Yeah dude don't do it, just move on and find someone else.
LadyGAF Advises ManGAF
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Yeah dude don't do it, just move on and find someone else.
Really? Maybe I'm too uptight about this. I just figured creating an account just to try and get a number again is kind of odd.
thebaroness
Member
I don't feel it's odd unless you start stalking every one of someone's posts.
No, that's not my intention. Just wanted to get her number and see how she's doing pretty much.
You're not fat at all, you look good. You have to keep in mind that there are men out there who even thinks women with breasts or any hint of curves are "fat". They're kind of screwed up in the head.
Kitsunebaby
Member
Hell going by half the posts in every "hot women thread" that pops up, I'm an obese cow. If you let everyone's shallow opinions get to you, you'll never survive.
Personally I avoid the places where that kind of judgement is abundant. I know my cosplay pics get posted in 4chan from time to time since other cosplay friends have told me, but I go out of my way not to look at those boards. The type of catty people that hang out there are just looking to be insult others.
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
I've read people shitting on even Chris Hemsworth. Not everybody is going to like you, but if you don't like yourself you aren't going to convince anyone who isn't immediately interested.
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
I have a friend who thinks Brad Pitt, George Cloony and Sean Connery are all "ok looking". Then she goes gaga over vaguely emo-looking boys. I have to shake my head. There's no accounting for taste.
thebaroness
Member
That was my point, you can't get upset for whatever someone else says about you.
Chuckie
Member
My wife has a bit of an odd taste, she likes guys like that Sherlock Holmes dude...Benedict something...and also some not really handsome Dutch celebs.
Kinda makes me feel odd too tbh hahaha. Means I have a weird non-handsome face too
Professor Beef
Banned
Gackt's stupid influence nearly ruined Crisis Core for me. >:|
ThoseDeafMutes
Member
Benedict Spadeface, I believe. And yeah, he's one of those guys who isn't really conventionally good looking but has legions of fangirls regardless. My ex liked him a lot, and Fiction on GAF has him as her avatar.
Another way to look at this from a statistician's point of view.
Let's say 95% of women don't want to date/have sex with you. That sounds terrible, right? Awful, even. And yet, that would logically mean the following:
1) If you go to a bar with 20 women in it, 1 of them will be willing to sleep with you that night. If you go to a club with 100 women in it, you have 5 women to choose from.
2) There are approximately 150 million women in the US, and approximately 3.5 Billion in the world. Let's be quick and say something like 20% of those are in an age bracket you would find compatible, so now we're looking at 30 million women in the US and 700 million worldwide. Of these, then, 1.5 Million eligible women in the US and 35 million eligible women in the world would be open to dating or sleeping with you.
Most people seem to find that comforting. If you get stuck on a single, specific girl, this will obviously be more problematic, but remembering the sheer number of women out there really helps alleviate the stress, I find.
Let's say 95% of women don't want to date/have sex with you. That sounds terrible, right? Awful, even. And yet, that would logically mean the following:
1) If you go to a bar with 20 women in it, 1 of them will be willing to sleep with you that night. If you go to a club with 100 women in it, you have 5 women to choose from.
2) There are approximately 150 million women in the US, and approximately 3.5 Billion in the world. Let's be quick and say something like 20% of those are in an age bracket you would find compatible, so now we're looking at 30 million women in the US and 700 million worldwide. Of these, then, 1.5 Million eligible women in the US and 35 million eligible women in the world would be open to dating or sleeping with you.
Most people seem to find that comforting. If you get stuck on a single, specific girl, this will obviously be more problematic, but remembering the sheer number of women out there really helps alleviate the stress, I find.
Thanks, I find it releasing some stress. I was getting too caught up in a few recent dates. Still could go somewhere, but if we aren't compatable no reason to get stressed. Just 24 years old.
So this is something I've wondered for a while since I've had different experiences in the past.
Is that "wait three days before you contact a girl" rule bullshit? Or is it true you seem too desperate if you call them right away?
Going past that, is it better to get a girl's number or give her your own and then put the ball in her court for contacting?
Edit:
This is exactly true. Sometimes you just have to play the numbers game. You might get shot down or rejected a lot but eventually you'll strike a home run.
Is that "wait three days before you contact a girl" rule bullshit? Or is it true you seem too desperate if you call them right away?
Going past that, is it better to get a girl's number or give her your own and then put the ball in her court for contacting?
Edit:
This is exactly true. Sometimes you just have to play the numbers game. You might get shot down or rejected a lot but eventually you'll strike a home run.
Devolution
Member
Yes it's bullshit. Also with texting there's no reason you can't just flirt before and after dates.
