Mental Health |OT| Depression & Co.

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To conclude my freewriting for this evening, I'm going to write about our head honcho, the man known as Bagels.

I started to write this post and I made it about four paragraphs in until I realized it was unfocused shit. There's just too much to say and the more I try to say it, the less impact it makes. Hence, I'm going to make it short.

My health is a well-known topic around these parts, as is the emotional state it often puts me in. Bagels has offered to house me while I get treatment. There are very few people in my life (outside of family) who would make this offer to me, given the variables. I could count them on one hand and probably wouldn't use all of the fingers. Along with everything else he's done for me, this is the sign of a very strong, lifelong friendship which has meant more to me than I can adequately put into words. And he knows (or I hope he knows) that I would do the same goddamn thing for him. He's my brother, in a life where I wasn't blessed with any biological ones.

And he's really fucking awesome at Ys. Booyah.
 
Smiley90 said:
Drinking my sorrows away. Feels good/bad. Fuck this shit.
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Come on IRC and be among friends.

And jb, man, just...thanks. You know how I feel about you. And, not to take away from the brotherly love between jb and I, which is very real, I hope you guys know that I would do the same for many of you. I'll do whatever I can to help you guys get better. :')
 
Bagels said:
Come on IRC and be among friends.

And jb, man, just...thanks. You know how I feel about you. And, not to take away from the brotherly love between jb and I, which is very real, I hope you guys know that I would do the same for many of you. I'll do whatever I can to help you guys get better. :')
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I'm at a CCR concert with buddies. Drinking. I'll be on later.

Yes, that's THE CCR.
 
Collete said:
I'll keep ya in mind then if I ever get more people to sell things to hah.



What painting would you want if I ever sell any?

Also a quick update...I now dub our top posters in the Wall of Life...Seems appropriate.

walloflivingtksuz.jpg


Classy's trying to catch up to me...I can't have that.
I need to post more depressing thoughts.
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Didn't realize I was that high on the list of posts there. To be quite honest, I'm actually surprised since I haven't post that much in here.
 
Colin (Colin.) is the most helpful man on IRC. I can’t think of anyone friendlier to newcomers, someone who you an count on more to listen when you need it, more willing to share his own struggles in an effort to help you. He’s part of our awesome European group on IRC - we have a really awesome group spanning NA, Europe, Australia, and NZ, and we all get to interact - so we’re not always on at the same time. But I keep hearing from people about how they were feeling down and Colin (usually with Filler and/or Swe and bugs along) was there to cheer him or her up. I hear it over and over again. And it’s no surprise, as Colin has always been ready to listen to me when I’ve been down.

Colin is also always there to slam someone through a coffee table (he does like to use professional wrestling to display his affection) to make them feel better. It took a while before I caught Colin one-on-one in our voice chat server. Colin, like jb, or Filler, or many of the rest of us, pairs near constant silliness (many of us go to chat to joke around and cheer up) with a need to also have very serious times. When we finally got to talk on mumble, we had a really engaging, fascinating talk. Colin is so willing to share from the painful experiences of his life if he thinks they may help others. There’s a maturity and selflessness there that I really admire. And while I have some kind of undeserved reputation for being nice (I’m honestly NOT all that nice), Colin is the real deal. Come to IRC and say hi to Colin. Recently, we had a community member who needed someone to talk to. And I had talked to this person, but I had to go do something, so he/she asked, “well who should I talk to?” I was so happy to see Colin online, as that was the obvious choice. He has a great deal of wisdom to offer, along with his kindness, and good humor. There’s no better choice if you need someone to talk to in IRC.

Like many of the people who have made their home in our IRC channel and mumble server, Colin has become a very important friend to me, very quickly. What’s cool is he’s so willing to offer that friendship to others - like Beckster, who just showed up in our IRC. Colin will have given you an affectionate nickname before you know it, and he’ll be giving you that suplex you need when you’re down. Also, his Scottish accent is awesome.
 
Colin

colin is nice

sometimes i accidently spell it with two l's

then i realize my mistake

but he is a wonderful soul

and he is good lookin' *winkity, wink*
 
This song, along with taking a huge risk and confiding in a friend who would become my (now ex-) best friend, saved my life in July 2011, when I had my first episode of almost committing suicide.

