ThisWreckage
Banned
You're only friend zoned if you're complicit with the request. If she wants emotional support tell her she can find it in abundance with her boyfriend.
GAF, I'm 100% sure I'm getting friendzoned on Monday
- Thread starter Kopite
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Devolution
Member
Beds are starting to get cold, winter is coming.
Sniper McBlaze
Member
I'm laughing way too hard at this. Sometimes I wonder if NeoGAF is some kind of Asperberger's forum.
Being rejected sucks, but it is far better than the alternative. And you never know what may happen down the line.
About 7 years ago, I fell for a girl in my class, but I was too shy to just act on it right away, so I let it fester for a bit while I built a friendship with her (I was kinda hoping learning more about her would eventually reveal something offputting down the line (which it didn't)). Eventually, I owned up to my feelings and told her, but she rejected me. After that, I distanced myself from her for a while to process my emotions properly. Today, she is one of my closest friends, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
Point being that as long as you manage to get some sort of closure, you're fine. I also wanted to add that there's nothing wrong with not asking somebody out right away, especially if you have to deal with them on a semi-daily basis. Actually caring about someone because of who and what they are always trumps initial physical attraction.
About 7 years ago, I fell for a girl in my class, but I was too shy to just act on it right away, so I let it fester for a bit while I built a friendship with her (I was kinda hoping learning more about her would eventually reveal something offputting down the line (which it didn't)). Eventually, I owned up to my feelings and told her, but she rejected me. After that, I distanced myself from her for a while to process my emotions properly. Today, she is one of my closest friends, and I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
Point being that as long as you manage to get some sort of closure, you're fine. I also wanted to add that there's nothing wrong with not asking somebody out right away, especially if you have to deal with them on a semi-daily basis. Actually caring about someone because of who and what they are always trumps initial physical attraction.
crimzonflame
Member
Why do you have to wait until Monday again?
Arthr2ShdsJcksn
Banned
I too am interested in this touch barrier. When does it become broken? How many times can I break it before it's too much?
cubicle47b
Member
Nice post.
Triggerhappytel
Member
Go easy on him, you bunch of miserable bastards! In these situations I say fucking go for it. My only two regrets in life are not getting with a good friend of mine before she went to university, and we subsequently lost contact, and another girl I met literally a week after splitting up with my first long term girlfriend, she was lovely and bloody hot, but I stood her up and acted like an indifferent dickhead because I wasn't looking for any kind of relationship at the time.
Wear your heart on your sleeve, fall in and out of love and learn from your experiences and failures. Better to try and fail than never make a move.
Wear your heart on your sleeve, fall in and out of love and learn from your experiences and failures. Better to try and fail than never make a move.
I'm an expert
Formerly worldrevolution. The only reason I am nice to anyone else is to avoid being banned.
He did all that though. He's got more balls than most of gaf. The issue is he's known the lady for 4 weeks and is already talking about measuring touches with some other dude and love and needing distance..plus planning surprise bday parties where he gushes all his feelings. All he had to do was take a step back, ask her to hang out alone, gauge how that went, and then he'd know where he stands. Now he's just made an awkward situation out of all of it. Though I'm thinking she'll tell him she's a lesbian or something for our shamlymananana twist.
It's the only way. A guy crushing on a girl won't hear advice good or bad, so you try to get his attention by being a dire asshole and shaming...i try to couch some real advice in there though.
Then when he comes out the other side a more experienced individual, he understands why people were like that and he gets to do the same.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
So... just be her friend and find another girl?
As long as you didn't tell her you love her then I say go for it and meet up with her Monday. It's a lot more mature to meet her and listen to whatever she has to say than stand her up or anything silly like that.
She's a friend and you should be supportive even if she doesn't return your feelings.
She's a friend and you should be supportive even if she doesn't return your feelings.
SuperAndroid17
Member
But he loves her so fucking much. Have you not been reading his updates!?!?
Cringe worthy
NeOak
Member
OP, I was in a similar situation. Just move on and get busy.