Chuckie
Member
Yeah what's wrong with sending a nice text after a date, saying you enjoyed it.
Shhh. That never happened.
edit: Also I would like to remind people that there just aren't any hard rules for dating (or most human interaction really.) What might be totally fine with one person could an egregious error to another. I say that for a lot of things (not all things mind) doing what you're most comfortable with works best. By which I mean, try not to over think it.
SquiddyCracker
Banned
The problem is how great of an overlap there is between the pool of women who are willing to sleep/date with you, and the pool of women who you are willing to sleep/date with
/Sir. Party Pooper.
Chuckie
Member
The problem is how great of an overlap there is between the pool of women who are willing to sleep/date with you, and the pool of women who you are willing to sleep/date with
/Sir. Party Pooper.
Haha.... it is true though.
The problem is how great of an overlap there is between the pool of women who are willing to sleep/date with you, and the pool of women who you are willing to sleep/date with
/Sir. Party Pooper.
I'm not sure you'd be able to see the overlap in that venn diagram, for me at least.
What percentage of those women would be attractive?
SquiddyCracker
Banned
That's why I like to say:
Skip the statistics and numbers,
Ignore your brain, and follow your heart.
Someone you like? Flowers!
Someone that don't? At them, fart!
Skip the statistics and numbers,
Ignore your brain, and follow your heart.
Someone you like? Flowers!
Someone that don't? At them, fart!
The problem is how great of an overlap there is between the pool of women who are willing to sleep/date with you, and the pool of women who you are willing to sleep/date with
/Sir. Party Pooper.
Right, this is where people always get in to trouble. If you are extremely picky, then yes, obviously you will have problems.
On the extreme end of this scale are people who believe in "soul mates" and hone in on a single, specific person as the only one they are willing to look in to. In that case, your odds of winning are very small, because of all the women in the world, you're only willing to look at one of them.
If, instead, you keep an open mind, then the odds of winning are very high, because of all the women in the world, you're willing to at least consider all of them. Or most of them. Or many of them. In short, I don't think anything is more destructive to one's dating prospects than "soul mate" ideologies, because it so enormously and painfully restricts the dating pool. I actually think the most common problem people have is to hone in on their immediate surroundings and be incapable of recognizing the larger pool out there. For example, "the most attractive girl in the room" will seem very enticing in almost all cases, even if in a larger survey she would barely catch your attention. Conversely, the least attractive girl in a room full of models seems less appealing than she might otherwise be.
This is not logical, and again has a tendency to cloud people's ability to make reasonable judgements. Or to to use more colloquial jargon, it messes up your game. Remembering how many girls exist in the world -- and remembering how many millions of them out there would appeal to you, and you to them -- is a valuable thing to remember, because it keeps you from getting too confused or hung up on a specific girl in a specific situation.
And they said romance was dead.
Using myself as an example here, it probably would surprise no one here that I'm a very particular person. I don't enjoy rock music, or rap music, or any music with lyrics. I don't play any of the games anyone here on GAF likes. I don't watch mainstream movies very frequently.
I listen mostly to classical music, watch foreign/"artsy" films, play chess, and love exercise, astrophysics, neuroscience, and behavioral economics. I'm not interested in virtually any pop culture and I have little patience for those discussions. I'm terrible at parties and in casual social conversation; honestly, I'm terrible at it, and this would presumably be an enormous deficit when playing the game.
And yet, I have plenty of friends and have actually been "picked up" by most of my serious girlfriends rather than the other way around. This is because I keep an open mind, I'm confident, I'm passionate about what I like no matter how niche or obscure it may be to our generation, and I stick to it. Yes, this repels virtually all women because so few are interested in the subjects I'm interested in. That's fine. Most guys aren't interested, either. And yet, the sliver of men interested in being my friend and the sliver of women who want to date me has proved to be more than enough, and I am quite satisfied with both my friends and romances.
By contrast, the few times I've honed in on a girl I found attractive for whatever reason, it's often left me frustrated and angry, because obviously the odds that any random girl is interested in dating a person with such specific tastes are low. Getting past the base impulse -- the "first impression" syndrome where many men eliminate 90% of women before the conversations really get going -- is enormously helpful.
I listen mostly to classical music, watch foreign/"artsy" films, play chess, and love exercise, astrophysics, neuroscience, and behavioral economics. I'm not interested in virtually any pop culture and I have little patience for those discussions. I'm terrible at parties and in casual social conversation; honestly, I'm terrible at it, and this would presumably be an enormous deficit when playing the game.
