No, they wouldn't have. There's usually the implication that dating can lead to a long term thing and that's not creepy.If I had asked those girls"Hey, let's see each other so I can decide if you're a good potential girlfriend when we just met, they'd have found it creepy and called their lawyer...
Well, I'm no longer at the university
GAF, I'm 100% sure I'm getting friendzoned on Monday
- Thread starter Kopite
- Start date
- Status
Where have you got the impression that I don't want to be friends with her? I do, it's just that I started to have feelings for her and it appears like she doesn't share them which obviously isn't her fault nor am I suggesting that. It just hurts to see her with another guy thus me wanting to tell her that we'll need some time apart and can't hang out as often.
Cerebral Assassin
Member
Why are you guys letting the troll derail the thread?
A romantic interest and being in love are two very different things, and if you're aware that your interest in someone is more romantic than it is platonic then it's not a very good idea to hang around them for month before making your intentions clear.
-Pyromaniac-
Member
If she does pull the line where she says she wants to stay out of the relationship game for a while, make sure to confirm that when she decides to get back into it, you get dibs.
Honestly, this is the best course to take.
ComputerMKII
Banned
I suppose I have.
edit:
I've talked to girls in such places and none seemed to be interested in casual sex.
I like how you make a big deal out of this when it's the first girl the OP has ever fallen for.
You must have been pretty knowledgeable about the whole subject of love when you found the first girl you liked.......... Not.
Dude, can you just stop? Stop fucking up this dude's thread with your nonsense. It comes off as trolling. If you're serious then I understand, but still...
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
No I wasn't but I'm also all too familiar with overthinking and silly excuses and PUA terms like "touch barrier". OP needs to take a step back, realize that we are all irrational sometimes, and appreciate the friendship he has rather than spoil it with fears and whining about "the friendzone".
If you enjoy her company and want to be friends with her, that is a great thing. Seeing her with another guy should not affect that. Accept that your premature crush is likely not reciprocated and enjoy the friendship you have.
John Rabbit
Banned
THE TOUCH BARRIER.
op, being rejected is not "being friendzoned" you entitled ass.
op, being rejected is not "being friendzoned" you entitled ass.
Gentlemen Demon
Member
ComputerMKII
Banned
If I'm asking those questions I'm certainly not the only one to have those problems so it might help more people than just myself. Also, saying my life and my suffering are 'nonsense' is just plain cruel.
Well I have done a lot of the "hanging out" and it worked out fine for me. I got the feeling a lot of girls responded better to vagueness than forwardness. At least for me, girls seem to constantly want to keep their options open, especially at university age and don't like the idea of going into a relationship head-on. Of course it's only natural that it develops into one.
I guess it matters what you do when you hang out. I mean it's just a few words anyway. Generally when I say "I'm hanging out with her" it means I'm bonking her.
people need to check their "friend zone privileges.
it is a privilege to be good friends with a good person.
entremet
Member
Try the dating thread. Or start your own thread.
Try to get some type of communication going first- how do you know her? Is she a friend of a friend, classmate, coworker? There has to be some common thread. Try to make some small talk and go from there. Once she is aware of you and you both can have a conversation about your day or whatever small interest you might share, then skip the "hanging out" bullshit and ask her on a date. That's the whole point of the date, to get to know her on a more personal level. I used to hang out with my FRIENDS (male and female) before I was married. If I hung out with a female friend, I had no interest in dating her. When I met the girl that became my wife it was through a mutual friend. I met her through this friend by chance, talked about a few things (music/movies), and after 3 days of this through phone calls, I asked her out on a date and got to know her on a personal level, and went from there.
I don't think you are alone in this in IRL or the internet... or GAF for that matter.
You absolute dawg.
I get what the OP means though. I sometimes get nervous when people approach my touch barrier. I wonder what it feels like when touch barriers cross?
I'd say that casual sex can bring with it more suffering than abstaining from it.
Babies, STD's, drama. Perhaps you should be happy that you aren't engaging in it, and keep sex for relationships only.
PsihoPerihelion
Member
lol, you are not in love with her, silly. You just have a huge crush on her.
Dating is like that, pal. You make mistakes and you learn from them. She is just one of the many girls that you will meet in your life. Learn from this and move on, so next time you will know a bit more on what to do or not.
I'm on some sort of similar situation. Been hanging out with this girl for a month. 5 dates and I've still haven't said that I like her (LIKE her, not LOVE her) In my case, we have great chemistry and we always insinuate a lot of things. My only problem is that after yesterday's date she has been saying on facebook how awesome is being single, so maybe I dun goofed lol.
Good luck on monday, fellow gaffer.
SHIT happens.
Dating is like that, pal. You make mistakes and you learn from them. She is just one of the many girls that you will meet in your life. Learn from this and move on, so next time you will know a bit more on what to do or not.
I'm on some sort of similar situation. Been hanging out with this girl for a month. 5 dates and I've still haven't said that I like her (LIKE her, not LOVE her) In my case, we have great chemistry and we always insinuate a lot of things. My only problem is that after yesterday's date she has been saying on facebook how awesome is being single, so maybe I dun goofed lol.
Good luck on monday, fellow gaffer.
SHIT happens.
And THAT'S how you lay down that game.
Yes, I guess it sucks that I fell for her and while I'm afraid I can't stand seeing her with someone else for now, time will hopefully heal that.
She really likes me as a friend and wants to hang out,chat and play together often. Unfortunately she doesn't seem to want any more than that. The internet told me that was called being friendzoned. And to be fair, I haven't actually been rejected yet.Just kinda placed on death row.
I dunno then. That always worked pretty well for me. They have to be attracted to you, obviously. That's kind of a major point with casual sex.