The moment you stop chasing her, she will chase you. Don't meet her on Monday, the why is pure BS anyway and won't help you in getting closure.
Just ignore her and don't say anything about the monday thing. Act like nothing is up and do other stuff. If you have to talk with her, take a while to answer and don't talk for more than 15 minutes.
The moment you stop chasing her, she will chase you. Don't meet her on Monday, the why is pure BS anyway and won't help you in getting closure.
Just ignore her and don't say anything about the monday thing. Act like nothing is up and do other stuff. If you have to talk with her, take a while to answer and don't talk for more than 15 minutes.
If you get friend zoned, be cool about it, give her space, ignore her and be a little harsh to her. Most girls are attention seekers and love the idea that they're desirable to certain people. If you take all that away, she'll eventually crack and be more open to the idea of letting you insert your penis into her.
Jason's Ultimatum
Member
Lucky for me I live in Florida, and I sleep naked on top of the covers!
I think we might have the popular media to blame for people making bizarre and freaky feeling confessions. All these popular movies have people confessing their twu luv in a mopey and angsty fashion and then the girl swoons and they kiss and marry during the ending credits. The films emphasize "be yourself, tell her how you really feel" when telling a person how you really feel just makes you look like a self-obsessed asshole. Compare that to the number of times you've seen someone ask another person out on a date in something that wasn't a chick flick or a rom com.
Liu Kang Baking A Pie
Member
It's the only coming happening with these guys.
MemoryHumanity
Member
This has literally never happened to anyone before.
also 'friendzoned', 'touch barrier' lmao
also 'friendzoned', 'touch barrier' lmao
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Get your best suit and do this:
johnny_park
Member
Don't tell her you're going to stop hanging out with her. Just do it.
Kano on the Phone
Member
You sound really angry, dude.
yeah. just be nice to the people that will blow my dick in return!
Darkmakaimura
Can You Imagine What SureAI Is Going To Do With Garfield?
One month is not long. People fall in love quickly and easily. Part of human nature.
Dubbedinenglish
Banned
"Captain, we are unable to get any closer."
"Why is that Spock"
"....Their touch barrier is up."
"Why is that Spock"
"....Their touch barrier is up."
youngwerther
Banned
You are definitely getting rejected, but I can see why you like her so much, she sounds very nice.
Although she apparently doesn't want to be with you, the fact that she is willing to take time and talk with you about it shows that she is considerate of your feelings.
It's a tough situation here, because
A) She seems like a genuinely good person and therefore is a good friend that you want to keep.
but
B) You have feelings for her and it is incredibly difficult if not impossible to be "just friends" with someone that you are head-over-heels for.
There is no right or wrong answer here I think.
I suppose you'll just have to wait and find out more on Monday.
Although she apparently doesn't want to be with you, the fact that she is willing to take time and talk with you about it shows that she is considerate of your feelings.
It's a tough situation here, because
A) She seems like a genuinely good person and therefore is a good friend that you want to keep.
but
B) You have feelings for her and it is incredibly difficult if not impossible to be "just friends" with someone that you are head-over-heels for.
There is no right or wrong answer here I think.
I suppose you'll just have to wait and find out more on Monday.
maplelord93
Banned
lol, one month
Yep, no chance.. At least not at this point (who knows what'll be in 20 years lol). The feeling is obviously not mutual and now that it got a little awkward, the chances decreased to zero. The quicker you get over it, the better for you. You'll understand, OP. Just don't do the mistake of taking it personally. Sometimes the chemistry just doesn't fit, no matter how nice and hot the girl/boy is.
When there's this typical awkward situation of confessing your feelings to someone, it's not right. That's probably the most important thing I came to understand about relationships. You can't force it. And if you try, no one's going to be happy.
When there's this typical awkward situation of confessing your feelings to someone, it's not right. That's probably the most important thing I came to understand about relationships. You can't force it. And if you try, no one's going to be happy.