And yet, I have plenty of friends and have actually been "picked up" by most of my serious girlfriends rather than the other way around. This is because I keep an open mind, I'm confident, I'm passionate about what I like no matter how niche or obscure it may be to our generation, and I stick to it. Yes, this repels virtually all women because so few are interested in the subjects I'm interested in. That's fine. Most guys aren't interested, either. And yet, the sliver of men interested in being my friend and the sliver of women who want to date me has proved to be more than enough, and I am quite satisfied with both my friends and romances.
By contrast, the few times I've honed in on a girl I found attractive for whatever reason, it's often left me frustrated and angry, because obviously the odds that any random girl is interested in dating a person with such specific tastes are low. Getting past the base impulse -- the "first impression" syndrome where many men eliminate 90% of women before the conversations really get going -- is enormously helpful.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
Hmmm. Well, I wonder if the guys who left you hanging were about the same thing.
I don't know why I have left women hanging. Maybe I just didn't think it was worth it to act like I felt they wanted me to act?
Vigilant Walrus
Member
Wow, I can totally relate to this. My interests are different though, but I think I understand what you are saying.
Further thoughts:
Very, very few men will appeal to more than 50% of the female population. This means that even the best men are more likely to fail with any particular girl than to succeed. Moreover, I think most here would find that the sort of guy who appeals to the largest amount of women to be the type of person they wouldn't want to be. Such a person would be very similar to an overly focus tested game; can't be too intellectual, can't have interests which are too niche, must appeal to the lowest common denominator in as many ways as possible to "broaden the appeal." Even your sense of humor would need to be as general as possible. Dry wit and sardonic humor would be out the window, because too many people find that aloof or off putting.
Although they would be physically fit, which is definitely a good thing. Otherwise, personally, no thanks.
Very, very few men will appeal to more than 50% of the female population. This means that even the best men are more likely to fail with any particular girl than to succeed. Moreover, I think most here would find that the sort of guy who appeals to the largest amount of women to be the type of person they wouldn't want to be. Such a person would be very similar to an overly focus tested game; can't be too intellectual, can't have interests which are too niche, must appeal to the lowest common denominator in as many ways as possible to "broaden the appeal." Even your sense of humor would need to be as general as possible. Dry wit and sardonic humor would be out the window, because too many people find that aloof or off putting.
Although they would be physically fit, which is definitely a good thing. Otherwise, personally, no thanks.
Well, you have to take into account men also don't hit on every girl they see, there are somewhat narrow margins into which the girl must fit: She must be the right age; she must look somewhat attractive to him etc. The question is not how popular you are with the overall female population, but how popular you are within your market segment
Vigilant Walrus
Member
No I don't think so. Not in the larger scheme of things. Sooo, soo so many guys work out and have crazy bodies. It doesn't matter. Many of the hottest chicks I have ever seen still go home with some skinny dude who is not good looking or rich, but just fucking reigns down on their insecurities.
But look man - Why would you even want to be with a woman who is like that? Why would you want to be with a person who has those things as a deal breaker?
So if I were to go with the mindset of being very narrow minded, should I then choose to go to the extremes of my interest and revamp my online dating persona? I know currently the way I have it is an attempt to be of broad appeal, but realistically I've noticed that if I can't geek out with them. . . It's just not going to work.
I'm not arguing that that it is a deal breaker. I'm just saying if you're going to look at it logically (maybe I mean objectively, or rationally), then you should note that we're biological machines who have undergone millions of years of evolution. Objectively speaking, patterns emerge that show that some things are just popular, you know?
We're not digits in a machine - we are very likely going to have a relationship with somebody who lives close to us. You want to ignore people who point out those patterns? fine.
Oh oh. My bad. xD
*unsubscribes*
In my defence, I was led astray by the one they call Opiate.
Vigilant Walrus
Member
I'm not arguing that it is a deal breaker. I'm just saying if you're going to look at it logically (maybe I mean objectively, or rationally), then you should note that we're biological machines who have undergone millions of years of evolution. Objectively speaking, patterns emerge that show that some things are just popular, you know?
We're not digits in a machine - we are very likely going to have a relationship with somebody who lives close to us. You want to ignore people who point out those patterns out? fine.
No, I didn't say that. But there is a difference between spreading your seed in a woman who looks capable of giving you offspring (biological need) and then what you need in a relationship (emotionally).
Now I am just speaking my mind because I assume a lot of guys here on GAF are above average intelligence and many of them probably have some patterns that make them less likely to be a "i'll-kick-your-ass-before-i-go-fuck-your-girlfriend-dudebros".