They are. They might not be interested in casual sex with you personally, but that's why you have to get a wide sample.
fuzzyreactor
Banned
be an alpha male and smack her on the ass. if she isnt repulsed then continue this crude behavior until she is yours.
Hold a handkerchief out towards the girl you're trying to get acquainted with and say "hey I'm not sure but does this smell like chloroform to you?" while you gesture for her to lean in closer to smell.
cubicle47b
Member
Good luck on Monday, OP. It doesn't sound promising but you never know until you actually ask. It's okay to create some space afterward because putting yourself out there and getting rejected is hard. It can take some time to get over it. Just don't hold a grudge if she says no (you don't sound like that type of person).
Lambda Pie
Banned
no update needed. you'll still be holding your cock solo, buddy.
Jackben
bitch I'm taking calls.
I guess I was being a bit harsh on you Kopite. I've ruined some friendships in the past from not being able to deal with rejection so I don't mean to make you feel like an idiot. My best advice is to keep doing what you're doing, you didn't actually DO anything wrong at all IMO. Just try and cope with rejection gracefully and don't over think so much about things like "the touch barrier" because those types of things are silly and irrelevant.
Not sure if you're being facetious or not, but it worked for me.
Then again, it was well over 20 years ago, and times change. Your experiences may vary.well thats just mean...
Ah well, I've mostly accepted it, although since she wants to talk I guess I'll go see what all this talk about 'The Talk' is about.
FairXchange
Member
I wouldn't have confessed my love at the surprise birthday party I planned for a girl. That's an overt type of pressure on the girl. You're better off planning the party, being awesome at said party, then ignoring her a little bit.
it's probably about how she wants thinks to cool down, maybe she thinks you are being weird or she'll just end the friendship altogether. people are fickle OP and girls are no different, it's all bullshit luck in the end anyways.
either way you will man up and move on.
Yeah, everyone is just dying for an update.
Kopite: Day 21. Still a beta bitch. Over and out.
It's fine mate, thanks for chipping in anyway. As for the 'touch barrier' it's clear that I should never use it again, though I doubt I'll hear the end of it for a while yet
OP I had a friend who I genuinely never had any romantic feelings for but it still drove me mad when a mutual friend of ours was constantly touching her every chance he got (and she never seemed to repel it). I never touched her except good bye hugs and stuff, and it felt like my territory was being impeded on by this guy who just couldn't keep his hands off her.
Anyway, she and I are still good friends, years later. The other guy thought he was reading it right when she didn't reject his "touch barrier" crossings and went in heavy one time and got knocked back as she turned him down cold then refused to talk to him for half a year.
I wonder if the third party in your story is like my invasive friend? Just because he touches her a lot doesn't mean that she likes him. Maybe she doesn't like either of you and is saving herself for an orgy with One Direction.
Anyway, she and I are still good friends, years later. The other guy thought he was reading it right when she didn't reject his "touch barrier" crossings and went in heavy one time and got knocked back as she turned him down cold then refused to talk to him for half a year.
I wonder if the third party in your story is like my invasive friend? Just because he touches her a lot doesn't mean that she likes him. Maybe she doesn't like either of you and is saving herself for an orgy with One Direction.
Lambda Pie
Banned
that's the spirit.
plenty of fish in the sea, you'll get your sausage wet, don't stress.
fuzzyreactor
Banned
three rules
1. don't become her friend
2. don't make it known you have feeling for her or that you want to hang out with her more than she wants to hang out with you
3. make it known you are sexually attracted to her, complement/flirt with her and shit.
1. don't become her friend
2. don't make it known you have feeling for her or that you want to hang out with her more than she wants to hang out with you
3. make it known you are sexually attracted to her, complement/flirt with her and shit.
sssstententen
Member
Someone should make it, twould be glorious.
FinalStageBoss
Banned
At least you took a shot OP, but you're too late. Sounds like the other dude moved in. Learn from this.
It's really not. The zoner also has a little bit of blame for sending the wrong signals and not being clear that he/she is not interested when it's obvious early on that the other person likes them. It's not completely a "beta bitch male" thing, though serial zonees certainly have a few things to learn.
I'd post in there, I certainly wouldn't make a whole thread to talk about my Friendzone Adventures
Baron Aloha
A Shining Example
OP - The truth is, this girl didn't friendzone you... you friendzoned yourself with this confession of yours. Never EVER confess your feelings for someone outside of a relationship. It never works.
In the future you should just man up, ask the girl out on a proper date, and if things are going well make a move. If you make a move and the girl rejects you then you just forget about her, suck it up, and move on but chances are she won't since if she said yes to the date then she has some interest in you as well.
Any time spent being just friends with a woman is time wasted when you consider the fact that you could have used that time to find someone who actually wants to be with you. I swear so many guys now are afraid of offending someone or being rejected it is ridiculous.
Honestly, I don't think you should even bother meeting up with her on Monday. If she asks you why you should straight up tell her "look, I could see where this was going and I wanted to spare you and me the awkward conversation".
In the future you should just man up, ask the girl out on a proper date, and if things are going well make a move. If you make a move and the girl rejects you then you just forget about her, suck it up, and move on but chances are she won't since if she said yes to the date then she has some interest in you as well.
Any time spent being just friends with a woman is time wasted when you consider the fact that you could have used that time to find someone who actually wants to be with you. I swear so many guys now are afraid of offending someone or being rejected it is ridiculous.
Honestly, I don't think you should even bother meeting up with her on Monday. If she asks you why you should straight up tell her "look, I could see where this was going and I wanted to spare you and me the awkward conversation".
Broder Salsa
Banned
All my friends are in the touch zone with me
- Status