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[samus i am]

I've never gave oral to a girl (or, truth be told, done anything past kissing one), nor received a blow-job, so I don't have that to compare. Who knows, when it actually happens I might realize I like it more than giving them.

Once I'm pretty sure I almost got a blow-job (on St. Patrick's day, a month after this occurred), me and this girl had been drinking and hanging out in my room doing pot, and she said "oh, Watch Da Birdie I haven't had cock in so long!", but I reassured her she'd find someone soon. And she did that night, and the two are still dating to this day.

One of the biggest regrets of my life.

Ummmm, how old are you?

 

[Cow Mengde]

What kind of feeling? Sexual feeling? To me it sounded more like he was saying it is a power trip. Winning the lottery may be the greatest feeling in the world to me, but that doesn't mean I'm sexually attracted to money or gambling.

The OP has to clarify that. Though I will say I don't play the lottery for sexual satisfaction either.

 

[potam]

Well let's see...

If you identify as something like oh...I don't know...a nerd, yeah? And then you do something like play a game of football and discover that WOW it's fun, and then someone says "you're totally a jock, NOT a nerd" how would you feel? How would you feel if lots of people started saying it?



That word...I'm at the office and not supposed to laugh like this...

Or, what if there's a term for someone like that. Maybe nerd-jock. And that's what people are saying he is. I don't think anyone in here is saying he's completely gay.

 

[marrec]

If it's your fetish it does. There are definitely ways you can suck a dick and not be gay. But when you're doing a gay act because it arouses you, that's the point when it turns into you being gay. Because being gay means being aroused by people of the same sex and that's what the fetish revolves around.

But if the act isn't tied to the gender identity then I don't think we can definitively say "yo, that's gay".

Maybe he'd like sucking any dick on anything.

 

[Omegasquash]

If it's your fetish it does. There are definitely ways you can suck a dick and not be gay. But when you're doing a gay act because it arouses you, that's the point when it turns into you being gay. Because being gay means being aroused by people of the same sex and that's what the fetish revolves around.

Sorry to butt in, but being gay is being attracted to folks of the same gender IIRC. In this case, it's ONE specific thing that the OP seems to like. A dude blowing a dude is definitely a homosexual act, but the act does not necessarily define the person.

Because I have a degree in English does not make me an English teacher or lawyer or writer. Because I like doing things doesn't mean it's who or what I am. It's simply a part of that.

 

[Watch Da Birdie]

Ummmm, how old are you?

23.

I was sort of shy and repressed, so I didn't really date. Didn't move onto campus till my Senior year of college, now I'm pretty much working all the time to pay off loans and car payments so I don't have really any time or a good avenue for dating.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

Sorry to butt in, but being gay is being attracted to folks of the same gender IIRC. In this case, it's ONE specific thing that the OP seems to like. A dude blowing a dude is definitely a homosexual act, but the act does not necessarily define the person.

Because I have a degree in English does not make me an English teacher or lawyer or writer. Because I like doing things doesn't mean it's who or what I am. It's simply a part of that.

We aren't talking about OP. Or at least I wasnt. I was saying if your fetish is giving blowjobs then your are at least bisexual.

But if the act isn't tied to the gender identity then I don't think we can definitively say "yo, that's gay".

Maybe he'd like sucking any dick on anything.

Any dick he would suck would be a males dick.

Are you talking about someone who just has a fetish of sucking on phallic objects? Because I'd agree that that's not gay. But if you're going into a situation saying "I want to suck a dick so I can get off." even if you don't care that it's a man, you're still aroused by something the man has.

 

[Omegasquash]

Or, what if there's a term for someone like that. Maybe nerd-jock. And that's what people are saying he is. I don't think anyone in here is saying he's completely gay.

And why are folks so compelled to say what he is? Why categorize him based on his likes, dislikes, preference or inclination?

 

[CaptainGyro]

Well let's see...

If you identify as something like oh...I don't know...a nerd, yeah? And then you do something like play a game of football and discover that WOW it's fun, and then someone says "you're totally a jock, NOT a nerd" how would you feel? How would you feel if lots of people started saying it?

Jock can have a negative connotation that implies stupidity or being a douchebag, go look at some definitions at urban dictionary to see some examples. Bisexual does not.
On the other hand being called a jock can also mean a person is just harmlessly calling you an athlete, and I doubt anybody would actually get angry about that

 

[marrec]

We aren't talking about OP. Or at least I wasnt. I was saying if your fetish is giving blowjobs then your are at least bisexual.