B.J. Thomas - Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed
Nothin' seems to fit
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head
They keep fallin'

So I just did me some talkin' to the sun
And I said I didn't like the way he got things done
Sleepin' on the job
Those raindrops are fallin' on my head
They keep fallin'

But there's one thing I know
The blues they send to meet me
Won't defeat me
It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free, nothing's worryin' me

It won't be long till happiness steps up to greet me

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red
Crying's not for me
'Cause I'm never gonna stop the rain by complainin'
Because I'm free, nothing's worryin' me

The bolded lyrics are actually what kept me going. Without this song, I'd actually be dead.
 
my birthday is coming up and it gives me anxiety because i'm not sure if my dad will call me or not and that makes me sad and mad

i don't wanna think about it
 
RIYL Podcast: "Marbles: Mania, Depression, Michelangelo, and Me: A Graphic Memoir is that sort of book that makes you want to immediately spark up a conversation with its creator. Thankfully, that's what podcasts are for. In this episode, I interview the creator, cartoonist Ellen Forney, who was nominated in 2007 for an Eisner award for her reality-based comic, I Love Led Zeppelin."


The book

"Shortly before her thirtieth birthday, Forney was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Flagrantly manic and terrified that medications would cause her to lose creativity, she began a years-long struggle to find mental stability while retaining her passions and creativity.

Searching to make sense of the popular concept of the crazy artist, she finds inspiration from the lives and work of other artists and writers who suffered from mood disorders, including Vincent van Gogh, Georgia O’Keeffe, William Styron, and Sylvia Plath. She also researches the clinical aspects of bipolar disorder, including the strengths and limitations of various treatments and medications, and what studies tell us about the conundrum of attempting to “cure” an otherwise brilliant mind."
 
Gonna be going to the Hamptons for the weekend for my brothers bachelor party. Rented a big ass house out there, hopefully I'll return with a few pictures for DGAF because I know you guys love your pictures!

jb1234 said:
Continuing our freewrite theme, I'd like to talk about Lionheart1827. Or, as I like to call him, Lion. Or Lionheart. Or pussy.

Lionheart first came into our lives a couple of months ago, when he sought out support for his beast harlot of an ex (sorry, Lion but it's true. But then, I'm biased). Back then, we knew him as the man who conquered cancer, the man with the heart of a lion. I bonded with him quickly, as while most people in D-Gaf share mental burdens, Lion and I have struggled with matters of a more physical nature. I felt a little out of place in some ways until he came onto the scene and I finally had someone who understood how truly terrifying it is when your body betrays you.

So I already knew he was awesome. He fucking killed cancer! But then there was his all-consuming love for Chrono Trigger, something which branded him as extra-awesome. We've discussed the game. We've discussed its music. We've discussed the game *while* listening to its music. And occasionally, we'll talk about other games but who cares? It's Chrono fuckin' Trigger! As a project, I promised that I'd write some variations on a theme from CT but alas, it has gone by the wayside while I've worked on a set of preludes. But don't fret buddy, it's coming!

In mumble, Lion is a relatively quiet guy. He likes to sit back and let the rest of us loonies run the show, occasionally chiming in with an insightful comment. But in reality, he's one of the loudest guys I know, in the way that he shows his support. When I'm feeling down (and it happens a lot), I can count on a PM (or tweet) from Lion. In fact, the moment I knew he'd be my brother was during a dark period when he sent me this amazing PM which capsulized not only the meaning of friendship but the struggle that we as humans face. To live is to fight and he gave me strength not only in saying that but in being a strong shoulder when I needed it.

Recently, he has joined the D-Gaf obsession with the Ys series, which has led to a few funny exchanges where he proclaims his boss-induced rage and I laugh at him. The lion has been tamed! The mane has been cut!

Like that could ever happen. I love you, buddy. Roar for me.
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Man, got something in my eye over here...

You're my bro JB! You're a great guy that doesn't deserve this kind of shit, none of us do! Unfortunately, that is the cards we have been dealt. Thought it may on the surface make us seem like weaklings that we have physical and mental issues, in reality, it makes us stronger, builds character, to just look that shit in the eye and say "go fuck yourself, I'm not gonna let you bring me down permanently."