Why is narrow minded? Another way of saying it - Being true to yourself and knowing what you want. I am the same.
I am not sure, but I've been told I got a chance with lots of girls, but many of them I can't go through with it. I don't like them.
But I feel like a piece of shit for even saying that. How can one be so judgemental? But it's just like you said. You like people who you can geek out with. The last girl I have been seeing, plays games with me, goes to star wars marathon to me, she listens when I want to talk about console CPUs, religion, alan watts, how I make protein pancakes or how I like to do the rear-naked choke from UFC.
It's not about me, or about her me having a degree. It's about actually fucking listening. So many people can't listen, and have never learned it. We are so egotistical and busy and need constant rewards, encouragement and acknowledgement. The sad sides of first world problems.
It's not narrow minded to know yourself mate.
Because I used to have a "broad appeal". Anyone who was not a nazi was good enough for me. But being like that.. It didnt worked for me. Its strange how, letting everyone be an option gives you very few option.
Also consider that the girl you have chemistry or "geek out with" wants to feel like that she is not the byproduct of your broad appeal. I hope LadyGAF will agree with this.
You and Opiate both are fucking amazing. TBH, I finally ran into a proper girl tonight on OKC that was very upfront about her interests. Not sure where it's going yet but. . .It seems like she did look through my profile to find something to relate to, although my profile hides most of it with only one or two things admitting my geekiness. I'm questioning now if I should just revamp said profile or just leave it be and we go from there. But definitely however, if it doesn't work out this time, I'll change my profile to something that's actually me.
Benedict Cumberbatch is awesome like. It's the cleverness. I'm beginning to think it might be in a contract clause or something.
[Stephen] Hawking [brilliant - go watch it]
Sherlock [Holmes]
Christopher Tietjens [Parade's End]
This isn't really a great degree of contemplation. I began thinking about this as I read the thread.
I'm sort of instinctively against the idea of "overthinking." Generally speaking, careful and considered opinions are better. Not always, but usually.
But you're handsome. What about ugly folk like me?
As long as you think yourself ugly, you will be ugly. Changing something like that starts from within.
This archetype is eerily similar to the impetus behind current big budget game developments.
hawkshockey11
Banned
Alright LadyGaf. How much do healthy eyes factor into what you deem attractive? For me, great eyes are probably the first thing I look for in a girl. If someone has awesome eyes without makeup, I mostly ignore other facial characteristics and deem them attractive. Probably why I have much different tastes in women compared to those around me.
Unfortunately for me I was not blessed in the eye category. Blepharitis has caused me to have red rimmed eyelids and red tinted sclera since about the start of high school (19 now) :/ It has pretty much dictated my life in regards to confidence, what lighting I like to be in, even whether I want to be around other people on a particularly bad day :/
For the most part though it hasn't held me back too much in regards to women liking me. I don't know if it just isn't as noticeable to others, or people just look past it/not eye people like me. What are your thoughts?
Unfortunately for me I was not blessed in the eye category. Blepharitis has caused me to have red rimmed eyelids and red tinted sclera since about the start of high school (19 now) :/ It has pretty much dictated my life in regards to confidence, what lighting I like to be in, even whether I want to be around other people on a particularly bad day :/
For the most part though it hasn't held me back too much in regards to women liking me. I don't know if it just isn't as noticeable to others, or people just look past it/not eye people like me. What are your thoughts?
SquiddyCracker
Banned
I consider my eyes to be one of my best features, but not many people seem to notice/compliment on them. I think eyes are pretty minor to most people.
Or maybe I just have ugly eyes
Chuckie
Member
I consider my eyes to be one of my best features, but not many people seem to notice/compliment on them. I think eyes are pretty minor to most people.
Or maybe I just have ugly eyes
I have had quite a few compliments on my eyes. They are kinda bright and change color depending on what I wear (only grey/blue/green ofcourse
)Kitsunebaby
Member
Does having raccoon eyes make them look unhealthy? From time to time my undereye circles can get pretty dark.
I've been told I have pretty eyes, though I think it's just the color people like.
CountAntonius
Member
During Real Pic January one of Girl GAF told me the I had soulless Raccoon Eyes...
I've noticed you tend to think more about an aspect of you that you may find deficient than other people might. I am very self-conscious about my eyebrows because they are very light and I color them in. Because of this, I find I look at and notice eyebrows far more than the average person, to the point where I have commented on them and people think it's strange for me to do so.
What I'm saying is, people probably don't notice the problems with your eyes as much as you do.
What I'm saying is, people probably don't notice the problems with your eyes as much as you do.
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