Napoleonthechimp
Member
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Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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well, ive been at such a low point for so many years after trying absolutely everything
so if you're going to give me wishy washy tips for recovery im going to get pissed
User 100115
Banned
I haven't been responding to this thread as much as should be, but I do know that Ommi responds to just about everyone. Posts get missed of course, and sometimes we don't catch up, but we try to talk to everyone that we can.
As always, if anyone needs to talk personally I am available via pm or skype (when I can get it work).
at this time, i'm making a conscious decision to be a grown up and not insult you.
so instead you're letting me know how you feel in a completely roundabout type of way?
classy
hahaha. my god.
you're not very intelligent, are you?
No offense, but you literally do not know what you're talking about and are ignorant on the topic of this thread. Just stop.
sounds like a self help seminar imo
"you are a blank slate! you can be whoever you want to be! you just have to believe!"
you're wrong.
Enough with the little spat fellas. Leave it out or trade a joke each or take the ails to PM. Please.
What are people's thought on self-acceptance (resignation)? It's done my mood-swings wonders (seriously), but I won't deny that it's left me at the level which I (realistically) see myself (ie. not a particularly functioning or socially conducive individual, all things considered). I know my qualities and I know my flaws; and that's with myself always trying to keep in mind that my own perspective is skewed on such matters, adjusting appropriately. I have a deal of trouble 'lying' to myself ("you're actually a great person!") and this three or four year period of self-acceptance/resignation has felt the most proper. I don't think it's.. um, societally 'healthy' though. I'm certainly not in a great place, though I can at least claim stability. Also, might simply be an age thing. I took a thorough re-examination of my self-perspective of myself around 5 years ago, when I was 27. These are important, weird, biologically morphous years I suspect.
What are people's thought on self-acceptance (resignation)? It's done my mood-swings wonders (seriously), but I won't deny that it's left me at the level which I (realistically) see myself (ie. not a particularly functioning or socially conducive individual, all things considered). I know my qualities and I know my flaws; and that's with myself always trying to keep in mind that my own perspective is skewed on such matters, adjusting appropriately. I have a deal of trouble 'lying' to myself ("you're actually a great person!") and this three or four year period of self-acceptance/resignation has felt the most proper. I don't think it's.. um, societally 'healthy' though. I'm certainly not in a great place, though I can at least claim stability. Also, might simply be an age thing. I took a thorough re-examination of my self-perspective of myself around 5 years ago, when I was 27. These are important, weird, biologically morphous years I suspect.
ColonelColon
Member
Recently I realized that I've become completely impotent (sexually). I had held out a naive hope for a while that it might just be a short term injury, but at this point, I'm certain that I've suffered permanent damage. Barring a breakthrough in medical science, I'll have to just live with this for the rest of my life. There are a few options available to help mitigate the problem, but none of them cure the root cause. This is probably a long shot, but does anyone else here have this problem, or know anyone who has this problem? I've been depressed for a long time, but this has quickly entered my list of reasons why I don't feel like getting up in the morning.
Lord Ghirahim
Member
£2k is still "reasonable" compared to some other countries. I really hope the whole thing doesn't cost me over 1k.
Yeah, I wasn't planning to take it by myself. I will find a sitter if the ibogaine centre thing looks too iffy. I'm currently working on being as fit as possible before taking the physical tests in March/April. I dropped over three stone since April 2012, I need to work on my heart and liver now.
Collete
Member
Yeah, tomorrow always does sound like a good startI'm gonna bake tomorrow.
Great, proud of you
What will you make?
I can tell her I'm not in the mood, but then it comes off as disrespectul and cowardacie in our culture and I'll pretty much get mocked till the end of time if I say that.
The bolded is something my mother does all the time and almost impossible to talk to her about my suicide attempts...
I don't know of any "legit" self help books. They all honestly (no offense) like a bunch of bull. Do you know of any legit ones? (I'm going to a bookstore tomorrow anyways)
Jimothy, it's pretty much what Fiction said. Everyone here tries their best to respond to everyone.
(Fiction might be too nice on me replying to everyone, but I try)
Some times we miss it, we're not perfect. Although I can tell you we do try our best to respond to everyone, not just "girls or people who constantly post about killing themselves".
Have you read more pages of this thread than the beginning out of curiosity?
If you need to talk to someone, I'm quite sure most people in this thread don't mind to listen to help you. I sure don't mind if you PM me.
