw.
Would it be advisable to stop taking Zoloft if the medication seems to be amplifying my panic and anxiety? I've only been on it for 4 days, but I've had 3 panic attacks and was in the ER tonight cause I was convinced I was having a heart attack.
I know they say you need to give this stuff a chance and let your body get used to it, but I don't know.
I know they say you need to give this stuff a chance and let your body get used to it, but I don't know.
Collete
Member
I wish I will get out of this but I know in the end, it will never happen.
I won't get the help I need in the end. It's not accessible at all as much as I wish and pray for. And in the end people always try to mess with me to make it worse...
I know my own brain is beyond repair at this point. As much as I wish to get help, it will always come too late for me.
Yes I know.
I know I will never get out of my depression and it will live with me for the rest of my life.
In the end, I don't have access to any help that might fix my depression.
I say this because I am guilty of it myself: people having a super hard time with depression feel hopeless and close their minds off from even baby steps that could move things in the right direction for them. While I understand why it happens, I want to jump around with hula hoops, flashing neon signs, shouting "YOU ONLY FEEL LIKE THIS TODAY! YOU CANNOT PREDICT THE FUTURE! TAKE THINGS ONE DAY AT A TIME!"
Why live depressed in the future AND the present? If you tell yourself and others that things will stay the same and never improve, even if they do you have already decided that your view on them is negative. Everyone, no matter what their problems, is fighting their own fights everyday, big and little. I think it's about treating everything as little problems and challenges.
Depression becomes overwhelming when someone thinks they have to exterminate every sign, symptom and bad feeling forever to be better- while it would be nice, it's an unfair burden for anyone to put on themselves.
Why live depressed in the future AND the present? If you tell yourself and others that things will stay the same and never improve, even if they do you have already decided that your view on them is negative. Everyone, no matter what their problems, is fighting their own fights everyday, big and little. I think it's about treating everything as little problems and challenges.
Depression becomes overwhelming when someone thinks they have to exterminate every sign, symptom and bad feeling forever to be better- while it would be nice, it's an unfair burden for anyone to put on themselves.
10+ years is a long time to have hopes of recovery
It could still get better. I started having depression around 11 years old and I'm 26 now so that's 15 years.
I remember telling my Mother around that age that I wanted to die. Not a I'm going to kill myself if I don't get my way thing. Just a calm, "Mom, I think I want to die." I can't imagine what that must have been like for her. Honestly, I feel a lot of guilt for the pain I must have put my parents through throughout the years.
The past year has been tough but its gotten better overall. I feel like shit physically practically every other day and doctors can't tell me why but I'm still not giving up.
5 years ago I went to sleep every night praying to die. Wondering why I had survived a car accident where I had purposely driven into the barrier in front of a toll booth while psychotic. I struggled with the legal ramifications of it for 3 years. I struggled with the medication I had to take because I was legally required to. I struggled with everything they told me I had to do or else I could have gone to jail. It fucking sucked. I saw no end to it in sight, i really didn't. But an end did come. 5 years later I'm off of the medication I had to take and I feel depressed every few days but I feel like I'm alive again. I feel like I was in a coma for 5 fucking years and now all I want to do is experience everything I missed.
I'm just saying, don't give up. To everyone here, don't give up. It can get better.
MisterLuffy
Member
I just got my first job at Macy's. My first day felt crappy because the mistakes I have made and one huge one. Even though some employees helps me, but I'm not a fast learner and I don't grasp that well. I hate being reminded from those mistake since they annoy the hell out of me. I can't even help people find what they need because I'm not used to knowing where everything is specifically. My little brother works there too, and his first day went well. He told me that he had fun. I got angry because I didn't have any fun because I didn't know how to use register that well. There is so many options. I was angry with myself yesterday and shed little tears. I keep telling myself that I'm the biggest idiot in the world. I feel like crap last week and this week. I keep feeling that my life is going to be like crap. I don't like me. That's not only it, I'm not doing well with my Visual Basic class. I can't code for sh**. I feel miserable everyday, and it's not fun.
were you diagnosed at 11?
they normally don't give you antidepressants until you're 18, as its not safe to mess with growing human brains.
im also 26, and don't see anything improving unless the actual treatment for it changes.