One of my favorite movie speeches is from the last Rocky movie where he is talking to his son about the real world, but it can apply to any of us here in DGaf, here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=FkJLTGweKl0#t=46

Yeah maybe a little cheesy, but its easy to relate to and has a good message. Just keep movin' forward and kicking ass!
 
Bagels said:
She was previously known as Nithdia and Nithidis. Her old avatar was more memorable, too. Any bells ringing?
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No one likes any of my avatars besides "the original". :C

Guess it's imprinted in your minds or something. Better Bagels???? :p
 
I don't know if they did this to coincide with suicide prevention week, but just the fact they are willing to portray their character to do ridiculous actions (especially the last panel) is pretty appalling.

Also, I know most of you aren't religious, but if you don't have much to do at around 12 pm Central time, take a look at this.

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=671477&highlight=

If you decide to participate, it'll be a different pace than a usual Saturday I think? If this offends you guys, I'll just take it down.
 
Bagels said:
Our long national nightmare is over. ;)

DC comics - what are you doing?!
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>_>

Probably trying to distract the negative spotlight away from the Batwoman issue. Don't know why going from one bad publicity idea to another is going to help though.
 
I don't want to get out of bed this morning. She is in my mind. Suicidal thoughts are creeping in again. I won't act on them, but their existence alone scares me and helps me realize just how sad I truly am. Why am I still this wrecked three months later?! I was so emotionally invested in her.

I threw my best friend's bachelor party last night. We took him out to eat at Don Pablo's and then took him to a local small-time theater that's been around since 1941. I rented out the whole theater and we watched one of his all-time most favorite movies ever, Chinatown.

He was clueless the whole time what we were going to watch. And once the Chinatown opening credits rolled he muttered "oh, wow! Fuckin' Chinatown!" His reaction was so awesome, so genuine, so uplifting. I had been buzzing all day yesterday in anticipation of this masterful plan I'd concocted. And he couldn't have been happier!

And yet I wanted to share this with her so bad and I'll never get to have her be a part of my life again. It hurts so much.
 
46w500 said:
I don't want to get out of bed this morning. She is in my mind. Suicidal thoughts are creeping in again. I won't act on them, but their existence alone scares me and helps me realize just how sad I truly am. Why am I still this wrecked three months later?! I was so emotionally invested in her.

I threw my best friend's bachelor party last night. We took him out to eat at Don Pablo's and then took him to a local small-time theater that's been around since 1941. I rented out the whole theater and we watched one of his all-time most favorite movies ever, Chinatown.

He was clueless the whole time what we were going to watch. And once the Chinatown opening credits rolled he muttered "oh, wow! Fuckin' Chinatown!" His reaction was so awesome, so genuine, so uplifting. I had been buzzing all day yesterday in anticipation of this masterful plan I'd concocted. And he couldn't have been happier!

And yet I wanted to share this with her so bad and I'll never get to have her be a part of my life again. It hurts so much.
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I feel you, my man. I'm a freshly minted bachelor myself. I miss sharing things with my ex, too. Still, dwelling on it will not make you feel better. Only worse. If you can, go work out. Or jog. Or swim. Doesn't matter. Just exercise. Exercise so hard your lungs feel like they're on fire and you can't move your limbs anymore. You'll feel better.

Hang in there, bro!
 
I'm still having a hard time dealing with jealousy. I even told a friend that I'm considering cutting them out the other day. I haven't made it official yet though. Dealing with the people that have it better than me makes me incredibly bitter and resentful and ruins my mood for days on end. I don't know what to do about this.
 
Bagels said:
Our long national nightmare is over. ;)

DC comics - what are you doing?!
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They should just put me in charge already, jezz.

The bad part about this is that the Batman comics have actually dealt really well with suicide in the past in honor of suicide week. :(
 
Mort said:
I'm still having a hard time dealing with jealousy. I even told a friend that I'm considering cutting them out the other day. I haven't made it official yet though. Dealing with the people that have it better than me makes me incredibly bitter and resentful and ruins my mood for days on end. I don't know what to do about this.
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I can identify with this. Its horrible but I can't be happy about the fact that my siblings are so happy and self fulfilling with great romantic relationships lots of friends and is generally doing great in life.
 
