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[haxan7]

Are you serious? So that he can enjoy it afterward................... you can't be that dense

I'm even denser

But he should have just mixed the loads in with his food for extra flavor.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

I'm even denser

But he should have just mixed the loads in with his food for extra flavor.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

Are you serious? So that he can enjoy it afterward................... you can't be that dense

So long as you don’t mind having your own dick in your mouth

 

[JimiNutz]

This talk of peanut butter fucking has got me horny. Time to butter me up a roll and unleash Jimmy.

 

[Scopa]

How many pubes did he end up picking from his teeth. Weird fucker.

 

[Orpheum]

Have you seen the price of brand name Hot Pockets? I didn't think so.

I just want to know if he sticks his dick inside them after waiting for them to cool off, or if he is actually melting his penis in hot lava

 

[bitbydeath]

Are you serious? So that he can enjoy it afterward................... you can't be that dense

Or maybe he works at a convience store and has to put them back on the shelf after he’s done?

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

Or maybe he works at a convience store and has to put them back on the shelf after he’s done?

Haven't thought of this tbh... what a kind lad,

 

[Redneckerz]

Alright Redneckerz did you pee on your gf in the shower??? You better tell us

Nope, not me. Im featured though.

Sadly most confessions are about cum stains. Will do well with aliens if they ever find us.

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

 

[haxan7]

Sadly most confessions are about cum stains. Will do well with aliens if they ever find us.

I guess NeoGAF just loves cum.

 

[strange headache]

Y'all frikkin' degenerates!

 

[haxan7]

Y'all frikkin' degenerates!

oh my god

 

[Orpheum]

Y'all frikkin' degenerates!

Nice stuff haha

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

GAFfession #1​

Musky’s kid is actually mine.

GAFfession #2​

I have been wearing the same pants to work, every day, all year, without having dry cleaned them once.

GAFfession #3​

I probably only put in around an hour and a half hours of actual work with my full-time job each day.

GAFfession #4​

I have a natural ability to know what someone is thinking, what they are feeling and about to say. I don’t know what it is, I can’t explain it. It just is. It is paranormal and totally REAL. I can never be tricked, lied to or surprised. It sometimes makes it appear like I can predict the future, but it isn’t really that. I can’t see ahead, so to speak, I just KNOW what you are thinking and are about to do. It often frustrates other people, especially people with nefarious purposes. It goes deeper than that though. I’ve had predictive dreams about things that didn’t happen until later, in great detail. I also sometimes get a feeling of dread as a warning sign that something is about to happen and then it does. One time, I tried to ignore it because it was midnight, my head had just hit the pillow and I wanted to sleep. But, the feeling wouldn’t leave me. I ignored it some more and just as I was about to fall asleep, I swear to Miyamoto that a flickering ball of light came through my closed window and flittered around my bed. Like a fairy. I finally gave in, got out of bed to check around and sure enough, their was an emergency. It’s like I have a fairy godmother. I’m not religious, but I am certain there is something beyond that we don’t understand and I’ve somehow tapped into it. I do have some gypsy DNA, so who knows?

GAFfession #5​

I once stole money from my work

GAFfession #6​

i once bought a megaphone with the sole purpose of farting in it.

GAFfession #7​

During one of the hurricanes in recent years, I left an unfortunate surprise at a house whose family had gone on vacation. I was living with my sister at the time, and we evacuated to her friend’s parents’ house. There were several other evacuees there as well, around 18-22 of us in total. As a result, some of us stayed at a neighbor’s house, right next door. If I remember right, the neighbors had gone on vacation prior to the reports of the hurricane and decided to stay gone until it passed. They told the friend’s parents that they could use the house for anyone evacuating. I stayed in the parents’ house the first night, but was awoken earlier than I’d liked due to their getting up early, so I slept on my sister’s air mattress at the neighbors’ house the rest of the time after that. Long story short, the only bathroom I had access to was the master after everyone turned in for the night. Weirdly, I don’t remember there being any other bathrooms on the first floor. The night before it was time to pack up and go home, after getting ready for bed (in the master bathroom), I did my usual ritual of peeing before bed. One problem - the toilet wouldn’t flush. I’d had a bit of experience fixing this kind of thing so I thought, okay, no big deal. I opened the top part and looked around but couldn’t find any obvious problem. I looked up youtube videos on my phone hoping diagnose the problem. After spending a good half hour at ~1:30 am trying to figure it out, I gave up and went to bed. We left the next morning and I never mentioned it to my sister or anyone else. Given that they weren’t coming back for at least a few days (iirc), I can only imagine how bad the stench was when they got back. Ever smelled your own piss after just an hour of letting it stew? That times ~36+ hours.. I felt bad but there wasn’t really anything left to do at that point. I wanted to leave a note but didn’t find any paper/pen out anywhere.

