Mmhmm... Especially right now... I am just going through the motions.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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Mmhmm... Especially right now... I am just going through the motions.
GillianSeed79
Member
Right now, my health has got me really depressed. I was diagnosed with Hidradenitis-Suppurativa a few years ago in my mid-20s. At first the flare ups were like once a year and I was such a pussy I insisted on being knocked out to ease the pain. A few $2,000 hospital bills later and I've learned to cope with the pain. This past year, though, it's been constant. Every other month. I went to see a specialist and even after taking anti-biotic after anti-biotic it still comes back. These past two days at work have been hell. I've felt like a pain-induced zombie watching with envy at my co-workers that are healthy. I couldn't even put a belt on this morning I was in so much pain and by the end of the night I had to go in the office bathroom just so I could slowly put my coat on without yelping.
I'm hoping to see my new doc tommorow, but it's getting really, really hard to deal with this. I don't know if I can deal with a new normal of being physical pain 50 percent of the year. I'm fine, though. It could be worse I guess, but why do I get all the diseases no one has ever heard about?
I'm hoping to see my new doc tommorow, but it's getting really, really hard to deal with this. I don't know if I can deal with a new normal of being physical pain 50 percent of the year. I'm fine, though. It could be worse I guess, but why do I get all the diseases no one has ever heard about?
PumpkinPie
Banned
Good
it's annoying.No need for anyone to worry here, but I always planned to off myself after Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really miserable about it, in fact the thought of it is comforting. I'm just tired of failing as a human being TBH.
I've been cutting myself lately, and tonight was the first time it wouldn't stop bleeding. Felt good in a way: a righteous punishment for a failure of a man. Bandaged it up as best I could whilst drunk.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Good
No need for anyone to worry here, but I always planned to off myself after Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really miserable about it, in fact the thought of it is comforting. I'm just tired of failing as a human being TBH.
I've been cutting myself lately, and tonight was the first time it wouldn't stop bleeding. Felt good in a way: a righteous punishment for a failure of a man. Bandaged it up as best I could whilst drunk.
I've never cut myself, so it's hard to put myself in your shoes or look at things from your POV.
But everything you just said is completely melodramatic and irrational, and you seriously need immediate help.
You stated in a previous post that you were just put on medication. That's good, it might not help but you're trying. Chances are the bottle the medication comes in says something along the lines of "Do not take alcohol with this medicine." Alcohol is a depressant, and while it doesn't cause every depressed person to worsen their symptoms, what you're describing by getting drunk on consecutive days is abuse which IS linked to depression. The alcohol will also probably interfere with your meds, so if you're not feeling any better by Christmas, you won't be able to tell if you need to switch to a different med, dosage, or drop it altogether, because alcohol will be a factor.
There's nothing righteous about harming yourself because you hate yourself. I mean it's your life, but if you have the ability to hurt yourself more often than not you have the ability to help yourself.
I recommend taking a walk, smoking a cig, and thinking about how you wanna fix your life. Check yourself in a hospital as a last resort if you can't be alone and have nobody to confide in other than gaf. I hope you get better
and you definitely can whether you believe me or not.Damn that sucks. I feel bad for young people (well anyone) who get random diseases that fuck with their lives. I've never heard of that disease. Hope you find a treatment that works for you.
scar tissue
Banned
I have a hard time relating to the people who get suicidal because of relationship problems, or who are suicidal despite having the support of a loving partner. I've always been alone and I'm doing fine. Well not fine maybe, but I'm still alive, without any meaningful support by a SO.
Not saying these people don't have valid problems, but on an emotional level, I can't relate at all.
fierrotlepou
Member
Thanks guys.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
I'm going to stop citalopram cold turkey. I'm on my 4th week of 10mg (which the doctor has increased to 20mg this week) and my desire to exercise has gone, I'm tired most of the time and my mind is foggy. Those problems aren't acceptable in my opinion.
Where will you be taking it?