What if you aren't attracted to men though?

 

[Lucian Cat]

You're right op, giving bjs is the best feeling

 

[Arde5643]

We aren't talking about OP. Or at least I wasnt. I was saying if your fetish is giving blowjobs then your are at least bisexual.

It seems you already have a strict definition on sexuality but check this out if you haven't:
Ogi Ogas' study on sexuality

 

[Omegasquash]

Jock can have a negative connotation that implies stupidity or being a douchebag, bisexual does not.
On the other hand being called a jock can also mean a person is just harmlessly calling you an athlete, and I doubt anybody would actually get angry about that

Again, categorization. Why do we feel the need to do that? Why should it matter what your sexual preference is? The OP discovered that he liked/likes going down on a guy. OK. Why are there lots of folks in a rush to categorize him.

I should clarify and add that not everyone is. That folks are trying to put him in a row or column when it's not the actual topic at hand is what's got my balls in a twist.

 

[Meccanical]

I'm not sure what this thread is about.

 

[Nerokis]

Sure, where would you like to draw the line? Telling women who identify as men that they're wrong? Straight men who once had a gay sexual experience that they're wrong? Lesbians who had sex with men that they aren't really lesbians?

You don't get to define someone's sexuality. If you support that, then you must, by your own logic, call anyone who ever had any sexual contact with someone of the opposite sex, bisexual at least. Even if they did it once and never tried it again. The act of having sexual contact with someone of the same gender does not make you homosexual or bisexual.

Those labels exist largely to identify our preferences, not what we're capable of. Any of us could have sex with someone of the same gender. If you did, do you think it would change your sexual orientation?

Because lots of people who identify as either straight or gay have, in fact, engaged in heterosexual sex acts. Are they straight? Bisexual? Gay? And lots of people who identify as straight have, in fact, engaged in homosexual sex acts.

The fundamental problem is that we're trying to categorize an incredibly complex phenomena using three words. It lacks precision, and it interferes with people's own understanding of their sexual desires.

Seriously, thank you. It always annoys me when I see people being forced into this or that narrow box, and this post couldn't have been a more perfect respite from the barrage of that going on in this thread. You practically read my mind.

In truth, the boxes we put ourselves in are almost always far more rigid and simple than the actual full spectrum of who we are. Everyone these days seems to concede that sexuality tends to be the result of a both nature and nurture, but not enough people recognize that sexual identity tends to reflect both involuntary inclinations and lifestyle choices and that both influence each other. The mere capacity to get enjoyment from homo or hetero sexual/romantic interactions does not make you gay/straight/bi. I'd say it's far more complicated than that.

Anyway, the OP reminded of this incredibly hot post on Reddit. It's a story very similar to his, and as a straight man who lives his day to day life highly attracted to women and having virtually no attraction to men, it left me with very warm feelings. I challenge anyone to read it and not be the slightest bit aroused.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I'm not sure what this thread is about.

Well, I think somebody's gay, bi, or straight, I'm not sure yet who or why or how, but somebody's dick got sucked and somebody did the sucking.

That part was straightforward.

 

[MrToughPants]

What if you aren't attracted to men though?

Wouldn't you be best served performing BJs on pre-op MtF transsexuals who look feminine if that were the case? At least then it's like you're blowing a woman who happens to have a dick.

 

[xxracerxx]

Well, I think somebody's gay, bi, or straight, I'm not sure yet who or why or how, but somebody's dick got sucked and somebody did the sucking.

That part was straightforward.

Sadly the one who got his dick sucked got blue balls.

 

[terrisus]

Well, I think somebody's gay, bi, or straight

Nah, you missed the part about sexuality not being compartmentalized, but fluid.

 

[CaptainGyro]

Again, categorization. Why do we feel the need to do that? Why should it matter what your sexual preference is? The OP discovered that he liked/likes going down on a guy. OK. Why are there lots of folks in a rush to categorize him.

I should clarify and add that not everyone is. That folks are trying to put him in a row or column when it's not the actual topic at hand is what's got my balls in a twist.

Well as others have asked why does it matter that people do? Why does it put your balls in a twist, when it doesn't have the same possibly negative connotation as something insulting like calling someone a jock?

