The only good one.
I think we all feel better now.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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I think we all feel better now.
SpartanForce
Member
Yeah I do like Bagels. Probably the only one though
Hooked a couple big ones on my compliment-fishing expedition.
Throwing Windam back.
I am new here, but I kind of get depressed due to my "friends" being a bit slimy. There's lots of politics going on, it seems that every time a person in the group isn't there, they end up talking bad about them, even if they're close. And in recent times, I've been left out of things intentionally because my views don't match theirs, in terms of values and stuff. Most of them are still living in that "highschool" mentality, where you have to like certain things or you're not "cool" and such, or you can't like certain things without being Lol'd at because the rest of the group doesn't follow suit. I also dislike that all they do is drink when it's time to hang out.
So, they're kind of bringing me down, and it's bothering me that if I let go of em, than I'll have no friends.
So, I've drifted apart for them in recent times, don't even receive any texts, and when I do ask to do something, I kind of get a crappy answer, so for the last month of so, I haven't really hung out with anyone, so that's kind of had me down. Looking for new friends, trying to figure out how to make em first!
.
Any suggestions.
So, they're kind of bringing me down, and it's bothering me that if I let go of em, than I'll have no friends.
So, I've drifted apart for them in recent times, don't even receive any texts, and when I do ask to do something, I kind of get a crappy answer, so for the last month of so, I haven't really hung out with anyone, so that's kind of had me down. Looking for new friends, trying to figure out how to make em first!
.Any suggestions.
Collete
Member
Huh I never heard of anyone eating them, lol.
http://www.englishteastore.com/flowering-tea-green-tea-3-flower-burst.html
My friend linked me to that site, I dunno if it's trust worthy but I ordered 12 blossoms from there. Looked nice and I like green tea.
We don't have an Ikea near here, but I'm trying to find a cheap teapot but couldn't find one. Not sure I want to pay 30$ for one.
I'm so depressed tonight that it hurts. I can't sleep because when I lay down I just think about how miserable I am. My meds don't feel like they're working at all.
Going to see a psychiatrist on Thursday, hopefully she can make some changes that will help. And I'm starting with a new therapist next week... hopefully she can help me more than the last one.
Going to see a psychiatrist on Thursday, hopefully she can make some changes that will help. And I'm starting with a new therapist next week... hopefully she can help me more than the last one.
Prax
Member
I am kind of the same way. Even people I am technically close to, I don't fully divulge everything to because I'm naturally selective and secretive that way, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate that they are there for me. And it's good you appreciate it too and you recognize the barrier you put up.The only good one.
Edit:
Thank you for this. You're right, actually having people who care about me (although, on a certain level I am unable to accept that they are actually my friends - like you said, I lack trust in their intentions) is a big plus, and I am very grateful that I have them. I know what it's like to not have anyone, and I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
As for the girlfriend thing, I also agree somewhat. I know a few people who went the frienship -> relationship route, and it resulted in some excellent relationships. It may very well be the only way for me, I don't think I could even perform with a girl whom I don't trust. Hell, even those few times where I kissed girls, I was pretty drunk. It just wouldn't work otherwise.
But the friendzone does exist, some (many?) girls want it to be perfectly clear from the get-go that the man is romantically interested, otherwise he will be viewed as asexual.
I guess that limits my options very much.
But as I said, girls are not my most pressing concern right now.
#1 is that I may be flat-out losing it, and #2 is that I am kinda screwing up at university and need to get my act together fast. #1 may be related to #2, all the stress is fucking me up even worse.
Oh and I must say, I am quite amazed how well you seem to have analyzed me. Most of the things you said were spot on.
Well, in the end, you are your diagnosis. I'm mainly concerned that doctors generally are just as fallible as every other group of people, and they're diagnosing people with some kind of bullshit they may or may not have. see also: ADHD - all the cool kids have it.
Anyway, people like to think they're special snowflakes, but in the end, they can all be divided into a few categories.