Collete
Member
Yeah it is like that for me too.
One possible explanation is because my mother is around in the evening and starts to annoy me with everything about how much my life sucks and crap.
What happened? I liked the smileyface much better in your previous post. :x
Sorry I had to log off after I posted that.
I'm just starting to realize I'm really a lost cause without any real medical/psychological treatment...
My notion of "don't bother people, give them a break" worsened last night and I started making small holes in my arms...
I had to contact two friends last night, but I felt like shit because I knew I was bothering them and I felt horrible and guilty....*sigh*
Another wasted day. Can't find the motivation to do anything mildly productive. Husband has some christmas thing at work and will not be home till midnight so the evening will be spend not doing anything, too. Worst part is that if he were here I know that I'd rather be alone.
Yep...
I'm kind of stuck between "I want to be normal and be loved by someone" and "men terrify me because I know they're just going to hurt me and laugh at me".
So really...just never going to happen.
Collete
Member
Well it is the christmas spirit as of late, not in the mood to make any christmas cookies?
Or just watch a cooking channel with people making them?
(I dunno it always perks me up a little to do something)
Sadly no cooking channels here. Started doing the dishes, so at least I can say I got something done today. But maybe tomorrow I'll bake some cookies...I don't even like cookies (or most sweets for that matter), but I like baking, and I can give them away as presents. I could try to hit the bed early today but since I slept basically all day I would just end up tossing and turning around, like always. It just sucks, because I have literally hundreds of games to play, movies/tv-shows to watch books to read, and what not, but when I try to find something that I really want to do, my mind just draws a blank. So instead I either lie down and sleep or pace up and down like a freaking zoo animal listening to Tool.
Collete
Member
You just described me, no joke lol.
I also have hundreds of games to play and stuff, I just have no interest when it comes to do any of that stuff.
I really have to force myself to do the activity because I know my mind will refuse to even do it and think "why bother".
Maybe a suggestion on the reading part, start by reading one single page a day. Maybe it will help you pick up reading more often later.
Always small steps get the bigger gains later down the line.
Every single days. It hurts to crush like I am know because the person is doing exactly what I expect him to do.
I live in a fucking fairy tale world. I've been starved for affection my whole life that I long for it. But on the other hand, it is easier to feel lonely with myself than to feel lonely because of the actions of someone else.
Oh, I have no problem reading for hours, once I pick up the damn book. It just the picking up part that is getting harder and harder of late. Maybe I'll write some games, movies, books on some pieces of paper and blindly draw one. Whatever I draw I have to do. No excuses!
Edit: Guess I'm gonna watch Garden State then.
Yep... I've long since stopped crushing on guys ("stupid stupid stupid") and I'm trying to kill the last of my sex drive lol.
I know I wouldn't be able to be in a stable relationship anyway. I don't think there's anything a guy could do to make me trust him enough that I could be normal around him. I'd always be guarded ("he's going to call me a mistake soon, I know it"), I'd never be able to sleep with him ("he'd just call me a mistake after and leave me")... Etc.
It's pretty miserable...but it's better than getting hurt.
Collete
Member
I go through periods where I do great just talking, and then all of a sudden one or two of them completely throw me for a damn loop and I turn into this mess...
I've been in two relationships that were both fairly unstable and did a number on me. One for 2 1/2 years and the other for 9 months. I am in a "relationship" right now that has been going on for 3 years. While great, it is not ideal for various reasons.
I agree about the trust issue... It takes a lot to get me to trust someone, and a lot of times that trust never comes because I am so hypersensitive to a lot of things.
Heh that's a good way to do it
Wish I had your motivation.
Have fun!
Well, maybe you should give it a try, too.
I've been in two "relationships" (not really) that basically ruined me. Haha.