GAFfession #8​

I adore hentai

GAFfession #9​

I still visit ResetEra from time to time but when I do I use incognito mode because I feel dirty for visiting a place that's filled with such horrible people.

GAFfession #10​

So this actually happened last night. I met up with a new girl from a dating app (this was our second time meeting up), went to her place for the first time, then long story short we began the fucking process. Naturally I began by eating her out and fingering her at the same time. When she started getting close to cumming, she stopped me and pulled me up, telling me to fuck her. Well, it was late and I was tired and had been drinking earlier, so my erection (which was already weak) went completely down and I couldn't get it back no matter what we did. It was pretty humiliating. ------------ In a separate incident 2 years back, I got a condom stuck inside a girl when my dick went soft inside her. We tried different things to get it out, including me fishing up in her with a toothbrush, and couldn't get it out. The next day she told me she got it out by herself later that night.

GAFfession #11​

I used to masterbait to my step mother a lot when I was a teenager.

GAFfession #12​

I'm not particularly successful with women. It's not that I have much trouble attracting them, the problem is that the nicer they are to me the more awfully I treat them. I'm also not overly social so I tend to meet all of my women through work. I've worked at the same company for over 10 years now and I've been in a 'steady' relationship with one of these women at work for the majority of that time (we have been a couple for 8 years and have lived together for 6 years). Yet I have slept with 8 different women in the same company from various offices around the country (some who have since left and some who still work there and know my girlfriend). My girlfriend has had many suspicions and obviously there have been many rumours flying around about me having affairs over the years but I have never confessed and none of the women have either (as far as I'm aware anyway). One girl I was sleeping with for over three years and she worked in the same office! We would have sex in the office itself and in the back of my car (sometimes before then going to pick up my girlfriend). Another girl was sleeping with me right the way through her engagement and through the majority of the first year of her marriage. I suspect her husband eventually found out though as she left the company suddenly and cut all contact with me. I've also slept with 2 of my bosses who have personally known my girlfriend and one of these bosses was sleeping with me for nearly a year before having to move office (I saw her and slept with her recently on a visit there). Another girl eventually had to get signed off work with stress and depression due to the affair and eventually quit her job. I literally don't sleep with any women that I don't work with. I just can't help shitting where I sleep which is pathetic I know as I can't get women outside of work. My girlfriend has never been anything other than amazing to me and loves me with all her heart. The nicer she is to me the worse I treat her (same for all women to be honest). I know I'm a horrible person but all this lying and cheating has made me kind of numb to it. I know it's all going to blow up in my face eventually and maybe a small part of me looks forward to that. I'll certainly deserve it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I would like to thank all who made this the most fun NeoGAF event to host, ever! All of your contributions served to make this one of the greatest moments in GAF history, and you only have yourselves to thank. Amidst the holiday cheer, I would like to personally give you all my wishes; Merry Gafmas, y'all, and a Happy New Year!​

 

[haxan7]

Welp. Last confession wins. I just hope the interwebz and your real life don't get crossed up and your GF doesn't end up reading that.

I hereby absolve you of your sins.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

Damn! Come get your kid

 

[brap]

#12 seems like a cool guy

 

[haxan7]

Musky’s kid is actually mine.

Me if I was in Musky's position right now:

 

[JimiNutz]

This has been a great thread and reminds me of the old days on GAF. Thanks 嫩翼 and all that participated and submitted confessions. Merry Christmas GAF!

 

[Wunray]

You all are depraved and need salvation.................good shit though.

 

[Orpheum]

I'm now complete.

Merry christmas and a happy new year everyone

 

[Wings 嫩翼翻せ]

This has been a great thread and reminds me of the old days on GAF. Thanks 嫩翼 and all that participated and submitted confessions. Merry Christmas GAF!

Not a (vis_name)! Thanks!

 

[J-Roderton]

Way to go Wings. I say this years was a success. Now go get help people.

 

[haxan7]

I have been wearing the same pants to work, every day, all year, without having dry cleaned them once.

I can only imagine the amount of piss that must have splashed on them.

 

[DunDunDunpachi]

This thread was amazing Wings 嫩翼翻せ

Ya done us all ashamed proud.

 

[Scopa]

Legendary thread and I’m happy that I contributed and am partially responsible for that. Eagerly await next year’s already. I might up the ante, lol.