Except for me. I am a special snowflake :3
I think some people put too much emphasis on the whirlwind romance passionate all-or-nothing love thing anyway, but I'm naturally cynical when it comes to that. XD So I may not be the greatest for advice on the matter, but a different perspective's always good! The friendzone only exists for like.. a certain subgroup of girls (and guys). But do you REALLY wanna be with a girl that makes relationship judgments on the first instance anyway? Maybe you are cool with that and want to learn to adapt to be the first-move type of guy, but it's up to you if you think it's worth the effort.
It doesn't sound like you are losing it though. You make coherent sentences and what you say and how you react makes sense to me. Stress of any kind can overwhelm you and make you feel like you're blowing all your fuses, but you can persevere and it's not the end of the world. You will make do no matter what the outcome, so give it your best shot so you feel that at least you tried.
And I'm glad I wasn't totally off and didn't offend you and stuff!
It's true that you can become your label to some people, and they will treat you based purely on a statistic or whatever favourite method they are biased for, but pretty much everyone, including doctors, are struggling to balance how to interact with others properly and keep themselves sane. It's understandable to want to protect yourself and to question the labels you're given, especially if it blocks you from a treatment you think will be effective for you or insinuates a certain kind of treatment you think won't be effective at all. I understand it's hard to be a self-advocate and protect yourself when you're really just seeking help in the first place (it's like when a counsellor asked me once what I thought would help me.. maybe if I knew I wouldn't be seeking the help in the first place lol). I don't know what the answer is for this except to try to stay informed and understand your own symptoms and ask plenty of questions so you can give and get a clear picture of the interpretation of it.
Ooh, yeah. Friendship drama can be very stressful, and that can lead to feelings of estrangement and conflict of whether to put up with stuff or alienate yourself. I don't know how bad it's gotten for you, but have you ever tried speaking up to them about it? Even a "hey, is it really cool we're talking about so-an-so like this? >_>" or "guys, can we be doing something other than just drinking right now? It's boring." Haha.. I understand if you don't want to rock the boat though.I am new here, but I kind of get depressed due to my "friends" being a bit slimy. There's lots of politics going on, it seems that every time a person in the group isn't there, they end up talking bad about them, even if they're close. And in recent times, I've been left out of things intentionally because my views don't match theirs, in terms of values and stuff. Most of them are still living in that "highschool" mentality, where you have to like certain things or you're not "cool" and such, or you can't like certain things without being Lol'd at because the rest of the group doesn't follow suit. I also dislike that all they do is drink when it's time to hang out.
So, they're kind of bringing me down, and it's bothering me that if I let go of em, than I'll have no friends.
So, I've drifted apart for them in recent times, don't even receive any texts, and when I do ask to do something, I kind of get a crappy answer, so for the last month of so, I haven't really hung out with anyone, so that's kind of had me down. Looking for new friends, trying to figure out how to make em first!
Any suggestions.
You can always try to join hobbyist/common interest groups and try to connect with new people there. For example: http://www.meetup.com/ (one of my friends goes to these things in Toronto, anyway. It's been fun for her--though she has also met a few.. "interesting characters" lol ymmv).
Well, at first I didn't, but it was annoying having all these flower pieces and trying to avoid drinking them, so I just decided "screw it, I'll just eat them"--it's kind of like drinking pulpy orange juice, which is also good. lol
Maybe go to a walmart or dollar store for a teapot?.. If you have a Chinatown anywhere, you might find one too. XD Don't pay over $20 until you become a tea connoisseur and you see something really pretty.
Like look at these cheap Amazon prices.. under 15 dollars for a glass teapot yeah!:
www.amazon.com/Tea-Beyond-GTP2001-S...&qid=1360751561&sr=1-14&keywords=glass+teapot
www.amazon.com/Tea-Beyond-GTP2001-S...&qid=1360751561&sr=1-14&keywords=glass+teapot
http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0081YFWJQ/?tag=neogaf0e-20 <= even comes with 2 cups!