So yeah...been working for the past eight years to try to stop caring about it but I guess it doesn't work... It just bothers me that I'm a 25 year old virgin who gets called fat, ugly, gross, a mistake, etc etc etc and it's just never going to happen. I just want to be normal, have someone love me, but it won't happen and while it's men who made me this way, it's my fault too, cause I'll never be able to trust them, I have no self esteem, etc etc.
Sigh. Like I said...miserable. But I'd rather be miserable like this than being hurt over and over.
Someday, I'll let go of the wanting to have a relationship, then I can just be alone and okay.
Anyway I'm supposed to be finding a phrase for my therapist that will help me with the "I'm a mistake" thing, but I can't think of anything that isn't a lie. :/
Collete
Member
Maybe I will!
(Probably not today since I have to go out, but tomorrow sounds like a good start
)Mecha_Infantry
Banned
You can see my issue that I'm struggling with...
I have to be careful with things now- because my "career" is in a field of work where mental health issues are frowned upon. I've spent ages trying to get into the field and I just don't feel I can talk to anyone medically or take anything they might subcribe me to.
Does anyone know how it could affect security clearance?
i nerini del buio
Member
No, it's ONLY your fault. I know how you feel and I know what it means to prefer feeling alone by yourself rather than feeling alone because of other people's actions and the truth is it's just all in your head. It's a matter of unrealistic expectations and you being self-destructive and depressed and by the way life is not black and white. There are infinite shades of gray between being just acquaintances and OMG he/she's the one. Sry for the shitty english I'm on the phone and in a hurry! I love you guys don't be too sad <3
I've been in two "relationships" (not really) that basically ruined me. Haha.
So yeah...been working for the past eight years to try to stop caring about it but I guess it doesn't work... It just bothers me that I'm a 25 year old virgin who gets called fat, ugly, gross, a mistake, etc etc etc and it's just never going to happen. I just want to be normal, have someone love me, but it won't happen and while it's men who made me this way, it's my fault too, cause I'll never be able to trust them, I have no self esteem, etc etc.
Sigh. Like I said...miserable. But I'd rather be miserable like this than being hurt over and over.
Someday, I'll let go of the wanting to have a relationship, then I can just be alone and okay.
Anyway I'm supposed to be finding a phrase for my therapist that will help me with the "I'm a mistake" thing, but I can't think of anything that isn't a lie. :/
The fear of failure stifles productivity, whether that manifests in the form of creativity, sex or relationships.
All of the above. That's also one of my fears, failure. I'm already a huge failure so I don't want even more piled on top again and again.
Lol, my list.
-fear of men and relationships ("ugly, fat, mistake")
-fear of failure (jobs, relationships, drawing)
-self esteem (-10000)
-issues with sex (I'm pretty sure now that being told "that was a huge mistake!" for a year every time this guy even touched me probably has screwed me up in this way... I do think it's a mistake for me... And I kind of hate myself for having even a low sex drive at all. Trying to rid myself of it)
-dysthymia? (Maybe...I should get tested for it, cause it definitely sounds plausible)
1) That test needs to die in a fire. Why has that become the gold-standard in this thread? It's driving me crazy! The differential diagnosis is especially idiotic. The questions are fine for generally saying, "should i ask a professional if this might be depression?" But if you look at the differential, there are basically two questions for each major category (in addition to the traditional SIGECAPS questions). So for port-partum depression, it asks if you're a)female and b)have children. One immediate problem: if your kid is 25, you do NOT have post-partum depression.
For SAD, it's a)what season makes you feel worst (Winter>Fall>Spring>Summer, presumably) and, b) "do you live in the Northern hemisphere?" Does that seem entirely sufficient to you?
If you say you've had hallucinations, your bipolar "score" is presumably going to skyrocket. If you told a doctor that you've had a hallucination, you're off to the races with a huge differential, with wildly different things to rule out. If your friend told me "I had a hallucination yesterday," what are you going to ask, and did this test ask it? Unless your first thought is "what hemisphere to do you live in?!" this test fails even that standard.
