Sent home sick from work, time for WREEEEESTLEMANIA! (And most likely disappointment, haven't seen RAW in weeks)
Took like, 7 minutes to get started, as usual...
JBL, sweet! Fuck off King, get JR instead.
Big Shoe/Orton/Sheamus vs. The Shield:
Let's go Ambrose chants, awesome!
Sheamus is pretty much a one man team.
Crazy suicide dive by Rollins, thought he hurt himself there for a moment.
Show could have just caught Sheamus, he just helped powerbomb him instead.
SPEAR SPEAR SPEAR! YES! Ambrose with the pin as well! Fun opener. 1-1.
Well I didn't see Big Shoe doing that... Oh wait, yes I did, so did everyone else.
Oh fuck, Cena time... No one cares that you lost Cena, it doesn't even matter, you get title shots like fucking candy, stop bitching about it.
Mark Henry vs. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG:
LOOOOOOOL like Henry wouldn't walk that weightlifting contest with ease. Still, I wonder how this is going to go! Hopefully he botches lifting Henry, that'll be awesome.
Nice to hear Ryberg being booed like Henry gets cheered.
It's been like 2 minutes, why is Ryback wheezing already?
Pretty slow and boring match so far.
THAT'S WHAT I DO! Fuck yea Henry.
Well we managed to lift him up at least, nice to see Henry drop on top.
AND WIN! Sweet! That's 2-2 results wise so far!
SOMEBODY GET THEIR ASS KICKED! SOMEBODY GONNA GET THEIR WIG SPLIT! You go back in there Mark, get him!
Ah fuck, there's the Shellshock... But King told me Ryback was knocked out a minute ago!
The fuck is wrong with their toys!? Lol, JBL hitting that Rey toy.
Team Hell No vs. Ziggles/Big E:
Dolph better be cashing that shit in later tonight!
AJ looks yummy as always.

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!
53% retain their titles? Really Cole? So basically, 50/50? Idiot.
YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!
Almost 18 seconds all over again! That AJ curse...
Big E's a beast!
If I wanted a twitter feed, I'd go on twitter, fucking WWE.
Ziggles sells so good.
That was a 3 count! Big E was in the air for like 2 seconds!
Obvious finish, still fun to watch though. Pretty good match. Also means 3-3 results wise.
Fuuuuuuck, the whole crowd's just like YES! YES! YES! with Bryan leading the way in the middle. So good. What a change from last year.
Y2J vs. Fandangoo:
Should be interesting, Y2J will defo do the job though

.
Y2J taking the piss lool.
CESARO! Why the fuck doesn't he have a match!? Fucking WWE...
Fandangoo looks like a douche.
Codebroken? God damn it Cole, just shut up.
Nice leap from the top rope by Y2J to the outside.
Where did Jericho get that cut from?
Leg Drop!!! Wow, never seen that before. At least it didn't beat Jericho there.
Oh wow... What a shitty finish, K2 classic right there. It doesn't even help to elevate Fandangoo with that kinda finish. 3-4 now, the roll is over.
Barrett lost? To a shitty figure four? To the MIZ!? What a fucking waste. 3-5...
Diddy? Why the fuck are you here? Is this going to be worse than last years song, cause that's what it looks like... IM TOUGH DIDDY, SO IMA PUT MY HAND UP LIKE YOU ASKED!!
No, you don't see us in London, you fool.
I'm coming home? I'd wish you GO home Diddy.
And there he goes, about fucking time.
Swagger vs. Del Rio:
Ziggles better cash in!
So Swagger's with his racist uncle now? Well at least it's a change.
Swagger just got a jobber entrance? At Wrestlemania? LOOOOOOOOOOL.
The hell? I don't like Del Rio's new theme... Still think Ricardo should be WHC instead of Del Rio.
SI! SI! SI!
WE WANT ZIGGLER! *CLAP! CLAP! CLAP!* WE WANT ZIGGLER!
1 or 2 nice submission counters there. Pretty boring match otherwise though.
And Swagger taps. Now, someone kick the shit outta Del Rio and Ziggles can come out!
No Ziggler? Fucking hell, why not!? That's 3-6 now. Great start, but it's going downhill, save us Punk? Cause I know Rock's not gonna win.
C.M. Punk vs. The Undertaker:
Well I already know Punk loses, let's just hope it's a good match.
Punk with the urn is comedy gold!
Live intro, awesome! Punk deserves it.
Punk and Heyman together are just too good.
God damn I forgot how long Taker takes to get down the ramp...........
It's nice to hear Punk/Taker dueling chants rather than LET'S GO CENA!/CENA SUCKS!
Punk going Old School and the following Punk chants bring a tear to my eye.
Taker teasing that leap.
USE THE POWER OF THE URN!
Table didn't break from the elbow, ouch...
TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP! TAP!
What a shitty GTS lol, AND THERE'S THE TOMBSTONE! Game over. 1. 2. What? He kicked out! Who does Punk think he is, HHH?
Nice urn trick, and pin by Punk. Obvious it wasn't going to be a 3 count though.
And there's the Tombstone again, no way back now! Great match, easily the best of the night so far (And most likely overall, I doubt Cena/Rock can live up to this).
Argh, not Cena BS AGAIN...
Oh yea, forgot about HHH/Bork Laser match. It's going to be annoying to see HHH win... And why the hell is this on AFTER Punk/Taker?
HHH vs. Bork Laser:
HBK from nowhere!
BY THE POWER OF GREYSKULL... HHH HAS THE POOOOOWER!
Hopefully this is better than their last match, I felt it was pretty boring.
Bork is beasting it with those suplexes. Gonna be great when HHH hits a pedigree outta nowhere.
F5 to HBK, that's what happens when you attack Bork Laser!
Sledgehammer time.
F5 to HHH now! He's defo gonna kick out though.
And that he does.
BREAK HIS ARM! BREAK HIS ARM!
HBK you dick, how dare you SCM Heyman!
What a crappy finish... HHH wins as expected. Pretty average match TBH. Bork/Cena was waaaaay better than both Bork/HHH matches.
Trump got booed haha.
Cena music hits, boos ring out, sounds just like RAW. Heel turn, Cena, please, finally?
The Rock vs. Joooooooooooooooohn 'Same Old Shit' Ceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeena:
Decent start, commentary need to get their mouths back from around Cena's cock and their tongue from up his ass though.
Crowd split 50/50? Fuck you King, that's the biggest piece of bullshit I've heard all night.
The boos when Cena goes for the 5 knuckle shuffle, so good.
Cena's STFU looks like shit as always...
Cena jumping up an AA'ing an opponent only moments after a finisher/signature? SHOCK!
Peoples Elbow ended CM Punks historic 400+ days reign. Against Cena? Hardly a 2 count. And of course he's back on his feet 10 seconds after the Rock had to lift and roll him back in the ring. GREAT SELLING!
And another Rock Bottom! And Cena kicks out the moment he heard 2.
Uh, Rock, Cena CAN see you, in fact I bet he's about to jump up... And do that. Fucking Cena.
That was a decent Rock Bottom by Cena, best thing he's done all night!
Cena's peoples elbow was pretty funny.
ANOTHER ROCK BOTTOM!? And still Cena doesn't lose? Wow... I mean, I know Cena will win at the end but come on. 3 Rock Bottoms and a peoples elbow?
This Rock Bottom in AA into Rock Bottom is beginning to get silly.
Ah, I knew the moment he jumped up it was over. What a fucking joke of a finish. It's what he does EVERY FUCKING RAW. What bullshit. I'm also disappointed he didn't get booed the fuck outta the building, the hell WWE Universe?
Edit: At least the boos during the hug were something...