Sub_Level
wants to fuck an Asian grill.
Stability is a necessary step for a depressed person. I personally think most people fall under the umbrella of "stable" than genuinely happy. Being your own cheerleader strikes me the wrong way as well. I've never been one for deluding yourself with thoughts that "everything is going to be ok" and "there's nothing wrong with who you are". Thinking along those lines can be helpful at certain times, but in the long term and grand scheme of things self acceptance can quickly turn into complacency, lack of ambition, and being content with an ok life instead of striving for a good one. Dealing with depression means work and change in addition to not hating yourself.
While depression may be caused by chemical imbalances, I think we can all associate it with external hardships. If you're 32 right now and unhappy with your job, how you spend your free time, your body, your education or lack thereof, your current relationship, or whatever, then THOSE problems are simply what need fixing. A pill, therapist, or "different way of thinking" won't fix those problems, action will. Now that you're stable and perhaps have better coping mechanisms when things don't go your way (as happens to us constantly in life) I think it's time to start tackling those external issues.
As for whether or not you're "societally healthy", one could argue that being unhealthy in an unhealthy society is actually healthy. Introspection is usually a good thing. When you go overboard with it and your thoughts are constantly dreadful with no real insight other than making you feel like crap, then that is the time to stop thinking and start doing. At least that's my perspective.
I hope it's not ENTIRELY like that. In my mind, it's a thread about depression as well as for depression. So there's information about various topics, people ask questions about various aspects of depression, people share experiences and ideas, but people also just come here to talk to a sympathetic audience, blow off steam, or feel less alone.
If it feels like people only talk to either girls or the suicidal, well, I think it's because that's who's in the thread. Of the top 10 posters, four are women (I think), which is pretty crazy for GAF. As to why the actively suicidal are so prominent, I think it's kind of obvious.
I try to read everything that gets posted, but this thread already has enough of me droning on about stuff in it, so I don't reply as much to individuals here. I do hope that people don't feel ignored, though.
Do you mind going in to just a bit more detail, here or over PM? What caused the damage? Is it secondary to some other medical problem or an accident? If it's a symptom of depression itself, or a side effect of medications used to treat depression, that's something else altogether (and pretty damn common).
What have you tried by way of treatment? Have you talked to a psychiatrist? Primary care doc? Urologist?
To be honest, I think this is a terrible piece of advise. Just because someone else had it worse than you doesn't mean you should feel bad about feeling bad. "Yup, they had their family murdered and got over it, so I shouldn't feel bad about being alone, or not trusting other people, or whatever 'first world problem' I may be having". Nope, your problems are as real as theirs, and everyone copes with them differently. Or else depression wouldn't exist.
Seems you've had back luck at relationships, it's not your fault at all. Why is it the truth just because some stupid fool says so? If I told you the sun is blue, would you believe it? Then why do you believe them, when it's obvious they only said that to make you feel bad? Nothing you've said so far makes me think you're a mistake, or that something's wrong with you (can't answer about your appearance, but I seriously doubt anyone could be uglier than me, lol).It is the truth thoughI mean... I'm the common element, so it's something wrong with me, whether it's because I'm hideous, or a mistake or whatever. :/
The bolded above somewhat accurately describes the core of my post's question: "Is self-acceptance/resignation a good thing?" Because the bolded above is pretty much entirely me. Hello!
As mentioned, it's done wonders for my stability. I'm comfortable with myself and have adjusted my infrequent and unwelcome interactions with other people accordingly. You, reader, are more than welcome to raise your eyebrows at the latter half of that sentence-- understand though that I subject *nowhere near* as many unsuspecting regular folk to awkward conversations as I did half a decade ago. Again, it is something which, I must presume, does nothing for my inter-social 'health', but it has allowed me to attain personal stability, in mood and general outlook, both internal and external. I can fall asleep at night without dwelling on the people whose days I've effected negatively simply by their accidental stumbles into the same 'polite conversation zone' as my own proximity generates. Now, little is said, I'm just 'that quiet and ignorant arsehole', they get on with their day.
I do question how worthwhile a recommendation this approach is though!
It's just odd when the choice is between, from my circumstance, it feels like (1) a be-true-to-yourself option that leads to the above quite-probably-fucked-upped-ness; or (2) opting for a stance whereby you have to somehow convince yourself that you're better than that (and by 'that', I guess I mean 'your actual real self'), effectively kidding yourself into a better self-perspective.