2 As to my claim about coffee, I really tried to bring out the distinctions between my two main points: 1) caffeine (through adenosine receptors) can impact normal and abnormal physiology AND 2) if you look at large populations, people who use caffeine tend to suffer from less depression. There are biological mechanisms to make caffeine slow you down AND speed you up, on top of individual variations in the degree of those responses. So it's no surprise that some people find that coffee makes them calmer and happier while others go nuts with irritability and anxiety. Or that different doses of caffeine can have different effects. Totally fair points. But, in epidemiological terms, regular coffee drinkers tend to have less depression than people who do not drink coffee (the data is all for coffee because that's what the study populations drink). This is a general trend and is by no means true for everyone (or perhaps all populations? Most studies, as tends to be the case, concern richer white folks, who I think we can all agree need to be studied the most as their healthcare is just that much more important*). It's just a trend. Not everyone who does heroin becomes addicted, people who exercise and eat right drop dead of heart attacks, not all smokers get cancer, and on and on.
I personally do not drink coffee; it makes me too jittery. But that depends a lot on external factors. I'll drink coffee all day when I'm staying somewhere with other coffee drinkers, feel great, and sleep like a baby. At home, an afternoon soda can ruin my night. I really can't make any general statement about what caffeine does to my own mood. I just reported what the available data says is generally true.
Also, I just want to point out that it's not a paper (which would presumably represent individual research) - it's a book chapter (summarizing a large body of research). And the chapter does cover research that contradicts the general thinking about depression, anxiety, and caffeine.
And, whatever it is, I'm personally insulted you haven't read it.
*that was a joke.
Maybe I will!
(Probably not today since I have to go out, but tomorrow sounds like a good start
Yeah, tomorrow always does sound like a good start
I'm gonna bake tomorrow.Snkfanatic
Banned
I also checked that test out.
I thought that I may be bipolar and while this isn't a solid confirmation it does show it. My Father is on medication for depression and I have always felt depressed most of my life. Ugh
I thought that I may be bipolar and while this isn't a solid confirmation it does show it. My Father is on medication for depression and I have always felt depressed most of my life. Ugh
Do you think there is some truth to 'his' name calling?
Could 'he' not be mistaken in his judgement?
Or luckily you'll come to terms with the fact that those guys were assholes, and not a proper representation of the male sex. I hope one day you're able to leave it behind, to realise that in those relationships there actually was one person who was a mistake, and it wasn't you.I've been in two "relationships" (not really) that basically ruined me. Haha.
So yeah...been working for the past eight years to try to stop caring about it but I guess it doesn't work... It just bothers me that I'm a 25 year old virgin who gets called fat, ugly, gross, a mistake, etc etc etc and it's just never going to happen. I just want to be normal, have someone love me, but it won't happen and while it's men who made me this way, it's my fault too, cause I'll never be able to trust them, I have no self esteem, etc etc.
Sigh. Like I said...miserable. But I'd rather be miserable like this than being hurt over and over.
Someday, I'll let go of the wanting to have a relationship, then I can just be alone and okay.
Anyway I'm supposed to be finding a phrase for my therapist that will help me with the "I'm a mistake" thing, but I can't think of anything that isn't a lie. :/
You're better than them. You're here, fighting that shit, trying to overcome your issues, issues that they helped create, and they're the ones who seem to take pleasure in insulting and degrading a young girl. So yeah, I wish you realise you're not a mistake, you never were. And I don't think shutting yourself off is going to help you in the long run. Not everyone is out to make you feel bad, in fact they're the exception. Unfortunately it's really hard to trust anyone after what you've been through, but I believe you can do it.
