Best exchanges in film/tv/novel history

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Batman Begins. Liam Neeson made me mad at him when he told Bale that his parent's death was his father's fault.

I can't find a good picture, but True Grit - the Campfire scene. Damon and Bridges are just getting more and more hostile to each other until the girl tries to dissolve some of the tension (and fails).
 
Most, if not all repartee between Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler in "Gone With The Wind"

The banter between James Bond and Vesper Lynd when they first met on a train in "Casino Royale".
 
Growing up with parents who have been Doctor Who fans since the beginning and being raised on re-runs of the classic shows, this confrontation between the Daleks and the Cybermen was goosebump inducing. Smacktalk across time and space.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kBSOhODoch0



There are a lot of exchanges from Blazing Saddles that are historically classic but here's the least offensive scene for today's age of political correctness gone mad. Fantastic back and forth between Cleavon Little and Gene Wilder;

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kRb3u0PtEZE
 
Crytonomicon By Neal Stephenson said:
`What do you want me to do?'' Randy asked, adopting a cold, almost hostile tone to mask sick excitement.

`Buy a ticket to Manila,'' Avi said.

`I have to talk it over with Charlene first,'' Randy said.

`You don't even believe that yourself,'' Avi said.

`Charlene and I have a long-standing relationsh--''

`It's been ten years. You haven't married her. Fill in the fucking blanks.''

(Seventy-two hours later, he would be in Manila, looking at the One-Note Flute.)
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Also, pretty much every conversation Malcolm Tucker is involved in.
 
I don't have the exact exchange but the scene with Tobias after George Micheal and Maeby go to second base were awesome
 
When Molly Grue first counters the unicorn in Peter S Beagle's The Last Unicorn

"Where have you been?" she cried. "Damn you, where have you been?" She took a few steps toward Schmendrick, but she was looking beyond him, at the unicorn.

When she tried to get by, the magician stood in her way. "You don't talk like that," he told her, still uncertain that Molly had recognized the unicorn. "Don't you know how to behave, woman? You don't curtsy, either."

But Molly pushed him aside and went up to the unicorn, scolding her as though she were a strayed milk cow. "Where have you been?" Before the whiteness and the shining horn, Molly shrank to a shrilling beetle, but this time it was the unicorn's old dark eyes that looked down.

"I am here now," she said at last.

Molly laughed with her lips flat. "And what good is it to me that you're here now? Where were you twenty years ago, ten years ago? How dare you, how dare you come to me now, when I am this?" With a flap of her hand she summed herself up: barren face, desert eyes, and yellowing heart. "I wish you had never come, why do you come now?" The tears began to slide down the sides of her nose.

The unicorn made no reply, and Schmendrick said, "She is the last. She is the last unicorn in the world."

"She would be." Molly sniffed. "It would be the last unicorn in the world that came to Molly Grue."
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There was a fantastic scene between remington & laura in an episode of remington steele

L: You're cooking!
R: Yes, so much for the element of surprise.
L: You're cooking dinner?! I never knew you cooked.
R: I was counting on the shock to weaken your defenses.
L: I just assumed that dinner meant some restaurant. I...I...I don't know what to say.
R: Say yes and let me make up the question.
L: Oh this is terrible.
R: Actually it's canard au vin rouge and the least you might do is taste it before passing judgment!
L: No, no, I only meant that you've gone to all this trouble and I came here to cancel because something's come up and I have to fill you in.
R: Cancel? You don't *cancel* canard au vin rouge!
(doorbell buzzes)
L: Oh damn, he's...he's early.
R: Oh damn, who's early?
...
R: First you deflate my duck and now you want to cook my goose. Wonderful!
...
R: Hoisted by my own canard!

The final line killed me. I also love that it didn't assume the worst of its viewers like many series do now.

Looking it up, the ep was "A Good Night's Steele".
 
Collateral:

Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy.
Max: Well, who was he?
Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda?
Max: Yes, I know Rwanda.
Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max?
Max: What?
Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit.
Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans.
Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.

or basically the entire movie.
 
This thread needs more text and less images =P

I have a soft spot for Alice in Wonderland with the cat

Alice's Adventures in Wonderland said:
Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to
Alice: I don't much care where.
The Cat: Then it doesn't much matter which way you go.
Alice: …so long as I get somewhere.
The Cat: Oh, you're sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.
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So simple, so awesome

Also, this one from MiB

MiB said:
Edwards: Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
Kay: A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
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pigeon said:
Well, the part where she implies that Closer is an awful movie with no redeeming qualities whatsoever is accurate.
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C'mon !
It has the best sex scene in cinema's history !