You just suddenly stopped being depressed? you didn't really explain how you got out of it.
I know plenty of people who required antidepressants younger than that (15/16ish), so "normal" is pretty relative.
American doctors love to prescribe pills, or so I hear, and self medicating seems to be a real thing there.
Im saying that its not a safe practice, and it would have to be pretty severe for them to conclude that.
they told me many times of the potential problems when I first took them at 16
When my sister was diagnosed with Diabetes she fell into REALLY strong depression and had to be hospitalized (since that kinda diagnosis tends to really mess with you) and she was prescribed antidepressants when she was 16. I like to think they saved her life, since she only really was able to start dealing and getting used to the Diabetes once she'd overcome the depression. Now she's handling both very well.
EDIT: She's 20 now, still on/off on antidepressants.
One of our friends had diabetes
the type where you have to give yourself injections all the time
she reacted to it a different way and killed herself around 8 years ago
im still never sure if antidepressants are a good choice in the long run
actually I know 4 people that have offed themselves
makes me wonder how im still here
yeah that's the kind where you get diagnosed when you're young.
I'm not saying it's a great choice in the long run, but sometimes it's the only choice you have.
Because there's always something worth living for. Other people. Happiness. Cats.
from experience, once people have gone through psychosis to the point of needing rehabilitation (ie. myself and a bunch of people I know) they never improve, or the improvement is marginal and temporary. It may or may not be easier to do with depression alone.
stats said:
there is definitely something about this country
on further research it may have something to do with both this
possibly also related to the high level of alcohol consumption
getting into a new job like that is tough. you cant expect to rock it on your first day, there's gonna be a learning curve. i worked in a grocery store for a long time, and even years into my employment somebody would be like "where's ______ at?" and i'd have no idea lolz. you'll learn.
i feel your pain with the cash register thing too..at my job i've been kinda moving from actually making food to taking orders, and i have a helluva time with money/cash registers. it's frustrating, but i'm getting better at it. don't be too hard on yourself.
It feels like I've alternated between two distinct phases in my life- one where I'm actively shaping myself as a person and experiencing life, and another where I just watch everything go by me as a spectator. I'm definitely in the second one right about now.
I feel like I have absolutely no idea what the fuck im doing when it comes to my job or my schoolwork, and that I just bullshit my way through it with some degree of success. I've gone from being confident and carefree in social situations to being critical about every move I make. It seems like I'm always being talked over or I'm just listening to a conversation instead of participating in it. I cannot stop thinking about my ex, not really in the sense that I miss her but just feeling really wronged by the shit I put up with. I definitely miss being close to someone as well.
Something's gotta change, but I don't know what. I wish I could just move out already :/
I feel like I have absolutely no idea what the fuck im doing when it comes to my job or my schoolwork, and that I just bullshit my way through it with some degree of success. I've gone from being confident and carefree in social situations to being critical about every move I make. It seems like I'm always being talked over or I'm just listening to a conversation instead of participating in it. I cannot stop thinking about my ex, not really in the sense that I miss her but just feeling really wronged by the shit I put up with. I definitely miss being close to someone as well.
Something's gotta change, but I don't know what. I wish I could just move out already :/
Prax
Member
Yeah, but the BEST STUFF is always deep down in there on the brink of the abyss! I don't know one delve's into that without being affected (starting to question the meaning of life, doubting everything you know, etc), so maybe it's inevitable.. But a lot of the time, it seems worth it to me. Maybe I got my priorities all mixed up. lolIt is a big price to pay at times, but sometimes you don't have to dwell that deep to be creative.
Combining and thinking of new ways on how things worked sometimes is enough.