Yup, I'm terrible at giving advice, specially given my almost zero experience with relationships (forever alone here), but I sincerely hope you can get better, and learn that whatever those guys may have said isn't the truth, just the words from some inconsiderate assholes.
like leeness' posts for example, and a bunch of others that mirror this type of attitude.
where bright young people feel that their life has been "ruined" or "fucked up" and there's no coming back from it. no chance for redemption because of something bad that happened in the past.
that's bullshit.
it's never too late for anybody to say "i'm going to change things". i've been a fuck up for a lot of my life, i've done some terrible things and had terrible things done to me. i'll carry those things with me forever, but they can't get in the way of a positive future. so some dude banged you and said you were a piece of garbage. realize that there are people in the world who, for example, had their FAMILY MURDERED and have been able to put their lives back together. i think you can get over whatever you've got going on.
where bright young people feel that their life has been "ruined" or "fucked up" and there's no coming back from it. no chance for redemption because of something bad that happened in the past.
that's bullshit.
it's never too late for anybody to say "i'm going to change things". i've been a fuck up for a lot of my life, i've done some terrible things and had terrible things done to me. i'll carry those things with me forever, but they can't get in the way of a positive future. so some dude banged you and said you were a piece of garbage. realize that there are people in the world who, for example, had their FAMILY MURDERED and have been able to put their lives back together. i think you can get over whatever you've got going on.
Prax
Member
Well, I don't control you, but can I can chime in and tell you not to do it?Good
No need for anyone to worry here, but I always planned to off myself after Christmas. Don't get me wrong, I'm not really miserable about it, in fact the thought of it is comforting. I'm just tired of failing as a human being TBH.
I've been cutting myself lately, and tonight was the first time it wouldn't stop bleeding. Felt good in a way: a righteous punishment for a failure of a man. Bandaged it up as best I could whilst drunk.
Also, you don't need to punish yourself for anything. I used to think like that somewhat (I always though I fluked my way through life and that I needed to handicap myself in some way, as if I deserved it or somehow made it more "fair"--self-sabotage and all that). Life already does a good job of punishing you, and you're not getting "extra credit" by adding to it.
Anyway, hope you start feeling better about the prospect of things to look forward to in life. Even if it's the next cool movie or more pictures of Mars. Even apparently frivolous reasons can be good reasons.
I think it's a little hard to relate to people and their problems when you have your own anyway. Any illness or large issue can make a person turn more insular.
What's important though is to try to remain compassionate. You may not completely understand or be able to sympathize, but you know the other person has troubles too and are suffering and likely doesn't want to suffer. That's probably the most basic form of respect that anyone would want, whether you can relate to them or not.
Shouldn't you at least inform your doctor of your intention to do so? Or at least have them tapering off your dosages to prevent a huge withdrawal?
Is it possible for you to tell her that you're not in the mood to hear this stuff from her or that it isn't helpful to you? >_> I know it's sometimes difficult to ask to be treated respectfully from a parent (mine always threw the "well, I'm your mother/I only say it because I care/If you loved me, then you..." stuff), but you might need to just air your point of view and let them mull on that while you escape and do your own thing or something.
I think that if it's impossible for you to get the professional help you need, you might have to look into self-help books and try to swallow some of what they suggest. Even if the majority of them seem to be written "for morons", maybe it's better if you just think of it as "they are trying to help very confused people who find it hard to even think clearly, but there is some good advice in here that even I could use."
In the meantime, you can play some games or read and feel productive about that. Leisure activities aren't a waste of time if they help build your good mood!
But you can't let them rule over you forever!I've been in two "relationships" (not really) that basically ruined me. Haha.
So yeah...been working for the past eight years to try to stop caring about it but I guess it doesn't work... It just bothers me that I'm a 25 year old virgin who gets called fat, ugly, gross, a mistake, etc etc etc and it's just never going to happen. I just want to be normal, have someone love me, but it won't happen and while it's men who made me this way, it's my fault too, cause I'll never be able to trust them, I have no self esteem, etc etc.
Sigh. Like I said...miserable. But I'd rather be miserable like this than being hurt over and over.
Someday, I'll let go of the wanting to have a relationship, then I can just be alone and okay.
