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[EleventhDoctor]

I'm a married guy-been married 9 years. When my wife and I first met, like many people I'm sure, things were pretty wild.

Fast forward to today, and I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. There's never a way to request this without her being offended. But if I don't ask it will never happen.

Anyone able to successfully request this without coming across as desperate or disgusting to your wife/SO?

EDIT: This thread has taken a life of it's own, but I feel a need to clarify-based on the thread title, I'm basically looking for a humorous way to propose this act in a "loving" way, which seems impossible to pull off. People have posted some great Louis CK bits, the Dick in a Box SNL bit, and some great one liners. Thanks for your advice everyone-but at this point, just looking for some laughs from other married guys who have been in the same position....not "BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT?"

 

[A good poster]

It has to be in the rain.

 

[Drazgul]

Just slip it in, no point asking first.

 

[braves01]

I'm a married guy-been married 9 years. When my wife and I first met, like many people I'm sure, things were pretty wild.

Fast forward to today, and I feel like in walking on eggshells. There's never a way to request this without her being offended. But if I don't ask it will never happen.

Anyone able to successfully request this without coming across as desperate or disgusting to your wife/SO?

Get her diamonds. She'll pretty much have to.

 

[EleventhDoctor]

Get her diamonds. She'll pretty much have to.

Oh sure. Once.

 

[6.8]

I just mention that it doesn't happen anymore from time to time and she keeps not doing it.

I would like to know this as well.

 

[Naked Snake]

Louis CK - World's Saddest Handjob

 

[ShaneDude]

Hey babe, can you go down on me?

 

[NoRéN]

Wrap a bow on it. Walk into the room naked. Sneak up behind her and give her a gentle poke. When she turns and makes eye contact say "Surprise".

 

[DY_nasty]

It ain't gonna suck itself

 

[ComputerMKII]

I wish I had your problems.

 

[Count Dookkake]

"I know it's pretty, but I didn't take it out for air."

 

[LuchaShaq]

9 years in and you still can't communicate sexually? Damn man!

Just tell her you want it and that she looks great doing it or whatever along those lines.

It's not that complicated.

 

[Nevasleep]

Just keep nudging her head down

 

[Carbonox]

Then whip it out.

 

[SmokeMaxX]

Just hide yo dick in a dozen roses.

 

[CornBurrito]

Ok so buy a box of chocolates. The box needs to be heart shaped. Cut a hole in the box.

You know the rest.

Just hide yo dick in a dozen roses.

This also works, but make sure to get the thorns off the roses.

 

[feel]

Do a great job at eating her out first, if she's a decent person she'll feel the need to return the favor.

 

[helloresolven]

Print out this thread once it has run its course & put on fridge.

 

[Aiii]

Go down on her, wait for the return favor.

 

[JB1981]

Why the FUCK would she be offended by you asking for head? She married you. She should want to suck your dick

 

[Marc13]

Go down on her first?

You need to talk with her to see what she might be thinking. Tell her how you feel too.

 

[EleventhDoctor]

9 years in and you still can't communicate sexually? Damn man!

Just tell her you want it and that she looks great doing it or whatever along those lines.

It's not that complicated.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh


Maybe that works in Romantic Movie Land, but not in the real world.

 

[Kwixotik]

Do you ever go down on her?

 

[I'm an expert]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-iPtLUQrp4

Op, don't listen to the people sayin shit like "why don't you just blah blah", they don't live in the world we do. Unfortunately, I got nothin for ya.

 

[Yaboosh]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh


Maybe that works in Romantic Movie Land, but not in the real world.

Maybe not in your crappy real world.

 

[bud]

when she's sitting on the couch, walk up to her from behind, and rest your half-erect phallus on her right shoulder (this is critical, it cannot be her left shoulder).

nature will take care of the rest.

 

[FyreWulff]

1) Talk to her about it
2) Take the initiative and go down on her first

 

[computers putin']

whip it out and just say "c'mon" over and over.

 

[Davidion]

Go down on her first.

 

[EleventhDoctor]

Do you ever go down on her?

Sure-but only when SHE'S in the mood. That's the problem. It's like waiting around for a full moon so she can turn into a werewolf. What am I supposed to do the other 29 days of the month.

If she's not interested in sex, she doesn't give me oral "just because". That's the problem.

 

[Tummi Gummi]

It ain't gonna suck itself

Can't stop the A-Train!





Anyway, 69.

 

[XiaNaphryz]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh


Maybe that works in Romantic Movie Land, but not in the real world.

...are you serious?

 

[A good poster]

How flexible are you, OP?

 

[oatmeal]

Suck me, beautiful.

 

[freenudemacusers]

"suck me, beautiful"

edit: goddamnit!

 

[EleventhDoctor]

How flexible are you, OP?

If I could do that, I'd never leave the house.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahh


Maybe that works in Romantic Movie Land, but not in the real world.

Not sure that you are in a position to be laughing at others, but your point makes sense.

Looks like you fell for the Romantic Movie Land con.

 

[arab]

will you felate me please

 

[bud]

Suck me, beautiful.

that's so romantic.

 

[Half and half]

Then whip it out.

Lol nice

 

[Manmademan]

Sure-but only when SHE'S in the mood. That's the problem. It's like waiting around for a full moon so she can turn into a werewolf. What am I supposed to do the other 29 days of the month.

If she's not interested in sex, she doesn't give me oral "just because". That's the problem.

get a mistress. problem solved.

 

[Evolution_1ne]

she'll know what your talking about

 

[Devolution]

You just demand it dude.

What's up anyway do you do that weakass suggestion/questioning about it?

I...ummm...honey...could....could you...suck my dick? No? Just...for a little...bit? Please? I'll settle for you licking the tip....once...

 

[Count Dookkake]

"Don't waste it, taste it."

 

[EleventhDoctor]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-iPtLUQrp4

Op, don't listen to the people sayin shit like "why don't you just blah blah", they don't live in the world we do. Unfortunately, I got nothin for ya.

You're the only one that understands me...

 

[FStop7]

when she's sitting on the couch, walk up to her from behind, and rest your half-erect phallus on her right shoulder (this is critical, it cannot be her left shoulder).

nature will take care of the rest.

This works even better if you speak in a parrot voice.

 

[Adam J.]

just tell her to kiss you all over. Once she's below the waist she'll take the bait and bite the worm.

 

[Raiden]

Maybe not in your crappy real world.

Yeah really. OP just increased his douchepoints with that comment.


Anyway, i never really asked for it with my ex gf, i just pushed her down gently, she usually got the hint.

 

[Kinyou]

Time for that blowjob tug of war