90s RomComs have ruined a whole generation of men. It's not the first time I'm reading this and honestly, there's probably something to it. It took me a while to realize that it doesn't work like that, ever.
yes, it's true- tell her how you feel and be yourself- upfront, not a month later, when you're auddenly switching identities and telling her you're either going to be lovers or her friendship actually meant nothing.
You've already broken through the touch barrier so it won't be interesting(unless it's an online relationship then please make a thread).
No, because you don't have a GF. Stop lying to us.
Cow Mengde
Banned
I disagree. That attitude permits people to walk all over you. I say don't go because of the details he revealed. In his particular situation I say cancel Monday night. Forget the friends option, because OP confessed his love to her. They aren't friends anymore. And his emotions won't allow him to see things that way.
Nathan Muir
Member
You're still in the throws of the chemical imperative that is infatuation. Give it some time, learn from your mistakes, and move on.
Some people fall hard and fast, and whilst my own personal opinion is that it takes years to truly love somebody, it sure as hell can feel like you're in love even after a week.
Cut the guy some slack.
My advice to you OP is if she is indeed pursuing this other guy, you've got the right idea. Kindly explain why it's best you make some distance, she and her new fella will probably appreciate that. And just accept it, no hope and wishful thinking, just accept it. Uni is full of people too! In a few weeks or couple of months you may meet somebody else you like!
Good luck.
I agree a lot with this. Basically, I've been in a situation where I held my feelings for a long time, and I even felt like she felt something for me, but I did what you and other people did- a random confession of my feelings for her. It turned out horribly. Girls usually don't go for that. It's better to nip it in the bud and go for the date earlier on to spare yourself the trouble. Basically, showing interest in her is important, but if you tell her your feelings straight up, it's never going to work and you are going to seal your chance.
The thing is, you haven't known her for very long, so you are still kind of in that beginning stage. You have one bad move going against you, which was the reveal of your feelings- however, that doesn't mean that you are out of luck. I agree with the quote however that you should tell her that you don't want to meet because you already know what she is going to say. Don't try to be rude, but if you can shrug it off and enjoy her presence without attachment, that may mean something to her.
This is something that's hard to be 'taught,' you just gotta be lucky at the right time and make the right moves. Not something I am good at personally, but I've also had a situation where I was into a girl, and I happened to get close to her through a college class assignment and it just so happened that she was as in to me as I was in to her. We had a good little fling. It didn't last, but it was fun.
Good luck, OP.
SlipperySlope
Banned
To the OP:
Live and learn. I know it's hard. You had your heart set on this one girl. I know what that's like. But she doesn't feel the same, and her opinion won't change no matter what you do.
The best advice is to not talk to her anymore. Forget about her. Move on. But most important is to know why things broke down the way they did. You shouldn't have waited a month. You basically friend-zoned her by doing that. You need to be upfront and honest. It should have taken no more than a day or two for you to ask her out.
And ask the next girl out. Don't beat around the bush. Lay it out there. Tell her what you want. The sooner you ask the better. No friendly invites. No "Hey my friend is throwing a party wanna join?". None of that. Keep date one just the two of you.
Live and learn. I know it's hard. You had your heart set on this one girl. I know what that's like. But she doesn't feel the same, and her opinion won't change no matter what you do.
The best advice is to not talk to her anymore. Forget about her. Move on. But most important is to know why things broke down the way they did. You shouldn't have waited a month. You basically friend-zoned her by doing that. You need to be upfront and honest. It should have taken no more than a day or two for you to ask her out.
And ask the next girl out. Don't beat around the bush. Lay it out there. Tell her what you want. The sooner you ask the better. No friendly invites. No "Hey my friend is throwing a party wanna join?". None of that. Keep date one just the two of you.
SlipperySlope
Banned
This. This isn't a movie. In real life it never works. Trust me, I tried...
. Never ever ever ever.Digital Joker
Banned
I'm so busy trying to wrap my head around the fact that a dude planned a surprize party that I can't even think about trying to address his other issues.
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