I actually do that as well, when it came to writing for an old novel series. I created characters that were apart of my deepest darkest emotions or characteristics. I'm glad you like your characters you make. I don't like mine
Funny enough, you were actually close to what the music in the game is for.
I can't give out what exactly since it spoilers to people who haven't played it, but I'm surprised at your analysis! It's pretty amazing
Well, I don't just throw in ONLY terrible things, I suppose... Because I have to make the characters entertaining to me too lol (otherwise they get deleted/abandoned, and I don't want that...). Even if I try to make awful, annoying, or manipulative characters, I think I end up appreciating how interesting they make the overall scene or how entertaining their interaction with the other characters are. I think maybe that's a good way to think of your less desirable aspects. They exist, and you can appreciate them for being necessary to the plot that is your life, even though it maybe necessary to defeat or overcome their villainy in the end.
(And you can write tragedies, but that doesn't necessarily mean you have to make that your life).I was close?! AWESOME! XD Maybe the music is just that good at describing the scene then. This is kind of why I wish I could make music videos and vid like Fiction does. The things I would attempt to put together if only I had the skill and patience!
Don't you go slipping into solipsism now!
Anyway, I think you are still around because you are strong and you still have the will in you to live and experience things (and you see the pointlessness of ending it anytime soon if you don't have to anyway).
I have always figured that I'm alive right now, so why not just keep going? If it all needs to end one day, it will. But I'm going to milk it for all I can because existence is brief but rare and I might as well be selfish about it (no one cares if you are selfish about existing).
I always kind of say that in a resignation and as a joke. It kind of eases the burden of responsibility off of me.. the feeling that you must try to make your world perfect and happy and yourself amazing. LIFE IS HARD so it's OKAY if I can't get all of it right.
It's good to hear that you have a supportive family with you and you can be there for one another. It's always hard seeing people you love and care about go off in difficult or wrong directions. Life is hard and usually weird. You don't have to be responsible for everything being perfect. Just try your best and be there for your family. I hope things get better for you all.
I very much agree with this. Depression sometimes makes people go into an all-or-nothing mode. Life isn't all or nothing. It's also not a zero-sum game. There will be ups and downs and nagging doubts, but that is okay. Just keep moving and doing your best.
Take small steps. Revel in tiny, even microscopic victories. And your losses/slip-ups/mistakes do not erase your victories and gains.
Retail is kind of awful (especially for people with social anxiety), so I know how you feel.
But you will get better and more used to it over time. Try not to dwell so much on the mistakes. My mindset is that everyone makes the mistakes and the company will absorb the damage in their accounting somehow. >_> That's what the managers or whatever are for. You're still new and in training so they should expect it. Just remind yourself when a situation comes up that the mistake can happen and circumvent it.
You'll remember more product and be more confident over time. I know customers might get annoyed at first, but ignore it and just say you're new or will ask someone else who knows. As long as you're nice and smile and try, then whatever! Everyone else can be patient (maybe I am just a bad retail person though hahaha, oh well!).
Hopefully you have deleted everything about your ex and stuff as a first step to stop thinking about her. The rest just needs time and new distractions, like hobbies or new girls.
Maybe the moving out will help you slip back into actor mode instead of spectator mode. How long do you have until that happens?
I was on paxil at 11 or 12. Effexor after that. I tried out a few others too that I can't even remember because of how young I was. I was diagnosed with a some anxiety disorders at that age (separation anxiety, social anxiety) and depression. I completely stopped going to school at 13 and became home schooled. I found out I was bipolar a few months before my 21st birthday when I had a manic episode with psychotic features.
I really couldn't tell you what sparked my change, I guess I kind of just started to try the things therapists had been telling me through out the years but thought were dumb. The anxiety workbook, and CBT have helped a lot. Keeping a journal has helped me out a lot.
My anxiety is still horrible a lot of the time. I never got over my separation anxiety really, I just transferred it over from my mother to the women I get into relationships with which can be terrible. If I spend the weekend with someone I'm dating when it comes time to leave I feel incredibly depressed.