Devolution said:
http://i.imgur.com/BeX01.jpg

Titty in there.
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This scene right there ^
 
The opening scene of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly between Angel Eyes and the farmer. There are a lot of great exchanges in that movie, but that one is amazing.

The scene people are picking from Inglorious Basterds is a very obvious homage to it. Not as good but then it's hard to compete with how totally Van Cleef owned that role.
 
I'll have to post some from my favorite shows, since everything else I love has been mentioned:

Sherlock meets Moriarty. I wanted the 'Sherlock has tea with Moriarty' scene, but youtube failed me.

And this exchange that isn't really an exchange unless you count a body as a conversational partner. From Buffy
when she finds her mom's body
 
Count of Monte Sawed-Off said:
Collateral:

Vincent: Max, six billion people on the planet, you're getting bent out of shape cause of one fat guy.
Max: Well, who was he?
Vincent: What do you care? Have you ever heard of Rwanda?
Max: Yes, I know Rwanda.
Vincent: Well, tens of thousands killed before sundown. Nobody's killed people that fast since Nagasaki and Hiroshima. Did you bat an eye, Max?
Max: What?
Vincent: Did you join Amnesty International, Oxfam, Save the Whales, Greenpeace, or something? No. I off one fat Angelino and you throw a hissy fit.
Max: Man, I don't know any Rwandans.
Vincent: You don't know the guy in the trunk, either.

or basically the entire movie.
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Vincent: Look in the mirror. Paper towels, clean cab. Limo company some day. How much you got saved?
Max: That ain't any of your business.
Vincent: Someday? Someday my dream will come? One night you will wake up and discover it never happened. It's all turned around on you. It never will. Suddenly you are old. Didn't happen, and it never will, because you were never going to do it anyway. You'll push it into memory and then zone out in your barco lounger, being hypnotized by daytime TV for the rest of your life. Don't you talk to me about murder. All it ever took was a down payment on a Lincoln town car. That girl,you can't even call that girl. What the fuck are you still doing driving a cab?
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seriously amazing screenplay
 
She noticed the book he was carrying. "What are you reading?"
He showed it to her.
"The Life of Napoleon?"
"That's right."
"Why him?"
"Why not - he was great, wasn't he?"
"Others were in better ways."
"I'll read about them too," Frank said.
"Do you read a lot?"
"Sure. I am a curious guy. I like to know why people tick. I like to know the reason they do the things they do, if you know what I mean."
She said she did.
He asked her what book she was reading.
"The Idiot. Do you know it?"
"No. What's it about?"
"It's a novel."
"I'd rather read the truth," he said.
"It is the truth."
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.
 
Can't believe I didn't post this earlier.

heat-1995.jpg
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Heat

Vincent Hanna: My life's a disaster zone. I got a stepdaughter so fucked up because her real father's this large-type asshole. I got a wife, we're passing each other on the down-slope of a marriage - my third - because I spend all my time chasing guys like you around the block. That's my life.

Neil McCauley: A guy told me one time, "Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner." Now, if you're on me and you gotta move when I move, how do you expect to keep a... a marriage?

Vincent Hanna: What are you, a monk?

Neil McCauley: I have a woman.

Vincent Hanna: What do you tell her?

Neil McCauley: I tell her I'm a salesman.

Vincent Hanna: So then, if you spot me coming around that corner... you just gonna walk out on this woman? Not say good bye?

Neil McCauley: That's the discipline.

Vincent Hanna: That's pretty vacant, you know.

Neil McCauley: Yeah, it is what it is. It's that or we both better go do something else, pal.

Vincent Hanna: I don't know how to do anything else.

Neil McCauley: Neither do I.

Vincent Hanna: I don't much want to either.

Neil McCauley: Neither do I.


Vincent Hanna: You know, we are sitting here, you and I, like a couple of regular fellas. You do what you do, and I do what I gotta do. And now that we've been face to face, if I'm there and I gotta put you away, I won't like it. But I tell you, if it's between you and some poor bastard whose wife you're gonna turn into a widow, brother, you are going down.

Neil McCauley: There is a flip side to that coin. What if you do got me boxed in and I gotta put you down? Cause no matter what, you will not get in my way. We've been face to face, yeah. But I will not hesitate. Not for a second.
 
SIR TOBY BELCH
Good night, Penthesilea.

SIR ANDREW
Before me, she's a good wench.

SIR TOBY BELCH
She's a beagle, true-bred, and one that adores me:
what o' that?

SIR ANDREW
I was adored once too.

Twelfth Night
(not my favourite rendition, but it will suffice)

A raw and devastating expression of sadness and loss. And it's found in one of Shakespeare's best comedies. What the fuck man. I shouldn't feel sorry for Andrew Aguecheek of all people, but I do.
 
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