A lot of people hate clothes shopping for that reason. I do anyway! If you can't trust yoru own opinion though, ask a sales rep and just trust them. You can always scapegoat on them later to save yourself a little bit of ego pummelling, which you don't need!
Anything that triggered it or was it just a general feeling of terrible the entire day? If you're going to be awake, make yourself comfortable and take care of yourself, like pampering, moisturizing, drinking a little water or milk, stretch.. Hopefully you got to sleep somehow and things will be better in the morning. Look forward to having the changes help you break out of this and improve.
DodgyGeezerFella
Member
Been prescribed 20mg of Citalopram a day, also recommended counselling, not sure if I will take it, lets see what these pills do .....
insert_username_here
Member
Been feeling like shit pretty much all week but today has just been ridiculous in terms of unfortunate events. Since I woke up 5 hours ago I missed a class because I over slept, walked out side and after taking 6 steps slipped on ice and fell in mud, so I had to go upstairs to my dorm and change, causing me to be late to class. I went back to my room after class to play A Link to the Past only to be interrupted by my girlfriend who said she got out of class 1 1/2 hours early and "we have the room all to ourselves". Now I would have been disappointed right then and there if it wasn't for that statement of having the room to ourselves. What I was expecting and what I got were two COMPLETELY different things. We ended up doing dishes together and she was listening to spotify so barely any words were even said. I just gave her the excuse of having to go clean my room for room inspections and now I'm here masturbating and ranting in this thread.
Collete
Member
Hah, I might try that myself, sounds interesting least to say...You have to sweeten the blossom with honey right?
Ooo that 12 dollar tea pot is very intriguing. I might order it if I like these blooming teas. I bought them as a form of relaxation of watching it open up and steeping tea. Found that steeping tea and drinking it actually helps me relax quite a bit.
Do you know if you're supposed to steep the blossom in 6 cups of water or 1 cup of water? Some people say 1 cup is fine but others say it yields 6 cups of tea.
On another note, today is the day I'm supposed to call my new therapist and ask her about her prices. I tried to call yesterday but no one picked up and I froze due to anxiety anyways. I told myself I would call today though, just not sure how I'll pull this off.
GasProblem
Member
Sigh, I think I'm in over my head with this project (wich you don't get any points for or anything, it's voluntary, and only for a couple of people) for university. Writing an article with the chance of it being becoming a peer reviewed publication in an European magazine. Working with some other people, and I kind of rolled into it because they needed another person. They asked me because I used to get good grades. Yeah, used to. And the people in that group are too fucking smart for me, I don't belong there. Reminds me of elementary where all the smart kids finished their assignments first and got to play on the computer in the back of the class, and I sat there feeling stupid. I did manage to get myself into university, but I think I'm hitting the ceiling here. I've been feeling like shit lately, and I've been able to keep myself floating university wise, but this and a masters thesis and a class with a heavy work load coming up and trying to find a job on the sides because I'm poor as shit right now and feeling apathetic about everything when I really shouldn't and other issues all combined is not making me feel any better. But ranting about it does
RatskyWatsky
Hunky Nostradamus
Mine too! Every day literally plays out the exact same way! (except the topics on GAF change each day) I need to start learning piano or something...
trab pu kcip
Member
I guess I'm not the only one after all
BruiserBear
Banned
I don't think drugs are really going to help.
In all honesty, a hearty/unhealthy meal is probably the best happy drug you can give yourself.
Well I need something before I snap I think, I have no appetite and my muscles are withering away :/ I can literally see myself getting thinner by the day. Thought of picking up drinking but I really don't like alcohol in general.
trab pu kcip
Member
have you tried to exercise a bit? this could help to restore some physical balance again and get your appetite back.
I don't think drugs are going to be a solution, either
I try, I try like crazy but as someone who was very strong in the old days lifting "competitive weights" it stings when I can barely lift a fraction of what I could realizing that I'm just an empty husk of my former self. Hurts whatever I do.
