JoJoShabadoo
Member
I'd like to know this as well. It's turning into a once-a-month thing when it used to be twice a week a few months back. I'm afraid of what comes next haha.
Is there ever a romantic way to request oral?
- Thread starter EleventhDoctor
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Choke on the Magic
Banned
Half and half
Member
Tell her that's all you want for your birthday. Seriously. That'll cover you for at least once a year.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Avatarqoute
Atramental
Banned
Ooops! Looks like you married someone you're not sexually compatible with.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
If you can't get into a reasonable discussion/negotiation about sexual needs with your spouse after being together that long, you're likely SOL.
brianjones
Member
man i hated oral presentations in school
whats the best way to take this pill? oral ? cool
how much do you think oral surgeons make
whats the best way to take this pill? oral ? cool
how much do you think oral surgeons make
NaughtyCalibur
Member
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
That pretty much tells me to never get married. If after 9 years, requesting simple sexual relations is complicated, marriage makes everything worse.
freenudemacusers
Member
Devolution
Member
Or some people are just shit at communicating and they always have been.
Get a Pringles can, layer the inside of the can with one huge ziplock bag, make sure the bag is open and the bottom of the bag can snag your dick. Squirt a ton of lotion/lube into the bag inside the can, stroke the inside the of bag so the walls of the bag are lubricated.
Fuck the Pringles can. Any time afterwards, tell your wife you need to talk to her about something serious. Tell her you've been unfaithful and have been cheating on her, then bring out the Pringles can. This will work even better if you zip up the cum inside the bag.
She'll either feel really guilty that she's driven you to have sex with Pringles cans, and have oral sex with you, or she'll be weirded out and pissed off for a week. She might potentially leave you.
Fuck the Pringles can. Any time afterwards, tell your wife you need to talk to her about something serious. Tell her you've been unfaithful and have been cheating on her, then bring out the Pringles can. This will work even better if you zip up the cum inside the bag.
She'll either feel really guilty that she's driven you to have sex with Pringles cans, and have oral sex with you, or she'll be weirded out and pissed off for a week. She might potentially leave you.
Al-ibn Kermit
Junior Member
Just tell her to lean back and start going down on her. If there is karma in your marriage, you'll also get some (maybe at the same time).
You guys have problems. And you are unhappyn with your sex life. Which will show up in other ways. Mannerisims, behavior, attitude.
8 year relationship I had was full of fucking, sloppy blow jobs, and pissing on eachoter in the shower. Can't "real world" people. You guys need to have an adult conversation about your sex life.
Came to post this.. should have been first post.
Ninja Scooter
Member
Get her to watch Star Trek TNG first.
tornjaw
Member
Um, yeah. Taking to your wife about your sexual needs and desires is how it works in the Real World™
Sex, like anything else in a marriage should be give and take. If you want oral sex, whether it's oral more often during sex or just spontaneously receiving you have to tell her. On the flip side, you need to be open to what and how she wants things.
If this "offends" her then you need to address that issue as well by means of a marriage counselor or another type of party.
Funky Papa
FUNK-Y-PPA-4
I mean no offense, but I don't want to live in your real world.
PsihoPerihelion
Member
I really, really like you.
Devolution
Member
Married 9 years and laughs at the idea of communicating with his partner. Is this a troll thread?
The Anti-Monitor
Banned
Man, the Romantic Movies I watch don't usually include the line "Honey, may you suck my dick?"
freenudemacusers
Member
all that watersports drove you apart
;P
honestly I would think 90% of women out there would laugh if someone sincerely, romantically, said that.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Oh man....that's 100% spot on.
speculawyer
Member
This bit is so damn funny.
A good poster
Banned
Master Milk
Member
Take a shower.
Shave your bush.
No fragrances.
Tell her you want your dick sucked.
Shave your bush.
No fragrances.
Tell her you want your dick sucked.
EleventhDoctor
Banned
No I'm laughing at the thought that someone believes I HAVEN'T DONE THAT YET.
speculawyer
Member
I never noticed the pointing before now.
Devolution
Member
TIME TO DO IT AGAIN SINCE YOU FAILED.
Count Dookkake
Member
"Hey, baby, you want breakfast in bed?"
man, i've always wanted to piss on a girl in the shower, and get pissed on by her at the same time. it seems like so much fun.
freenudemacusers
Member
yo suck her dick then roll over on your back while she's almost ready to jizz. she should be able to put 2+2 together.
Devolution
Member
I got your protein shake right here.
OrangeJulius
Member
Sounds to me like you just aren't all that compatible, or maybe one or both of you is a bit prudish. It's just a blow job man. I'm almost 9 years in on my relationship and my SO and I go down on each other quite regularly.
In a healthy sexual relationship it shouldn't be something you have to feel awkward about.
In a healthy sexual relationship it shouldn't be something you have to feel awkward about.
PinkCrayon
Member
Go down on her first. One must give to receive.
edit: saw above
edit: saw above
Choke on the Magic
Banned
You just have to find what turns your wife on OP. My wife likes rape fantasy role play so it makes getting a bj a breeze.
I don't even have to ask. What the fuck is wrong with your wife?
EleventhDoctor
Banned
Zoramon089
Banned
Tell you have a present for her but you can only give it to her at the party in her mouth
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