My social anxiety has gotten better but its still there, I just try to push myself through the feelings. I tell myself no one else can tell I'm panicking right now, you'll be fine, push through. I stopped putting myself down and started pushing myself up.
My depression can still hit me hard on any given day but I've learned how to bring myself out of it. I know certain things I do will push me deeper into it so I try not to do them.
First of all: Happy thanksgiving, depressed US people!
I've added a bunch of new skype contacts! You guys are awesome. I'm ending up feeling less alone! I'm making some amazing friends!
I'll have another new interview up soon. After that, I might try to organize a round-table about relationships and depression. I have several people, single and in relationships, interested in participating.
I've added a bunch of new skype contacts! You guys are awesome. I'm ending up feeling less alone! I'm making some amazing friends!
I'll have another new interview up soon. After that, I might try to organize a round-table about relationships and depression. I have several people, single and in relationships, interested in participating.
such a good word. if yallz dont know this word go look it up right now.
That's pretty awesome, actually.
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
lowrider007
Licorice-flavoured booze?
Second week of trying to give up alcohol and it's very hard going, I'm only trying to persevere because I promised my Doctor but I need something to help me cope with this reality, I need SOMETHING, it's too painful otherwise, I've never considered self harming before but I can't help feeling it would help but I know if I start it could become a habit, I think maybe drinking is a lessor evil.
There is no real help out there for stupid people like myself, if your cursed with a low IQ or poor working memory (or even both) your doomed, people don't understand how debilitating it can be, if you have a missing limb you can show someone, this is a disability. but if your able bodied, not slurring your speech or dribbling into a bib people just assume your as capable as anyone, that is BULLSHIT, not being able to understand or remember simple tasks is soul destroying, you feel trapped, when I was younger I thought what the hell I'll do a crap job, wash pots and dishes, I'll be a grafter but after 17 years I'm feeling old before my time, the pride of being a grafter only carries you so far, my back is already done in, my knees are bad at 35, I'm so bloody tired, I've tried college, I've tried adult learning, my brain just doesn't get it, I'm trapped, I've had enough, I can't take it any more, people don't understand what's it's like to be stupid.
There is no real help out there for stupid people like myself, if your cursed with a low IQ or poor working memory (or even both) your doomed, people don't understand how debilitating it can be, if you have a missing limb you can show someone, this is a disability. but if your able bodied, not slurring your speech or dribbling into a bib people just assume your as capable as anyone, that is BULLSHIT, not being able to understand or remember simple tasks is soul destroying, you feel trapped, when I was younger I thought what the hell I'll do a crap job, wash pots and dishes, I'll be a grafter but after 17 years I'm feeling old before my time, the pride of being a grafter only carries you so far, my back is already done in, my knees are bad at 35, I'm so bloody tired, I've tried college, I've tried adult learning, my brain just doesn't get it, I'm trapped, I've had enough, I can't take it any more, people don't understand what's it's like to be stupid.
i feel like the world and my friends, and the things i used to love are going one way and im going the other way.
its might be life to some people but for me, its the symbol of depression. i dont drink. i dont smoke. i dont go out with many people. i dont use sex as a toy...
but when i try to make a point nobody understands me. i dont have time to show links so i give up trying to convince people im right and let them call me what they call me.
its might be life to some people but for me, its the symbol of depression. i dont drink. i dont smoke. i dont go out with many people. i dont use sex as a toy...
but when i try to make a point nobody understands me. i dont have time to show links so i give up trying to convince people im right and let them call me what they call me.
Maybe you are good with arts like drawing, singing, dancing or working with your hands
I know two people personally who have recovered from severe depression and shit that you would never believe, both very important people in my life. They carry the experience forever, but that doesn't mean you can't live a good life regardless and you gotta remember we all have our bad shit to carry around even though it's not something you can diagnose.