I don't know dudette, I'm not a proponent of drugs but if they can make me forget how big of a fuck up I am maybe they're the answer afterall.
You know, now that I think of it I would kill for a MiB-mind erase tool, maybe if I could forget every misstep I've done I could start a new and turn into a normal fucking person.
trab pu kcip
Member
just go for a walk or something, even that can help. Even if it's just once a day. I know that without my dog I probably wouldn't leave the house all day and that can make things even worse.
there's no restart button in life, although we all wish to have one from time to time I guess
Just posting an update in case anyone
was worried or concerned
that I wasn't around.
I've been doing okay the last couple of days. The person who was making me depressed really hasn't contacted me and I have no contacted him. I was able to shift my feelings of pain more towards a feeling of disgust or great dislike.
I'm not drinking myself to sleep every night or taking sleeping pills or anything like that... and I've actually been able to get a bit of work done.
most likely no one
or happy
I've been doing okay the last couple of days. The person who was making me depressed really hasn't contacted me and I have no contacted him. I was able to shift my feelings of pain more towards a feeling of disgust or great dislike.
I'm not drinking myself to sleep every night or taking sleeping pills or anything like that... and I've actually been able to get a bit of work done.
What would you like to know?
http://www.integration.samhsa.gov/images/res/PHQ - Questions.pdf
Here's the screening questionnaire we use here at [major hospital!]. It's widely used, well studied, well validated.
If what I've been feeling for a long time has anything to do with depression. How it comes about, if it's hereditary, best courses of action if it's something I've been living with.
Those questions were a little unnerving, especially number 8. The past few months I've been finding next to impossible to talk without pausing and having to think about every word I say.
What was your score?
TUROK
Member
As someone who has tried to quit drinking tons of times (currently giving it another shot), I'd advise staying away from alcohol. Alcohol in moderation is awesome, but once you hit the point where you need it all the time, being sober becomes awful.
My best experience with drugs was the first time I took Vicodin. Top 5 moments of pure euphoria. Nothing has ever come close, and I doubt anything ever will.
Of course, Vicodin abuse can fuck your liver up, so I can't really endorse using it recreationally.
Twenty.
So that potentially puts you in the "severe depression" range. If your symptoms are making it hard to live your life (and it sounds like they are), then you should probably see a doc for further evaluation.
So, as to your other questions, really, really briefly:
Is depression genetic? Sure. The heritability of depression is estimated to be about 50% (probably higher for women and in cases of severe depression). There's no gene for depression - it's a complex illness (probably actually a group of illnesses) linked to an ever-growing list of neurotransmitters, receptors, enzymes, inflammatory markers, and on and on.
What brings it on? It's not always clear. Causes are generally split into three categories, all of which can interact. So this is the popular "biopsychosocial" model:
Bio - your biological makeup. This is where family history and heritability come in.
Psycho - psychological factors. Losing a loved one, childhood abuse, stressors of all kinds
Social - what kind of support system do you have? Friends, family, loved ones
How do you treat it? Meds (all sorts of choices), therapy (again, multiple choices), both, watchful waiting, ECT, diet, nutrition, social support...
Generally, for people with severe depression, especially with prominent suicidality, doctors are going to recommend meds more strongly, in addition to therapy. The most severe cases may require hospitalization, ECT, intensive therapy - basically a bit of everything.
Depression is a HUGE topic, and new science is coming in every day. I can recommend some books, articles, etc. that go into way more depth, if you're interested. Any questions are welcome, too.
Thanks dude. I know as a child I was told my mum had depression, but that's about the only contact I had with it.
Any articles could actually be pretty helpful as well. Would you recommend seeing a doctor?