 

[zeioIIDX]

I've yet to nut from a BJ. It is what it is.

Don't worry, I'm the same way. Although I finally did accomplish it over a year ago with my ex wife. She ended up having to go at it for quite literally an hour before I was able to have an orgasm. The reason I have trouble with it is because I've always felt blowjobs are a waste of time, I just wanna get to the good stuff. But I LOVE going down on a woman and I'll go at it until she can't handle it anymore lol.

I just have trouble receiving because it feels like all the attention and pressure is on me and it bugs me when women keep looking up to see my facial expressions and stuff. It feels like I'm in front of class giving a speech! There have been two separate instances though where a woman knew what she was doing and had I not stopped her, I would have had an orgasm from a blowjob.

 

[Zen_Arcade]

What if you aren't attracted to men though?

You don't have fetishes towards things you're not attracted to.

 

[moggio]

Wouldn't you be best served performing BJs on pre-op MtF transsexuals who look feminine if that were the case? At least then it's like you're blowing a woman who happens to have a dick.

What does it matter when it's all about the cock?

 

[Meccanical]

Well, I think somebody's gay, bi, or straight, I'm not sure yet who or why or how, but somebody's dick got sucked and somebody did the sucking.

That part was straightforward.

Okay so this is actually about sucking dicks and not some strange slang I don't understand.

 

[MrToughPants]

Nah, you missed the part about sexuality not being compartmentalized, but fluid.

Unfortunately for Mr Blue Balls, OP didn't see that fluid because he bailed at the last moment.

 

[Omegasquash]

Well as others have asked why does it matter that people do? Why does it put your balls in a twist, when it doesn't have the same possibly negative connotation as something insulting like calling someone a jock?

Why does it matter that people are quick to categorize others? Because it takes away from individuality. Because it's such a narrow set of categories already. Because it's one person doing something to another person who didn't ask them to do it.

 

[richardhawk]

doing pot

People actually say this?

 

[Arde5643]

Seriously, thank you. It always annoys me when I see people being forced into this or that narrow box, and this post couldn't have been a more perfect respite from the barrage of that going on in this thread. You practically read my mind.

In truth, the boxes we put ourselves in are almost always far more rigid and simple than the actual full spectrum of who we are. Everyone these days seems to concede that sexuality tends to be the result of a both nature and nurture, but not enough people recognize that sexual identity tends to reflect both involuntary inclinations and lifestyle choices and that both influence each other. The mere capacity to get enjoyment from homo or hetero sexual/romantic interactions does not make you gay/straight/bi. I'd say it's far more complicated than that.

Anyway, the OP reminded of this incredibly hot post on Reddit. It's a story very similar to his, and as a straight man who lives his day to day life highly attracted to women and having virtually no attraction to men, it left me with very warm feelings. I challenge anyone to read it and not be the slightest bit aroused.

The guy in the reddit post definitely has some bi-curious properties.

I actually got quite turned off once this post starts:

I think it's worth mentioning that this guy is quite good looking, and is well aware of it. He's in very good shape, and his being well endowed is kind of a going joke within our group...

 

[Davey Cakes]

I like it but I don't love it....when receiving.

I would only give a BJ if someone handed me a billion dollars for it.

 

[Hermii]

I doubt it even would vaguely resemble the greatest feeling in the world for me.

 

[SuperSah]

This is something I'd certainly like to try...

 

[Rookje]

We need some of those 4chan /fit/ homoerotic straight stories in here. Those are gold.

 

[Peterthumpa]

Jesus no. Though I respect your new acquired tastes. A small tip, believe in GAF. You're not straight. That doesn't even makes sense after your description of a scenario where a penis was inside your mouth for a couple of minutes.

 

[marrec]

Are you talking about someone who just has a fetish of sucking on phallic objects? Because I'd agree that that's not gay. But if you're going into a situation saying "I want to suck a dick so I can get off." even if you don't care that it's a man, you're still aroused by something the man has.

Well it depends, but I think for purposes of this discussion we should limit it to actual dicks and not fake dicks.

Wouldn't you be best served performing BJs on pre-op MtF transsexuals who look feminine if that were the case? At least then it's like you're blowing a woman who happens to have a dick.

I suppose that would be something that this person would be attracted to, but in the hypothetical they would also gain sexual satisfaction from sucking a dude's dick.

You don't have fetishes towards things you're not attracted to.