I visited one of them over a year ago in a closed clinic and I can honestly say that I feared for this man's life at that moment. I'm so glad to see he's out of that place.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Won't apply to everyone in the thread obviously, but I found this pretty helpful
http://postmasculine.com/my-girlfriend-just-dumped-me
I think a lot of depression ends with people learning to stop being disappointed with themselves and starting to take action and change your thought process while still maintaining your own individuality.
http://postmasculine.com/my-girlfriend-just-dumped-me
I think a lot of depression ends with people learning to stop being disappointed with themselves and starting to take action and change your thought process while still maintaining your own individuality.
There's more to life than success. And belonging to the intelligentsia.
I remember walking home from work one day. It was six in the morning. And there is a caretaker on our estate working away. He said good morning, and we had a good chat as I've talked with him a few times before.
That particular morning, the birds were singing and he said he wished he knew the birds by their songs. And he was telling me this and how he was stupid and wished he had done something with his life. Instead, he said, of sweeping the brown leaves from pavements.
The thing is, he looks after the gardens, the trees, and knows more, about them then anyone else I know. As we're walking down the street, I ask him about a certain tree, and he tells me what it is and a few interesting things about it.
You'd be surprised at all the little things you may know already. I wish I could name the trees on the road I live in, and I don't.
I'm not dyslexic and I can't say that I know what living with a learning disability is like, but I know from your post, what it feels like, sometimes, for at least one person out there.
And working nights, I know what not being able to remember stuff is all about. Fortunately, during my off week, when my sleep patterns return to normal, I recover well enough, to function.
Won't apply to everyone in the thread obviously, but I found this pretty helpful
http://postmasculine.com/my-girlfriend-just-dumped-me
I think a lot of depression ends with people learning to stop being disappointed with themselves and starting to take action and change your thought process while still maintaining your own individuality.
That doesn't work for me
depression is one thing
recovering from the point of hallucinating when you're sober is a bit different
Won't apply to everyone in the thread obviously, but I found this pretty helpful
http://postmasculine.com/my-girlfriend-just-dumped-me
I think a lot of depression ends with people learning to stop being disappointed with themselves and starting to take action and change your thought process while still maintaining your own individuality.
Can we get a vote to change the word 'Depression' into something that isnt synonymous with "feeling down" for most of the world?
Dice
Pokémon Parentage Conspiracy Theorist
This helps when you are down. This thread is for depression.Won't apply to everyone in the thread obviously, but I found this pretty helpful
http://postmasculine.com/my-girlfriend-just-dumped-me
I think a lot of depression ends with people learning to stop being disappointed with themselves and starting to take action and change your thought process while still maintaining your own individuality.
Tangent: I just spent a fair amount of time reading stuff on that site and wow, that guy... no. He seems like a novice academic, like someone who has learned to finally listen to others and become familiar with subjects, yet despite familiarity (getting the gist of specifics) not truly understanding them (blowing off what isn't sensible enough to him) and thus unable to properly evaluate his level of comprehension. If you are reading that blog as some sort of guide to life, I would recommend pursuing actual academia instead.
one solution would be to stop looking at facebook profiles
are you asking if you're the only guy in the world capable of jealousy?
Nope, it's not about being jealous, anyone could argue that they actually have better lives. It's a fact.
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
Yeah. The reason I don't use it is I don't have many people to add anyways, and I have pretty interesting conversations in gaf anyways.
Sometimes I feel we don't give our lives enough credit. Just being alive is cool, really. Being able to know what going on in the world and history and stuff is cool. I wouldn't change it for death. Granted, I let depression hit me hard sometimes, but it's all part of the ups and downs.
You have hallucinated?
but we are chemically programmed to seek out the most efficient source of stimulation
watching other people roll around in that river of mental sustenance is naturally going to make you feel insufficient
Charles Foster Kane
Rosebud
If you give it too much thought it will, but why not just try to not give a fuck? I feel it works sometimes.
because we are permanently surrounded by reminders
unless you become a hermit and live in the mountaintops, but even then you would get hikers with their expensive boots and gear reminding you of civilization
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