I understand, vicodon is discontinued here since the 60s or something but I'm sure I'll be able to get my hands on some through other means. I got citodone for my back the past summer and while I'm sure that's "babbys first opiate-derivate" it really made me feel better when I took a couple at a time, a slight sense of euphoria and that "things might turn out ok after all". I miss that feeling.
What I wouldn't give for a dog in my life, my very own best friend that's by my side all the time. Though seeing as I can't take care of myself how would I take care of him/her...
TUROK
Member
If you're going to get your hands on it, be careful that you don't take too many at once or in a 24, because the acetaminophen can destroy your liver. Do your research on it. Also, know that it can be very addictive, and that withdrawl symptoms are hell to go through.
I don't endorse the recreational use of any drug, but knowledge can help you stay safe. Do A LOT of research, and don't be afraid to ask questions.
trab pu kcip
Member
taking care of someone could help you taking care of yourself though, but I'm no therapist. maybe you don't have to own a dog, you could start with taking some of the dogs from the animal shelter for a walk, at least that's what you can do in germany
still sounds better than drugs to me
trab pu kcip
Member
well that sounds like a positive development, neogaf is proud.
TUROK
Member
Any progress is good progress. Fingers crossed it continues.
Let me see what I can pull up. I actually had a few articles to post here - I forgot about that! Let me just check that they're open-access.
I'd strongly recommend seeing a doctor. The screening tools are probably less important than just your feeling that you might be depressed. It's just a way to see if the symptoms sound like depression, or if it's more likely something else.
A psychiatrist would be your best bet, but you might need to see a primary care doc for a referral. Your primary doc may also be comfortable prescribing something, if you feel like that's something you want to try.
Getting help sooner rather than later makes a lot of sense - it becomes harder to ask for that help the more depressed you are.
I haven't tried this, but I certainly will!
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2013/02/14/mostly-indescribable-depression-quest/
http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2013/02/14/mostly-indescribable-depression-quest/
I appreciate it, I don't want to come across as frivolous with regards to this issue but I'm in a dark hole now.
taking care of someone could help you taking care of yourself though, but I'm no therapist. maybe you don't have to own a dog, you could start with taking some of the dogs from the animal shelter for a walk, at least that's what you can do in germany
still sounds better than drugs to me
You know, I'll have a look and see if there's anything like that around me
<3trab pu kcip
Member
I appreciate it, I don't want to come across as frivolous with regards to this issue but I'm in a dark hole now.
You know, I'll have a look and see if there's anything like that around me
that's great! tell how it worked out =)
Charoncaori
Member
I've felt like that too, when I was really lonely at college. The feeling when I actually got to eat something was really great, though. I used to go to an italian/pizza place late at night and they'd give me free garlic knots and sometimes cookies, too. (with the other food I'd ordered)
Here are some resources about mental illness that I posted forever ago.
It's surprising to me how many journal articles are behind paywalls. Shit sucks.
With the usual caveat that reading a research paper is no substitute for seeing a mental health professional, here are two reviews I like:
Using the PHQ-9 to diagnose&manage depression for the non-psychiatrist doctor.
Using side effects to tailor antidepressant therapy (again, for the non-psychiatrist physician).
The big journals for psychiatry are Molecular Psychiatry (more basic science than clinical practice, generally), American Journal of Psychiatry, Archives of General Psychiatry, and Biological Psychiatry (there are others, too, of course, and you can find stuff in JAMA, NEJM - the usual places to find really hot medical research). Some articles will be free to read, and you can usually read summaries and news on their websites. For more of an overview, you're probably better off with some of the books I talk about, below. Depression is such a broad topic, I'm not sure I actually have one definitive review anywhere, from any year, to recommend.
It's surprising to me how many journal articles are behind paywalls. Shit sucks.
With the usual caveat that reading a research paper is no substitute for seeing a mental health professional, here are two reviews I like:
Using the PHQ-9 to diagnose&manage depression for the non-psychiatrist doctor.
Using side effects to tailor antidepressant therapy (again, for the non-psychiatrist physician).