Bagels said:
Our long national nightmare is over. ;)

DC comics - what are you doing?!
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The current management is.... not good. I enjoy the few books of theirs I still get, but it's a classic case of wanting to look cool and hip and it backfiring spectacularly.

And they've done some great stuff in the past (all hail based Morrison):

supermanrooftop.jpg
 
Had about two hours of sleep each night for the last three nights.

I'm long overdue for a nervous breakdown. On top of this, I have some anxiety over some government issues I need to take care of that could potentially make at least one person angry with me, and all this before my birthday at the end of this month. Fucking wonderful.
 
Does anyone have a good guide for college level note-taking? For lectures and textbooks. It's not really something I have learned to do. I would prefer computer based methods.
 
Lonely1 said:
Well, that sounds like an anxiety problem then. Have you seen an specialist about it? If not, you really should. I too got stuck during my University studies due to anxiety disorders, and I couldn't continue until I got my anxiety under control. It is very important to treat anxiety disorders.
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DJ Lushious said:
I think MooMoo hit the nail on the head. Sounds like anxiety. Now's the time to seek professional help and get this taken care of.
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Samk said:
You'd be amazed at how much anxiety can impair your ability to think correctly. For the longest time I was a horrible test taker even knowing the material.

Good luck man
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My college has psychological service, I should make an appointment this Monday. Today I've watched a tutorial on Java for beginners, and I'm still confused. He explains everything, but I couldn't wrap my mind around on what he said. I hate how my mind works.
 
Femmeworth said:
Does anyone have a good guide for college level note-taking? For lectures and textbooks. It's not really something I have learned to do. I would prefer computer based methods.
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Transcribe everything you can. Draw doodles. Make it messy. Then take your notes and make them pretty that night at home on a computer. Print them out on paper (maybe scented?) and put them into a binder. You'll be leading study groups in no time

It that's what I do when I ace classes. Though whatever exposes you to the material the most will work. Don't fall prey to slideshow induced comas
 
Femmeworth said:
Does anyone have a good guide for college level note-taking? For lectures and textbooks. It's not really something I have learned to do. I would prefer computer based methods.
Click to expand...

http://www.dartmouth.edu/~acskills/success/notes.html

I suggest trying not to transcribing, but more like outlining with key phrases and themes highlighted. Also, compare notes with classmates. Not only a good way to find out what you missed, but a good way to meet people and make friends.
 
Song rec of the day: Last Hope by Paramore

It's just a spark
But it's enough to keep me going
And when it's dark out, no one's around
It keeps glowing

And the salt in my wounds isn't burning anymore than it used to
It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore
And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has
And that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive
 
Samk said:
Transcribe everything you can. Draw doodles. Make it messy. Then take your notes and make them pretty that night at home on a computer. Print them out on paper (maybe scented?) and put them into a binder. You'll be leading study groups in no time

It that's what I do when I ace classes. Though whatever exposes you to the material the most will work. Don't fall prey to slideshow induced comas
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I may or may not have OCD/OCPD. Messy/complicated methods are not going to work too well.
ClassyPenguin said:
http://www.dartmouth.edu/~acskills/success/notes.html

I suggest trying not to transcribing, but more like outlining with key phrases and themes highlighted. Also, compare notes with classmates. Not only a good way to find out what you missed, but a good way to meet people and make friends.
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I'll give that a look. My professors already provide outlines/slide shows.
 
It depends on the class too. All my economics classes could be transcribed with relative ease because you knew when the teacher was going off the book/slide show.

I do reccomend transcribing whatever you get from class into a synthesized master note collection. It'll make test time so much less stressful
 
Samk said:
It depends on the class too. All my economics classes could be transcribed with relative ease because you knew when the teacher was going off the book/slide show.

I do reccomend transcribing whatever you get from class into a synthesized master note collection. It'll make test time so much less stressful
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I have Microsoft OneNote, which is good for organizing documents.
 
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