Yes, but if the 'thing' you attracted to is the power of giving a blowjob and not the dude it's attached to, then I wouldn't identify you as gay.

 

[BFIB]

My wife does this, so guys, recommend this to your better half.

If you squeeze your thumb on your left hand into your palm, your gag reflex goes away.

Let the deep throat commence!

 

[IISANDERII]

Where's the summary man?

 

[CaptainGyro]

Why does it matter that people are quick to categorize others? Because it takes away from individuality. Because it's such a narrow set of categories already. Because it's one person doing something to another person who didn't ask them to do it.

Categorizing somebody as bisexual on the internet isn't going to take away that person's individuality anymore than calling them straight. What's going to happen now that his individuality has been supposedly taken away and he's been labelled bisexual? Is he going to be just seen as some person with no distinguishing individual characteristics?
If anything I see some people in here arguing that he's not a bi and narrowing down what a bisexual is like. I mean people are saying he's not a bi because he doesn't like men and women equally, or he doesn't have sexual stimulation while sucking guys dicks. Those are the people that are limiting the types of person a bisexual can be. Maybe that is part of your point, but I don't think that means people shouldn't be categorized. It just means some people should learn more about the categories

 

[Elija2]

I don't understand the appeal of giving someone a blowjob. I'm sure it feels great for the dude receiving one, but what's in it for the person giving it? I'm guessing it's an empowering thing like the OP said, but sex is empowering and pleasurable for both people so wouldn't it be better to just have sex?

 

[Lucian Cat]

My wife does this, so guys, recommend this to your better half.

If you squeeze your thumb on your left hand into your palm, your gag reflex goes away.

Let the deep throat commence!

I'll try this out tonight. If I gag I'm coming for you

 

[dragonlife]

I don't understand the appeal of giving someone a blowjob. I'm sure it feels great for the dude receiving one, but what's in it for the person giving it? I'm guessing it's an empowering thing like the OP said, but sex is empowering and pleasurable for both people so wouldn't it be better to just have sex?

Gratification; feeling like you're doing an awesome job of pleasing your partner. Making others feel good feels good, too.

 

[blame space]

so much kinkshaming

 

[Arde5643]

I don't understand the appeal of giving someone a blowjob. I'm sure it feels great for the dude receiving one, but what's in it for the person giving it? I'm guessing it's an empowering thing like the OP said, but sex is empowering and pleasurable for both people so wouldn't it be better to just have sex?

Have you given cunnilingus to someone? It's pretty awesome when everything's just right.

 

[FUBAR McDangles]

I've never given a blowjob to anyone and pretty much plan on never doing so, but going down on my girlfriend is awesome.

I'm pretty good at it so she can get super into it, and that turns me on, so yeah that would be one of my favorite things I would say.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Where's the summary man?

Not yet at critical mass

 

[neorej]

Have you given cunnilingus to someone? It's pretty awesome when everything's just right.

The empowerment of cunnilingus when you've got the technique down is great. You can bring her to the point of cumming and stop right there. Do it a couple of times and she'll be squirming an begging.

 

[Devolution]

Where's the summary man?

 

[casnix]

Never gave one but receiving one is godly.

 

[Nerokis]

Jesus no. Though I respect your new acquired tastes. A small tip, believe in GAF. You're not straight. That doesn't even makes sense after your description of a scenario where a penis was inside your mouth for a couple of minutes.

Putting aside how terrible this advice is, I'm pretty impressed by how consistent you are in narrowly defining things. GAF hasn't exactly been speaking with one voice on this issue.

 

[Binabik15]

I can't compare it, but I bet a nice, warm, wet vulva is much more awesome to kiss and tongue with than a dick poking your mouth or face. A girl gasping every time you tickle her clitoris can't be beat, sorry.

 

[Peterthumpa]

Putting aside how terrible this advice is, I'm pretty impressed by how consistent you are in narrowly defining things. GAF hasn't exactly been speaking with one voice on this issue.

Perhaps you're right, just read the first page before posting this so that was my impression. In any case, if OP felt good about it, that's ok to me.

EDIT - and regarding believing the opinions here or not, I guess that that's not as bias as it seems to be. I've got a feeling that a good chunk of GAF users are pretty open minded and comprehensive about such things, so I don't get this whole "but that's an Internet forum!" thing. Those are real people anyway.