Spoiler

I’m not cum closet guy.

 

[Papa]

Legendary thread and I’m happy that I contributed and am partially responsible for that. Eagerly await next year’s already. I might up the ante, lol.

Spoiler

I’m not cum closet guy.

But are you peanut butter guy?

 

[Vicetrailia]

Good confession #12.

 

[G-Bus]

Shit. Been meaning to submit one and looks like I procrastinated too much. Maybe next year.

 

[Papa]

Shit. Been meaning to submit one and looks like I procrastinated too much. Maybe next year.

That’s ok just post it here.

 

[haxan7]

Shit. Been meaning to submit one and looks like I procrastinated too much. Maybe next year.

Yep. Just post it and I'll absolve you of your sins.

 

[WinterIsComing]

Great job everyone, this was a helluvaride!

 

[Ailynn]

Wow! I have to admit, this went way beyond what I ever expected to read...

Well done everyone - Now, please think deeply about some of those New Years resolutions...and the chance to start life anew!


Thanks for the entertaining thread, @ Wings 嫩翼翻せ !

 

[ThatStupidLion]

due to the holidays i missed the second half of this thread.. just reading it now.

not ashamed to admit, whoever that girl gaffer was getting off on her roomies drawers....yeah, that confession turned me on.

the rest of yall are sick sick SICK fucks.

cant wait for next year!!

remember this for 2019 - bad decisions make great stories.

 

[Redneckerz]

remember this for 2019 - bad decisions make great stories.

Nah. They just make bad decisions.

And sad stories.

And cum closets, apparently.

A great idea halfly ruined by adolescents going back to their pre-pube years. ''Cum closets, haha, smirk.'' ''Dicks, gniffel..'' ''dirty things, gna gna gna.''

 

[MacReady13]

it is around here.

[vis_name][/vis_name] your challenge is to successfully use "cum closet" in a gaming-side thread

WHAT?!?

 

[Scopa]

not ashamed to admit, whoever that girl gaffer was getting off on her roomies drawers....yeah, that confession turned me on.

I thought that was a bloke...

 

[ThatStupidLion]

I thought that was a bloke...

what. no. WELP! - I'm done with the internet for the year. see you in 2020.

it was a well written piece of erotica...

I was confused about the eggplant part too, because I had it in my mind that it was a girl writing it. thought she was using a dildo/virbator called an eggplant. lol. FUCK. well at least in my head it was a woman so that softens the blow a little......

 

[Papa]

Nah. They just make bad decisions.

And sad stories.

And cum closets, apparently.

A great idea halfly ruined by adolescents going back to their pre-pube years. ''Cum closets, haha, smirk.'' ''Dicks, gniffel..'' ''dirty things, gna gna gna.''

Trying to deflect away from your cum closet eh?

 

[Scopa]

what. no. WELP! - I'm done with the internet for the year. see you in 2020.

it was a well written piece of erotica...

I was confused about the eggplant part too, because I had it in my mind that it was a girl writing it. thought she was using a dildo/virbator called an eggplant. lol. FUCK. well at least in my head it was a woman so that softens the blow a little......

Lol. Be honest. How many times did you jerk off over it? I won’t tell.

 

[ThatStupidLion]

Lol. Be honest. How many times did you jerk off over it? I won’t tell.

I'm at work sooooo....twice.

be honest though - you wrote that confession

 

[Scopa]

I'm at work sooooo....twice.

be honest though - you wrote that confession

Nah. I wrote quite a few, but I like the females, so I can’t claim this one. Plus, if you saw some of the guys I’ve lived with, it’d also rule it out.

 

[haxan7]

No. The plot twist is he’s trying to throw us of suspecting him of the cum closet.

I’m not cum closet but 2 others were mine

 

[Musky_Cheese]

I’m not cum closet but 2 others were mine

Pie and sandwich fucker

 

[slugbahr]

Does it feel better now that you've cum clean, Musky?

 

[Scopa]

Does it feel better now that you've cum clean, Musky?

He’s cum closet guy. No doubt about it.

 

[Musky_Cheese]

Does it feel better now that you've cum clean, Musky?

I feel better that Scopa got the cum closet of his chest. I’d hate to see anyone living with such a heavy burden.

 

[Papa]

No one wants to be cum closet guy. Must feel pretty shit to be cum closet guy reading this.

 

[Scopa]

No one wants to be cum closet guy. Must feel pretty shit to be cum closet guy reading this.

That coward needs to own up! I won’t judge.

Much.