Neither option provides positivity. Any sense of a place, or purpose. I still don't have any sense that I belong here in 2012. Which is the real kicker. And which feeds into the whole 'tired of the game' thing.
You know, this may well be the smartest thing I've read today. We have survival as our biggest instinct, but depression directly contradicts it. If it had a face, we should all punch it as hard as we can.
Common element in like... Any guy I've talked to irl. They all call me ugly. :/
Well, any men I've met seem to know cause they call me ugly, a joke, etc.
In any case...not looking anymore, like I said...I couldn't handle a relationship. It's just not in the cards for me anymore.
Many guys have told me now. I've never had a guy think I'm pretty or even cute. So... Yep.
Anyway...sorry for posting this crap here. It's stupid. I'll keep it out of here.
scar tissue
Banned
*hug*
It it's any consolation, guys have very similar problems, although in my experience it's less about the looks and more about being shy/weird/socially awkward.
I can't even get laid because most girls wouldn't think of me as a potential mate, and I can't take the necessary steps if a girl finally shows interest (which happens, if very rarely). Thanks, social anxiety1
Do NOT apologize.
Edit:
Realize that a fucked up childhood does more damage than anything else can do later on. Once you're a stable adult, it's almost impossible to fuck you up on the level shit in your childhood can.
Ive always thought of depression as natures way of getting rid of poor candidates for mating, and as part of natural selection that we just seem to think we are above.
don't want to be around people? well nature has a solution and its called suicidal tendencies!
:|
fuck sex
fuck depression
fuck nature
It's not stupid if it's a big part of what's getting you down. Also, you're far from alone in forever-alone-GAF (ironically).
If that's the case, then I should probably off myself right now, and forget about ever being with another girl.
Exactly this, only without the girls showing interest. And no, I won't kill myself. But sometimes I wish I had the balls to do it.
Anyway, I wish I could stop thinking about this. Just not caring anymore, no one died from lack of sex or companionship. And as for almost never going out with friends, well, I got the internet and Steam and music...
Fuck.
scar tissue
Banned
Funnily enough, I've had the exact same thoughts. Although this is strictly speaking not true, because genetically, many of us may still be superior (intellect, fitness), we just got shafted with a trauma somewhere down the line. I'm a pretty smart and fairly good looking guy myself, if I may say so.
Although I'm not sure if there is such a thing as genetically caused depression too, what does the resident expert ITT (hi bagels!) say? Does all depression stem from childhood trauma?
intellect and fitness arent what make someone an APLHA
from what ive seen, more depressed people are introverts
the genetics that make depression more likely are clearly hereditary
theres no specific gene for depression afaik, unless you count whatever controls the chemical upset in the brain
well on the contrary you have a lot more free time and money
it would be nice if we could have a simple lobotomy to remove the part that makes us feel like sex is so important
scar tissue
Banned
Not alpha, no
But intellect and physical fitness are a huge part of what darwin meant with "survival of the fittest" - intelligent and strong people are fit to survive in harsh enviroments
Ironically, in todays society it's not about survival of the fittest anymore
Pretty much the only limiting factor whether your genes live on or not is sexual selection - whether the other sex wants you or not (assuming you don't die of an accident before reaching sexual maturity, which is pretty rare)
Collete
Member
Wait, really?
Tell me you're joking....
Guys call you ugly?....
They need to check an optometrist -_-
(I still think you're way drop dead gorgeous than me)
scar tissue
Banned
Were pics posted ITT? I'm really curious now.
I dont...what
We've seen you in the pics thread. You are not ugly!
Where the hell do you get these guys from?
Collete
Member
I don't know, but she had an avatar which what I believe was her.
She looked really nice in my honest opinion. Way more prettier than me. It makes me jealous
There's a theory that depression is actually a beneficial trait (yeah, I know...). It's hard to explain why it persists in human populations at such a high rate, and it does have some unknown genetic component.
If I remember correctly, the theory has something to do with depressed people doing better when things go to shit (because we're used to feeling like that!).
If I remember correctly, the theory has something to do with depressed people doing better when things go to shit (because we're used to feeling like that!).
scar tissue
Banned
I don't know, but she had an avatar which what I believe was her.