The big journals for psychiatry are Molecular Psychiatry (more basic science than clinical practice, generally), American Journal of Psychiatry, Archives of General Psychiatry, and Biological Psychiatry (there are others, too, of course, and you can find stuff in JAMA, NEJM - the usual places to find really hot medical research). Some articles will be free to read, and you can usually read summaries and news on their websites. For more of an overview, you're probably better off with some of the books I talk about, below. Depression is such a broad topic, I'm not sure I actually have one definitive review anywhere, from any year, to recommend.
NAMI National Alliance on Mental Illness
"The Bridge" A documentary inspired by the New Yorker article I linked above. A film maker filmed the Golden Gate bridge for one year and recorded over two dozen people leaping to their death (many others were talked out of jumping). A powerful film about the dramatic effects a suicide has on the people left behind.
Night Falls Fast: Understanding Suicide
The best single volume on suicide. The author, Kay Jamison, is a Johns Hopkins professor with bipolar disorder. She has an autobiography, An Unquiet Mind, and a book exploring the relationship between mental illness and the artistic temperament:
The Noonday Demon: An Atlas of Depression
Less information about the molecular basis of (some forms of? some part of?) depression than a receptor biologist like myself may want, but just tons of good information.
The author was on the program "Speaking of Faith," on an episode entitled "The Soul in Depression." Very interesting.
Unholy Ghost: Writers on Depression
Shrink Rap - three psychiatrists discuss their work. they have a book and a podcast, too.
How to Good-bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
Not quite as amazing as the title, but still a classic in the field. I'm not sure what field that would be, but whatever it is, this is a classic.
The Antidepressant Era
Introduction to Neuropsychopharmacology
A surprisingly readable, small-ish text about the major neurotransmitters in your brain, what they're doing in there, and how they function in disease and pharmacology. Includes discussions of the major psychiatric disorders including coverage of the main drugs of abuse. A good place to start if you really want to dig in to the topic.
Molecular Psychiatry
The latest original research into the molecular causes of psychiatric disorders. Look at the blog, the news, and the roundup of the latest articles if you're not too familiar with the scientific literature.
Steverulez
Member
Been on anti-depressants for about 2 months now (Mirtazapine) and been upped to a 30mg dose. Been signed off work for almost 3 weeks now and got another 3 weeks until I go back to see the doctor.
Don't really want to go back to work to be honest, its part of the problem but I need the money right now (just been put on Statutory sick pay) and I have no idea what I would do with my life instead now (im 22, trainee accountant).
Had my first counselling session on Wednesday, spent most of it in tears about how shitty I think my life is, I can relate to a lot of the OP in the "How do I become a real person" thread and now that im out of uni life has just gotten worse :/
Don't really want to go back to work to be honest, its part of the problem but I need the money right now (just been put on Statutory sick pay) and I have no idea what I would do with my life instead now (im 22, trainee accountant).
Had my first counselling session on Wednesday, spent most of it in tears about how shitty I think my life is, I can relate to a lot of the OP in the "How do I become a real person" thread and now that im out of uni life has just gotten worse :/
The UpToDate (they do comprehensive review articles for physicians [and patients] )article on depression is a really good place to start. PM me if you want me to email it to you.
I'm getting bombarded with messages about Depression Quest.
http://www.beesgo.biz/dq/DQfinal.html#
Meet up in chat in an hour or two to talk about it a bit?
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3. CHANNEL: "#depression_gaf depressionsucks"
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I was wondering where you were haven't seen you post or in the chats in a while. Glad you are feeling better.
You could volunteer at an animal shelter or try to get a job at a pet store or something. I've been thinking of doing that myself because I really love animals. Have some awesome dogs myself, Italian Greyhounds.taking care of someone could help you taking care of yourself though, but I'm no therapist. maybe you don't have to own a dog, you could start with taking some of the dogs from the animal shelter for a walk, at least that's what you can do in germany
still sounds better than drugs to me
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