Anyway I'm supposed to be finding a phrase for my therapist that will help me with the "I'm a mistake" thing, but I can't think of anything that isn't a lie. :/
And besides all that, nothing wrong with being a virgin for life if you're content about it! I totalllyyyyy have moments where I think that would be an awesome idea. But having a libido ain't a bad thing either and there are plenty of ways to relieve that that doesn't require immediately dealing with people while you're not ready. lol
How about instead of "I'm a mistake", turn it to "Eh, people make mistakes." (and they do, all the time!). Relationships usually don't work out, anyway. The relationship was a mistake for you too. It happens and you don't need to be perfect because no one is.
I feel like you take the mistake thing personally into your core, as if him saying that questioned your right to exist. He probably didn't mean that on a metaphysical level, and he also probably didn't know what he was saying and he sounds like a poopface anyway. >_>
It sounds to me like you feel that the pain you know (misery form loneliness) is better than the pain you don't know (rejection/whatever else a relationship might bring), due to the predictable nature of it.
I think it's all kind of on the same level in the end though. Might as well take your chances when you got the energy. I think people take failing too seriously these days. I am a huge coward when it comes to failing too, but there comes a point where all that failing and flailing doesn't even matter. You just do what you can and congratulate yourself on the effort anyway, whatever the outcome.
Also, in a philosophical/theorizing level, anyone here also feel like depression is like.. a defense mechanism stuck in a loop?
When I hear about people in depression, it always sounds like they withdraw in order to protect themselves from overstimulation in the world (e.g. from being hurt physically or emotionally and also from acting out totally irrationally in aggression/violence). That's normal. People do that. They get overwhelmed with the crap going on in their lives, then shrink away and get unmotivated to stop themselves from lashing out, and then when the dust has settled, they can get out of that mode and resume with whatever they need to do.
But then people can also get stuck in that defensive loop when all the immediate "danger" has already subsided, and then the end state is depression. I think self-hate is partially the build up of frustration from being stuck in that loop. It gets so bad, it's like an animal wanting to gnaw its own foot off in order to escape a trap. The point is though, people likely want to escape and live to tell the story.
Why do you put quotes around he? Lol.
It is the truth though
I mean... I'm the common element, so it's something wrong with me, whether it's because I'm hideous, or a mistake or whatever. :/I know I'm a terrible person for feeling like this over something so dumb
And he didn't have sex with me. He thought I was too ugly for that. He did point out women he thought were pretty enough though.
I can't turn it around cause it would be a lie if I did.
I am a mistake and I know I always will be. There are things about me that maybe I can fix but that isn't one of them.
And I'm not content with being a virgin for life but I have to come to terms with it cause that's how it's gonna be. Haha
Lord Ghirahim
Member
I haven't decided yet, looking at my options. I'm in Greece and it's fortunately still legal here. The one "treatment centre" I know of in my town is run by some guy whose reputation seems to be less than stellar. I might just import the thing myself eventually.
Why do you put quotes around he? Lol.
Apologies. I don't know whether they were a he or a she, and which pronoun I should be referring too. I think I recall you from the girls thread; but If anybody should doubt their own memory, it ought to be me.
I know I'm a terrible person for feeling like this over something so dumb
And he didn't have sex with me. He thought I was too ugly for that. He did point out women he thought were pretty enough though.
you're not terrible for feeling like that, you're just frustrating. you have the potential to be an awesome, successful, happy woman and you're holding yourself back with an "i'm a victim" type attitude. you're so young. you have so much more time. it doesn't need to be wasted dwelling on the shittiness of the past.
let's say we met in a coffee shop today, randomly, as strangers and i smiled at you and said hello. i don't know you, i don't know about your past. to me, none of that shit exists. to me, you can be whoever you want. you can be the smart, funny, attractive person that you really are, or you can be the damaged goods that you feel like you are. it's up to you. you can be a new person every day.