She looked really nice in my honest opinion. Way more prettier than me. It makes me jealous
I remember that avatar. That was her???
WTF.
I have never white knighted a girl on the internets, or even complimented one.
But I HAVE to say this, leeness: You are not ugly and certainly not fat.
Edit: I would suggest that you have body dysmorphia, but as guys seem to be calling you ugly too, I have no idea what's up.
heh
well depression itself makes you less appealing to people, and makes people less appealing to yourself.
its like an endless feedback loop that almost appears to be intended to take you out of the game.
I cant agree with depression being any kind of mental conditioning
If anything its made me more irritable and less capable of dealing with problems
what is the logic behind this theory?
scar tissue
Banned
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So frustrating.
dunno, I think I would be pretty well suited to living in a post apocalyptic hellhole. Sometimes I think I'd actually prefer that, since in the daily struggle for existence my life would finally find meaning. And I'd probably get with the girls too. Last man on earth and all that.
if anything, the dietary problems related to scarcity in that kind of setting would make you feel even more shit
Collete
Member
This is interesting, mainly because I have somewhat a theory on why people get depressed.
My theory is that maybe our genetics are crying out we return to the nomadic life style of our ancestors. We weren't this materialistic in the past and life was simpler and at one point, we were all even. No social ranks, money, etc.
I could be coughing up a lot of shit, so take it with a grain of salt.
why would our genetics want us to live lifespans that were less than half of what we have
scar tissue
Banned
if anything, the dietary problems related to scarcity in that kind of setting would make you feel even more shit
I have no problem with little food. Due to my laziness and apathy, I've had many a day where I didn't eat more than a bowl of cereal or two slices of bread with cheese.
I don't need the comforts of civilization either. I like them, but I'll do fine without them.
Living with indigenous people would be a cool experiment. If I had the money and could simply walk away from my obligations, I'd try it.
why would our genetics want us to live lifespans that were less than half of what we have
My genetics wanted me to have a lifespan of 15 (first actual suicidal thoughts), so that's that.
Collete
Member
why would our genetics want us to live lifespans that were less than half of what we have
Well of course they wouldn't. But I meant the lifestyle we once lived. We worried about survival, what we're going to eat the next day, and where to head to next.
We didn't have to worry social ranks, getting enough money to live, etc.
we should be adjusting to it if anything, shouldn't we?
I fantasize about this shit all the time. Like, if a comet suddenly struck the earth and wiped out most of humanity, I'd be perfectly content.
scar tissue
Banned
Genetically, humans are the same they were when our species evolved to face the selective pressures of the african savannah.
So, in a way, oomikami's theory doesn't seem too far off.
Humans were not built for groups of more than 100 people. This is the reason why people, despite what facebook tells you, cannot ever have (drastically) more than 100 friends.
Along these lines, we face constant overload in many things: too many other people, too much information, too many obligations, too many noises,...
Collete
Member
To our current life style? Technically we should have. But it's not really an ideal system for everyone. These days it's all about encouraging technology degrees and that we should pursue it because it makes the most money.
Not everyone wants to do that and people are forced into differentiating roles to survive. Hence it causes more host of problems.
Also, we're most happier in nature and wish to go to naturalistic places on vacations. (usually)
Why else have most of our vacations wanting to go to a pristine place in the world?
I don't know, it just screams to me to return to a much simplistic life style.
Is it?
Darn, I thought I made a break through
Verbal Intercourse
Banned
Anyone try lithium?
This new nurse practitioner has got some balls suggesting I may have the genes for bi-polar (but not be bi-polar?) when it was never suggested in partial hospitalization.
I hate the ambiguity of diagnosing mental illness, relying on a patient's ability to assess their health when their ability to do so is compromised.
Of course both patients and doctors are susceptible to bias and judgment error.
Does much good come of this thread, or is it just depressed members making themselves feel worse? Like a circle jerk of self-loathing? I always get so tired talking about this shit.
This new nurse practitioner has got some balls suggesting I may have the genes for bi-polar (but not be bi-polar?) when it was never suggested in partial hospitalization.
I hate the ambiguity of diagnosing mental illness, relying on a patient's ability to assess their health when their ability to do so is compromised.
Of course both patients and doctors are susceptible to bias and judgment error.
Does much good come of this thread, or is it just depressed members making themselves feel worse? Like a circle jerk of self-loathing? I always get so tired talking about this shit.
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