Prax
Member
How is that a lie? He's a mistake too from what I gather. And people do make mistakes all the time. Also, don't be too proud to be wrong in your negative "beliefs" about yourself. Of all the things to be stubborn about, that is not one of the things you have to be!I can't turn it around cause it would be a lie if I did.
There are things about me that maybe I can fix but that isn't one of them.
And I'm not content with being a virgin for life but I have to come to terms with it cause that's how it's gonna be. Haha
You're the common element out of a sample size of.. two.. I think you realize how irrational that sounds. (Besides that, most people have had at least 2-3 bad relationships in life, and they technically are the common element in theirs too. I think you know how pointless it is to engage in that kind of thinking, because it's both not helpful and disingenuous as an argument--also, he still sounds like a poopface... lol)
I have a friend that had very similar views about herself despite the fact of how awesome she actually is. She had maybe 3 relationships that didn't work out and suddenly she's doomed for life from finding happiness. But after slowly getting out of that mode of thinking, she is trying to date again. I get that dating and meeting new people is hard stuff, especially if you still need to work on yourself when it comes to your depression, but you do what you can, and you keep yourself open to the good things in life if they come your way.
Don't get stuck in a catastrophic thinking / defensive loop! Fixating on that also won't help, so small steps at a time, I guess. Work on what you can and eventually let those good things become leverage to pry at the deeper problem areas.
Yeah, depression and any kind of mental illness is weird that way, but if I think of it as a glitch in the program of survival, it makes more sense to me. XD
I think it's hard to be around people who are depressed because a lot of the time, it becomes a negative-feedback loop, and it takes a long time to find a way to break out of that. --And there's the danger of agreeing and falling into that loop too. Plus it doesn't help that depression sometimes makes people think really irrational and there's no way to reason with a person when they are that deep down sometimes. That is probably when talking doesn't work and you need to just take action (activities could help!).
. There is a lot of truth in this.
I am sorry for what men in the past have done to you (or others) Leeness, but they are NOT representatives of our gender. They are a small minority of douches. THEY are the ones who deserve to be alone, because they don't care. YOU care. YOU matter. You didn't do anything wrong but fall for the wrong guy, which is not your fault, but a bad accident. Don't let this bring you down.
There are many, MANY more, and much better guys out there. Like coldvein said - they meet you, they don't know you, and they don't care about your past. They don't care that you feel insecure. All they care about is who you are. And you can be whoever you want to be.
Yeah, it seems the only people who get responses in this thread are either girls or people who constantly post about killing themselves. I'm depressed so I know that people need an outlet, but this thread has gotten pretty insufferable. It's probably because I'm an emotional fucking cripple who has no experience with human relationships tho. Don't mind me.
it's not weak to point out the fact that people are capable of overcoming extremely heinous things.
i wasn't trying to make her problems seem insignificant. i understand that everybody's problems seem like the most dire and crucial things to them. some days i wake up and feel like it's the end of the world, and i don't give a fuck about starving children in africa. but on those days the world doesn't actually end, i get through it and i learn from it.
thats stating the obvious
of course people can recover
I just find it a bit offensive that you can use one strangers suffering as a barometer for anothers
chronic depression itself makes it harder to "get over" than many things people would consider more severe by way of its very nature
it isn't obvious to everyone all the time. have you read this thread? people in here seem to feel that recovery is impossible. it can seem that way sometimes, but it's not true, and people need to be reminded of it. i'm not sure why you're offended, you seem to get stirred up about shit pretty easily.
Napoleonthechimp
Member
Ah right. I'm in the UK and it is also legal here. I looked into it and the only reputable place that does it charges £2,000 which I thought was extortionate.
I wouldn't take it by yourself as it apparently is a long-lasting experience (some have said 24 hours) that can possibly be quite dangerous without supervision. The guy who I was talking to who runs one of the centres in the UK actually requires a full medical clearance before he allows anyone to take Ibogaine.
Yes, but I've only been taking a small dose for a very short time so I can't imagine it'll pose a huge problem.
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